The Struggle (6 page)

Anyway, this is the official start of my new diary. I bought this blank book at the drugstore. It’s not as beautiful as the other one, but it will have to do. I’ve given up hope of ever seeing my old one again. Whoever stole it isn’t going to bring it back. But when I think of them reading it, all my inner thoughts and my feelings about Stefan, I want to kill them. While simultaneously dying of humiliation myself
.

I’m not ashamed of the way I feel about Stefan. But it’s private. And there are things in there, about the way it is when we kiss, when he holds me, that I know he wouldn’t want anybody else to read
.

Of course, it hasn’t got anything about his secret in it. I hadn’t found that out yet. It wasn’t until I did that I really understood him, and we got together, really together, at last. Now we’re part of each other. I feel as if I’ve been waiting for him all my life
.

Maybe you think I’m terrible for loving him, considering what he is. He can be violent, and I know there
are some things in his past that he’s ashamed of. But he could never be violent toward me, and the past is over. He has so much guilt and he hurts so much inside. I want to heal him
.

I don’t know what will happen now; I’m just so glad that he’s safe. I went to the boarding house today and found out that the police had been there yesterday. Stefan was still weak and couldn’t use his Powers to get rid of them, but they didn’t accuse him of anything. They just asked questions. Stefan says they acted friendly, which makes me suspicious. What all the questions really boil down to is: where were you on the night the old man was attacked under the bridge, and the night Vickie Bennett was attacked in the ruined church, and the night Mr. Tanner was killed at school?

They don’t have any evidence against him. So the crimes started right after he came to Fell’s Church, so what? That’s not proof of anything. So he argued with Mr. Tanner that night. Again, so what? Everybody argued with Mr. Tanner. So he disappeared after Mr. Tanner’s body was found. He’s back now and it’s pretty clear that he was attacked himself, by the same person who committed the other crimes. Mary told the police about the condition he was in. And if they ever ask us, Matt and Bonnie and Meredith and I can all testify
how we found him. There’s no case against him at all
.

Stefan and I talked about that, and about other things. It was so good to be with him again, even if he did look white and tired. He still doesn’t remember how Thursday night ended, but most of it is just as I suspected. Stefan went to find Damon Thursday night after he took me home. They argued. Stefan ended up half-dead in a well. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened in between
.

I still haven’t told him that I went looking for Damon in the graveyard Friday morning. I suppose I’d better do it tomorrow. I know he’s going to be upset, especially when he hears what Damon said to me
.

Well, that’s all. I’m tired. This diary is going to be well-hidden, for obvious reasons
.

Elena paused and looked at the last line on the page. Then she added:

P.S. I wonder who our new European History teacher will be
?

She tucked the diary under her mattress and turned out the light.

Elena walked down the hallway in a curious vacuum. At school she was usually peppered
with greetings from all sides; it was “hi, Elena,” after “hi, Elena,” wherever she went. But today eyes slid away furtively as she approached, or people suddenly became very busy doing something that required them to keep their backs to her. It had been happening all day long.

She paused in the doorway of the European History classroom. There were several students already sitting down, and at the chalkboard was a stranger.

He looked almost like a student himself. He had sandy hair, worn a little long, and the build of an athlete. Across the board he had written “Alaric K. Saltzman.” As he turned around, Elena saw that he also had a boyish smile.

He went on smiling as Elena sat down and other students filed in. Stefan was among them, and his eyes met Elena’s as he took his seat beside her, but they didn’t speak. No one was talking. The room was dead silent.

Bonnie sat down on Elena’s other side. Matt was only a few desks away, but he was looking straight ahead.

The last two people to come in were Caroline Forbes and Tyler Smallwood. They walked
in together, and Elena didn’t like the look on Caroline’s face. She knew that catlike smile and those narrowed green eyes all too well. Tyler’s handsome, rather fleshy features were shining with satisfaction. The discoloration under his eyes caused by Stefan’s fist was almost gone.

“Okay, to start off, why don’t we put all these desks in a circle?”

Elena’s attention snapped back to the stranger at the front of the room. He was still smiling.

