The Way Home (Lights of Peril Book 2) (14 page)

“You cheated on her.”

“We’re all cheaters and liars, Sade. Some of us are just better at it.”

“Ace…”

His face is soft. He isn’t listening to me past his own thoughts. “I never would have been enough for you, would I? You never would have loved me, no matter if Hem is around or not.”

This again.
Always this with him. I love him. I just don’t ever see myself being in love with him. “I’m his, Ace. Until I’m ready to be anyone’s but his, I have nothing to give you. I know that right now, in this moment, I can’t look at you anymore. I trusted you and you hurt me.
I trusted you
.”

“Sadey, I did it all
with you in heart and mind. Every decision I’ve made for the last six months, I’ve made for you. I want you to see that, one day soon. I swear to you that you will. I love you, Sadey, I love you so fuckin’ much, but it’s not enough. Do you know what it’s like to love someone so powerfully, with everything you have inside you, but they can’t love you back?”

“
Fuck, I don’t know, Ace, do I? I think I have some experience in that. I think I’ve cornered that damn market. I love Hem, remember? I will always love Hem, but he will never be here again to love me back.”

With my last statement, Ace
looks at me like I’ve just gut punched him. He turns and leaves me standing alone.

After my heart to heart with Ace, admitting once again to the liv
ing that my heart belongs to those who walk with the dead, I have decided to start staying with Mace and Shame. I act like this was all my idea, but Shame told me I was staying here with them for a couple of weeks while he’s gone out on a ride with Gunner, Honor, Raider, and of course, Hood. Mace says he’s down south again, but after my eavesdropping session, I know he’s off to California. I don’t know what the hell is happening, but if it’s bad, I want them to leave it there. Do not bring more shit home.

I didn’t get a chance to tell Sylvie goodbye
after our chat yesterday, but I’m sure I will get the chance to see her again soon. April told me that she came to the club yesterday looking for me, citing that she wanted to talk to me; to visit and catch up.

Truly, I thought I was the crazy one,
but I just hear voices. She’s plotting my death as she talks to my friends like we are BFF’s. No thanks, I’m good. I’ve got enough crazy around to last me a lifetime. I don’t need any more soliciting to check my inventory.

Since
the boys left in a rush, Ace insisted he stick around here to watch for anything that looks out of place. Shame agreed, only because he knows Ace won’t let anything happen to me during his absence. I still haven’t actually seen or talked to Ace since our talk last week in Shame’s old room, but knowing he is out there watching out for me does make me feel better.

After putting Patrick down for sleep and checking
to see if Ryder is alright in his nursery, I reach for my phone to give the new mommy peace of mind while she’s out ‘grocery shopping.’

Shame has put Cricket on her in way of watch and I can see tw
o more familiar faces from the club sitting outside her house watching me. She worries so much without the added stress of them around, even with me here babysitting. I understand that she hates leaving Ryder, but the woman needs a break and if she can get that at the store, so be it.

Before I text her, I notice I have a missed message
.

-ACE-

Hey bug, I know you’re fuckin’ pissed at me. Unsure what else I can say, or if there’s anything left to say. Can I come by and talk? If you don’t want to, I will understand and give you space.

Dammit, I’m so tired of dealing with this shit.
He’s married. I’m in mourning. I don’t want Ace. Where the hell could this relationship go from where it started? Nothing good comes from cheating, and even though I think he’s got himself a pit bull for a wife, he still chose to marry her. I don’t want our friendship to end on bad terms. I just want him to go back to California, live his life, and find his happiness. Maybe rather than sit here and debate this internally I should just explain all this to him, then tell him to go home, for good.

-ME-

I’m staying with Mace. You can come by, she’s not here right now, and I have the boys.

I’ve been messing about the house all morning
, and I look slightly better than death warmed over, so I would rather he not see me like this. Before I can make my way to my room, I hear the knock.

You’re kidding me
? Was he in the damn driveway when he texted me? Fine. Whatever. I look like Medusa, but he’s seen me look worse, I’m sure.

“Hi.”
He looks tired, stressed, and I can smell whiskey on him. It’s only one o’clock in the afternoon and I can smell whiskey. This can’t be good.

“Hello
, Ace. You alright?”

“No.”

“No?”

“Sadey, I need to talk to you and I
need you to listen. In about ten minutes, your life is going to change, radically. I need you to hear me out and remember that I love you. I would do anything for you. You believe that, right?”

“Ace, please.
You’re scaring me. What have you done?”

“
Sadey bug ... Just please, listen.”

“
Would you come in here? I’m thinking we probably don’t need to have this conversation on the porch.” He gives me a puzzled look and I can tell he’s reliving our sexcapade that happened not just a couple of weeks before.

After he looks around outside the door, checking the perimeter of Shame’s house
, he makes his way in and goes right to Shame’s reclining chair, as far away from me as he can get.

I’m getting ready to find out wha
t the hell is going on and it’s about damn time. No way can he be acting this insane only because he’s married. He takes a big breath and hits me with news that I never would have seen coming.

“You already know why Hem gave himself to Warren.
He did it for all of you, because Warren threatened to take everyone that Hem loved away from him and it wasn’t going to be humane or gentle. You knew all that, right?”

