The Vampire Lestat (24 page)

She slipped into my arms. I guided her away from the victim. She glanced back once or twice, then looked straight forward.

“It’s enough for this night. We should go home to the tower,” I said. I wanted to show her the treasure, and just to be with her in that safe place, to hold her and comfort her if she began to go mad over it all. She was feeling the death spasms again. There she could rest by the fire.

“No, I don’t want to go yet,” she said. “The pain won’t go on long, you promised it wouldn’t. I want it to pass and then to be here.” She looked
up at me, and she smiled. “I came to Paris to die, didn’t I?” she whispered.

Everything was distracting her, the dead man back there, slumped in his gray cape, the sky shimmering on the surface of a puddle of water, a cat streaking atop a nearby wall. The blood was hot in her, moving in her.

I clasped her hand and urged her to follow me. “I have to drink,” I said.

“Yes, I see it,” she whispered. “You should have taken him. I should have thought . . . And you are the gentleman, even still.”

“The starving gentleman.” I smiled. “Let’s not stumble over ourselves devising an etiquette for monsters.” I laughed. I would have kissed her, but I was suddenly distracted. I squeezed her hand too tightly.

Far away, from the direction of les Innocents, I heard
the presence
as strongly as ever before.

She stood as still as I was, and inclining her head slowly to one side, moved the hair back from her ear.

“Do you hear it?” I asked.

She looked up at me. “Is it
another one
!” She narrowed her eyes and glanced again in the direction from which the emanation had come.

“Outlaw!” she said aloud.

“What?”
Outlaw, outlaw, outlaw
. I felt a wave of light-headedness, something of a dream remembered. Fragment of a dream. But I couldn’t think. I’d been damaged by doing it to her. I
had
to drink.

“It called us outlaws,” she said. “Didn’t you hear it?” And she listened again, but it was gone and neither of us heard it, and I couldn’t be certain that I had received that clear pulse,
outlaw
, but it seemed I had!

“Never mind it, whatever it is,” I said. “It never comes any closer than that.” But even as I spoke I knew it had been more virulent this time. I wanted to get away from les Innocents. “It lives in graveyards,” I murmured. “It may not be able to live elsewhere . . . for very long.”

But before I finished speaking, I felt it again, and it seemed to expand and to exude the strongest malevolence I’d received from it yet.

“It’s laughing!” she whispered.

I studied her. Without doubt, she was hearing it more clearly than I. “Challenge it!” I said. “Call it a coward! Tell it to come out!” She gave me an amazed look.

“Is that really what you want to do?” she questioned me under her breath. She was trembling slightly, and I steadied her. She put her arm around her waist as if one of the spasms had come again.

“Not now then,” I said. “This isn’t the time. And we’ll hear it again, just when we’ve forgotten all about it.”

“It’s gone,” she said. “But it hates us, this thing . . . ”

“Let’s get away from it,” I said contemptuously, and putting my arm around her I hurried her along.

I didn’t tell her what I was thinking, what weighed on me far more than
the presence
and its usual tricks. If she could hear
the presence
as well as I could, better in fact, then she had all my powers, including the ability to send and hear images and thoughts. Yet we could no longer
hear
each other!

I
FOUND a victim as soon as we had crossed the river, and as soon as I spotted the man, there came the deepening awareness that everything I had done alone I would now do with her. She would watch this act, learn from it. I think the intimacy of it made the blood rush to my face.

And as I lured the victim out of the tavern, as I teased him, maddened him, and then took him, I knew I was showing off for her, making it a little crueler, more playful. And when the kill came, it had an intensity to it that left me spent afterwards.

She loved it. She watched everything as if she could suck up the very vision as she sucked blood. We came together again and I took her in my arms and I felt her heat and she felt my heat. The blood was flooding my brain. And we just held each other, even the thin covering of our garments seeming alien, two burning statues in the dark.

After that, the night lost all ordinary dimensions. In fact, it remains one of the longest nights I have ever endured in my immortal life.

