The Stranger's Woes (26 page)

“Well, what are we going to do now?” I said.

“We are going to eat. Have breakfast. In short, we’re going to stuff ourselves. We’ll wait for the lads, we’ll shift all the worries of this Refuge for the Mad onto their able shoulders, and we’ll go to my house. You will go off to the Land of Nod. I’ll sing you a lullaby. Maba has promised to hum along, so there’s absolutely nothing to fear. After our musical accompaniment, you’ll wake up just where you’re supposed to, I guarantee it.”

“I don’t doubt that,” I said smiling. “But what then? Will you and Maba sit next to me and hold my hand every time I go to sleep? You’re going to get tired of that pretty quick, I’m sure.”

“No, no, no. A problem like this has to be resolved once and for all. If this place has its eye on you, it’s not going to let you go just like that. There’s only one way out of the dilemma: you have to go there with an experienced guide. You’ll pass through this fantastic labyrinth, look behind all the Doors, see the Worlds that they conceal, and learn to distinguish them by light and smell. What I mean to say is that you will have a map at your disposal. If the Corridor between Worlds beckons you again, you won’t be an unhappy victim but a cheerful voyager, and you yourself will choose where to go. You will decide yourself when you wish to return. I think it will be a grand adventure. You really are very lucky, Max. I know quite a few powerful people who for centuries tried to go there, but it didn’t want to receive them. But you it welcomes with open arms. Many Grand Magicians of old would be very jealous, if they only knew.”

“The idea does have its appeal. But what then?” I asked again. “Am I doomed to go to that place again every time I fall asleep? To the Corridor between Worlds? And what about my other dreams? Maybe they’re paltry ones in comparison with the infinity of new Worlds, but I still don’t want to lose them. I don’t want to lose anything, Juffin.”

“If you don’t want to, you won’t,” the boss said. “You still don’t understand, Max. You won’t be the
prisoner
of this strange place. You’ll become its
master
. Do you still not fathom what that means?”

“Do
you
?” I said with a sinking heart.

“Yes. I know my way around there quite well. So I know what I’m talking about. Eat, Sir Max. Life is wonderful!”

I bent my head over my plate obediently. I had definitely worked up an appetite. What’s true is true.

Half an hour later, a weary Sir Kofa joined us.

“Well, did the Magaxon Foxes suffer a total rout, my boy?” he said heartily. “It seems you played your hand very skillfully.”

“You think so?” I was flattered. In contrast to Juffin, Sir Kofa was very sparing with his compliments.

“That’s what I say. What I really think is my own business, right?” said the Master Eavesdropper, grinning. Then he grew more serious. “The whole city talks of nothing else. And will talk of nothing else for who knows how long. It’s a cause célèbre. Is it true that you lugged a bag with the head of Red Jiffa to the Ministry? The Echo dwellers are sure that you plan to hang it on display outside your house. They think it’s your custom back there in the Barren Lands.”

“Good morning, gentlemen.” Lonli-Lokli appeared at the door and looked at me attentively, then shook his head. “So my premonitions didn’t deceive me?” he asked. “You look pretty disheveled.”

“At least I’m alive.”

“I should hope so.” Shurf sat down next to me and filled his mug with kamra.

“Have you been scarfing for a long time, or are you just starting?” Melifaro said, sticking his head into the office. “Anyway, I want some, too. I’m as tired as all get-out. Max, did you really schlep the head of that poor guy back with you? Do you really think that’s funny? Personally, I think you’ve gone too far”

I sighed, and Juffin and Kofa laughed with sardonic glee.

“But do you know where the plunder of the Magaxon Foxes was?” Melifaro said proudly. “Mr. Nightmare, you’re going to eat your skaba!”

“I can guess.” It suddenly dawned on me. “In their amobiler, right? They planned to hightail it out of Echo forever. Of course Sir Atva packed up his loot for the escape. What a nitwit I am! It never even occurred to me to search their sinning buggy. How did you find out? Did you already have time to drive to the Magaxon Forest and back? Pardon me for not believing you.”

