The Troubadour's Romance (16 page)

Vespera stared for a moment, wondering first whether he should be allowed to consummate the marriage privately, then whether she dared leave Felise alone with him.
“
The custom
--
”
she began.

“
There has been nothing of custom thus far,
”
he said flatly.
“
There were no violets and green herbs for my lady to walk upon, nor jugglers nor minstrels nor acrobats. Our contracts were not drawn, nor were there documents from her father or the king.
”
He paused and glared down on the nervous Vespera, eyes glittering with impatience.
“
I
’
ll bed the lass in private ... or not at all.
”

She looked around and noted that his men had already accepted his dismissal and, however disappointed they were
that they would have no chance for jesting and crude remarks, would not press him further. Vespera quickly withdrew, Daria and Isabel fast behind her.

Royce closed the door and barred it, making it clear he would allow no intrusion. He blew out two candles and leisurely approached the frightened creature in the bed. He had not considered what his break from ritual might cause her to think.

“
Do you mean to harm me, monseigneur?
”
she asked.

“
Nay, maid. You are a virgin?
”

“
You need not doubt my chastity, my lord. There has been no one to tread where you will.
”

“
You are afraid?
”

She swallowed hard.
“
I am not a brave woman, but I do not fear you,
”
she attempted.

He smiled down at her, an almost gentle expression on his face.
“
We
’
ll have it done, Felise. I am not the heathen you judge me to be.
”

She would have opened her mouth to deny it, but he turned from her and extinguished the other candles. He removed himself to a distant corner of the room to disrobe and returned to the bed, slipping in and drawing the covers over them both. His hands instantly grasped the shoulders of her gown to draw it down over her breasts. She gasped at the quickness of his work and heard his amused chuckle.
“
Y
ou would find it burdensome, che
rie,
”
he said, swiftly pulling her into his embrace.

In naught but darkness, the fire providing only the meekest glow on the other side of the room, she was left to know him only as a warm shadow. They met skin against skin, his chest crushing her breasts, his hands roving up and down her back, pressing her so close that she feared she would not be able to draw her next breath. His lips instantly took hers. She was awed by the heat of his body, the strength and size of his hands, and her surprising lack of fear. It was perhaps the movements of his hands and body that lulled her, he seemed to expect nothing of experience from her, but went about his business with great confidence. There was an odd quickness within her that prompted her stom
ach to nip at her heart.

“
Fair
Felise
,
”
he muttered hoarsely, kissing her ear, neck, shoulder.
“
You play the woman
’
s game well
... men are driven to battle to have you. Come, v
ixen, if you yield, show me ..
.
”
He took her hand and led it to his chest, showing her how to stroke him with the same familiarity he used on her. She clenched her eyes tightly shut, and though no one could see, her cheeks flamed. She shyly touched him as he would have her do, gasping in spite of herself when her hand found the swollen member that would end her maidenhood.

His breathing quickened and he pressed her down into the bed, kissing her now with renewed passion. He tugged at the gown to have it gone. His lips and hands boldly caressed her body; no part of her was to be left untouched. She gritted her teeth in apprehension and wondered how she would have endured this mating with spectators.

Slowly, from a deep place within her, she felt a new warmth. She trembled as a strange yearning possessed her; she leaned into his touch rather than steeling herself against it. She met his mouth with hers and held him closer, confused by her bizarre change of feelings but helpless to stop them. The heat of his skin against hers no longer felt alien. To the contrary, she thought she might suffer cold devastation if he released her.

He murmured her name, his voice thick and heavy in her ear, and she gave herself over to the rising passion. She yielded to him completely, feeling his hands demandingly grasp her hips. She craved more of him, hungry for his thrusts. Then the pain, blinding in its suddenness, caused her to arch in unconcealed anguish.

“
Easy, my love,
”
he consoled, his breath rasping with his efforts.

Felise fell back into the bed, unmindful of his restrained movements. As the pain ebbed, she was aware of him again, cautiously commanding her body. But the irrepressible hunger was gone and she simply moaned her distress, humiliated by her earlier abandon.

