The Tragedy of Loving Jamie Clarke (3 page)

“I’ve got to go,” I stammer as I start to walk away.

“Wait, seriously, are you sure you’re okay?” Jamie asks.

I smile and nod as I head down the hallway toward my locker. I’ve never had a guy come to my defense before especially not one I just met. I want to get out of here and find Amber.

“I’m fine,” I shout.

“April,” Jamie starts but I raise my hand for him to stop.

“I promise. I’m good. You think I can’t handle a couple of freshmen boys making immature jokes at my expense? I’ve heard it all before.”

What a load of crap. This is what I was afraid of when I first became bound to this brace, but I didn’t expect it to hurt as much. I want to crawl under my covers and stay there until Dr. Meresh tells me I no longer have to wear this cage.

“Well, then I think you’re stronger than those guys realize, April Marks!” He winks at me and disappears into the gym.

~4~

I run through the wave of students rushing to get to their next classes. I feel like I’m running through an obstacle course of book bags and bodies.

“Hey, watch it!” says one tall blond girl as I breeze by her and accidentally knock into her.

“Sorry!” I shout as I continue to make my way through the sea of students. I see Amber at the end of the hall digging through her locker. I push past the remainder of students in my way and I’m panting by the time I reach her.

“Damn Ape, where’s the fire?” Amber says as she shoves a few books into her locker.

“Jamie. That’s the new boy you were talking about. I met him, he’s gorgeous and he wants to hang out with me, but obviously I said no,” I blurt out louder than I had wanted and Charlie Hanss, who happens to be passing by with a group of friends, gives me a playful wink.

Amber grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me. “What! Are you serious? What’s he like? Is he as beautiful as I thought? And why the hell would you say no!” Amber says excitedly.

“Charlie heard me! I feel bad now,” I say to Amber, who scoffs.

“Who cares, Ape, he’s your ex and that was in middle school.”

Amber is right about Charlie, but I still have guilt for hurting him the way I did. We had a messy break up and didn’t speak for almost a year but what could I do? He was always way more into me than I ever was into him.

“Why did you say no? Did you have a stroke or something?” Amber asks, as she zips her bag closed. 

“Shh! Keep your voice down, I don’t want the entire school knowing my business.”

She slams her locker shut and grabs my arm with her free hand and pulls me down the hall toward the only class the three of us have together, Science. She’s practically buzzing. Amber has always found my love life, or lack thereof, more interesting than her own.

“No, I didn’t have a stroke,” I reply as we enter the empty classroom, which is three rows of desk chairs, a chalkboard and a wooden desk up front for the teachers, an American flag hanging over the door and fluorescent ceiling lights that constantly flicker.

Some of the rooms at Perkins are so similar that if you accidentally walk into the wrong class you wouldn’t know it until the teacher began his or her lesson (yes, I have done this a few times before).

“Then why would you say no? He’s beautiful and he seems normal enough,” Amber whines as she slides into the desk chair next me.

“Because, why would he want me, of all people, to show him around?”
              “Oh God here we go!” Amber waves a fist in the air.

“Excuse me?” I cross my arms and stand facing her.

Amber, always being dramatic, slaps her hand against her forehead and proceeds to bang it on the desk.

“You always do this. Every time a guy expresses any interest in you, you run the opposite direction. You second guess yourself and think he’s only asking out of pity or on a dare or something.”

Even though she’s right, I play dumb. “What are you talking about? I don’t do that.”

“Oh come on, April, you do too and you know it. Need I bring up Kyle Wells? He obviously liked you. He followed you everywhere and asked you out almost every day but you refused to believe it so you turned him down and then what happened? He moved and you lived with the regret of saying no for almost a year. Do you really want to make the same mistake again?”

“Come on. Look at me. There is no way he is remotely interested.”

Amber is using her wispy serious voice, something I’m not used to. “Why, because you have to wear a back brace?”

“Come on, Ape, be realistic,” Amber says, as she pulls her copy of
Science: A Beginning,
out of her bag.

