The Toll (60 page)

Time had just run out.

Running, I tripped over a sheet,
crying out as I hit the floor.

“
Mine!” Troll stooped over
me, hunching, head jerking as the babe’s wail finally caught his
attention. Growling low, he froze.

“
NO!”

Snuffling loud, Troll shot up and
stormed past me, eyes wide and flaming, orange licking his black
irises like fire.

“
No!” Gripping his leg, I
held on tight, grunting when he flicked me off as if I was nothing
but a nat, sending me tumbling. The baby was screaming his head off
at this point, blankets kicked loose on his little body. I threw
myself on Troll’s back, beating at him fiercely with clenched fists
as I screamed obscenities, telling him exactly what I’d do to him
if he dared harm a hair on my baby’s head.

Troll froze at the sight of the
infant, sucking in a sharp breath. Hopping off his back, I
scrambled around him, hovering over the little crate bed
protectively.

“
Don’t you touch him! I
mean it! I’ll murder you!”

Troll fell to his knees with a soft
chuff, shoulders slumping, and just stared. As the little one’s
arms and legs flailed and he squalled with all his might, the fight
went right out of him.

Ignoring him, I snatched the babe up,
hugging him close. Baby tucked into my side, I scooted back across
the bed, hoping to reach the other side. Troll’s hand on my ankle,
grip steely and tight, prevented that.

“
Stay.
Bleedin’.”

I was bleeding, naturally, and quite a
bit, my borrowed, flowing white shirt stained crimson along the
bottom, dripping crimson around the hem. Knowing I couldn’t fight
him, even at full strength, I settled uneasily, focusing on calming
the baby.

Watching Troll warily from my
peripherals as he just sat there, hunched at the side of the end of
the bed, fingernails digging into my ankle, staring, I exposed my
right breast, cuddled the babe to it, and let him feed. Mewling
hungrily, his little fingers gripped and squeezed, lips latching on
immediately.

Head cocking from side to side in a
very hawk-like, animalistic manner, eyes still bottomless pits of
black, Troll was still more animal than man, staring at the small
baby curiously.

“
Name,” he growled softly,
adjusting his knees to lean forward.

“
I-I hadn’t decided yet.”
Tense, my hands tightened and I leaned farther away, the baby
fidgeting, my nipple popping loose as he lost his grip, wailing
softly.

Jerking back, Troll grunted, waiting
until I’d settled my son again to lean back in. A low, soothing hum
vibrated Troll’s chest as I placed him to my other breast. Troll
reached out a hand slowly, uncertain, fingertips brushing a tiny
foot. Tilting his head again, he sniffed loudly, the humming
growing louder and louder.

“
Calder,” Troll snarled
softly, staring at my distended nipple when the babe had finally
finished with it, burping easily when I put the little one to my
shoulder.

Risking a peek at Troll, I eyed him,
still shocked silly, his humming croon vibrating the bed as he
leaned forward on bent elbows.

“
Calder,” he said
again.

“
I don’t... I don’t know
what that means,” I murmured softly, scared of upsetting him, voice
barely above a whisper.

Reaching up to brush a hand over the
baby’s cheeks, he murmured, “Calder, mine.”

“
Calder? The
baby?”

“
Calder mine,” he brushed
his cheek again, then, gaze intent on mine, eyes less dead, a hint
of life peeking through, “Calder Gersthart’s.” The words were
spoken slowly, as if hard to get out, but there was a possessive
edge to them that had my heart rate kicking up.

“
The baby is mine.” My
rebuke was gentle, but I wanted to make sure we were very clear
here.

“
Nugget baby.” He nodded.
“Calder mine.” I didn’t know if he quite understood, but wasn’t
willing to push.

Reaching out as if to touch me,
chuffing heavily under his breath, I closed my eyes and waited,
knowing this was going to happen. I couldn’t deny it, and if I was
honest with myself, I wanted it, needed it.

