Authors: Leigh Ellwood
“I figured everything was status quo, and you were having threesomes with Ben and Jerry.”
“You really need new material.”
“How come you and her don’t come to the Den?” Annalise demanded.
The lack of circulation stifled Kit. They couldn’t have this conversation via text, with Annalise far, far away? “Women go to the Den to meet other women. I don’t need to go there anymore, I found one.” She lurched past her friend and grabbed the knob. “Look, I’ll text you later and we’ll take in a movie or something.”
“You ashamed to be seen with her?”
“No. We work together.” Kit’s palm sweat against the brushed nickel.
Annalise shook a finger, taking her to task. “I know you too well, Kit. You’ll bop around the Den without a care in the world because you feel safe there. Anywhere else, and you’d pull your head into your shirt if you could.”
“That’s my business.” Kit wouldn’t face her.
“I bet Tish still doesn’t know. Or maybe she thinks it and is waiting on you to confirm. What is scaring you, Kit?” Annalise sounded concerned now.
Kit stayed quiet, letting out a soft yelp when a knock on the other side startled her.
“You two okay?” Sidney called.
“Yeah, sorry.”
“You coming out?”
Annalise snorted. Kit glared at her and left the bathroom.
“You know what would work in there? An automated soap dispenser,” Annalise said as though their serious talk never occurred. “You hold your hand underneath and it squirts. Don’t have to touch anything.”
Sidney moved back to the counter. “I suppose it’s more sanitary, especially with kids making a mess.” She grabbed her purse and slung the strap over her shoulder. “Kit, I’m taking off. The front’s already clean and Tish said she’d count down the drawer since she’s waiting for Vinnie.” She paused, looking from woman to woman before slowly exiting. “I’ll see you, ah, later.”
“Hey, Sidney, if you’re free it’s karaoke night at this bar I like. I plan to butcher some Mary Lambert tunes and could use the support.” Annalise brushed past Kit, smirking over her shoulder. “I’ll even buy a drink to compensate for your projected hearing loss.”
Is this happening?
Her friend, openly hitting on the woman she was seeing, in front of her? All this time, she’d believed Annalise respected boundaries.
“Uh, I don’t think—” she began.
“Sounds like fun,” Sidney broke in. “Kit, how about it?”
“Kit? Homebody Kit who never goes out on a school night?” Annalise teased. “No amount of free drinks would budge her from her couch.”
Sidney watched her, her expectant expression tensing. Not ten minutes ago she’d tempted her with a sex toy, and was now willing to cast aside the chance for intimacy to hear Annalise caterwaul at the Den. She realized she had irked Sidney earlier, but this standoff unnerved her. She wanted Annalise gone so the two of them could talk.
“Doesn’t look like Kit’s interested, so I’ll see you where?” Sidney asked Annalise.
The air left Kit’s lungs.
“You know The Woolf’s Den outside of town? I could pick you up.”
Kit watched the scene unfold as though inserted into a movie, unable to stop the action. When Sidney held out her phone to touch Annalise’s to exchange contact information she thought she’d explode.
No way is this happening
. After what she and Sidney shared, she couldn’t stand by while her soon-to-be former friend snatched her in plain sight.
“Sidney has a car. In fact, I’m escorting her to it.” Kit broke in between them and nudged Sidney out to the sidewalk, flipping the open sign on the door along the way. On Main Street, other merchants observed closing time with dimmed lights and lowered blinds. Only Mick’s at the end of the block showed signs of life.
“What the hell was that?” Kit followed a silent Sidney to her car. “We had plans.”
“And I changed them, only you weren’t keen on it, so
you
have plans with pizza and I’m going to enjoy myself.” Sidney rounded the trunk to the driver’s side.
“So spending time with me isn’t enjoyable? I hadn’t realized that for the all the times we…” Kit abruptly went silent and looked around for curious listeners, then swiveled back to Sidney’s glare.
“You can’t say it out loud anywhere. You won’t go out for dinner, the park. We haven’t been back to the Den since we met. Who are you hiding from, Kit?”
“Nobody. Maybe I like having you to myself. I figured since you’re buying all these not-for-public-consumption toys maybe you felt the same way,” Kit said. She moved a step and Sidney opened her door. It looked like a dare—push further and she’d drive away before resolving their argument.