It was endless and fathomless and dizzying, and there were times when I wanted some defense against its pleasures and its surprises, and I had none.

And though I said her name over and over, to make it natural, she wasn’t really Gabrielle yet to me. She was simply
she
, the one I had needed all of my life with all of my being. The only woman I had ever loved.

Her actual death didn’t take long.

We sought out an empty cellar room where we remained until it was finished. And there I held on to her and talked to her as it went on. I told her everything that had happened to me again, in words this time.

I told her all about the tower. I told everything that Magnus had said. I explained all the occurrences of
the presence
. And how I had become almost used to it and contemptuous of it, and not willing to chase it down. Over and over again I tried to send her images, but it was useless. I didn’t say anything about it. Neither did she. But she listened very attentively.

I talked to her about Nicki’s suspicions, which of course he had not
mentioned to her at all. And I explained that I feared for him even more now. Another open window, another empty room, and this time witnesses to verify the strangeness of it all.

But never mind, I should tell Roget some story that would make it plausible. I should find some means to do right by Nicki, to break the chain of suspicions that was binding him to me.

She seemed dimly fascinated by all of this, but it didn’t really matter to her. What mattered to her was what lay before her now.

And when her death was finished, she was unstoppable. There was no wall that she could not climb, no door she wouldn’t enter, no rooftop terrain too steep.

It was as if she did not believe she would live forever; rather she thought she had been granted this one night of supernatural vitality and all things must be known and accomplished before death would come for her at dawn.

Many times I tried to persuade her to go home to the tower. As the hours passed, a spiritual exhaustion came over me. I needed to be quiet there, to think on what had happened. I’d open my eyes and see only blackness for an instant. But she wanted only experiment, adventure.

She proposed that we enter the private dwellings of mortals now to search for the clothes she needed. She laughed when I said that I always purchased my clothes in the proper way.

“We can hear if a house is empty,” she said, moving swiftly through the streets, her eyes on the windows of the darkened mansions. “We can hear if the servants are asleep.”

It made perfect sense, though I’d never attempted such a thing. And I was soon following her up narrow back stairs and down carpeted corridors, amazed at the ease of it all, and fascinated by the details of the informal chambers in which mortals lived. I found I liked to touch personal things: fans, snuffboxes, the newspaper the master of the house had been reading, his boots on the hearth. It was as much fun as peering into windows.

But she had her purpose. In a lady’s dressing room in a large St.-Germain house, she found a fortune in lavish clothes to fit her new and fuller form. I helped to peel off the old taffeta and to dress her up in pink velvet, gathering her hair in tidy curls under an ostrich-plume hat. I was shocked again by the sight of her, and the strange eerie feeling of wandering with her through this overfurnished house full of mortal scents. She gathered objects from the dressing table. A vial of perfume, a small gold pair of scissors. She looked at herself in the glass.

I went to kiss her again and she didn’t stop me. We were lovers kissing. And that was the picture we made together, white-faced lovers, as we rushed down the servants’ stairs and out into the late evening streets.

We wandered in and out of the Opéra and the Comédie before they closed, then through the ball in the Palais Royal. It delighted her the way mortals saw us, but did not see us, how they were drawn to us, and completely deceived.

We heard
the presence
very sharply after that, as we explored the churches, then again it was gone. We climbed belfries to survey our kingdom, and afterwards huddled in crowded coffeehouses for a little while merely to feel and smell the mortals around us, to exchange secret glances, to laugh softly, tête-à-tête.

She fell into dream states, looking at the steam rising from the mug of coffee, at the layers of cigarette smoke hovering around the lamps.

She loved the dark empty streets and the fresh air more than anything else. She wanted to climb up into the limbs of the trees and onto the rooftops again. She marveled that I didn’t always travel through the city by means of the rooftops, or ride about atop carriages as we had done.

Some time after midnight, we were in the deserted market, just walking hand in hand.