“I am being realistic. It is all I have been since my brace was upgraded.” 

When Dr. Meresh showed me the new, “high-profile,” brace for the first time and explained how it would work I “realistically” realized this new brace wouldn’t be as easy to hide as the last one, the one without this neck halo. I’ve been realistic since a little boy in town pointed at me and said to his mother, “Mommy, what’s wrong with that girl?”

“There’s no way, Amber. Especially not after what those freshman boys said right in front of him.”

Amber throws her hand up and her eyes bug out of her head more than they already do. “Whoa! Those jerks said something to you again? I swear I am going to kick their little asses!”

I giggle. “That’s exactly what I had to stop Jamie from doing.” Amber grabs my arm and slaps it until it stings. “Ouch! What the hell?”

“You’re telling me the hot, gorgeous, new boy came to your rescue like a Disney prince and you still said no to hanging out?” Now Amber is not going to let it go. “Oh. My. God. Ape. He didn’t ask you to sleep with him, he asked you to show him around. Besides if you don’t go I will make you listen to a 24-hour N’sync marathon.”

No! Not N’sync! I have been loyal to the Backstreet Boys ever since mom took me to see them in concert a few years ago. She had won tickets from our local radio station and thought I could use the pick-me-up. After some convincing I agreed to go and my life changed. The boys soared on stage and made me feel like they understood everything I was going through. I know it’s crazy but I felt like they were singing right to me and I was hooked.

Although boy bands once dominated the music scene, the once heated rivalry between the Backstreet Boys fans and N*sync fans does not exist simply because neither group is relevant anymore. Still, I remain a loyal fan of the boys from Orlando and for me, listening to N’sync is not only against the rules it is torture for a true Backstreet Boys devotee. Amber is playing dirty.

As much as I don’t want to give in, I refuse to betray my boys.

              “
Fine
, I’ll find him at lunch and tell him” I reply.

“Aww, my little girl is growing up,” Amber hugs my arm and bats her eyelashes.

Amber Hills has been my best friend since forever. Our parents work at The Anchor, the best resort hotel in town with an unbeatable view of the ocean. Our mothers became pregnant around the same time and we often joke that we’re twins just not with the same blood or looks. I mean I was born only a few minutes before Amber. Our personalities however, couldn’t be more different. I don’t enjoy the party scene and Amber basically lives in it, occasionally dragging me out from time-to-time and only when she plays the, “Come on Ape you’re my best friend you
have
to come with me,” guilt card. Amber is into sports and is the captain of the girls’ lacrosse team whereas I don’t partake in any after school activities, other than visiting the Perkins Harbor Library and taking out a few literary masterpieces like
Pride and Prejudice, Little Women,
and
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
. Despite our differences, Amber has been rock solid throughout this whole scoliosis ordeal and I don’t think I would be able to handle it without her.

I slap Amber’s arm as Mr. Marshall walks in with the rest of the class following behind him. Science is my least favorite subject and today I hate it even more because it is the class that is separating me from an hour of freedom during lunch.

The bell chimes after what has felt like an entire day of discussing how the reproductive system works. I thought this was a topic designated for senior year Health Class. I really don’t feel comfortable hearing my teacher, a male teacher no less, describing in detail how sex works. I have already had that conversation with my parents and that was bad enough.

“I bet I know who you pictured during Mr. Marshall’s lecture,” Amber boasts as we file out of the classroom.

“
Shut up
,” I give her a good nudge so she falls into Dustin Haines who squeals like a pig. “Not everyone thinks about sex all the time, Amber.”

She laughs off my attempt to call her out on her sexcapades and pulls me through the mass of students all heading toward the cafeteria.

The clamor of hungry teenagers gnaws at my nerves and I am freaking out. I told Amber I would find Jamie at lunch and agree to show him around but now that lunch has come I’m wishing I had more time.

The cafeteria is packed and the line for food is halfway out the door. I guess I will have to wait for my day-old pizza. The room is vibrant and alive and I can’t make out any of the nonsensical chatter except for the one going on next to me between Liza Blake and her boyfriend, Jeremy Klein.

