The Thousand Autumns of Jacob De Zoet: A Novel (7 page)

Before breakfast on the 29th July, 1799

Jacob de Zoet emerges from buzzing darkness to see Hanzaburo, his house interpreter, being interrogated by two inspectors. 'They'll be ordering your boy,' Junior Clerk Ponke Ouwehand appears from thin air, 'to open up your turds to see what you shat. I tormented my first snoop into an early grave three days ago, so the Interpreters' Guild sent this hat-stand.' Ouwehand jerks his head at the gangly youth behind him. 'His name's Kichibei but I call him "Herpes" after how closely he sticks to me. But I'll defeat him in the end. Grote bet me ten guilders I can't wear out five by November. Broken our fast yet, have we?'

The inspectors now notice Kichibei and summon him over.

'I was on my way,' says Jacob, wiping his hands.

'We should go before all the hands piss in your coffee.'

The two clerks set off up Long Street, passing two pregnant deer.

'Nice shank of venison,' comments Ouwehand, 'for Christmas dinner.'

Dr Marinus and the slave Ignatius are watering the melon patch. 'Another furnace of a day ahead, Doctor,' says Ouwehand, over the fence.

Marinus must have heard but does not deign to look up.

'He's courteous enough to his students,' Ouwehand remarks to Jacob, 'and to his handsome Indian, and he was gentleness made man, so van Cleef says, when Hemmij was dying, and when his scholar friends bring him a weed or a dead starfish, he wags his tail off. So why is he Old Master Misery with us? In Batavia, even the French Consul - the
French
Consul, mark you - called him "
un buffalo insufferable
".' Ouwehand squeaks in the back of his throat.

A gang of porters is gathering at the Crossroads to bring ashore the pig-iron. When they notice Jacob, the usual nudges, stares and grins begin. He turns down Bony Alley rather than run the gauntlet any further.

'Don't deny you enjoy the attention,' says Ouwehand, 'Mr Red-Hair.'

'But I
do
deny it,' objects Jacob. 'I deny it utterly.'

The two clerks turn into Sea Wall Lane and reach the Kitchen.

Arie Grote is plucking a bird under a canopy of pans and skillets. Oil is frying, a pile of improvised pancakes is piling up and a well-travelled round of Edam and sour apples are divided between two mess tables. Piet Baert, Ivo Oost and Gerritszoon sit at the hands' table; Peter Fischer, the senior clerk, and Con Twomey, the carpenter, eat at the officers': today being Wednesday, Vorstenbosch, van Cleef and Dr Marinus take their breakfast upstairs in the Bay Room.

'We was just wond'rin',' says Grote, 'where you coves'd got to, eh?'

'Pottage of nightingales' tongues to begin with, Maestro,' says Ouwehand, poking at the gritty bread and rancid butter, 'followed by a quail-and-blackberry pie with artichokes in cream, and last, the quince and white rose trifle.'

'How Mr O.'s evergreen jests,' says Grote, 'spice up the day.'

'That
is
,' Ouwehand peers over, 'a
pheasant
's arsehole your hand is up?'

'Envy,' the cook tuts, 'is one o' the Seven Deadlies, eh, Mr de Z.?'

'They say so.' Jacob wipes a smear of blood from an apple. 'Yes.'

'We readied yer coffee.' Baert carries over a bowl. 'Nice an' fresh.'

Jacob looks at Ouwehand who makes a 'told you so' face.

'Thank you, Mr Baert, but I may abstain today.'

'But we made it special,' protests the Antwerper. 'Just for you.'

Oost yawns, cavernously; Jacob risks a pleasantry. 'Bad night?'

'Out smuggling and robbing the Company till dawn, weren't I?'

'I wouldn't know, Mr Oost.' Jacob breaks his bread. 'Were you?'

'Thought
you
had all the answers afore y'even set foot ashore.'

'A civil tongue,' cautions Twomey, in his Irish-flavoured Dutch, 'is--'

'
He
's the one sittin' in judgement on us all, Con, an'
you
think it too.'

Oost is the only hand rash enough to speak so bluntly to the new clerk's face without the excuse of grog, but Jacob knows that even van Cleef views him as Vorstenbosch's spy. The Kitchen is waiting for his answer. 'To man its ships, maintain its garrisons and pay its tens of thousands of salaries, Mr Oost, including yours, the Company must make a profit. Its trading factories must keep books. Dejima's books for the last five years are a pig's dinner. It is Mr Vorstenbosch's duty to order me to piece those books together. It is my duty to obey. Why must this make my name "Iscariot"?'

No one cares to reply. Peter Fischer eats with his mouth open.

Ouwehand scoops up some sauerkraut with his gritty bread.

'Strikes
me
,' Grote says, plucking out the fowl's innards, 'that it all rests on what the Chief
does
about any . . .
irregularities
, eh, spotted durin' this
piecin' together
. Whether it's a "Naughty-Boy-Now-Sin-No-More", or a firm but fair canin' of one's
derriere
, eh? Or ruination an' a six-by-five-by-four in Batavia gaol . . .'

'If--' Jacob stops himself saying, 'if you did nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear': everyone present violates the Company rules on private trade. 'I'm not the--' Jacob stops himself saying 'Chief's Private Confessor'. 'Have you tried asking Mr Vorstenbosch directly?'

