The Struggle (8 page)

What are you doing here? she thought. The scene around her seemed eerily bright and unnatural. It was like one of those nightmares when everything is ordinary, just like waking life; and then suddenly something grotesque happens. He was going to kill them all.

“Elena? Are you okay?”
Sue Carson was talking to her, gripping her shoulder.

“I think she choked on something,” Damon said, releasing Elena’s wrist. “But she’s all right now. Why don’t you introduce us?”

He was going to kill them all….

“Elena, this is Damon, um …” Sue spread an
apologetic hand, and Damon finished for her.

“Smith.” He lifted a paper cup toward Elena.
“La vita.
”

“What are you doing here?” she whispered.

“He’s a college student,” Sue volunteered, when it became apparent that Damon wasn’t going to answer. “From—University of Virginia, was it? William and Mary?”

“Among other places,” Damon said, still looking at Elena. He hadn’t glanced at Sue once. “I like to travel.”

The world had snapped into place again around Elena, but it was a chilling world. There were people on every side, watching this exchange with fascination, keeping her from speaking freely. But they were also keeping her safe. For whatever reason, Damon was playing a game, pretending to be one of them. And while the masquerade went on, he wouldn’t do anything to her in front of a crowd … she hoped.

A game. But he was making up the rules. He was standing here in the Ramseys’ dining room playing with her.

“He’s just down for a few days,” Sue was
continuing helpfully. “Visiting—friends, did you say? Or relatives?”

“Yes,” said Damon.

“You’re lucky to be able to take off whenever you want,” Elena said. She didn’t know what was possessing her, to make her try and unmask him.

“Luck has very little to do with it,” said Damon. “Do you like dancing?”

“What’s your major?”

He smiled at her. “American folklore. Did you know, for instance, that a mole on the neck means you’ll be wealthy? Do you mind if I check?”

“
I
mind.” The voice came from behind Elena. It was clear and cold and quiet. Elena had heard Stefan speak in that tone only once: when he had found Tyler trying to assault her in the graveyard. Damon’s fingers stilled on her throat, and, released from his spell, she stepped back.

“But do you matter?” he said.

The two of them faced each other under the faintly flickering yellow light of the brass chandelier.

Elena was aware of layers of her own
thoughts, like a parfait. Everyone’s staring; this must be better than the movies…. I didn’t realize Stefan was taller…. There’s Bonnie and Meredith wondering what’s going on…. Stefan’s angry but he’s still weak, still hurting…. If he goes for Damon now, he’ll lose….

And in front of all these people. Her thoughts came to a clattering halt as everything fell into place. That was what Damon was here for, to make Stefan attack him, apparently unprovoked. No matter what happened after that, he won. If Stefan drove him away, it would just be more proof of Stefan’s “tendency toward violence.” More evidence for Stefan’s accusers. And if Stefan lost the fight …

It would mean his life, thought Elena. Oh, Stefan, he’s so much stronger right now; please don’t do it. Don’t play into his hands. He
wants
to kill you; he’s just looking for a chance.

She made her limbs move, though they were stiff and awkward as a marionette’s. “Stefan,” she said, taking his cold hand in hers, “let’s go home.”

She could feel the tension in his body, like an electric current running underneath his skin.
At this moment, he was completely focused on Damon, and the light in his eyes was like fire reflecting off a dagger blade. She didn’t recognize him in this mood, didn’t know him. He frightened her.

“Stefan,”
she said, calling to him as if she were lost in fog and couldn’t find him. “Stefan,
please
.”

And slowly, slowly, she felt him respond. She heard him breathe and felt his body go off alert, clicking down to some lower energy level. The deadly concentration of his mind was diverted and he looked at her, and saw her.

“All right,” he said softly, looking into her eyes. “Let’s go.”

She kept her hands on him as they turned away, one clasping his hand, the other tucked inside his arm. By sheer force of will, she managed not to look over her shoulder as they walked away, but the skin on her back tingled and crawled as if expecting the stab of a knife.

Instead, she heard Damon’s low ironical voice: “And have you heard that kissing a red-haired girl cures fever blisters?” And then Bonnie’s outrageous, flattered laughter.

