The Sweet By and By (34 page)

“Very.” She pressed her fingers to her eyes to block her tears. The first since confronting Mama
.
“Dealing with what I'd done.”

The melodies of the choir practice seeped through the walls. The reverend waited.

“I felt heat.” Jade motioned to her body. “From my toes to my crown. Well, first I felt a wind. It blew only on my face, or at my feet. After I told God I was sorry for what I'd done, then the heat came. Searing heat. Then the burden of pain was gone, and I felt this incredible peace.”

“Jesus comes to take away our guilt and shame, Jade. Why not yours?” The reverend smiled. “We like to put God in a box, determine when and how He can speak to us, but He can relate to us any way He wants.”

“Guess I thought I'd disqualified myself.” She exhaled. “I feel . . . free.”

“Nothing can separate us from the love of God. We all mess up, make mistakes, but if there's a yes in your heart to Him, you're on the right path.”

Jade laughed. “My Paps and Granny are dancing in heaven. They were quiet in their prayers for us, but I have no doubt that's why I'm sitting here now.”

The reverend folded his hands on his desk. “Max asked me this morning to do a religious ceremony, weaving your faith and God into the vows. I'm honored to do so. Jade, anytime you want to talk, my door is always open to you.”

She stood. “I was thinking I could sign up for those classes you mentioned.”

“We meet every Monday night at seven.”

Twenty-nine

The white room with yellow buttercup trim was too quiet. Beryl longed for Willow's exuberant presence, but she'd gone off with her new friends.

That girl. She'll never be lonely.

Dr. Meadows had just called. Wanted to know if she was feeling all right, if she had any weakness or pain. The weight loss and weather contributed to the night at Miss Linda's when she was so cold. Beryl was just glad to not have the flu the week of Jade's wedding.

Then he told her he'd schedule her for chemo the week she returned home.

Stretching out on her bed, her silver hair splayed across the starched pillowcase, Beryl reached for the brass ring that may have only existed in her dreams and closed her fingers around it.
Don't let me go.

She wondered if she could experience what Jade had in Miss Linda's yard. A healing heat. She might believe if she did.

Drifting in the twilight between awake and asleep, Beryl was young again, dancing in the moonlight with Harlan. Planting corn. There were Mother and Paps, around the red-and-chrome kitchen table. Little man Aiden taking her picture while Jade jumped up and down in the kitchen, begging for her to make cookies. Willow, cherubic but ornery, swung up on Beryl's hip.

Call him.

Beryl's eyes popped open.
Call him? Who?

Call him
.

Beryl sat up, leaning her back against the headboard.
Call him.
But she didn't want to call
him
. It'd been too many years. Too much silence. She wouldn't begin to know what to say.

Call him.

Hesitating only a half second, Beryl picked up the phone and followed the instructions for making a long-distance call.

Sunlight washed her bedroom window as Jade kicked her legs from under the covers and dropped to the floor next to Roscoe's bed. He snored in a smooth, even rhythm. “Roscoe,” Jade whispered, “I'm getting married today.”

His feet fluttered and a muffled “ruff” billowed his lips.

“Get that old rabbit.” Jade rubbed his brown and black head. “Even with one eye, you're better than the best German Shepherd hunter.”

As if he had heard, Roscoe opened his eye and touched his nose to Jade's.

Rolling over on her back, Jade stared at her white ceiling. “Max was so sweet last night at the rehearsal dinner, Roscoe. He's getting it, you know? He stayed with me all night, never left my side, even when those bozo friends of his tried to get him outside for a cigar.

“I'm doing the right thing, Roscoe.” The dog nudged her shoulder. “Time for breakfast and a trip outside.”

Jade tugged on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, finding her sneakers by the door. Ten a.m., and it felt like an eternity until six p.m. Down the loft stairs and out the storeroom door, Jade and Roscoe stepped into a cold, blue-sky day. Shivering, she urged Roscoe to do his business quick.

It was weird seeing the shop dark and the sign announcing, “Closed for the Owner's Wedding.”

Back up in the loft, Jade scooped Roscoe's breakfast into his bowl, then stood in front of the open fridge trying to decide if anything sounded good to eat.

