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Authors: Roberta Kagan

BOOK: The Voyage
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Chapter 10

 

The following morning the crew announced that a movie would be shown in the ship’s theater after dinner that night. It had been some time since Jews were allowed into the cinema, so this came as a rare treat. An air of excitement surrounded the evening’s events. The women talked about what they would wear, and everyone wondered what film would be shown. As the ship continued to sail, while the passenger’s ate fine food and enjoyed the sunshine, little by little they began to leave the horror of Nazi Germany behind them.

Before the
MS St. Louis
sailed, the captain had gathered his crew. He had made it clear that anyone who showed disrespect to the Jewish passengers would be severely punished. This angered many of the workers, as they were pure Aryan’s and the
MS St. Louis
flew under the Nazi flag. However, the captain refused to bend on this rule and enforced it with the utmost authority.

“I am the captain of this ship,” he’d said. “While I am in charge, there will be no contempt toward our Jewish guests. They will be made to feel comfortable in every way.”

“You are not a member of the Nazi party?” A tall, well-built, blond crewmember asked.

“I am not, and this is my ship. As long as I am alive, I am in command here. If you cannot follow my rules, I suggest you leave the ship before we sail. Any defiance of my wishes will be considered mutiny.”

Chapter 11

 

“It might do you good to watch a film. Take your mind off things for a few hours. So Alex, what do you think?” Manny asked him.

“Yes, perhaps you’re right. It has been a very long time since I did something so frivolous.”

“Well, it might be good for you.”

Manny loaned Alex another pair of black pants and a white cotton shirt. Next to the shirt, he placed a thin gray-and-black tie.

After taking a long, hot bath, Alex dressed for dinner. When he had finished, Manny marveled once again at his roommate

s good looks. Then, shaking his head and smiling, Manny watched Alex scrutinize the necktie. After rejecting it, Alex popped open the top button of his shirt, choosing comfort over formality with little consideration of his appearance.

“You are a handsome devil,” Manny said.

Alex smiled and shook his head.

Elke joined the three after dinner, and they proceeded to the auditorium. Viktor was already there, waiting. He’d saved seats for all three of them. When Elke saw him smiling, she could not help but return his smile.

“I didn’t see you in the dining room.”

“You were looking for me?” Viktor asked.

“I was, I must admit.”

“That makes me so happy.” Viktor smiled. “I was upstairs arranging some things in the engine room and I couldn’t get away. You have my true apologies.”

Alex looked through the corner of his eye at Viktor. What was a Nazi officer doing with his friends? This was dangerous. He wished he’d stayed in his room, but to leave now would only draw attention to him.

The soft hum of conversation petered out as the lights dimmed and the curtains opened. An instrumental of a German love song played, filling the theater with lovely sound. The movie was to be a lighthearted romantic comedy. But before the feature film, a short came blaring onto the screen. There right in front of them all, larger than life, was the face of Adolph Hitler ranting about his hatred of Jews. Red faced, with hands flaying about in anger, he raved. As the movie clip continued, one by one the audience left the theater in horror.

Viktor stood up his voice rose “What the hell is going on here? Who is responsible for this outrage?”

No one answered. The film continued.

Manny turned to look at Alex who sat glued to the screen. Anna watched Alex as well. His face contorted with fury. With a firm grip on Alex’s upper arm, Manny tried to break the spell.

“Come let’s go from here. We’ll go up on the deck and get some air.”

Viktor turned to the others. “I am terribly sorry about this. I am going to the projection area to find out who is behind all of it.” Viktor left.

The girls stood ready to leave. The lights in the theater had been turned on and someone had silenced the film but had not turned it off. Hitler’s face remained frozen on the screen as Alex remained frozen in his chair.

“Alex.” Manny shook his arm “Alex... Alex...”

Alex shook Manny’s hand off him. Tears began to slide down Alex’s face. Then Anna walked over to the chair on the other side of Alex and sat down. She gently placed her hand upon his. For several moments she did not speak. But once he noticed her presence by the heat of her palm in his, he looked at her face.