“
Nugget,” he crooned
softly, so sweetly I almost didn’t believe my ears. Tears pricked
my eyes but I forced them back. There would be time for that later.
There was always time for that later.

Tentative, as if he feared I might
break, his fingers touched grazingly, and pulled back, trembling
hard, touching and pulling back several times before they finally
made full contact. We both sighed at the first brush. Thick hands
cupped my face and my eyes popped open wide.

Before I knew what he was about, his
lips brushed mine in a soft caress, before I could protest, and he
growled at the taste, tongue darting out to lick across the
seam.

“
Gersthart,” I whimpered,
tugging at his wrist in an iron grip, though I didn’t fight him
when he sought entry. Electricity fairly crackled through the air,
like lightning about to strike, and I felt like I was drowning in
him. “Gersthart,” I murmured, heart in my throat.

The baby whimpered when he growled
softly in answer. Grunting, startled, he glanced down, studying the
look on the tiny infant’s face. Chuffing warm air over his son’s
face, he started humming so loud my skin prickled. Crooning low, he
placed a sweet kiss atop the babe’s head, and pulled
back.

Nodding, he slowly backed up, gaining
his feet. Once he reached the door way, he stopped. Black eyes
warming marginally, he grumbled, meeting my gaze head on, “Calder
mine.”

“
Yes,” clearing my throat,
I gave a half nod, “yes, the baby is yours.”

“
Calder.”
The gruff bark had my eyes crinkling at the
corners, some of our more playful bantering coming to mind. Not
wanting to let on or give him the wrong impression, I averted my
gaze.

Always was a persistent bastard, and I
didn’t mind, actually.

Staring down at the babe, I
tried the name out in my head.
Calder.
Hmmm.
I rather liked it. Calder sort of
suited him.

“
What does Calder mean?” I
murmured quietly.

Working his lips to form the words,
Troll slowly growled out, “Rough waters.”

A surprised barked of
hysterical laughter burst out of me.
Rough
waters, indeed.

“
Alright,” I conceded,
“Calder it is, but just remember, he may be yours, but he’s mine
first.”

Lips tipping up at just the corners, a
small piece of the old Troll poked through. “Nugget’s. Troll’s.” He
seemed to take perverse delight in the little protective growl that
rumbled from my lips softly. “Nugget’s first, then
Troll’s.”

Forcing my shoulders to relax, I
nodded slowly. I was surprised to hear him use my nickname for him,
rolling off his tongue so easily. He used to hate it, I could tell
in his tone and the strain around his mouth and eyes, even if he
never said so aloud. Now, as I peeked at him surreptitiously, it
was conspicuously absent.

Eyes never leaving us, he tossed his
head towards the small, thick grey infant, the spitting image of
his curmudgeonly father, long arms and thick hide, squared body and
face, thick fingers and toes, demanding, obstinate little
personality, everything but for the orange fuzz and those bright
blue eyes.

“
Perfect.”

“
Yes,” I could feel my eyes
filling, a small lump forming in my throat, “he is
perfect.”

Thumping his chest with a balled fist,
he snarled. “Protect. Mine.” Runes along his skin lit up and sparks
shot from his shoulders, dusting the room. As the little specks
rained down on us, landing on our skin, they melted into our flesh
and disappeared, not pricks or harsh zaps, only a gentle
tingling.

Calder smiled a little in his sleep,
fidgeting, a small coo escaping him before he squirmed closer. A
small set of runes, matching Troll’s, sprinkling his shoulders, lit
up dimly before they died out, a small sigh escaping his sweet
little bowed grey lips.

The grip I had on him loosened as I’d
prepared for something horrible, sagging back against the bed when
I eventually realized all was well. Crisis averted, at least for
now, I couldn’t help but swell with relief.

Troll left, or so I’d thought he had,
but a small rumble at the door said otherwise. “Nugget?”

Taking my eyes off of the sleeping
babe, I murmured, “Hmm?”