“Big sister.” A knock echoed and Willow let herself in. “Breakfast from Sugar Plumbs. Daphne and Margot gave me Bridal KP. Did you know Margot is bossy?”

“Really? I had no idea.” Jade opened the box Willow handed her. “Mm, an omelet.”

“Mae cooked your breakfast herself. Said she figured you'd need something to stick to your ribs. All they'll serve is bunny food at the bridesmaids' luncheon.” Willow hunted through Jade's cupboards. “Where do you keep the napkins?”

Jade pointed her toe at the pantry.

“Beryl's still asleep,” Willow said once they hit the sofa, cartons propped on their laps, feet against the coffee table. “She's sick, isn't she?”

Jade's eyes met her sister's. “She has leukemia. Four years now.”

Willow swirled her eggs around her box. “That makes sense. She's been losing weight, sleeping a lot, not working. When did she tell you?”

“When we toured the house.”

“Wow, I suspected something was wrong but never thought it was real.” Willow set her food on the coffee table and walked to the window. “Is it serious?”

“Dr. Meadows wants to start her on chemo. Mama said she's losing the war.”

“For a long time I didn't think I'd care that much if she died. That sounds awful, doesn't it? It's not like when Granny went. I felt like my childhood died with her.” Willow peered back at Jade. “But it's Beryl, isn't it?”

“Yeah, it's Mama, with all her ups and downs, marriages and parties.” Jade patted the cushion, calling Willow back to the sofa. “We can do the right thing and forgive all she's done, help her through this.”

Willow bit off the end of a sausage link, then give the rest to Roscoe. “I'm sad for Beryl. She seems so alone.” Willow tapped her food with her fork.

“That's why we'll be there for her.”

“I should go back to school, shouldn't I?” Willow tore off a bit of bacon.

“Yes. Mama's been wrong about a lot of things, Willow. But she's right about you and the potential you have.” Jade set her food aside. “Don't waste yourself on a bunch of men, partying, living like there's no tomorrow.”

“Jade—” Willow broke her biscuit in two, biting one half, giving the other to Roscoe.

“It only destroys your self-esteem, not to mention how physically dangerous it is. Now that I have Max, I wish I'd never been with anyone else. Those experiences don't matter or help. At all.”

“So the sinner becomes the preacher.” Roscoe scooted closer to Willow and dropped his chin on her foot. She handed over a whole sausage link.

“More like the fool becomes wise. I'm not judging you, Willow.”

“I know I act all crazy sometimes, but when I stop moving, it's like I can't breathe.”

“Was it awful after I left for college?” Jade never asked before because she didn't want to know. She had enough guilt, thank you very much.

“Granny was my mother, Jade. She took good care of me until she died. We had some good times.” The tip of Willow's nose reddened. “I miss her.”

“Yeah, me too. I'm sorry I left you, Wills. But I had to get out of Prairie City in the worst way.”

“It's okay, I understood.” She peered at Jade. “Beryl's your only parent, Jade. I have Mike, but Beryl is all you and Aiden have.”

“As parents go. But I have you and Aiden. And now Max and the Bensons.”

“You are going to be the most beautiful bride, Jade. Inside and out.”

“I hope Max thinks so.”

“Are you nervous? I'd be petrified.”

Jade pictured Max, the reverend, Willow, Mama, Daphne, Margot, and the Bensons. She pressed her hand over her middle where the ache always used to be.

“It's about faith, Willow, and I've already taken the leap. I'm in midair, doing a somersault, believing love will catch me if I miss my mark.”

Thirty

First Baptist Congregation, November 14, 5:30 p.m.

In the bridal room off the large slate and marble foyer, Jade waited with Roscoe. It was Betsy's idea to dress him up in a doggy tux. Jade refused until she saw him in a bow tie, wagging his tail as if he understood it made him part of the wedding ceremony.

Betsy shooed Willow, Daphne, and Margot out of the room to allow some “peace and quiet time” for the bride.

The air felt thick and heavy. Jade inhaled deep. She wondered if her heart would race today as though she were being chased by a thousand enemies. But so far, not even a flutter.

Her gift from Max sparkled on her wrist—a diamond bracelet. His note made her heart well up and her eyes mist. “Diamonds are forever, so is my devotion to you. Always yours, Max.”