“I saw you talking to Ashley. I thought you were over her,” Liza says accusingly.

“I am. She was asking for the notes from class since she came late, that’s all,” Jeremy replies defensively.

“Oh please, Jeremy, you don’t think I know what’s really going on? I’m not dumb,” Liza retorts, to which I have to keep myself from laughing.

Liza Blake takes the meaning of “dumb blonde” to a whole other level. But her brain isn’t why Jeremy is with her. Liza struts around school like a Victoria’s Secret model walking the runway and doesn’t believe in waiting until the fourth date before sleeping with a guy. Although I’ve often envied her beauty, I’d rather be the plain girl with chocolate hair, dark eyes and flat lips than a girl who has guys drooling over themselves to get to her because she is “easy.”

As entertaining as it is to stand here and listen to their ridiculous argument I am on a mission. I have to find Jamie. Usually Amber and I will spend the lunch hour gossiping but today Amber is avoiding me. How do I know? She just brushed by me and winked. She knows my mission and she is determined to make sure I stay on course. Why did I ever agree to this nonsense?

“You have been here before, haven’t you?” Jamie asks, sneaking up behind me.

I whirl around and hope that seeing him a second time will make him less attractive. Nope! He makes the tray of old pizza and flat soda look tasty. He licks his bottom lip and I am wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Yeah, because this is helping to calm my nerves, nicely done.

“Why? Do you need me to show you around the cafeteria too?” I joke.

“Well, I might. After all you never know what might happen should I be left to fend for myself,” he replies.

Well if you’re that at risk for damage you might want to hire yourself a tour guide,
which is something Amber would want me to say and but knows I never would. He nudges me and winks. Oh God, I hope he doesn’t feel the brace. Since the plastic wraps around my back and torso I can hide it somewhat with clothing but I can’t do anything about people feeling it when they touch me. I miss the old brace. The one without the metal bars that might as well be flashing neon colors with all the attention they’ve attracted. The old brace sucked but at least with that one I didn’t feel like I was a monster waiting to be taken out by the townspeople. Why did my stupid back have to keep curving?

I don’t want to be one of those people who give themselves a pep talk to ease their nerves but I can’t help it.
He is just a boy. Albeit the most gorgeous boy you’ve ever seen but still, just a guy.

“You could get lost but you would probably find your way since this town is pretty small.”

I realize his question was rhetorical and not an actual question. He smiles the way you’d smile at someone who has brain damage, cautiously.

I turn around to walk away but see Amber waving at me like she’s shooing away a stray dog. If I go back to the table without making plans with Jamie I’ll never hear the end of it and I’ll be suffering through hours of N*sync and I think that might be worse than embarrassing myself in front of the new boy.

“You don’t get many newcomers here, do you?” Jamie asks, as he pulls a piece of cheese off the pizza and shoves it in his mouth.

I grab a grilled cheese sandwich from under the heat lamps and pull some money from my bag as we reach the cash register.

“That will be $5.74,” an elderly lady with hair netting says to me.

Before I have a chance to hand her the money Jamie launches his arm in front of me and hands the woman a $20 dollar bill. “This should cover both of us,” he says.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I say as I stare at the soggy sandwich on my tray. 

“Sure I did, because now you have to show me around as thank you,” he says as, he takes a sip of soda. “Come on, April. What’s the harm in showing the new guy around?”

“Don’t you see it?”

“See what?”

“These,” I tug at the metal surrounding my neck.

“Yes I see them. So what?”

He isn’t even looking at them, it's like they aren’t there. ”Don’t they scare you?”

Jamie smiles and leans into me. “The only thing that scares me is driving right into the Atlantic because
someone
won’t show me around this strange little town.”

From the looks of it most of the girls in here would happily volunteer to show him around, they’re staring at him like he’s Channing Tatum, but he wants to spend time with
me
? This is surreal but Amber hasn’t left me much of a choice.

I take a deep breath; close my eyes and say, “Okay.”