The Voyage (6 page)

Chapter 13

Unbeknownst to the passengers aboard the doomed,
MS St. Louis
, as the vessel sailed out of the port of Hamburg, all of their visas were already invalid. It was due to a change in the Cuban Government. This new leadership ruled that only 28 of the passengers had valid passports. They would be the only ones allowed to leave the ship and enter the country.

To make matters worse, Goebbels had been successful in creating a strong anti-Semitic climate in Cuba. Word spread like a plague to the Cuban people that a group of Jewish criminals was on its way to their harbor. Five days before the ship was scheduled to dock, 40,000 Cubans participated in a demonstration that strongly opposed the entrance of the Jewish immigrants to Havana. This had a marked effect on the government’s future decision to refuse entrance to all but 28 passengers.

Chapter 14

The days slipped by with ease as the ship sailed toward her destination. Aboard the
MS St. Louis
, one could forget that Hitler lurked in the shadows. Good food, clean water, music, SUNSHINE, and dancing helped the passengers to leave the past behind and to once again allow themselves to have hope for the future.

At close to midnight one evening, the ship’s bell clanged loudly, awakening the passengers. It was an alarm so astoundingly loud that within moments everyone had come on deck to see what had caused the ruckus. Alex felt his body tremble uncontrollably, even though he stood in the warm tropical breeze of the Atlantic Ocean. Manny, Anna, and Elke stood beside him. Manny tried to give his friends strength by appearing confident that nothing serious had taken place. Anna’s eyes were still half closed with sleep, and Elke looked surprisingly young and vulnerable without all of the makeup she wore during the day.

Together, the four friends stood awaiting an announcement as to why the bell had summoned them. As he glanced around him, Alex saw people crying. Some of the men had begun praying, swaying as the Hebrew words of prayer were whispered into the night.

It felt like hours, but within a few minutes, the captain appeared at the front of the deck. Perfectly dressed in his uniform, he stood before the crowd. His crew stood behind him in their white uniforms. From where Elke stood, she could see Viktor. His eyes met hers, and then he quickly turned away.

“As your captain, it is my responsibility to inform you of any goings on upon this vessel. So it is with great regret that I must tell you that someone has fallen from the ship. We believe it to be a crewmember; however, that has not yet been confirmed. There is no evidence as to how this happened. Perhaps it was a suicide, or maybe an accident. We don’t know at this point. We may never know. I have dispatched a rescue crew. I will keep all of you up-to-date as to the outcome of this tragic event. Please return to your rooms and try to get some sleep.”

After the captain left, the crowd began to disperse. Then a woman of middle age, her salt-and-pepper hair wild with the night wind and her face ragged with premature wrinkles, began to scream.

“I think it’s a murder. I think they plan to kill us all… They’re Nazis. Look…” She pointed with a quivering finger to the Nazi flag that flew at the front of the ship. “How can we trust them… How?” She wobbled on the brink of hysteria as a man who appeared to be her husband put his arm around her shoulder leading her away.

Now, as Alex glanced over at Anna, he saw that she was crying. It amazed him that after all the tragedy he’d witnessed in the camp, he could still feel such compassion for this small, fragile girl. He loathed sentiment; he hated to allow himself to feel. It was dangerous. In Dachau, he’d learned that to care was to hurt deeply, to die inside. To love meant loss. It left you weak and vulnerable, even more open to cruelty. Alex could bear his own pain, even his own death, but not the death of a loved one, not again. And yet, he couldn’t help himself. Whatever had come over him was well beyond his control. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he reached out with trembling fingers and touched another person. His hand rested tenderly on Anna’s upper arm. This gesture, although it was small, was monumental to Alex. The warmth of connecting to another human being sent tingles of electricity through his entire body as he stood paralyzed by the realization that he was still alive. He could still feel he could still care. The Nazis had taken so much, but God had given him his humanity and no one could take that away.  She turned to him, surprised at the gesture. But she, too, felt the shock waves that ran through her with a startling emotional bond. Then, through her tears, she gazed up into his eyes. There she saw great empathy and knew the true essence of Alex. Neither of them spoke.