We had just heard
the presence
again but neither of us could discern a disposition in it as we had before. It was puzzling me.

But everything around us was astonishing her still—the refuse, the cats that chased the vermin, the bizarre stillness, the way that the darkest corners of the metropolis held no danger for us. She remarked on that. Perhaps it was that which enchanted her most of all, that we could slip past the dens of thieves unheard, that we could easily defeat anyone who should be fool enough to trouble us, that we were both visible and invisible, palpable and utterly unaccountable.

I didn’t rush her or question her. I was merely borne along with her and content and sometimes lost in my own thoughts about this unfamiliar content.

And when a handsome, slightly built young man came riding through the darkened stalls I watched him as if he were an apparition, something coming from the land of the living into the land of the dead. He reminded me of Nicolas because of his dark hair and dark eyes, and something innocent yet brooding in the face. He shouldn’t have been in the market alone. He was younger than Nicki and very foolish, indeed.

But just how foolish he was I didn’t realize until she moved forward like a great pink feline, and brought him down almost silently from the horse.

I was shaken. The innocence of her victims didn’t trouble her. She didn’t fight my moral battles. But then I didn’t fight them anymore either, so why should I judge her? Yet the ease with which she slew the young man—gracefully breaking his neck when the little drink she took was not
enough to kill him—angered me though it had been extremely exciting to watch.

She was colder than I. She was better at all of it, I thought. Magnus had said, “Show no mercy.” But had he meant us to kill when we did not have to kill?

It came clear in an instant why she’d done it. She tore off the pink velvet girdle and skirts right there and put on the boy’s clothes. She’d chosen him for the fit of the clothes.

And to describe it more truly, as she put on his garments, she became the boy.

She put on his cream silk stockings and scarlet breeches, the lace shirt and the yellow waistcoat and then the scarlet frock coat, and even took the scarlet ribbon from the boy’s hair.

Something in me rebelled against the charm of it, her standing so boldly in these new garments with all her hair still full over her shoulders looking more the lion’s mane now than the lovely mass of woman’s tresses it had been moments before. Then I wanted to ravage her. I closed my eyes.

When I looked at her again, my head was swimming with all that we’d seen and done together. I couldn’t endure being so near to the dead boy.

She tied all of her blond hair together with the scarlet ribbon and let the long locks hang down her back. She laid the pink dress over the body of the boy to cover him, and she buckled on his sword, and drew it once and sheathed it again, and took his cream-colored roquelaure.

“Let’s go, then, darling,” she said, and she kissed me.

I couldn’t move. I wanted to go back to the tower, and just be close to her. She looked at me and pressed my hand to spur me on. And she was almost immediately running ahead.

She had to feel the freedom of her limbs, and I found myself pounding after her, having to exert myself to catch up.

That had never happened with me and any mortal, of course. She seemed to be flying. And the sight of her flashing through the boarded-up stalls and the heaps of garbage made me almost lose my balance. Again I stopped.

She came back to me and kissed me. “But there’s no real reason for me to dress that way anymore, is there?” she asked. She might have been talking to a child.

“No, of course there isn’t,” I said. Maybe it was a blessing that she couldn’t read my thoughts. I couldn’t stop looking at her legs, so perfect in the cream-colored stockings. And the way that the frock coat gathered at her small waist. Her face was like a flame.

Remember in those times you never saw a woman’s legs like that. Or the silk of breeches tight over her small belly, or thighs.

But she was not really a woman now, was she? Any more than I was a man. For one silent second the horror of it all bled through.

“Come, I want to take to the roofs again,” she said. “I want to go to the boulevard du Temple. I should like to see the theater, the one that you purchased and then shut up. Will you show that to me?” She was studying me as she asked this.

“Of course,” I said. “Why not?”

W
E HAD
two hours left of the endless night when we finally returned to the Ile St.-Louis and stood on the moonlit quais. Far down the paved street I saw my mare tethered where I’d left her. Perhaps she had gone unnoticed in the confusion that must have followed our departure.