Fierce determination filled his gaze,
swirling with inky black and glowing orange. Voice deepening
possessively, he rumbled, “Nugget mine too.” And then he was
gone.

Upside Down

Troll didn’t return the next day, or
the next, though his presence, lingering close by, was felt keenly.
Settling Calder, I’d tossed and turned, sleeping restlessly. At one
point Quaz had poked his head in, not willing to enter the room
just yet with Troll on edge, ducking back out quickly before he got
another flying lesson. Brevin had taken off, but he’d fetched him,
and all was well.

Calder woke periodically, wishing to
eat and go back to sleep, and every time I awoke there was a
pitcher of fresh water, a cup, food, and a basin of water, what
looked like a small pot one would use to relieve one’s self in, and
soap and fresh sheets, along with small cloths.

Too tired and worn to question any of
it, I accepted the small offerings without comment, no one present
to thank when I awoke, anyways.

The small cloths worked well to diaper
Calder, tying the corners off at the front to hold. The thick
strips of cloth, I gathered, were for more feminine things, and I
changed the sheets when needed. Balling the used linens and things
up and setting it towards the end of the bed, along with the small
pot, I tried not think too much on who, exactly, would dispose of
all these things, finding it best left unknown.

Birth is natural,
I tried to reason.
Bodily needs are natural. It is all a part of life, nothing
gross or embarrassing about it.
But tell
that to my crimson face and the cringe whenever my gaze dipped
towards the foot of the bed.

****

Things went on like this for the
better part of three weeks, mystery deliveries, no one else in
sight, with the exception of Brevin’s sneak-ins early in the
morning. They only lasted a few minutes, Brev fearing Troll might
come storming in to roar him out, but it was enough to assure me he
was being taken care of. Quaz, from what Brevin said in his short
visits, had been seeing to his well-being.

It was nice at first, a bit
of a reprieve of all the madness that had become my existence, but
by the end of the sixth, I was restless and beyond moody.
Are we lepers? That no one would come pay a
visit? Do I look that hideous? Does no one wish to see my
baby?!
Irrational and emotional, I was all
narrowed eyes one moment, instant tears the next.

Trading my oversized shirt for a clean
one, the clean smell, mixed with something else, familiar but just
out of my reach of comprehension, soothing my frazzled
nerves.

“
Come on, little man,” I
cooed, swaddling my little gurgling roly-poly, ready to do a little
bit of exploring. It was so quiet today, I wondered if we’d been
abandoned.
Where is everyone?

Bringing my hands to my
hair, I grimaced. The frizzing mass had massive tangles, the soap I
used to try and rinse it harsh, not a brush in sight.
I must look a fright,
I
fretted.
No matter, though, I can’t stay
in here a moment longer.

I truly had healed fast,
much faster than I’d thought possible, or, erm, humanly possible,
and the lack of ache in my body, the renewed energy I felt, little
by little, more and more, day by day, had been proof enough.
I’m not quite human anymore,
I had to remind myself.

Much like when I carried Calder, it
was all whizzing by. I could barely believe it. My baby boy was
thriving, a fat, gurgling little bundle of joy. Or, when he was
hungry, a screaming mass of ‘now’. Troll, making himself
distractingly scarce, hadn’t permanently maimed anyone
yet.

Where was the growly
Ornthren, though?
I wondered.
Had he left us, left me again?
His absence was truly bothering me, adding to the
edgy restlessness already hounding me.

Testing my weight as I stood, feet
bare on the cool, cave floor, I muttered, wiggling my toes, “Only
one way to find out.”

Satisfied with the idea of a small
jaunt, I turned and picked up Calder, grinning when he made a
little grunting noise, followed by a chuff, gurgling when I laughed
and cradled him to my chest.

“
Let’s go find everybody,
huh? See where everyone’s hidden off to.” Reaching the hall, I
paused, looking one way, and then the other.