“Like I don’t have better things to do than traipse back and forth to the Magaxon Forest. It was the forester who found it—that character Sir Chvaxta. I figure he filled his own pockets with the loot and sent me a call afterward. That’s just what I’d expect from him. But never mind, he’s got a reward coming to him for his good deed, in any case.”

Melifaro fell silent, plunked down in the armchair, and began chomping loudly on some crisp pastries. I carried on with my self-reproach.

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Max. You can’t hold it against a person who was nearly killed twice over,” Juffin said. “You probably didn’t even remember about the plunder, did you?”

“I remembered once, and I even asked Jiffa where it was, but I forgot about it almost immediately.”

“Well, don’t worry. You’ve got to trip up sometime. Otherwise, you’ll become so insufferably perfect that no one will want to have anything to do with you.” Juffin got out of his chair and stood up decisively. “Let’s go, Max.”

“Okay.” I stood up and stretched luxuriously. “Good morning, guys.” I went to the door but turned around just before I reached it. “Thanks for being who you are. Without you my life would just be one big blunder.”

I felt a lump rising to my throat, so I rushed out into the corridor. Juffin caught up with me by the entrance to the building.

“Way to go, Max. You’ve got to say some things out loud from time to time.”

Sir Juffin Hully’s amobiler was already waiting for us outside. Old Kimpa was sitting at the levers. I could relax. They wouldn’t let me sit behind these levers at any price.

On the drive home we didn’t say a word. Juffin seemed to be having a conversation in Silent Speech with some distant interlocutor. I wanted to get the impending improbable adventure over with. If I couldn’t wriggle out of it, well then, the sooner the better.

“Welcome, Sir Max.” Juffin made a comic bow, throwing the door to the bedroom wide open. I froze for a moment in the doorway and marched into the room. What would be, would be.

With that I quickly undressed and settled down comfortably under the fur blanket. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. The fair amount of Elixir of Kaxar I had downed didn’t seem to make a bit of difference. I was dead tired. After a few minutes of pleasant hovering between sleep and wakefulness, I conked out.

I still can’t make sense of what I dreamed about to this day. I remember a number of disconnected episodes, but I can’t make them cohere into a single picture. Not anymore, at least.

I glimpsed a multitude of Worlds, some real and some that disappeared long ago. And some that exist only in the imaginations of particular beings, living or dead. Worlds that looked like familiar realities, like vestiges of dreams when I first wake up, like delirious visions, and sometimes like nothing I had ever seen before. In one of the dream places I met Red Jiffa. I think I sought him out myself because I was very eager to find out whether he was all right. I don’t remember the details of our encounter, but Jiffa looked like a person who was absolutely happy with his lot.

I took a look around the World where I was born, too. I discovered that it wasn’t any better, nor was it any worse, than any other. It just was what it was. I didn’t attach any special significance to my short visit home. I didn’t attach much significance to anything while I was there. I was in a wonderful state of mind: I didn’t really feel like a human being but like a light, cool, disembodied breeze that penetrated the cracks of the flimsy Doors between Worlds.

At last I felt I had had my fill of solitude and new impressions. I had grown tired of the endless wandering, and I wanted to go home to Echo. I discovered that I already knew how to find the necessary door. I opened it, and woke up.

For a while I just lay still without opening my eyes. Lively little spots of sunlight seemed to be dancing a jig on my eyelids. I considered what I should do—pull the blanket up over my head or wake up to the world once and for all? I decided on the latter as the more promising option.

I opened my eyes and blinked, trying to get used to the daylight. Then I looked around me. The room didn’t look like Juffin’s bedroom, where I had recently fallen asleep. It was too small and had only one window, but it was very, very familiar. Finally I realized where I was. It was my own bed in my old bedroom. My first apartment on the Street of Old Coins, which I had since moved out of for purely sentimental reasons. Great, but the new owners might be rather distressed by this!