The Vanishing Point (16 page)

24

T
he first shockwas that Pete was still there. His carwas parked outside my house and the bedroom curtains were still closed at half past ten. ‘That doesn’t look good,’ Scarlett said. ‘I thought you said he was supposed to be at work this morning?’

‘That’s what he said.’ But it looked as though he’d changed his mind. Or I’d changed it for him.

‘Do you want me to come in with you?’

To be honest, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go in at all. Pete’s rage had unsettled me as well as frightened me. That he was still there indicated I’d been wrong about him getting over his tantrum. I didn’t want to confront that anger again. Ever. I’d never been more certain of anything in my life. In my head, I was finished with him. No amount of contrition could undo those moments of unchained fury and the promise of violence they held. ‘Let’s wait a bit,’ I said.

‘OK.’ Scarlett reclined the seat and closed her eyes. Since Jimmy’s birth, she’d developed the enviable habit of being able to catnap anywhere, at any time. I might be on tenterhooks. But Scarlett was asleep within a couple of minutes. I listened to the radio and her soft snores, trying to slow my own breathing to her rhythm.

It was almost eleven when the front door swung open and Pete emerged. Even from a distance, he looked wild-eyed and unshaven. As shocking as his appearance was the fact that he left the front door wide open behind him as he hustled down the path and into his car. The tyres screeched as he shot away, rousing Scarlett from her slumber.

‘Wassup,’ she grumbled. ‘Wassit?’

‘Bastard,’ I said, already halfway out of the car.

She caught me up on my doorstep. ‘He left the door open?’

‘Obviously hoping for some passing burglar,’ I said bitterly over my shoulder as I walked in. Then stopped short. The hallway looked like the burglary had already happened. And a pretty spiteful one at that. Pictures had been stripped from the walls and dropped to the floor. Broken glass and fragments of frames were trodden into the carpet. A couple of the prints themselves were torn where a foot had gone through them.

‘Oh, shit,’ Scarlett said from behind me. I was beyond speech.

I didn’t want to go any further for fear of what I would find. A heady brew of smells was enough of a clue to what lay ahead of me. But uncertainty was worse than anxiety. I walked into what had been my beautiful open-plan ground floor living space and staggered as my knees lost the power to hold me straight. Scarlett grabbed me, saving me from collapsing amid the ruins of my kitchen. Now I knew what Pete had been doing all night.

It looked as if he’d opened every cupboard and drawer and swept the contents to the floor. Broken crockery, jars and bottles lay in random heaps linked by piles and pools of flour, rice, jam, pasta, ketchup, olives, oil, melted ice cream and alcohol. In the living space beyond, books and CDs were strewn all over the floor, more broken pictures and frames scattered over them. I thought I was going to throw up.

‘I’m going to fucking kill him,’ Scarlett said. ‘I swear to God.’ She picked up an overturned chair and lowered me into it. ‘But first I’m going to call the cops.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘Don’t do that. He’ll twist his way out of it.’

‘How can he? We saw him leave.’

‘I saw him leave. You were still asleep.’

‘So? He doesn’t know that. I’ll tell the five-oh I saw him walk away and leave the door open.’

‘He’ll only lie about when he left. He’s got mates that’ll lie for him. It’s what they do, men like him. They gang up on us. And he’ll drag you into it. He’ll get his version out there. Hysterical men-hating women, that’s what we’ll be.’ I dropped my head into my hands.

‘You can’t let him get away with this,’ Scarlett protested. ‘Bastards like him, we need to stand up to them.’

‘Let somebody else do it,’ I said, on the verge of tears. ‘I haven’t got it in me, Scarlett. He’ll win and then I’ll wind up feeling worse. If that’s possible.’

She looked mutinous, but she backed off. ‘You’re coming back to mine, then,’ she said decisively. ‘I’m going upstairs to pack a bag for you. No arguments.’

I sat there, stunned. The wreckage of my home felt like a dark stain inside me, spreading like dirty oil over a warehouse floor, tainting everything in its path. I loved this house and what I’d made of it. And he’d trashed it without a care, all because I’d wounded his precious male pride. How could I have missed this coiled rage lurking inside him? How could I have loved someone with this darkness at his heart?

Eventually, Scarlett reappeared, looking shaken. ‘I sorted out some clothes, and packed up your laptop and all the papers on your desk. Let’s go.’

Numb, I followed her out to the car, pointlessly locking the door behind me. I let Scarlett drive. Traumatised as I was, I still wanted to survive and I knew I wasn’t safe behind the wheel in that state.

Back at the hacienda, she dosed me up with tea and Valium and packed me off to bed. I slept on and off for the best part of twenty hours, and when I re-emerged into consciousness, I felt almost human.

I found Leanne and Scarlett in the kitchen, diaries open on the worktop as they went through their plans for the week. Scarlett leapt up and swept me into her arms. ‘How’re you doing, babe?’

‘Crap. But I’ll live,’ I said, disentangling myself and heading for the coffee machine. ‘I think I need to get a locksmith over there to change the locks. The bastard didn’t have keys before but he might have helped himself to my spares.’

