The Way Home (Lights of Peril Book 2) (18 page)

“
No one … there’s been no one since you left. I swear it.”

She gets up and after she removes her jeans I
deliver a swift hand to her ass, reminding her that I’m
here
and it’s
me
. She turns to me and gives me her smile. I can see my girl in there, beyond all the grief.

Climbing on top of her to
have my way is an exploit we are both familiar with. I never held back before and I won’t now. I take her hands in mine, pulling them over her head and pinning her down where I can look at her, into her.

Her green eyes are laced with lust and
I can feel myself pulsing just outside her welcoming entrance. I’m waiting for her to tell me it’s alright, that I can have her. I don’t want to ruin the moment we have here, or scare her away, so I take it to a whisper.

“You’re mine still, aren’t you?
You love me, Sadey. Tell me that, tell me you love me.”

“Hem, please
stop talking.”

“I need to hear you say it for me, that you
still love me. I’m not asking for you to forgive me, until you understand it all, but fuck, baby, tell me you’re still mine and that you love me.”

“
I love you. My whole life I’ve loved you, Hem.”

She’s
starting to cry. I feel her shuddering underneath me and I know she’s about to lose her composure. She’s not lying to me, my girl still loves me.

Anxiously, s
he pulls me into her, wrapping her legs around my waist. She has grasped my body into her with one rough pull and I’m inside her.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight, Jesus
, baby, you feel so good.”

“Fuck me, Hem.
Take us away from here.”

Sadey doesn’t talk like this.
I don’t remember her ever being so direct, unless it was towards Mace or her mother. All her life she’s watched what she said in front of me, and since I’ve come back, she’s done nothing but use words to hurt me.

“S
adey, no, I can’t fuck you right now. Just let me feel you again for a few minutes. Stay still. I’ve missed you, all of you.”

“No.”

She’s being
selfish and she’s taking what she wants. She starts to move while finding her own sweet spot inside of her as she rides my cock from the bottom. She only has to squeeze me once and I struggle to maintain control.

I move in and out of her for as long as I can, but holy fuck
, she’s sending electric currents through me and I can’t hold back.

Being a man, I don’t want to leave her unsatisfied, but I know my time is closing in
, even though we’ve only just started.

I stop moving inside her
momentarily, giving us both time to come down for a moment. As I reach to her core I feel her moisture. Once I find her swollen clit, I rub it, using the same motion as my hips do, driving into her again. She shudders under me as she squeezes, trying to trap me inside her.

“Feel me, baby?
I’m here with you. You remember this?”

Audibly she says nothing.
She doesn’t need to. She answers with her hips at a faster pace and when I feel her about to unleash, I take her nipple into my mouth, drawing it hard, and flick my tongue against its pebble, continuing my fingers’ assault on her clit as I pump furiously into her.

“Hem, please
… God, Hem, don’t stop.”

She’s always been a little bossy in bed, which I hadn’t missed
…much.

“Baby, give it to me.
Let me feel you explode from inside. You’re so fuckin’ tight baby. You’ve been waitin’ for this. Do ... Not … Hold … Back … I’ve got you.”

With my words, she does
my will exactly. She’s taking everything I have to give her and holding nothing back. My girl.

After feeling her
gushing onto me, I can’t sustain. I’m still inside her as I enjoy my own release, I’m filling her again. For the first time in many months, in forever, I’m allowed to feel this with her again.

Neither of say anything for a while.
The anger is gone, but the pain still surrounds us. It’s not a smart decision, but I want her to stay with me. It’s my first night back here officially and I want to mark it as ours.

“Stay with me here tonight and take me to meet my son in the morning?”
Most likely a mood killer, but being this close to her, smelling and touching her, makes me long for the way we were before I left.

“Okay, as long as you’re ready.
”

“Tell me about him.”

“You’re going to see him tomorrow. I don’t need to tell you anything.” She rolls her eyes at me and starts to get up and put her shirt on.

“No, don’t go.
Please. Tell me something about him. I want to hear about him, from you, in your words.”

She is looki
ng at me in contemplation, struggling internally about if she should stay with me tonight or leave and not risk her surrendering her heart or sanity again.