When he had exhausted himself, he gently kissed her cheek.
“
You need not fear more pain,
Felise
.
”

He rolled away from her and lay on his back. Within moments his breathing fell even and calm and she consid
ered his presence beside her.
What demon did he command,
she wondered,
to possess her so completely, then turn away from her so easily?
Was a man
’
s life little changed by the heated coupling, while a woman
’
s whole world was traded for a new one?

It seemed hours that she lay quietly thinking on this. The fire burned low, leaving only a few orange coals to glitter in the dark. Her voice was the quietest murmur.
“
Do you sleep, messire?
”

There was no response for a long moment, then he stirred slightly.
“
Nay.
”

She sighed heavily, feeling tears begin to threaten.
“
I am sorry you were forced to wed me, my lord, but
--
”

“
We share a bed, Felise. Can you not use my name?
”
he asked testily.

She choked on a sob at the sound of his impatient voice.
“
Royce ..
.
”
she sighed, a tear sliding down her temple into her hair.

“
So on this day we were both forced. I will hold no grudge against you;
‘
twas little of your making.
”

Her heart ached with the desire to feel the gentleness of his arms about her again, if not to hear a kind tone in his voice. She had transcended passion and craved a softer touch, an earnest word.
“
Will we leave here soon?
”
she asked.

“
Aye. To Segeland. Tis a sorry keep.
”
He sighed as if greatly disgruntled by her questions.
“
It needs a woman
’
s hand.
”

“
I will try to please you, Royce,
”
she said, humbling herself and seeking some favor in his eyes.

He turned his face toward her.
“
You have not disap
pointed me thus far, madam. But then, I knew you were not shy.
”

Her cheeks grew hot with shame, but she spoke anyway.
“
Will you hold me as a cherished wife, or spurn me with chastisement because of the king
’
s choice?
”

“
Do not needle me, Felise. The hour is too late for senseless bickering.
”

She bit her lip for a moment, but proceeded bravely.
“
Did you love the lady Celeste very much?
”
she asked.

“
Do you wish to please me, Felise?
”
he asked shortly.

“
If it is possible,
”
she murmured.

“
Then go to sleep. That would please me.
”

She sank back into the pillows slowly, carefully turning onto her side away from him. Her tears wet the linen, but she was mournfully silent. The hearth was cold and dark before she found sleep.

Seven

Royce could not sleep. The warmth of Felise beside him caused such a burden of conflicting feelings that he was plagued most of the night.

She had not fought his advances, which made him most grateful. Facing her scorn would have destroyed his pride and he would have been hard put to finish the deed. It was a curse he lived with; he was most shy of the mark on his back. When he was a small boy and his mother had ridiculed him because of it and his brothers had laughed at him, he had developed a genuine belief that he was repul
sive. While most highborn knights and lords sought the services of helpmates in bathing and dressing, Royce de
manded his privacy.

He had wanted her again within moments, but he steeled himself against his baser urgings. She might be considered beyond the age of marrying, but Royce was over three decades and found her youth almost alarming. He had not known many young women, his tastes running more toward women of experience who would not force any commitment ... or Celeste. And though he wished to hold her, when she turned away from him and softly wept, he gave her exactly what he thought she required of him: distance.

It seemed an eternity before he suspected she slept. When she was still and her breathing even, he let himself stroke the soft mound of her curving hip. He gently moved close to her, rounding her turned back and resting his face in the sweet fragrance of her witch
’
s locks.

Her softness beneath him had ripped him open with the sharpness of a knife, and his soul lay bare before him. She could not possibly have known the many things he had to reckon with because of her. That he had just had his first virgin was the most startling of these. There was little doubt now that Celeste had played him false. Oh, that humble dame had moaned her misery and there had been blood, but there was considerable difference between sound and physi
cal evidence and what a man feels. He was aware of his terse response when Felise asked if he had loved Celeste a great deal. He made a mental promise to share the truth about that with her one day.