“Come on, let’s do it. That way we can all see each other’s faces when we talk,” he said.

Silently, the students obeyed. The stranger didn’t sit at Mr. Tanner’s desk; instead, he pulled a chair to the circle and straddled it backward.

“Now,” he said, “I know you all must be curious about me. My name’s on the board: Alaric K. Saltzman. But I want you to call me Alaric. I’ll tell you a little more about me later, but first I want to give you a chance to talk.

“Today’s probably a difficult day for most of you. Someone you cared about is gone, and that must hurt. I want to give you a chance to open up and share those feelings with me and with your classmates. I want you to try to get in
touch with the pain. Then we can start to build our own relationship on trust. Now who would like to go first?”

They stared at him. No one so much as moved an eyelash.

“Well, let’s see … what about you?” Still smiling, he gestured encouragingly to a pretty, fair-haired girl. “Tell us your name and how you feel about what’s happened.”

Flustered, the girl stood. “My name’s Sue Carson, and, uh …” She took a deep breath and went doggedly on. “And I feel scared. Because whoever this maniac is, he’s still loose. And next time it could be me.” She sat down.

“Thank you, Sue. I’m sure a lot of your classmates share your concern. Now, do I understand that some of you were actually there when this tragedy occurred?”

Desks creaked as students shifted uneasily. But Tyler Smallwood stood up, his lips drawing back from strong white teeth in a smile.

“Most
of us were there,” he said, and his eyes flickered toward Stefan. Elena could see other people following his gaze. “I got there right after Bonnie discovered the body. And what I
feel is concern for the community. There’s a dangerous killer on the streets, and so far nobody’s done anything to stop him. And—” He broke off. Elena wasn’t sure how, but she felt Caroline had signaled him to do it. Caroline tossed back gleaming auburn hair and recrossed her long legs as Tyler took his seat again.

“Okay, thank you. So most of you were there. That makes it doubly hard. Can we hear from the person who actually found the body? Is Bonnie here?” He looked around.

Bonnie raised her hand slowly, then stood. “I
guess
I discovered the body,” she said. “I mean, I was the first person who knew that he was really dead, and not just faking.”

Alaric Saltzman looked slightly startled. “Not just faking? Did he often fake being dead?” There were titters, and he flashed that boyish smile again. Elena turned and glanced at Stefan, who was frowning.

“No—no,” said Bonnie. “You see, he was a sacrifice. At the Haunted House. So he was covered with blood anyway, only it was fake blood. And that was partly my fault, because he didn’t want to put it on, and I told him he had to do it.
He was supposed to be a Bloody Corpse. But he kept saying it was too messy, and it wasn’t until Stefan came and argued with him—” She stopped. “I mean, we talked to him and he finally agreed to do it, and then the Haunted House started. And a little while later I noticed that he wasn’t sitting up and scaring the kids like he was supposed to, and I went over and asked him what was wrong. And he didn’t answer. He just—he just kept staring at the ceiling. And then I touched him and he—it was terrible. His head just sort of
flopped.”
Bonnie’s voice wavered and gave out. She gulped.

Elena was standing up, and so were Stefan and Matt and a few other people. Elena reached over to Bonnie.

“Bonnie, it’s okay. Bonnie, don’t; it’s okay.”

“And blood got all over my hands. There was blood everywhere, so much blood …” She sniffed hysterically.

“Okay, time out,” Alaric Saltzman said. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to distress you so much. But I think you need to work through these feelings sometime in the future. It’s clear that this has been a pretty devastating experience.”

He stood up and paced around the center of the circle, his hands opening and shutting nervously. Bonnie was still sniffling softly.

“I know,” he said, the boyish smile coming back full force. “I’d like to get our student- teacher relationship off to a good start, away from this whole atmosphere. How about if you all come around to my place this evening, and we can all talk informally? Maybe just get to know each other, maybe talk about what happened. You can even bring a friend if you want. How about it?”

There was another thirty seconds or so of staring. Then someone said, “Your place?”