“That’s
crazy, but alright.” I sigh in defeat, but relieved that she’s staying.

“Okay
. He eats like a horse. He will bully you into giving him more than his share of anything. He doesn’t like baths. He loves Shame. Remind you of anyone?”

I hear
the enthusiasm in her voice as she talks about the love my son already has for our family. “I mean no other person, Hem, including me, can get him to stop crying, but Shame puts his hands on him and the fight is over. You should also know that Shame nicknamed him ‘CJ’.”

“Why would he
nickname my boy at all? He needs a road name, something tough and strong, not ‘CJ’.”

“CJ
, translated for you, is ‘Caveman Junior’.”

“Thus a road name is born.”
My smile is wide and proud.

Even though I
enjoy hearing her go on and on about my son, it’s her voice that relaxes me. She sounds happy and she’s animated when she tells me stories of our child. I’ve wanted more than anything to hear her like this. This is my light.

“Thank you.
” I’m thankful for so much. Being here with her now is more than I could have ever wished would happen.

“For what, Hem
, letting you meet your son? You’re his
dad
. Why would you thank me for that?”

“For still trusting me enough to give me what I need
. I needed to feel you and be with you again. I don’t know where I fit anymore, so thank you.”

“I love you, but
to any further extent, I don’t trust you. I’m sorry, but I can’t right now.”

“
Sadey, you can trust my love for you”

Since
taking her body as mine for the first time all those many months ago in her bed, I’m at a loss for words. There will never be anyone that loves me more than she does. No other person in my life, including Mace and the Club brothers, have ever loved me the way she does; without conditions or request. I’m counting on her love for me not to fail us, but rather to see us through this darkness.

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

--Ernest Hemingway

-SADEY-

Hem is meeting his son today. I’m a nervous wreck about it. So many emotions have erupted within me and not in the way I thought they would during my time of prayer for his return. My wishes were that he would come back and our lives would just magically pick up where they left off the night he left me in our bed after watching me sleep and talking to me in dreams. He had held me for hours, telling me how much he loved me, what a great mother I was going to be. I trusted him explicitly, never once giving a thought that it might be the last night he would spend in our bed before leaving and never coming back.

My parents have dec
ided that they forgive him so easily. Telling them he was home was therapeutic, because since all this started, I had been the last to know. I got to say it out loud to other live people that Hem has come home. I didn’t tell them any details, other than they need to trust me enough to know what’s good for Patrick and me.

Touching him last night didn’t feel real to me.
Not until this morning when I awoke inside his embrace did I finally allow myself to admit he’s home. Neither of us knows where his home really is right now. He’s agreed to stay at the club so that we can figure all this out without constantly worrying of forcing ourselves to fit together again. Things have changed between us. Asking to go back to the couple we were is asking for the impossible.

Patrick is in the backseat sleeping
on our drive home. He has no idea how monumental this moment is to our family. Hem explained to me that all he has gotten for the three months Patrick has been here are pictures taken in secret by Hood, delivered to his burn-phones. He told me he’s lived off those and any other details that Hood could get to him without putting everyone here in danger.

Walking into my house
, I see Hem sitting up in the recliner, sleeping. He didn’t sleep last night. I know this only because every time I moved in the night, he grasped onto me so tight that I had to fight for breath before he realized what he was doing and let up.

“
Honor, you can go. We’re good here.”

Poor
, sweet Honor has been following me everywhere I go, daily. Shame likes to believe I’m still an oblivious, mourning idiot, walking around clueless, but I know when I’m being tailed.

Finally, this morning before I left
a stressed out Hem at the Club, I told Honor I knew he was the one following me. His sweetly, southern gentleman’s mannerisms wouldn’t argue with me, but I could see he thought he was going to be in trouble for being found out.

“Hem gonna be around the rest of the day?
I’m not supposed to leave you without checking in with Shame. He will have my ass if you’re left alone.”

“I’m fine.
If something happens I have your number. Now put Patrick down and go before you wake him up. Patrick and Hem sleep like the dead, but waking them before they are ready is a mistake in any county.”

“Alright, take care, Sade
. Call me if you need me.”