Although he felt he had no right to be angry with Celeste
--
for he had played his affections on her for years without giving her the security of marriage
--
he did quite easily let go of his guilt at having abandoned her for
Felise
. He lived easier with that decision now.

But as he lay beside his wife, the overwhelming concern that robbed him of sleep was whether she would continue to hate and fear him. If a child, marked by the Leighton curse, came to her, would she thrust it away in contempt? When she saw the ruinous Segeland, would she rot in misery? He had touched her warm skin and known every turn and curve of her body, but he knew her not at all. His experience of her went only as far as her flirtations at court, her anxious appraisal of him, and the sharp crack of her hand against his cheek when he
’
d told her they were to be wed.

And I,
he thought,
who would like to hold her fiercely, closing my hands around her that she cannot flee and no other can ever touch her, tremble in the fear that she will turn into a thistle in my grasp.

His mother had been a beautiful and sensual creature, but her disposition was that of an asp. He conceded that his mother had good reason for her madness, but he took a startling new look at his father. Had that old dragon felt
love so penetrating and passion so blinding that he could do nothing but cleave the woman to him, whether she shared the passion or not? Royce wondered at his ability to do things any differently. He could not imagine letting
Felise
go, and at the merest thought of another man even looking at her, his blood began to boil. Yet ogle her they would, for her beauty was uncommon. And he considered himself large and strong, but far from handsome.

He sighed heavily and, kissing her gently on the cheek, rose from her side. He dressed in the dark, assured himself that she was covered against the chill, and went to the stable. He hung a lantern and began to curry the horses, first his steed and then some of the others. He had wiled away a few hours when the sun came up, but so heavy were his thoughts that he hardly noticed the time. What bridegroom, he thought ruefully, looks for the peace of labor on his wedding night? One fearful of his bride
’
s gaze on his naked flesh, terrified at seeing disgust etched in her beautiful eyes.

When he heard the reigning cock of the yard give his rising crow, he ventured from the stable and up the stairs to the house. He would not leave her embarrassed before her morning maids by his absence. But upon entering the room, he found her gone. The coverlet was pulled back from the bed and her gown lay in a heap in the center. He winced slightly at what Vespera would consider proper evidence of the consummation; it appeared more as some human sacri
fice to him. He had passed no other early risers in the house and could not guess where she might have gone.

He went to the window and threw open the shutters, scanning the grounds with an almost frantic feeling rising in his chest. But he quickly spied her. Some distance from the house, her fur-lined cloak held tightly about her, she occu
pied the same stump he had visited the day before, sitting there alone and gazing into the dense trees. With a great feeling of relief, he closed the shutters and hastened out of the room.

“
Felise
?
”
he gently queried when he was close behind her.

She jumped, startled by his voice, and rose and turned quickly to face him. She looked at him for only a moment and, when she saw the perplexed look on his face, gave a
small sob and was in his arms. He hardly knew how to react to her, nor could he fathom the reason for her upset. But tears stained her cheeks and she clung to him.

“
Quiet now, lady,
”
he said gently.
“
Here now, what grieves you so this early morning?
”
He held her away from him and lifted her chin.
“
I know it is not always a pleasant thing for a maid, but surely I did not hurt you so badly as all that.
”

Crimson began to mark her cheeks, although she quickly shook her head to reassure him.
“
I thought you had gone,
”
she said, her voice quivering.

“
Gone?
”
he questioned.
“
Where?
”

She meant to answer, but her chin only quivered pitifully and great tears filled her eyes. He chuckled in spite of himself, rather taken with her childlike misery at the prospect of his leaving.

“
I couldn
’
t sleep,
”
he laughed.
“
Some vixen of my wedding night plagued even my dreams and I was faced with two choices: to wake you and demand more of the same, or leave to seek out the coolness of a winter moon.
”

She looked up at him, her tears abating some small bit, and tried to brave a smile.