‘No need,’ Leanne said briskly. ‘It’s all sorted.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I got a locksmith out there soon as we got back yesterday,’ Scarlett said. ‘And a professional cleaning crew. You won’t have to look at the state he left your place in again.’

That’s when I finally did cry over what Pete the bastard had done. Looking back at it now, I do take solace from the fact that it was kindness rather than malice that provoked that response.

Pete had done everything in his power to make me doubt the reality of Scarlett’s friendship. If I’d harboured any doubts, they died that morning. I knew Scarlett and I had the kind of bond that makes women friends for life.

I only wish we’d had longer to enjoy it.

25

V
ivian wasn’t much of a homemaker, but even so, she understood the violation Pete Matthews had inflicted on Stephanie. It sounded as if this was a man with a serious axe to grind. The only question was whether he could bear a grudge for four years. ‘I get why you maybe thought going to the police was pointless. But you must have wanted to make him pay for what he did to you?’ she said.

Stephanie sighed. ‘To be honest, what I wanted was to have him gone from my life. I didn’t want to do anything that would prolong my connection to him. It was everybody else that wanted to avenge what he’d done to me. Scarlett, Leanne, Maggie, my other friends. My pal Mike wanted to get a bunch of the lads together and go round to Pete’s. Trash the place and beat the shit out of him. But I put the blocks on that.’ She shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t have made me feel any better. I was determined not to be dragged down to his level. Can you understand that?’

Vivian wasn’t sure whether any law enforcement officer would have felt kinship with Stephanie on that one. ‘I strive for justice in my job,’ she said. ‘I don’t think people who do bad things should walk away scot free.’

‘But shouldn’t the victims have some say in outcomes? I wanted to draw a line under what he did to me. I didn’t want to think about him for one second more than I had to. Any connection to him would have been a bad deal for me. That was my thinking at the time. As it turned out, I probably made the wrong decision. But it was the choice I needed to make then and there for the sake of my own well-being.’

‘I take it that wasn’t the last you heard from Pete?’ Now Vivian could explore what interested her – whether Pete Matthews was the kind of man who would cling to his sense of being wronged down the years.

Stephanie shook her head ruefully. ‘Far from it. I thought he’d vented his feelings and I’d never hear from him again. But he apparently thought we still had unfinished business. After I’d been at Scarlett’s for a couple of days, he started texting me. It was as if nothing had happened. He was talking about work, when he’d be finished for the day, and where should we meet for dinner?’

‘That’s very weird.’

‘You think so?’

Vivian wondered if Stephanie was quite as balanced as she appeared. Not to think Pete Matthews’ follow-up was weird seemed perverse to her. ‘You don’t?’

‘Stop and think for a moment. He didn’t know I’d seen him leave the house with the door standing open. For all he knew, I hadn’t been back there. I assumed he was fishing to see whether I was aware my house had been wrecked and, if so, whether I held him responsible. I mean, he had to be at least a little bit worried that I was going to report him to the police.’

Again, Stephanie had caught her on the back foot. This was one seriously smart woman, Vivian thought. Her stories might be long-winded, but along the way, a lot of useful points got made. ‘That makes sense,’ she acknowledged. ‘What did you do about these texts?’

‘I ignored them. I didn’t read most of them. At first I deleted them, but Scarlett pointed out that if I did have to go to the police, they would be evidence of him hassling me. So I kept them on my phone but I didn’t pay attention to them. Then he started emailing me as well. These hurt, bewildered emails, acting like he didn’t know why I was ignoring him when his only crime was to love me.’ She rolled her eyes and groaned. ‘I’m sure you’ve seen the kind of thing.’

Vivian nodded. She didn’t think it would be helpful to remark that generally she’d viewed them in the aftermath of violent death. ‘I get the picture. And did you call the cops?’

‘I didn’t think there would be any point. On the face of it, there was nothing threatening about his texts and emails. Apart from the sheer volume of them, I suppose. Scarlett said I should talk to the police, but I thought they wouldn’t take me seriously. Because there was no apparent threat.’

‘Did that change?’

‘After he vandalised my home, I stayed at Scarlett’s for four or five days. To be honest, I was dreading going back home. My recollection of what he’d done was too vivid. I couldn’t see a cleaning company doing much to erase that image. But I was wrong. Scarlett hadn’t only got them to clean the place up. One day when I thought she was at the TV studios she’d done a commando raid on John Lewis and Waitrose. Obviously, she hadn’t been able to replicate what I’d lost, but she’d done a bloody good job of finding acceptable replacements. You know that theory the quantum physicists have about multiple universes? Well, when I finally walked back through my front door, it was as if I’d walked into a parallel version of my house. It felt the same, but there were lots of subtle differences. It was very weird. It was only when I went upstairs that I really noticed big differences, because of course Scarlett had never been up there. Her guesswork wasn’t bad, though. Even when she’d gone for something very different from what had been there, she’d chosen things I liked. I was so touched.’