Closing and locking the door behind me, I make my way to Hem.
He sleeps in peace. He looks so much younger when he’s resting without worry. I don’t want to delay him from meeting his son. However, I want him to rest and be ready for the shock.

Tonight we are going to Peril
and Shame is going to have everyone there. Everyone wants to see Hem in the flesh, officially. Apparently, and as I figured, all of the members know about the contract Warren set up in the event of his own death. They have been briefed about Hem and why he came back. They know the danger lurking around us, waiting to strike.

I’m so lost in thought about tonight
, I don’t hear Hem stir beside me, until I hear his gasp as his hand goes to his mouth in a show of awe. He’s spotted Patrick, who by my estimations, has still about four minutes of sleep left in him.

“That’
s him. That’s my boy. I know his face.” Hem hasn’t taken his eyes off that car seat once since he awoke.

“
Yes, Hem. That’s most definitely your boy and if you would wait a few mi….”

Oh
, Jesus, never mind. No, he’s not going to wait even a few seconds because he’s already lifted his ass of the recliner and he’s tearing through Patrick’s blankets like its Christmas morning and his present has been waiting for him all month under the tree.

H
e picks a very tired baby up and cradles him in his large muscled arms, “God, Sadey, he’s beautiful.”

I turn to start straightening the living room
. I don’t think I can watch this unfold… too emotional for me. “The pictures Hood sent me, his eyes were never open. Sadey, those are my eyes, aren’t they?”

Wait, what?
Hem has my son in his arms and Patrick’s eyes are wide open looking into his fathers for the first time. His sleep has been disturbed and he hasn’t eaten, his diaper is most likely a mess, but surprisingly, he’s not crying. If I didn’t see this for myself I wouldn’t believe it. He has to remember Hem’s voice from while I carried him, or maybe Hem looks familiar to him in some unexplained way.

“He’s taken to you.
Shame is the only man in his life that Patrick will be still for, but look at you with him. He’s quiet and content,
now
. I think maybe you should go put him in the bath right now, so you don’t get drunk with power thinking this is how he behaves all the time.”

“Sadey, shhh.
Give me this moment, would you? Damn, woman.”

He smiles at me and his face lights up for the first time
I’ve seen since seeing him yesterday. Hem looks at me and looks back to Patrick, then does what every damn father does to torment the tired mother. He talks to me
through
my son, “Mama thinks she’s gonna ruin this with that mouth of hers runnin’ at us, doesn’t she? She thinks because she’s across the room right now I won’t set my beautiful boy down to whip her ass. CJ, talk to your mother and set her right. That will save me time today. Hook me up, son.”

“Patrick Collins
! Do not talk to my son about spanking my ass. What is wrong with you? Good grief, he’s just an infant. I’m serious about that bath, too. Both of you could use one. Mace is bringing Ryder over in a bit for you to watch so she and Shame can get things ready for the party tonight. One whiff of either of you and she’s going to go nuts and you know very well she will probably blame it all on Shame.”

I’m being ignored.
Hem is lost in this moment of bliss with Patrick. He leans into Patrick’s head, takes a big whiff, and smiles ear to ear.

“This is my boy, Sadey.
I have a son.” His eyes are filled with tears. This is where Hem’s heart gives him away. He’s a gentle lover and he will be a doting father.

He puts
Patrick down in his vibrating chair and turns it on. Once it starts to fully vibrate under him, Hem lifts his head and smirks at me. This is where Hem’s
brain
gives him away. He’s a pervert. Lord, I just know he’s thinking dirty thoughts about a child’s chair. That’s how Hem’s mind works. Mental images of sixteen years from now and how Hem will be with teaching our child his life lessons in women and love appear and it scares the shit out of me.

Patrick gives Hem about thir
ty seconds of quiet, then he starts to scream, just as his mother knew he would. I smile, knowing I don’t even have to say that I told him so.

“He’s your boy now, Sadey.
Jesus, is this kid for real? Damn it, he can cry. Fuck if that ain’t all you, baby.”

I can’t help but start laugh
ing out loud at his assessment. He’s known our son, apparently now accepted as CJ, for five full minutes, yet he’s pegged nearly every personality trait. They’ve already bonded.