On the way out, they finally ran into their host.

“Leaving so soon?” Alaric said. “But I haven’t even had a chance to talk to you yet.”

He looked both eager and reproachful, like a dog that knows perfectly well it’s
not
going to be taken on a walk but wags anyway. Elena felt worry blossom in her stomach for him and everyone else in the house. She and Stefan were leaving them to Damon.

She’d just have to hope her earlier assessment was right and he wanted to continue the masquerade. Right now she had enough to do getting Stefan out of here before he changed his mind.

“I’m not feeling very well,” she said as she picked up her purse where it lay by the ottoman. “Sorry.” She increased the pressure on Stefan’s arm. It would take very little to get him to turn back and head for the dining room right now.

“I’m
sorry,” said Alaric. “Good-bye.”

They were on the threshold before she saw the little slip of violet paper stuck into the side pocket of her purse. She pulled it out and unfolded it almost by reflex, her mind on other things.

There was writing on it, plain and bold and unfamiliar. Just three lines. She read them and felt the world rock. This was too much; she couldn’t deal with anything more.

“What is it?” said Stefan.

“Nothing.” She thrust the bit of paper back into the side pocket, pushing it down with her fingers. “It’s nothing, Stefan. Let’s get outside.”

They stepped out into driving needles of rain.

“Next time,” Stefan said quietly, “I won’t leave.”

Elena knew he meant it, and it terrified her. But just now her emotions were quietly coasting in neutral, and she didn’t want to argue.

“He was there,” she said. “Inside an ordinary house full of ordinary people, just as if he had every right to be. I wouldn’t have thought he would dare.”

“Why not?” Stefan said briefly, bitterly. “I was there in an ordinary house full of ordinary people, just as if I had every right to be.”

“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. It’s just that the only other time I’ve seen him in public was at the Haunted House when he was wearing a mask and costume, and it was dark. Before that it was always somewhere deserted, like the gym that night I was there alone, or the graveyard….”

She knew as soon as she said that last part
that it was a mistake. She still hadn’t told Stefan about going to find Damon three days ago. In the driver’s seat, he stiffened.

“Or the graveyard?”

“Yes … I meant that day Bonnie and Meredith and I got chased out. I’m assuming it must have been Damon who chased us. And the place was deserted except for the three of us.”

Why was she lying to him? Because, a small voice in her head answered grimly, otherwise he might snap. Knowing what Damon had said to her, what he had promised was in store, might be all that was needed to send Stefan over the edge.

I can never tell him, she realized with a sick jolt. Not about that time or about anything Damon does in the future. If he fights Damon, he dies.

Then he’ll never know, she promised herself. No matter what I have to do, I’ll keep them from fighting each other over me. No matter what.

For a moment apprehension chilled her. Five hundred years ago, Katherine had tried to keep them from fighting, and had succeeded only in forcing them into a death match. But she
wouldn’t make the same mistake, Elena told herself fiercely. Katherine’s methods had been stupid and childish. Who else but a stupid child would kill herself in the hope that the two rivals for her hand would become friends? It had been the worst mistake of the whole sorry affair. Because of it, the rivalry between Stefan and Damon had turned into implacable hatred. And what’s more, Stefan had lived with the guilt of it ever since; he blamed himself for Katherine’s stupidity and weakness.

Groping for another subject, she said, “Do you think someone invited him in?”

“Obviously, since he
was
in.”

“Then it’s true about—people like you. You have to be invited in. But Damon got into the gym without an invitation.”

“That’s because the gym isn’t a dwelling place for the living. That’s the one criterion. It doesn’t matter if it’s a house or a tent or an apartment above a store. If living humans eat and sleep there, we need to be invited inside.”

“But I didn’t invite you into
my
house.”

“Yes, you did. That first night, when I drove you home, you pushed the door open and nodded
to me. It doesn’t have to be a verbal invitation. If the intent is there, that’s enough. And the person inviting you doesn’t have to be someone who actually lives in the house. Any human will do.”

Elena was thinking. “What about a houseboat?”

“Same thing. Although running water can be a barrier in itself. For some of us, it’s almost impossible to cross.”