There was no arguing with what Scarlett had done. And Vivian imagined that if Pete had found out, it would have driven him crazy. ‘Did Pete know what she’d done?’

‘I don’t know if he realised it was down to Scarlett, but he was obviously keeping tabs on the place. His emails said things like, “You can try to erase the traces of me from the house, but you can’t erase me from your heart. You know you love me, there’s no escape from that. You can put different paintings on the wall, but I’ll still be the face you see when you close your eyes at night.”’ She closed her eyes momentarily and Vivian could see the strain in her face.

‘You read that one way and it’s incredibly romantic,’ Vivian said. ‘Read it another way and it’s oppressive and threatening. I understand why you felt it might be hard to have people take you seriously. Did you pluck up the courage to move back into your house?’

Stephanie picked at the lip of her cardboard cup. ‘I did. And for a couple of weeks, it was OK. I wasn’t going out much because I was transcribing interviews. When I’m in that phase, I’m very focused on what I’m doing. I sit with my headphones on, oblivious to the outside world. I have my groceries delivered so I don’t have to leave the cocoon of the client’s voice. It’s total immersion.’ Her face relaxed into a smile and Vivian caught a glimpse of how Stephanie must seem when her life was not infested with fear and anxiety. ‘It makes it easier to catch the flavour of their voices when I come to write the book itself. During that period, Pete could have been sitting on my garden wall for hours at a time and I would have been blissfully unaware, sitting up in my little office under the eaves.’

‘Do you think he was?’

The stressed and worried woman was back. ‘Probably,’ she sighed. ‘Well, maybe not sitting on the wall, but certainly driving past several times a day, parking where he could see my house, walking up and down the street. Because those were the things he was doing when I became more aware of my surroundings after I’d finished doing the transcripts. It seemed as though every time I looked out of the window, he was there. Or his car was parked outside the house. I tried hard not to let him stop me going about my normal business. But it was almost impossible. When I left the house, he would fall into step beside me and speak to me. I ignored him but he wouldn’t give up. If I caught the bus or the tube, he was there across the aisle or strap-hanging further down the carriage. One time he even tried to get into a cab with me. I practically had to slam the door shut on his fingers to get him to back off. But that wasn’t the worst. There was one other occasion that really freaked me out.’

‘What happened?’

Stephanie shuddered. ‘You’re going to read more into it than there was. It was me he was trying to get to, not Jimmy.’

‘What happened, Stephanie?’ Now Vivian was warm, slipping effortlessly into woman-to-woman mode to extract more from Stephanie.

‘Scarlett had brought Jimmy into town with her. They’d been to the Natural History Museum to see the dinosaurs, then I met up with them in Regent’s Park. Jimmy was letting off steam in the kids’ playground while we sat on a bench chatting. We had half an eye on Jimmy, the way you do. And we both realised at the same moment that there was a man over by the slide who was having much too much to do with Jimmy. I’d kind of registered the guy and thought he was with a couple of other boys, so I hadn’t really paid attention. But then he turned round and I recognised Pete. With his hair cut short. Looking really different. But clearly Pete.’

‘That must have been horrible. What did you do?’

‘We took off like raging banshees, me and Scarlett. But he only smiled and walked away. Briskly, but nothing that would look suspicious to anyone else. It was as if he’d flicked us the bird. Saying, “I can find you wherever and whenever I want.” It really unnerved me.’

‘Was Jimmy bothered?’

She shook her head. ‘Not in the least. He looked bewildered for a minute when we came running across the playground. Scarlett scooped him up and we took off in the opposite direction. But that was the last straw for me. First I googled stalking to see what remedies I might have. There’s a law, the Protection from Harassment Act, that sounds like it should do the trick. Stalkers, in theory, can face criminal charges or you can take civil proceedings against them. Injunctions and the like. I felt quite cheerful about it. I made an appointment to speak to a police officer at my local station. She was really sympathetic, but the problem was that Pete had been very careful about the content of his texts and emails. He hadn’t done anything in the street that could have been construed as an assault or a threat. At least, not in terms of the criminal law. There was nothing she could do.’

‘Not even a quiet word?’

Stephanie’s mouth twisted in a wry smile. ‘That’s the irony. If the police spoke to Pete without good legal reason, they’d be the ones doing the harassing. It’s crazy, isn’t it?’

Not for the first time, Vivian felt the frustration of due process. But this wasn’t the time or the place to get into that. ‘So there was nothing?’

‘She suggested I talk to a lawyer. The civil courts have a lower standard of proof, you see. So I made an appointment with a lawyer who specialises in this kind of case and it turned out that, even with a lower standard of proof, I didn’t have enough against Pete to take out an injunction. It would have been different if I’d reported the criminal damage to my house when it happened. But her advice was to go away and keep a log of everything he said and did. Then come and see her again for another expensive appointment in three months’ time.’ Stephanie shook her head, wondering. ‘Obviously, she didn’t mention the expense. That was just my cynical take on it. The bottom line was, you’re on your own, sister. The law was not on my side.’

‘I take it he persisted.’

‘He persisted, all right.’