“Yes … oh, I’m forgetting. Stupid of me. I’m staying at the Ramsey house, on Magnolia Avenue.” He wrote the address on the board. “The Ramseys are friends of mine, and they loaned me the house while they’re on vacation. I come from Charlottesville, and your principal called me Friday to ask me if I could take over here. I jumped at the chance. This is my first real teaching job.”

“Oh, that explains it,” said Elena under her breath.

“Does it?” said Stefan.

“Anyway, what do you think? Is it a plan?” Alaric Saltzman looked around at them.

No one had the heart to refuse. There were scattered “yeses” and “sures.”

“Great, then it’s settled. I’ll provide the refreshments, and we’ll all get to know each other. Oh, by the way …” He opened a grade book and scanned it. “In this class, participation makes up half your final grade.” He glanced up and smiled. “You can go now.”

“The nerve of him,” somebody muttered as Elena went out the door. Bonnie was behind her, but Alaric Saltzman’s voice called her back.

“Would the students who shared with us please stay behind for a minute?”

Stefan had to leave, too. “I’d better go check about football practice,” he said. “It’s probably canceled, but I’d better make sure.”

Elena was concerned. “If it’s not canceled, do you think you’re feeling up to it?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said evasively. But she noticed that his face still looked drawn, and he moved as if he were in pain. “Meet you at your locker,” he said.

She nodded. When she got to her locker, she saw Caroline nearby talking to two other girls. Three pairs of eyes followed Elena’s every move as she put away her books, but when Elena glanced up, two of them suddenly looked away. Only Caroline remained staring at her, head slightly cocked as she whispered something to the other girls.

Elena had had enough. Slamming her locker, she walked straight toward the group. “Hello, Becky; hello, Sheila,” she said. Then, with heavy emphasis: “Hello, Caroline.”

Becky and Sheila mumbled “hello” and added something about having to leave. Elena didn’t even turn to watch them slink away. She kept her eyes on Caroline’s.

“What’s going on?” she demanded.

“Going on?” Caroline was obviously enjoying this, trying to draw it out as long as possible. “Going on with who?”

“With you, Caroline. With everybody. Don’t pretend you’re not up to something, because I know you are. People have been avoiding me all day as if I had the plague, and you look like you just won the lottery. What have you done?”

Caroline’s expression of innocent inquiry slipped, and she smiled a feline smile. “I told you when school started that things were going to be different this year, Elena,” she said. “I warned you your time on the throne might be running out. But it isn’t
my
doing. What’s happening is simply natural selection. The law of the jungle.”

“And just what
is
happening?”

“Well, let’s just say that going out with a murderer can put a cramp in your social life.”

Elena’s chest tightened as if Caroline had hit her. For a moment, the desire to hit Caroline back was almost irresistible. Then, with the blood pounding in her ears, she said through clenched teeth, “That isn’t true. Stefan hasn’t done anything. The police questioned him, and he was cleared.”

Caroline shrugged. Her smile now was patronizing. “Elena, I’ve known you since kindergarten,” she said, “so I’ll give you some advice for old times’ sake: drop Stefan. If you do it right now you might just avoid being a complete social leper. Otherwise you might as well buy yourself a little bell to ring in the street.”

Rage held Elena hostage as Caroline turned
and walked away, her auburn hair moving like liquid under the lights. Then Elena found her tongue.

“Caroline.” The other girl turned back. “Are you going to go to that party at the Ramsey house tonight?”

“I suppose so. Why?”

“Because I’ll be there. With Stefan. See you in the jungle.” This time Elena was the one to turn away.

The dignity of her exit was slightly marred when she saw a slim, shadowed figure at the far end of the hallway. Her step faltered for an instant, but as she drew closer she recognized Stefan.

She knew the smile she gave him looked forced, and he glanced back toward the lockers as they walked side by side out of the school.

“So football practice was canceled?” she said.

He nodded. “What was that all about?” he said quietly.

“Nothing. I asked Caroline if she was going to the party tonight.” Elena tilted back her head to look at the gray and dismal sky.

“And that’s what you were talking about?”

She remembered what he had told her in his room. He could see better than a human, and hear better, too. Well enough to catch words spoken down forty feet of corridor?