For a long while, the noise all around them muffled in their ears and they could no longer hear the outside world. In this strange and magical moment, something significant had occurred.

Chapter 15

The following morning at breakfast, Anna moved from Manny’s side to sit between Manny and Alex. For the first time since he’d boarded the ship, Alex had a smile on his face and his skin seemed to have lost its chalky pallor. In fact, he appeared almost radiant. But his eyes still reflected the depth of a dark world few had ever known. Still, because of Anna, Alex had joined the living. And he’d begun to allow himself a small sliver of joy.

After they finished eating, the group went up to the deck to enjoy the morning.  There was a great deal of excitement on board because they were coming close to Havana. The ship had been at sea for ten days. It would only be four more days before they would enter Cuban waters.  Then their new lives would begin in earnest. As the group of friends looked out over the ocean where it met with the blue cloudy sky, they were each lost in their own thoughts. Soon this friendship they had built together and come to lean on like surrogate family during the voyage would be done, and they would go their separate ways. There could be no telling if they would ever see each other again.

Manny watched as Alex and Anna seemed to speak to each other without words. The tenderness they felt for one another reflected in their eyes. His own feelings bubbled up in a quiet rage of jealousy. He’d wanted Anna. They had been together first. Then Alex came along with his neediness and something had stirred within her. Manny could not bear to watch them together. Instead, he suggested that they all go for a swim.

“I am going to have to decline. I’d like to spend a few hours in the library.” Alex got up and stretched.

“Would it be all right if I went with you?” Anna asked.

Manny was livid.

“Of course, if you’d like,”Alex said.

“Well, only if you would like me to…”

“Yes...I would,” he replied.

“That’s fine, then…it’s settled. “Manny tried to smile. “Elke, would you take a swim with me?” Manny asked, as he looked away in an effort to hide his resentment. After all he’d done for Alex; Alex had rewarded him by stealing his girl.

“Sure…let me get my suit.” Elke smiled.

Chapter 16

When Elke walked over to the pool, everyone turned around to look at the tall magnificent blonde. She shook her long hair out of a ponytail and smiled at Manny, who returned the smile in kind.

Viktor, who had been swimming, looked up as Elke walked out on to the deck. His eyes betrayed his longing for her. She was everything he’d searched for his entire life, and she would not even look at him. Most women fell at his feet, but she refused his advances. Why? What could he do to change her mind? He watched the sunlight catch her hair and his heart ached with yearning.  He must find a way.

Manny saw the undeniable beauty in Elke and his sexual desires were fueled by his anger toward Alex. With all of the previous experience, Elke had with men she knew instantly by the look in his eyes what Manny wanted. She considered his desires and her own. After all, there was no guarantee of the future. This entire trip could have all been another trick of the Third Reich. She might leave the ship and be shot, or sent back to Germany to a camp. Or even worse, be used as a sexual toy, forced to endure the cruel whims of her Nazi persecutors. She’d been through that before, and she’d suffered. There was no telling what the next few weeks held. Elke considered all the possibilities. Then she measured the joys of a tender sexual encounter with Manny. After all, this might be the last one she would ever have, the final time a man would hold her gently in his arms, stroke her body and whisper kind words in her ear. She wanted that; she needed that memory to survive whatever was about to happen. And just suppose that by some miracle things went as planned… What if they landed in Cuba and all was well? What if Manny fell in love with her and she married him? Oh, what a dream, to live a life of privilege, to be respected, to be a part of society, to be the wife of a prominent man, instead of the mistress of many.

After a quick dip in the pool, the two dried off in the sun. Elke turned to Manny, “Would you like to come to my room?” Her eyes and wet skin glistened in the morning light. Of course, she already knew his answer before he spoke.