'Not f'the likes o'
me
,' replies Grote, 'to be interrogatin', eh, my superiors?'

'Then you'll have to wait and see what Chief Vorstenbosch decides.'

A bad answer
, realises Jacob,
implying I know more than I'm saying
.

'Yap yap,' mumbles Oost. 'Yap.' Baert's laughter could be hiccups.

An apple skin slides off Fischer's knife in one perfect coil. 'Can we expect you to visit our office later? Or will you be doing more
piecing together
in Warehouse Doorn with your friend Ogawa?'

'I shall
do
,' Jacob hears his voice rise, 'whatever the Chief
bids
.'

'Oh? Did I touch a rotten tooth? Ouwehand and I merely wish to know -'

'Did I' - Ouwehand consults the ceiling - 'utter a single word?'

'- to know whether our alleged third clerk shall help us today.'

' "Articled",' Jacob states, 'not "alleged" or "third", just as
you
are not "head".'

'Oh? So you and Mr Vorstenbosch
have
discussed matters of succession?'

'Is this squabblin'
edifyin'
, eh,' queries Grote, 'afore the
lower orders
?'

The warped kitchen door shudders as the Chief's servant Cupido enters.

'What d'you want, yer dusky dog?' asks Grote. 'You was fed earlier.'

'I bring a message for Clerk de Zoet: "Chief bids you come to State Room", sir.'

Baert's laugh is born, lives and dies in his ever-congested nose.

'I'll keep yer breakfast,' Grote chops off the pheasant's feet, 'good an' safe.'

'Here, boy!' whispers Oost to an invisible dog. 'Sit, boy! Up, boy!'

'Just a sip o' coffee,' Baert proffers the bowl, 'to fortify yer, like?'

'I don't think I'd care,' Jacob stands to go, 'for its adulterants.'

'Not a soul's 'cusin yer 'f a
dult
'ry,' gurns Baert, incomprehending, 'just--'

The pastor's nephew kicks the coffee bowl out of Baert's hands.

It smashes against the ceiling: fragments smash on the floor.

The onlookers are astonished; Oost's yaps cease; Baert is drenched.

Even Jacob is surprised. He pockets his bread and leaves.

* * *

In the Antechamber of Bottles outside the State Room, a wall of fifty or sixty glass demijohns, wired tight against earthquakes, exhibit creatures from the Company's once-vast empire. Preserved from decay by alcohol, pig-bladder and lead, they warn not so much that all flesh perishes - what sane adult forgets this truth for long? - but that immortality comes at a steep price.

A pickled dragon of Kandy bears an uncanny resemblance to Anna's father, and Jacob recalls a fateful conversation with that gentleman in his Rotterdam drawing-room. Carriages passed by below, and the lamplighter was doing his rounds. 'Anna has told me,' her father began, 'the surprising facts of the situation, de Zoet . . .

The Kandy dragon's neighbour is a slack-jawed viper of the Celebes.

'. . . and I have, accordingly, enumerated your merits and demerits.

A baby alligator from Halmahera has a demon's delighted grin.

'In the credit column: you are a fastidious clerk of good character . . .

The alligator's umbilical cord is attached to its shell for all eternity.

'. . . who has not abused his advantage over Anna's affections.

It was a posting to Halmahera from which Vorstenbosch rescued Jacob.

'In the debit column, you are a clerk: not a merchant, not a shipper . . .

A tortoise from the Island of Diego Garcia appears to be weeping,

'. . . or even a warehouse-master, but a clerk. I don't doubt your affection.

Jacob touches the jar of a Barbados lamprey with his broken nose.

'But affection is merely the plum in the pudding: the pudding itself is
wealth
.

The lamprey's O-shaped mouth is a grinding mill of razor-sharp Vs and Ws.

'I am, however, willing to give you a chance to earn your pudding, de Zoet - out of respect for Anna's judge of character. A director at East India House comes to my club. If you wish to become my son-in-law as strongly as you say, he can arrange a five-year clerical post for you in Java. The official salary is meagre but a young man of enterprise may make something of himself. You must give your answer today, however: the
Fadrelandet
is sailing from Copenhagen in a fortnight . . .'

'New friends?' Deputy van Cleef watches him from the State Room door.

Jacob pulls his gaze from the lamprey's. 'I don't have the luxury to pick and choose, Deputy.'

Van Cleef hums at his candour. 'Mr Vorstenbosch shall see you now.'

'Won't you be joining our meeting, sir?'

'Pig-iron won't carry and weigh itself, de Zoet, more's the pity.'

Unico Vorstenbosch squints at the thermometer hung by the painting of William the Silent. He is pink with heat and shiny with sweat. 'I shall have Twomey fashion me one of those ingenious cloth fans the English brought from India . . . oh, the word evades me . . .'

'Might you be thinking of a punkah, sir?'

'Just so. A punkah, with a punkah-wallah to tug its cord . . .'

Cupido enters, carrying a familiar jade-and-silver teapot on a tray.

'Interpreter Kobayashi is due at ten,' says Vorstenbosch, 'with a gaggle of officials to brief me on court etiquette during our long-delayed audience with the Magistrate. Antique China-ware shall signal that
this
chief resident is a man of refinement: the Orient is all about signals, de Zoet. Remind me what blue-blood the tea-service was crafted for, according to that Jew in Macao?'