“
Now,
”
he said.
“
Where did you think I would go?
”

Felise
shrugged and looked down.
“
I
... I thought you
’
d left and would simply
have your men deliver me to my
--
your home.
”

“
God
’
s blood, madam, you truly think me a beast. I know I lack much of the cocky courtier, Felise, but you do me wrong. I have not been so cruel.
”

She shook her head, still looking down. Again he lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“
If I give you my word that you will have fair notice of my travels, will you rest easier?
”
She nodded, her expression easing almost immediately.
“
Now what other things must I promise to give you peace of mind?
”

“
Naught, my lord. But ..
.
”
She nearly lost her nerve, but he would not release her chin and nodded sternly for her to continue.
“
It is only ... my lord, you frown so.
”

Royce threw back his head in spontaneous, genuine laughter. He could barely control his mirth and received
only an embarrassed flush from her.
“
I swear,
Felise
, it is more the surly set of my jaw and this unsightly scar that make me seem so, not my poor humor.
”

“
You frighten a maid with your black looks,
”
she said quietly, trying to defend herself.

He chuckled still, fixing his features in a determined scowl, showing her just how grim and foolish he could be. She laughed lightly, her red-rimmed eyes taking on some of their usual liveliness.
“
There, I thought I could chase a smile out of you. You should smile as often as you can,
Felise
,
”
he said, stroking her hair with his hand.
“
Though I concede that you probably have great cause for your tears. Not many maids are ordered by a king to take a brutish and ugly master to their beds.
”

She let her hand rise and lie firmly on his chest. She wished to reassure him, but the words came hard.
“
I did not know the trouble my dowry would cause, my lord
--
Royce. My mother wished it to be good fortune for my future ... to bring only the best nobles to my attention. I do not complain.
”

“
Nonetheless, you were ordered
--
a stolen bride. I admit it is a difficult burden ... when you wanted someone else.
”

It was in her mind to tell him she wanted no man, but for some reason it was not her wants or lack of them that came to mind, but his.
“
Celeste is a lovely woman. I understand that you would be very disappointed.
”

He could hardly prevent the drawing together of his brows and the hard line his lips made. The thought of Celeste so early this morning would get no gentler reaction from him. Deep in the night while lying beside his bride, he had been given to wondering how different his life would have been spent beside that slim-flanked dame. And she had very nearly had him; he had never thought beyond marriage to her.

“
Felise
, ours is not the first marriage of necessity, nor will it be the last. I have little doubt there will be difficult times for us. But I am a man to honor whatever vows I make, no matter the circumstances. Of that you can be sure.
”

She felt her stomach plummet suddenly. But she immedi
ately tried to bear the weight of this admission more lightly
and make the same commitment to him. Although it was hard for her, she reminded herself that if he was a good husband and treated her with some kindness, she could ask for little more.
“
I will likewise abide by my vows, Royce,
”
she said softly, hoping she would not cry.

“
‘
Tis good,
”
he said with a nod of his head.
“
If you are troubled,
Felise
, it is my desire that you bring your miseries to the fore rather than fleeing into the wood in the early dawn. I think the worst I could deal you would be safer than your wandering about alone.
”

She nodded.
“
You are not angry?
”
she asked rather timidly.

He smiled quite easily, and she decided that whether or not she was loved, his smile gave her some reassurance.
“
Only a little, madam. As if it were not enough that I had to worry about those who might, in their addled ways, try to steal you away against the king
’
s intention, I now must worry that you will fly. You have lightened my load with your word.
”

“
My lord, I do not seek to be a greater burden than you already bear. I will not try to escape you. As with you, Henry
’
s command is my father
’
s choice for me and I will abide his decision. If you wake some morning and find me gone, it will not be of my doing.
”
She paused and looked up at him earnestly. She believed he was suspicious of her still
--
the same suspicion he had had when she
’
d played with his men from her window and when he
’
d found her alone in the gallery. The hardest challenge, she believed, would be in showing him her loyalty.
“
Do you believe me?
”
she asked.