I
don’t like remembering this, but I need to stay calm and collected or Ace won’t let me have the truth. “Why are we re-living all of this? I can hardly think about, let alone talk, about it.”

“
Sadey, let me get this out. Before Warren met Hem that night, he set up a contract.”

“Contract?”

A person hires someone to finish a job for money. Bug, I’m talking about someone to hurt you, Mace, Shame, the babies ... everyone. Someone to ruin Hem’s life in the event that Warren died during his vengeance on Hem.”

“I don’t understand
, though. Why? Warren is dead, Hem is dead, and the purpose has been served. Are you telling me someone is still coming after me? Someone has been in my house, Ace. Someone also knocked on my door asking about me and where I was. They talked to Cherry. Scar face came by and accosted me, there at my house while Patrick slept not fifteen feet from the front door. Someone has been lurking around and leaving Shame on edge. Are you telling me that this
someon
e is coming after my son?” I want to be sick. This news, it’s too much.

“You need to talk to Shame.”

“Shame isn’t here and he won’t talk me. Please, Ace, you have to tell me everything. I’m scared for Patrick and what about Ryder? Warren is dead… I don’t understand.” I feel my heart beating in my chest. I never, ever, would have thought that a stranger, out for hire, would want me and my family dead. What the hell is the point?

“Look, I’ve told you enough
. Hell, I’ve told you too much. There are things I haven’t, but that’s for Shame. He’s on his way back now. He has
all
the answers. When he gets back, Sade, you will have all of yours. I promise. Just know that I’m sorry, okay? I love you. I would have never hurt you on purpose. I swear it. You have to believe that.”

“
What are you talking about? Why would you hurt me? I don’t get it. Wait! Ace, is the contract person that scar-face man who came asking if I was Hem’s woman? The other one who was here, the man that Warren gave Mace to the night Mace was taken by Greyson.”

“No,
believe it or not. He’s actually helping find the person that’s doing this. That’s Risk. He hated Warren after Warren and Greyson killed Switch, then ran that club to the ground, serving their own purpose getting rid of Hem. Hood and Risk are tight, always were, until Hood left the gang after what Greyson did to Cherry. He couldn’t stomach it. He knew it was fucked.”

“So, why was he
here
then? He wasn’t nice about it, he was scary.”

“Sadey, please.
Just wait a little longer. Your answers are coming, baby.”

Ace stands up and walks to me, I’m still standing near the front door in shock.
All this information that I’ve begged for hasn’t helped me piece anything together. I don’t get what I’m supposed to be waiting for.

I feel Ace’s body close to mine
. He’s warm to the touch and he’s shaking. The palm of his hand moves to my chin and his fingers brush my face as he moves my hair behind my ear, then runs his fingertips across my temple. This is how Ace always tries to calm me and I’m transported to when I was in the hospital. I’m not going to refuse him this, since it appears to be calming him as well.

Not long after we get comfortable with each other again
, I hear a car door outside. Mace is home. She won’t like that Ace is here and inside the house. Shame doesn’t mind Ace watching over us, but Ace being here and around the boys… this will piss him off. Ace needs to get packin’.

In all my fear I had forgotten I locked the front door
out of habit. I move my hands to the door handle and just before I open it, Ace stops me by grabbing my waist and pulling me to him. He says nothing more than, “Sade bug, I love you.”

What the
hell is wrong with him?

I open the door
and it definitely isn’t who I thought it was. It’s Shame, and God, he looks broken, devastated, and so sorry.

Before I can ask what happened to him, he looks into my eyes and
says to me, with a purpose I still don’t understand, “It’s alright now. You’re going to be alright, buddy. Just Hold … The ... Fuck … On.”

Then
it comes together for me; the person I’ve pleaded for, the voice I’ve yearned to hear in the quiet of the night, and the face I’ve only seen in my dreams for the last six months.

“Sadey g
irl?”

Oh my God
.

Point
three seconds. That’s all it takes for me to push Shame out of my way and look beyond his rigid and haggard body, to my Hem.

I’m so caught up in this
moment, this moment I never could have imagined, that there is no hesitation to run to him, nearly knocking him off his feet from where he stands. I refuse to smile for fear the movement of my face might awaken me from a dream, but inside I’m bursting with life again. My arms are around his neck and he’s holding me so tightly to him I have to make a conscious effort to breathe. It’s too much to comprehend that this could even be real.

I’
m crying big, heavy tears into his chest. I’m pulling him to me and I can’t get him close enough. I can smell him. I remember the smell of his neck and I can hear his heart beating in my ear in familiar rhythm.

God, if you’re listening to me and you’re watching this
, please, I’m begging you to make this not a lie. Please, don’t have me believe he’s here, then take him away during the night like he has so many times before, making it so when I wake up, I’m alone.

Hem is crying
. I can feel him make sudden movements as I hold him. He’s sobbing in my hair, his deep, heavy breaths making it impossible to hide it. He’s running his hand over my head and neck, whispering to me like he always had, “My girl. My sweet, sweet, Sadey girl. I’ve missed you. I love you, I never thought…”

He can’t say anymore, his tears and sobs
having overtaken his ability to use his words. Once broken, the poet’s heart is left with no way to articulate thought.