Even from the distance, she noticed the redness rimming Sidney’s bright blue eyes and the sheen of tears yet to spill. “I’m not ashamed of who I am, Kit.”
“Neither am I, and I really care for you.”
“I care for you, too, but I want to be with someone who isn’t afraid to hold my hand or tell people I’m her girl.”
“I told Annalise.” For all the good it did. Annalise hunted for sport, apparently, and hadn’t given consideration to Kit’s feelings.
“What about your family? Tish? People you
don’t
think are trying to bed me.”
Kit made her next mistake by waiting too long to answer. Sidney huffed and dove into the car. “I’m not asking you to march in a damn parade,” she called out from her open window as the engine hummed to life. “I don’t want to be your dirty little secret.”
With nothing to block, the car shot forward and rolled down the side road, leaving Kit to watch as it turned a corner.
Shit, shit, shit.
Why couldn’t she say anything, do something, to make this better? The past two weeks with Sidney had been incredible, and it wasn’t always about the sex. They connected on another level, funning each other about favorite fandoms, and cooking tips, and sharing their life goals. Sidney had loved the food truck idea, and once in a while Kit would receive a link to her phone about vehicles for sale, or related contests.
In a quiet blink, Kit pictured that easiness dissolving into a cooler working environment with Sidney diverting her attention to other things around Tish’s shop. What if she quit? Lord, she’d never hear the end of it from Tish. Moreover, she’d miss being with her all day.
Annalise’s car had been parked on Main Street, but it was gone now. Smart girl to not hang around to incur her wrath, but Kit then wondered if she’d eavesdropped on her fight with Sidney. Once her lover lit into her, everything around them disappeared.
“Annalise, you bitch,” she muttered. The girl could have any lesbian in town, in the state. What would possess her to make a play for Sidney? This was her fault for inviting them to the Den—if she’d kept her mouth shut, Sidney would be driving to her duplex—
She kicked something that skittered across the floor. Kit picked up the vibrator’s remote control, having forgotten the blasted thing was still attached to her thigh.
No, this is my fault. I did nothing to stop this.
In her yearning to keep her private life as such, she’d stifled Sidney. Once in a while you have to turn off the remotes and go outside. Being in a relationship had rattled her to the point where she couldn’t bring a steady girlfriend to the Woolf’s Den, her one safe place outside her home. And Sidney’s.
Kit locked the shop door behind her, pocketed the remote, and tried to get to the kitchen without sobbing.
Sid dashed from the bathroom to the front door, disappointed to see only the distorted view of the hallway through the peephole. She swore she’d heard a knock.
Padding closer to her futon, she spied the phone lying face up amid her discarded laundry, the darkened screen taunting her.
“Buzz, damn you.”
Text me, call me, do something.
Had Kit resolved to give her time, or had she given up completely? Two hours had passed since she left the shop, and seeing as how Sid had never experienced a relationship bordering on serious she didn’t know the protocol for post-fight contact. Should they hash it out at work tomorrow morning in between customers? Stab at their phones all night, trading obscene emoji?
Whatever the procedure, Kit had to call first. She cast down the glove when she drove away.
Back at her closet, she tightened the yellow bath towel fastened at her chest and thumbed through her outfits. She’d gone through the cycle of her favorite shirt and skirt combinations this past week, but for her first night at the Den in a while she wanted to look nice. She didn’t intend to pick up anybody, but she hoped to make a point with her appearance tonight that she, unlike Kit, was comfortable in her skin, anywhere.
She selected the black shirt emblazoned with two triangles—pink on the left breast and blue on the right—and the multi-striped skirt designed to look like the bisexual pride flag. Black leggings and high-tops speckled with colored triangles completed the ensemble, and she dressed in silence while listening for the phone. Anybody running into her at the Den—hell, on the elevator ride to her car—would know the score with her.
All this time, she couldn’t rid her mind of thoughts of Kit.
Am I asking too much of her?
