The Truth About Faking (18 page)

He nods. “I never see my dad now. Since the divorce.”

I scoot closer to him and take his hand. “I’m sorry.”

He looks at me and smiles. “It’s not your fault.”

“
I know, but… I don’t know.”

We’re quiet again, and he looks at our hands. He’s really holding mine now, and with his finger he traces a line across the back of it. It feels nice, like we’re making progress.

“
So you must’ve really liked Stephanie,” I say.

“
What? Why do you say that?”

“
I’m sorry!” I squeeze his hand. I’m an idiot! Why would I bring up Stephanie? “You just… you seemed so sad for so long after you guys broke up. I hated seeing you sad.”

He’s quiet, thoughtful. “We dated a while, I guess.”

We’re quiet again, and I bite my lip trying to think of a different topic. What moron brings up an ex-girlfriend on a first date?

“
Remember that day at the gym?” I ask. “Last summer after cheerleading tryouts?”

“
When you hit your head?”

Not that part… “You helped me after I got hurt?”

“
Sure. I was really worried about you. We all were.”

“
I thought it was really cool how you made sure I was okay and carried me inside. Kind of like a hero or something.”

“
I think anybody would’ve done the same thing.”

“
Isn’t that what all the heroes say?” I lean forward to catch his eye.

His face relaxes, and he squeezes my hand. “I’m not a hero, Harley.”

“
Well, you were very sweet. I was upset about tryouts and not making the squad, and you made me feel a lot better. I’ve always wanted to thank you for that. Somehow.”

“
You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad I made you feel better.” He pauses for a beat, thinking. “And I know what it’s like to… well, to not feel good enough.”

My eyebrows pull together. “You do?”

He exhales. “Yeah. I mean, I suck at football, and my dad was always making me play. It was humiliating…”

I bite my lip. I like that we’re getting to know each other better, but if we keep going down this road, I’ll never get that kiss. “Well, you helped me. And I’ve thought you were great. Ever since.”

He smiles back. “You’re pretty great, too.”

Bingo. I scoot even closer and look up at him. Then I slip the tip of my tongue out to moisten my bottom lip. He seems puzzled, so I glance at his mouth. Then I blink my eyes back to his. “I was thinking we might… you know.”

His mouth kind of twitches like he’s unsure, then he leans forward and sighs before slipping his hand behind my head and pulling our mouths together. I’m so ready for electricity, but it doesn’t come. Our lips don’t part, and he just kind of holds me there as if he’s counting in his head or something. My eyebrows pull together, and I try to open my mouth. But at that movement, he releases me and leans back. I look down quickly, completely confused. A hiccup-breath moves through my chest, and for some absurd reason, I want to cry.

“
That was nice,” he says.

I’m lucky my head’s down so he can’t see how my eyes just flew wide. There’s no way he enjoyed that.

“
You ready to head back?”

I nod.

We stand and walk back to the car, and I’m hoping with all my might Ricky’s gone when we get to my house, because I’m ready to run inside and cry myself to sleep.

As we drive back, my mind scrambles for any reason I can find that makes sense. Somehow, someway, something must’ve gone wrong for our special moment to have gone so wrong. Something must’ve messed us up. I’m sure of it. He had to have been distracted. Or maybe I caught him off-guard. Or possibly he was nervous? Maybe he thought I wasn’t the kind of girl who kisses on a first date. Maybe all that parent talk interfered with his game.

We get to my house and thankfully Ricky’s car isn’t there.

“
Let’s do this again sometime,” Trent says as I start to get out.

I glance back at him. Does he want another chance?

“
Okay,” I smile and lean toward him. He leans forward and kisses my cheek.
My cheek?
 

“
Right,” I say, getting back out of the car.

His phone buzzes, and he picks it up quickly. I watch as he glances at the text and for a half-second, he smiles and looks happier than he has all night.

It immediately disappears when he turns back to me. “’Night, Harley,” he says.