The parking lot was filling up, and guests in formal attire hurried toward the sanctuary.

“Jade-o?” The door creaked open.

“Come in. Oh, you let them fix your hair.” Mama's braid was coiled around the back of her head and adorned with baby's breath. “You, with your flowers in your hair, look beautiful.”

Mama stood back, smiling, eyes glistening. “Thank you for inviting me, Jade. If I'd have missed this, well . . . You are beautiful. Simply stunning.”

“It took a beauty team to get me like this.”

“Max's eyes are going to fall on the floor.”

“I hope not. He has to drive me to my honeymoon.”

“Paps and Granny would be very proud.”

“I hope they're watching.” Jade touched the spot on her neck where the medallion usually laid.

“Can we sit a moment?” Mama motioned to the long white couch.

Jade pointed to the back of her dress. “I don't want to wrinkle.”

“I've done something.” Mama remained standing, wringing her hands, her brown eyes glossy. “I thought I was supposed to . . . now but I'm not so sure.”

“What did you do?” After the past three weeks, Mama's news didn't rattle her much.

“I figure you won't kill me on your wedding day.”

“Mama . . .”

Aiden poked his head inside. “Hey—”

“Is it time already?” Jade whirled to see the clock. Betsy promised a five-minute warning.

“Mom, he's here,” Aiden said.

“Who's here?” Jade said.

“Your dad, Jade.” Mama's smiled wobbled. “I called him and suggested he might regret missing his daughter's wedding. Oh, I went too far, didn't I? Stepped over my bounds. He said I shouldn't butt in, and he refused to come without an invitation from the bride, but . . .” Mama gripped Jade's hands with a growing boldness. “I can't face chemo and leukemia knowing I'm your only parent. He's been a shabby excuse for a father, but still, he is your dad. You remember him a bit, don't you?”

“Max. Aiden, get Max.”

“Jade, I'm sorry.”

“Are you sure?” Aiden asked, hand on the knob. “You're in your dress.”

“Aiden, get him. Now.”

“He'll be your only parent. I thought I could help mend things, do something right by you kids for a change.”

“Are you kicking the bucket tomorrow? Honestly, Mama, I'm about to walk down the aisle.”

“I'm sorry—”

“Mama, stop saying ‘I'm sorry.' Let me think.”

She called Harlan? He came? Oh, Jade didn't want to deal with this now.

“Jade, what's wrong?” Max burst into the room, worry wrapping around his eyes. “Are you okay? Beryl, what's wrong? Aiden said to come quick.”

“My father. He's here. Mama called him, and he came.”

“Here, in this place?” Max pointed to the floor, gazing between Mama and Jade.

“Just got here,” said Beryl.

“Do we have to deal with this now?” Max asked.

Jade leaned into his chest, careful of her makeup against his white shirt. “He wants to see me.” She batted away tears.

“Jade,” Aiden said low. “I talked to him. He's fine if you want to wait for another time.”

She dabbed under her eyes with the tissue Mama pressed into her hand.
Jesus, what do I do?

Peace was an amazing tonic. Forgiveness, a powerful tool. “Tell him to come in.”

“Are you sure?” Max asked, slipping his hand into hers.

“Yes, yes, I think I am.” Jade laced her fingers tight with Max's, a buzz and a bubble in her middle. One word, and she might laugh. Another, and she'd weep.

What was he like fifteen years later? Still dashing with coal black hair and gray eyes? Had he gained weight? Did he wear glasses? A toupee?

At the end of all her questions, Harlan Fitzgerald was still the same man who'd rescued her from the cornfield.

Max touched his lips to her ear. “Jade Fitzgerald, you are breathtaking.”

She peered up at him. “Sorry I ruined the grand entrance.”

“I'll still be stunned.” His kiss to her temple was tender and warm.

“Jade?” Aiden checked with her, then stepped back. “Come on in, Dad.”

A distinguished, silver-haired Harlan Fitzgerald barely entered the room. He stood just inside the door, watching Jade with humble eyes. “Jade. Thank you for letting me see you.”

“It's, uh . . .” She swayed as if the room had tilted. Max gripped her hand tighter. Roscoe sniffed around Harlan's shiny shoes. “It's good to see you.”