She respected that people chose to live privately, and it wasn’t like she wanted Kit to choreograph a flash mob to declare her love. A dinner out. A walk to Buzzkill during lunch break to get coffee, arms linked and standing close to each other. Simple signs of affection. If anybody paid notice, whatever.
More than once she feared she enabled Kit’s hermit mentality, with the sex toys and the dirty texts teasing Kit about things she hoped to try in bed, body parts she loved to lick and suck. She grabbed her phone and looked up their last exchange:
Would love to just kiss u for an hour, non-stop.
Mmm, no arguments there.
Tish left out a bag of van frosting, want 2 draw swirls all over and lick u clean.
Starting where?
She re-read the list of body parts she sent to Kit and smiled. Yeah, it made sense that Kit would prefer to stay in after reading this. Maybe she ought to text Annalise and send her regrets, or simply bail without a word. Annalise seemed the type to rebound quickly. If Karaoke Night packed the Den, there was a chance she wouldn’t be missed.
The phone shook in her hand and Roman’s smiling mug appeared. “I suppose you want to borrow money now that I’m a big time chocolatier.”
“The real money’s in cattle. I’ll buy and sell you on the market,” Roman teased back.
“Chocolate dipped beef jerky? Hey, people like it on bacon.”
“Blech. Don’t quit your day job, ha. How’s it going?”
Small talk about their jobs, the weather, and holiday plans carried them for several minutes. Sid appreciated the respite from her romantic woes, however brief. The mention of Roman’s girlfriend triggered a pang in her heart, especially since his voice softened as he spoke of her.
Rhonda held no ambitions beyond living the pioneer life, popping out babies, and homeschooling them while Dear Husband paid the bills. Good for her, and good for Roman on finding a compatible match. She thought she had one, too. Rare for both siblings to have happy relationships at the same time, and under other circumstances she could brag about it.
“You’re not listening to me.”
Drawn out of her reverie, she apologized. “I had a tiff with the girl I’m seeing.”
“Kit, right?”
She’d forgotten she mentioned it to Roman earlier. “Yeah,” she said, and gave him the abridged version. “I’m supposed to go to this karaoke thing with a friend, but maybe it’s a mistake, you know? I don’t like leaving things unresolved with Kit.”
“So resolve things. Call her.”
“I’m not the one who started this, though. I think she should reach out first. I only wanted a bit of recognition outside our homes that we are together, and instead she’d rather…” Well, she wasn’t about to go into detail about her sex life with her brother. “She ticked me off, she has to call
me
.”
Roman was silent for a beat, breathing hard over the phone. Finally, “You don’t think you’re asking too much of her? A girl who probably lived in that small town all her life and doesn’t think her sexual preference is anybody’s business?”
“She’s not from here. Well, North Carolina—”
“That’s not really the point, Sid. I know you, and you’ve always been outgoing and open. Other people need to go at their own pace. You’re mad at Kit for not even acknowledging your relationship to your boss, but have
you
talked to the lady about it?”
“No,” she grumbled. No skin off her nose to come out to Tish about her and Kit, but she stayed quiet out of respect to the other girl. “I even suggested we go to our boss together, but she’s skittish.”
“You like this girl?”
She closed her eyes and called up an image of Kit in the Tish’s Riches kitchen, stirring ganache for truffles and prepping candy molds. Sometimes when business on the shop floor slowed she’d pause at the edge of the work area and study her lover’s expressions. Kit put her all into baking treats and decorating special orders. Her eyes took on a warm glow and, when deep in the zone, the tip of her tongue would poke from a corner and hold. She usually had to turn away if that happened, because thoughts of that tongue on her clit might cloud her focus, and she didn’t need to have sex on the brain while serving customers.
“I do. It’s only been a few weeks, but I feel we could have something long-term.” Forever? She hated to picture herself as an old woman, but if she and Kit ended up as Golden Girls with benefits that would be fine by her.
“Swallow your pride, and don’t worry about who is the bigger person here. Everybody’s afraid to call because they automatically suspect it’s the end, and they want to prolong that dose of pain. Take her off the hook.”
Roman made a good point, much as she cringed to admit it. Kit could interpret her silence as a reluctant to move forward and heal the rift. Years from now, and she wanted to believe they’d still be a couple then, this should be a faded memory.