Momentarily, the pain of losing Anna was gone and Manny felt only the pure desire of long-repressed sexual need. “Yes,” he said. “I would like that very much.” Manny smiled at Elke.

She stood up and wrapped her towel around her waist. Then Manny followed her to her room, while Viktor sat watching.

Chapter 17

Anna and Alex sat in the library. He’d taken the manuscript he’d written along with him and presented it to Anna. She read his memoirs. She was clearly disturbed, but she remained silent as she continued reading, asking no questions, and wanting no answers. Three hours passed, then four. The document was long, over two hundred pages. She was not nearly finished when, finally, he turned to her.

“So?” he asked, barely above a whisper. “What do you think?”

“My God, is all of this true?” She indicated the manuscript that Alex had written. “Is this really what is going on in the camps? I had no idea. I don’t think most people know.”

“Yes, this and more. They are murdering people by the thousands. I fear it is going to escalate from here.”

Tears formed in her eyes. Alex did not try to stop her crying. Instead, he allowed a tear of his own to fall.

“How can people treat other people this way? How do they find it in their hearts? Aren’t they human beings, just like us? Don’t they go home and play with their children, hug their wives, share an evening meal with their families? How can they do this, and then go on as if things were normal? I don’t understand it at all. Do you?”

“I never did understand. I couldn’t hurt anything. But I saw the devil firsthand. I saw such unbelievable cruelty that I will never forget the terrible things that happened in that place.”

She lay her head on his shoulder.

“Thank God you survived,” she said. “And thank God you are on your way to a new life, far from Germany and Dachau.”

“Yes, I am grateful to God. But I am guilty too. Why was I chosen to survive, and my little sister, who never said a bad word about anyone or anything, was murdered?”

“I have no answers,” she said. “Maybe it is selfish of me, but I am glad you are here and alive.”

He put his arms around her. It was not his intention to make her so sad. Why was it that such misery followed him? Why was it that everyone who loved him suffered?

Tears flowed from his eyes as he looked at Anna and remembered his family. She saw his tears, and she could not hold her own back any longer.

Together they wept for everyone they’d loved and lost, and for all of the souls still in Germany, especially those still in camps, frightened, and alone. Those who could not get out, who were still held as prisoners in the hell Hitler had created, waiting for the Nazis to inflict their cruelty upon them.

Chapter 18

Manny proved to be a caring and experienced lover. He worshiped the beauty that lay naked before him. His admiration of her beauty filled Elke with the warmth she longed for. But she knew the difference between passion and love. When they lay spent, she turned to him, wise beyond her youth and said, “It’s no use. You’re in love with Anna.”

“You can tell?”

“Of course, anyone who can see would know what you are feeling. It is as plain as the sky.”

“It is that obvious, huh? Do you think she knows?”

“No… I am sorry, but I think she’s in love with Alex and cannot see beyond that.”

“I know.”He folded his arms across his chest in disgust.

“Don’t be angry, Manny. She can’t help how she feels. I am sure she did not intend to hurt you.”

“I know that too. That’s what makes it all so hard. And Alex...”

“Yes, and Alex… For him, this is an unexpected chance at living again. When I first saw him, I felt sure that Alex was just a breath away from suicide.”

“That’s true. I knew that too.”

“Now, he’s found love.”

Manny nodded his head.

“Manny, you will love again and again. You are just that type of man. I wish I were the girl, but sadly, I am not. However, Alex… Well...this is a onetime thing for him. Either he will be with Anna or he will be alone. I don’t believe he will ever find anyone else.”

“Oh, Elke, this leaves me with so many questions…and no answers. I thought she might be my
bashert
…but if she was, wouldn’t she love me as much as I love her?”

              Elke shrugged, she couldn’t answer his question. She didn’t know, so she just looked into his eyes and smoothed the hair off his forehead. “I have faith in you, Manny. You’ll know the right thing to do.”