“Alex, it’s all right.” With her other hand, Anna wiped the tears from his cheek. “We should leave here. Please...come with us.” She smoothed the skin under his eye with her thumb. “Let’s go up on deck? Yes? Come please?” she urged as she squeezed his hand.

From the distance, they could hear Viktor shouting in German and the voice of another man apologizing as the screen went white.

Alex nodded. He rose and the group left the auditorium.

That night, although he did not speak much, Alex stayed with the other three and watched carefully. Tonight’s incident had only served to increase his distrust. He sat on deck with Anna and Manny as Manny smoked Cuban cigars and told stories of his escapades traveling around Europe. “Better times,” Manny called them. “Before the New Germany.”

Elke walked over to where they were sitting. Her platinum blonde hair took on a silver hue in the moonlight, and it did not go unnoticed by Manny. He found her to be ravishing. With her curvaceous figure, high heels and blue eyes, he knew he would have enjoyed a night sharing her bed. But so unlike his usual self, Manny decided against the seduction because of his feelings for Anna. In the past, he would have already been pursuing this magnificent creature, and because he wasn’t, once again he wondered if he had fallen in love.

It was over an hour before Viktor came up on deck.

“I thought I might find you here,” he said to Elke. “Again, please, all of you, accept my apologies for tonight.”

Manny and Anna nodded. Elke did not meet Viktor’s gaze. Instead she looked out across the ocean.

“Elke, will you take a walk with me?” Viktor asked.

She nodded.

They got up and walked as the moon began to rise in the sky.

“That should never have happened.  The man responsible will be punished.”

She nodded.

“Elke, what are you thinking?’

“The truth?”

“Of course.”

“I’m wondering what it is that you want from me Viktor. And…I am afraid of you, of your power to cause me trouble.”

“I would never cause you trouble.”

“Even if I told you to go away and let me be with my friends, and to stop trying to act as if we were living in normal times? I am a Jew and you are a Gentile, a Nazi too. This could turn out very badly.”

“Do you really want me to leave you alone? I will if you tell me to.”

“And then what will happen to me? To my friends?”

“Nothing. The only thing that will happen is my heart will be broken.”

“I am sorry for your feelings, but yes, Viktor, please leave me alone. This is not a good thing for either of us. Why begin something that can only cause us pain and suffering? You are going back to Germany. I am going to America. I can never return to Germany. We have only a few days left together before the ship docks in Havana. It’s best if we don’t even start a romance.”

“Fine, I wouldn’t want you to feel pushed into anything.” He turned and walked away without looking back.

That night, as Elke lay in her bed trying to sleep, she remembered everything that she’d been forced to do with the men from the
Gestapo
.  She was just a child when it began, only twelve. They were so taken with her Aryan appearance that they’d avoided arresting her or her mother in order to continue the “evening dates” with Elke. That was how they referred to the nights they would bring sausages and bread, or sugar and flour. There were four of them, all friends, all in agreement as to how much they enjoyed their time with her. Often they came one at a time, but once in a while they all come together. Sometimes they would bring dinner, but she could never eat. Because she knew what was to come next, and she dreaded the physical union. When the men were ready, they would take her to the small bedroom where she still kept her dolls and stuffed bear on the shelf over her bed. It had only been a few years since she’d stopped playing with them. And then it began. The first few times the pain had been terrible, lasting well into the following day. But as time went by, the pain ceased, and she learned that she could use her beauty to manipulate men. And so she did. That was how she’d gotten on to this ship. She’d promised them all something very special in exchange for her freedom. She’d delivered, and surprisingly they’d kept their promise. Once she‘d set sail, she assumed that her mother had probably been arrested. It saddened her, but in some ways, the resentment she felt for her mother’s allowing these men to have the evening dates with still lingered. Perhaps someday she would find it in her heart to forgive her mother, but for now, she couldn’t.

Viktor… What a puzzle he presented. She thought about him. He was a man, and men wanted only one thing, and he was a Nazi, to boot. If she were placing a bet, she would bet that Viktor was no different from the other Nazis she’d known. Best to be done with him now. 