I blink and then get out frowning. What was
that
? Clearly there’s someone out there he wanted to hear from tonight. Someone whose lips he might’ve been more excited about kissing.

I walk slowly to the house thinking how this would just make Jason’s day. This whole night would. That was the worst first date in the history of all first dates. I open the front door as tears are stinging in my eyes, but I stop when I hear voices in the living room. It sounds like my parents, so I wait and listen.

“
It just doesn’t look good, Jackie,” My dad says.

“
I know,” Mom says quieter. “But I said he could talk to me whenever he needed to, and I guess he needed to.”

“
At ten o’clock at night?”

“
He’s dealing with a lot right now.”

Finally! My dad’s in on it. He’ll put a stop to all this Ricky nonsense. I open the door and walk inside. My parents stop talking and look at me.

“
How was your date, honey?” Mom smiles.

I decide to skip the gory details and just go to bed. Let them finish getting rid of Ricky.

“
It was okay,” I say.

“
He looked like a very nice young man.”

I shrug and keep walking. Too nice if you ask me. “’Night, guys.”

I go to my room and close the door, hoping that by tomorrow Ricky will be gone and I can figure out what went so wrong with my Mr. Right.

Eleven

The future is never how you think it’ll be. After church, Trent is waiting for me, and he even holds my hand as we walk to the back doors.

“
I was thinking maybe Friday we could do something again,” he says. I look up at his lavender-blue eyes completely confused.

“
Really?” I can’t believe it, but he does seem happier.

Boys can be so confusing sometimes. Maybe I misunderstood the whole evening. Maybe he was upset about something that had nothing to do with me at all. Maybe that text was from his mom offering to get him his own car. Or saying she’d never search his room again.

“
Yeah,” he says. “Mom has her appointment, but—”

“
That’s okay.” I do a little laugh. “I’ll be happy to drive this time. Mom’s SUV is back.”

“
Oh, you don’t have to drive, I just—”

“
I don’t mind. Really. Let me check with my parents, but I’m sure it’ll be okay. I can pick you up at your house.”

“
Um, okay. Like after seven?”

“
Sure,” I say, smiling.  

He holds the door open and says goodbye before trotting off toward his car. I start in the opposite direction toward my mom, but I notice there’s a new addition to the group of ladies typically chatting on the lawn after church. Trent’s mom has joined them, and she’s standing right beside Mrs. Perkins.

“
If it were me, I might feel it’s a bit too…
familiar
,” Mrs. Perkins is saying. Then she clears her throat and emphasizes her words. “Especially since you’re giving him hands-on instruction?”

Mom’s eyes narrow, and she seems angry. “Ricky graduates in four weeks. We’ve reached the point where he doesn’t need direct instruction from me anymore.”

I frown. Mrs. Perkins has never seemed interested in Mom’s students before. I glance at Ms. Jackson and remember her attempts at starting gossip. I also remember how annoyed she was by Mom and Ricky at the game. Now she appears too cozy with Mom’s nemesis.

“
He seems very taken with you,” Ms. Jackson’s smaller voice says. “All he talks about at my appointments is how good you are. As a teacher.”

I feel my heart beating faster as Mrs. Perkins raises her eyebrows. But Mom simply sighs and shakes her head.

“
He was probably just a little nervous. He was having trouble mastering healing touches, and he did say he wasn’t comfortable with end-feel…” She exhales and mutters. “This can’t be interesting to you.”

“
Oh, you’re wrong,” Mrs. Perkins smiles her evil-witch smile. “I find this
very
interesting.”

Mom glances at her, not smiling back. “I’m sure you do.”

“
And how does Dr. Andrews feel about you working with Ricky on, what is it? End-touching?” Mrs. Perkins’ eyes are sparkling. She actually looks giddy. I feel nauseated.

“
That’s not the correct phraseology,” Mom says, her annoyance apparent. “It’s end-feel, and it refers to the joints and range of motion.”

“
I’m so sorry.” Mrs. Perkins tries to act like it was simply an innocent mistake. As if anybody’s buying that.