Elena had a sudden vision of herself and Meredith and Bonnie racing for Wickery Bridge. Because somehow she had known that if they got to the other side of the river they’d be safe from whatever was after them.

“So
that’
s why,” she whispered. It still didn’t explain how she’d known, though. It was as if the knowledge had been put into her head from some outside source. Then she realized something else.

“You took me across the bridge. You can cross running water.”

“That’s because I’m weak.” It was said flatly, with no emotion behind it. “It’s ironic, but the stronger your Powers are, the more you’re affected by certain limitations. The more you
belong to the dark, the more the rules of the dark bind you.”

“What other rules are there?” said Elena. She was beginning to see the glimmer of a plan. Or at least of the hope of a plan.

Stefan looked at her. “Yes,” he said, “I think it’s time you knew. The more you know about Damon, the more chance you’ll have of protecting yourself.”

Of protecting herself? Perhaps Stefan knew more than she thought. But as he turned the car onto a side street and parked, she just said, “Okay. Should I be stocking up on garlic?”

He laughed. “Only if you want to be unpopular. There are certain plants, though, that might help you. Like vervain. That’s an herb that’s supposed to protect you against bewitchment, and it can keep your mind clear even if someone is using Powers against you. People used to wear it around their necks. Bonnie would love it; it was sacred to the druids.”

“Vervain,” said Elena, tasting the unfamiliar word. “What else?”

“Strong light, or direct sunlight, can be very painful. You’ll notice the weather’s changed.”

“I’ve noticed,” said Elena after a beat. “You mean Damon’s doing that?”

“He must be. It takes enormous power to control the elements, but it makes it easy for him to travel in daylight. As long as he keeps it cloudy, he doesn’t even need to protect his eyes.”

“And neither do you,” Elena said. “What about—well, crosses and things?”

“No effect,” said Stefan. “Except that if the person holding one
believes
it’s a protection, it can strengthen their will to resist tremendously.”

“Uh … silver bullets?”

Stefan laughed again shortly. “That’s for werewolves. From what I’ve heard they don’t like silver in any form. A wooden stake through the heart is still the approved method for my kind. There are other ways that are more or less effective, though: burning, beheading, driving nails through the temples. Or, best of all—”

“Stefan!” The lonely, bitter smile on his face dismayed her. “What about changing into animals?” she said. “Before, you said that with enough Power you could do that. If Damon can be any animal he likes, how will we ever recognize him?”

“Not any animal he likes. He’s limited to one animal, or at the most two. Even with his Powers I don’t think he could sustain any more than that.”

“So we keep looking out for a crow.”

“Right. You may be able to tell if he’s around, too, by looking at regular animals. They usually don’t react very well to us; they sense that we’re hunters.”

“Yangtze kept barking at that crow. It was as if he knew there was something wrong about it,” Elena remembered. “Ah … Stefan,” she added in a changed tone as a new thought struck her, “what about mirrors? I don’t remember ever seeing you in one.”

For a moment, he didn’t answer. Then he said, “Legend has it that mirrors reflect the soul of the person who looks into them. That’s why primitive people are afraid of mirrors; they’re afraid that their souls will be trapped and stolen. My kind is supposed to have no reflection—because we have no souls.” Slowly, he reached up to the rearview mirror and tilted it downward, adjusting it so that Elena could look into it. In the silvered glass, she saw his
eyes, lost, haunted, and infinitely sad.

There was nothing to do but hold on to him, and Elena did. “I love you,” she whispered. It was the only comfort she could give him. It was all they had.

His arms tightened around her; his face was buried in her hair. “You’re the mirror,” he whispered back.

It was good to feel him relax, tension flowing out of his body as warmth and comfort flowed in. She was comforted, too, a sense of peace infusing her, surrounding her. It was so good that she forgot to ask him what he meant until they were at her front door, saying good-bye.

“I’m the mirror?” she said then, looking up at him.

“You’ve stolen my soul,” he said. “Lock the door behind you, and don’t open it again tonight.” Then he was gone.

“Elena, thank heavens,” said Aunt Judith. When Elena stared at her, she added, “Bonnie called from the party. She said you’d left unexpectedly, and when you didn’t come home I was worried.”