Now, Manny, he was a different story. Manny, had grown up with money and class; he reeked of it. When he’d told the stories of his travel through Europe, she knew that he’d never wanted for anything.  The hotels where he’d stayed were the most luxurious. He didn’t even realize that he sounded as if he was bragging. To Manny, this was his way of life, plain and simple. He knew no other. Well, this was the life Elke yearned for, a life of opulence, of plenty. His family waited for his arrival in America. They were rich, no doubt. If she could win Manny’s affection, her life would be mapped out for her, once she left the ship in Cuba. She would go off to America at his side, marry him, and forget her past. Yes, Manny was the one she wanted.

Chapter 12

 

In the morning, while all the passengers were in the dining room having breakfast, the captain’s voice rang clear over the loudspeaker, offering an apology for the behavior of his crewmember in the theater the previous night. He assured the passengers he’d had no knowledge of the film that aired causing such distress among the passengers.

“It is my promise to you that the perpetrator of this offense will be punished. And while I have your attention, I would like to extend the offer of
Shabbat
services on Friday nights, if anyone would like to attend. We have a rabbi on board who is willing to officiate. The services will take place before dinner in the main ballroom. Once again, I apologize for last night. I remain your captain, officially in charge of the
MS St. Louis
.”


Shabbat
services? He seems like a decent fellow.” Manny smiled at the girls.

From the side of her eye Anna glanced at Alex who remained silent, but looked at Manny as if he were a fool.

“Would you believe I have never attended a Jewish service? My mother tried to raise me like a Christian. She said that with my coloring I would pass for a German. I even wore a cross,” Elke said as she ran her hand over the white tablecloth.

“Even when you were little, before the Nazis?” Anna asked.

“Yes, she wanted to be a part of “their society,” always. Before it was Hitler’s henchmen, it was Hindenburg’s crowd. My mother had high aspirations for me…but mostly for herself. However, once the Nazi’s took power, they knew instantly from our background that we were Jewish. So, my mother’s pretense had no effect on them at all. Cross or no cross, to the Nazis we were nothing but Jews.”

“If you would like to see a
Shabbat
service, I would love to go with you.” Anna smiled. “It is very beautiful.”

“You know, until
Kristallnacht
, my mother never made much reference to the fact that we were Jewish. I knew I was, but not really… I mean all of my friends and our family friends were Gentiles. In fact it wasn’t until we had a visit from the
Gestapo
that I realized what I was.” Elke looked down avoiding Alex’s accusing eyes.

“Well, don’t worry too much about all that. You were just a child. You had no idea.” Manny smiled at her.

“I hope you realize now what it means to be a Jew. No matter how hard you might have tried to hide your identity…Hitler has decided that you are a Jew. And you will suffer the same fate as the other Jews.” Alex glared at her.

“Alex, don’t be cruel. It isn’t her fault. She was just a little girl.”Manny took a sip of water.

“We should be proud of our Jewish heritage. If more of us had been proud and stood up for what we believed in, before they had the chance to put us into camps, all of this might never have happened.”Alex glared at Manny.

Anna’s eyes filled with admiration as she listened to Alex speak.

“I too, am guilty of not standing up.” Manny looked over at Alex. “Not because I was ashamed, but I just never thought it would turn out to be this bad. I had Jewish and Gentile friends alike, and my religion never seemed to be of importance. We weren’t religious…my family, I mean.”

“Neither was mine, but we were Jews…and when the Nazis started their miserable propaganda against us…well…I stood up. I wrote… I wrote to the papers…” Alex hung his head. “Ahhh, Manny, maybe you’re right. All my writing...so what did it do? Where did it get me?  It got my family killed; that’s what it did. And it got me a first-class place in a filthy, disease-ridden bunk in Dachau. Things are not good for Jews in Germany now,  but somehow, I feel this situation is going to get a lot worse. We haven’t begun to see the Nazis in full force…”

“I hope not, but at least we won’t be in Germany to witness it.”

“Yes, Manny we won’t be there…but what about all the Jews that will not be so lucky?”

Manny shrugged his shoulders. He had nothing to say.

For a long time everyone was silent. Thoughts of Anna’s parents weighed heavily upon her mind. If things got worse in Germany, it would greatly affect their lives. Silently, she said a prayer for their safety, but even so, the little voice of terror inside of her could not be quieted.

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