“
Stuart is very supportive of my mentoring a student every year,” Mom continues. “He approves of whoever the college sends me.”

“
That sounds convenient,” Mrs. Perkins says. I wonder where Mrs. Bender is. She normally jumps in and defends Mom in situations like these.

“
Well, I won’t keep you from your lunch,” Mrs. Perkins says. “Come along, Sandra.”

Mrs. Perkins takes Ms. Jackson’s arm, and the two ladies walk toward the car where Trent is waiting, looking at his phone. I turn to my mom and she’s biting the inside of her cheek. Her eyes are somewhere else, thinking, and she touches my arm for a moment but doesn’t look at me.

“
Harley, I’m going to find your dad,” she says.

“
Sure, but I—” Too late. She’s gliding back toward the front of the church clearly irritated and not listening to me.

I decide not to wait and start walking to my house alone. Now I’m really worried. The way Mom and Ricky acted at the game might’ve been overlooked by parishioners who’ve grown accustomed to Mom’s annual student trainees, people who once upon a time saw no evil. But after the fallout from Shelly’s dad and how surprised everyone was by his affair, it seems anything’s possible now. Ms. Jackson’s suspicions might’ve seemed outrageous before last summer, but now it won’t take much for her insinuations to lodge in everyone’s minds. And then what?

For that matter, what
is
going on with Ricky? Their behavior is suspicious and it isn’t right for him to be at my house at odd hours alone with my mother. My phone goes off as I approach home. It’s Shelly. I sit on the front steps to talk to her.

“
Oh my god oh my god oh my god!” She’s gushing.

“
What?” I mumble.

“
Jason kisses like… oh my god, I just can’t even describe it,” My stomach does a clench. This is not what I want to hear right now.

“
So you kissed him?” I try to sound enthused and fail.

“
Mm-hm and it was heh-van!” she sings.

I feel even more ill. “That’s nice,” I say.

“
It was more than nice. It was hot.”

“
Okay! Well, great.” I try to think up an excuse to get off the phone.

“
So what happened with Trent?” she asks.

“
Oh, we went down to the creek and sat and talked.”

“
That sounds about right.” I can hear Shelly rolling her eyes through the phone. “And?”

“
And he kissed me.”

“
What?” Shelly shrieks. “I don’t believe it.”

“
Believe it.”

“
And?” she waits. “Were there sparks?”

“
There was something.” I leave off the part about having to work for it. Or about how it felt like he was doing mental math.

“
Something like sparks?”

“
He asked me out again for Friday!” I try to sound optimistic. There’s no way I can tell Shelly what really happened. At least not until I understand what happened.

“
Well, I’ve got to hand it to you. I’m very impressed. I tried everything.”

“
So are you going out with Jason again?”

“
I don’t know,” she sounds discouraged. “He didn’t say, and I figured I should let him ask me for once.”

I look up and speak of the devil. “Well, you never know. Hey, I gotta run.”

We disconnect, and Jason’s standing there in front of me. He wasn’t in church this morning, so while I’m in my Sunday best, he’s in his usual jeans and a t-shirt.

“
So?” he asks.

“
So what?” I frown up at him.

He smiles then. “Doxology go okay?”

“
Of course.”

I get up from where I’ve been sitting on the front steps, and we walk a few paces in silence. I notice his car’s parked up ahead.

“
That was Shelly,” I say.

“
Oh, yeah?” He’s just the slightest bit squirmy.

“
Yes. She was very happy about last night.”

“
She’s very… determined.”

“
Sounds like you got over me and Trent fast enough.”

Jason stops walking and turns to face me. “Look, Shelly’s okay, but you know how I feel.”

I look at him. For a second I have the most overwhelming urge to kiss him
.
 

“
I’m going out with him again Friday,” I say instead.

“
So you think it’s going somewhere?”

“
What’s that supposed to mean?”

“
You and this Trent guy. You think something’s going to happen?”

“
I don’t know. But I’m going to give him a chance.”