The Stranger Inside (21 page)

“Do you understand this?” the lady asked. “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

Shaking uncontrollably, I shook my head as she handed back the ring.

“I don’t understand, though,” I choked out. “I need to know more.”

She shook her head. “That is all for now.”

No. That couldn’t be all now. I needed to know more. Now. I gazed at Sawyer pleadingly. “I’ll pay you back.”

He rubbed his chin, looking conflicted. I could tell he was torn. He didn’t believe in this stuff, didn’t want to be scammed. But I’d told him what Kenzie wrote, about Dad doing it to protect me. Even Sawyer—skeptical, unbelieving Sawyer—had to admit, this lady seemed for real.

Finally, with a sigh, Sawyer fished a twenty out of his pocket. But as he tried handing the lady his money, she grabbed his palm, clasping it tight between hers.

Sawyer stared at her wide eyed, like
What the
… ?

“Someone you loved died violently as well,” she said. “Your … mother?”

Sawyer snatched his hand away, his money too, rising to his feet. “Okay, that’s enough. We’re done.”

***

“Jodi, the lady’s a scam,” Sawyer said on the way home from The Read Palm, our plans for The Pancake House totally forgotten. “My mom didn’t die. She wasn’t murdered. She was having an affair and she ran off. That lady—Miss Read Palm—she’s good, I’ll admit it. She had me going for a second. But, Jodi, she’s a hustler.”

I wasn’t so sure. “How did she know all that stuff about my dad?”

Sawyer shrugged, then shook his head. “I don’t know. I really don’t. It’s a class ring—she probably saw the date and put it together, figured it was your dad’s. And you wouldn’t have the ring if he wasn’t dead. He’d still be wearing it.”

I sat back, still not convinced. “How would she know he supposedly killed himself? And that he did it to protect me?”

“Jodi, he
didn’t
do it to protect you—he was crazy.”

I flinched and Sawyer immediately used a softer tone. “Jodi—scammers like that, they feed off your reactions. I don’t know how it works, I don’t know how she came up with what she did. But she tried using the exact same line on me.”

“Yeah.” I sighed.

We rode for a while in silence. “Sawyer, how do you know your mom was having an affair?”

He set his jaw. “I heard her on the phone—a couple times, talking to the guy.” Seeming to relive the moment, he exhaled. “And I heard Dad arguing with her about it right before she left. Dad said she had to choose; it was either him or the other guy. But Mom said it wasn’t fair that he was making her choose because he was never home, never around for her.” Sawyer sounded bitter. “If Dad hadn’t made her choose, she wouldn’t have left. She’d still be here.”

“Who was the guy?”

Sawyer shrugged. “I have no idea. I don’t think Dad knew either. It’s been all these years, but we never talk about it, ever. I know he feels guilty. She was begging him to be around more, begging him to stay, but he left that night, went on patrol for three months.” Sawyer bit his lip. “If he just hadn’t made her choose …”

I sat back, The Read Palm lady’s words still haunting my brain.
“He killed himself to save you. How could this be?”
She had genuinely seemed confounded, like she didn’t understand the information she received—but she
had
actually received it.

 “You’re positive your mom left willingly?”

Sawyer glanced over at me like he didn’t get what I was saying. “Yeah. She left me a note and everything. Jodi, she chose the other guy.”

There was pain in his voice. I knew I should drop it, knew the subject hurt him. But I needed to know—know for sure. Because the Read Palm Lady didn’t seem to be a scam artist. Not to me.

“What did the note say?”

Sawyer set his jaw, then shrugged, like he was trying not to care. “That she was sorry she had to leave me—that was about it. It was her writing, though. It was from her. I saw it in the morning when I got up. It was tapped to my mirror in the bathroom.”

We sat silent a long time. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Sawyer could tell. “Jodi, she left. She wasn’t murdered. She packed a suitcase—took her passport. She
left
.”

When I got home, there was a message waiting for me from Grey. Sawyer and I had re-written the email message to him yesterday. Sawyer had pushed the send button, and it actually went. We know because we checked the “sent mail” and everything. We weren’t taking any chances. Not this time.

Grey’s reply was simple:

Jodi, hold on. I’ll find out what I can.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I was trying to do that—hold on.

CHAPTER 18

I had to go to the office. Again. They couldn’t get my transfer records straight. Sawyer guided me over to the assistant receptionist, Ms. Baker. He avoided Mrs. Daniels as much as possible. But when “The Hag” saw Sawyer, she glared at him anyway. It was bizarre.

“You really don’t know why she hates you?”

“No clue,” he said.

Oh well, Ms. Baker loved him. “How you doing, Sawyer?” The lady beamed at him before turning her attention to me. While Ms. Baker went to look up my records, Hanna came into the office. She was distracted, so she didn’t notice me. Instead, she rushed over to Mrs. Daniels.

Mrs. Daniels was all friendly and helpful to Hanna—like she was an actual human being. I didn’t get it. Why’d she hate Sawyer?

“No,” I heard Hanna say. “I can’t transfer to Mr. Daniels’ class. I can’t.”

Mrs. Daniels blanched. “Why? Did he …
do
something to you?”

Whoa. I looked over at Sawyer. He raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Daniels is her husband,” he whispered in my ear.

Oh. I hadn’t actually put that together—
Mr
. Daniels, my chemistry teacher, was married to
Mrs
. Daniels. Innnnteresting.

Hanna, shook her head, looking even more upset—like she didn’t want to explain. At all. Like she’d rather bite off her tongue. “I don’t even know him. I just can’t be in his class. I can’t.”

Mrs. Daniels looked quizzical, but then seemed to accept that. She patiently worked on Hanna’s schedule, giving her Mrs. Anchor for chemistry, third period.

“Thanks.”

Hanna walked away, seeming relieved. Until she saw me. Then she paled. And her eyes grew big, super wide with fright. She practically plowed into another student as she bolted for the door.

I watched her run, feeling chilled. Hanna looked at me exactly how I looked at the shadows—terrified.

***

 Gross! I was heaving over a toilet. Purple foaming sludge splattered up into my face and around the rim of the bowl as I hurled again and again. My body wrenched, trying to purge more toxins, but nothing more emerged. Someone was beside me, gently holding back my hair, keeping it out of my face. I would have appreciated the gesture—I would have—only I was too nauseous to even care. I heaved again violently, but there was nothing left in my stomach.

“You’re okay,” murmured the person soothingly. He let go of my hair, gently brushing his fingers through it, then softly washed my face with a warm cloth. I was too exhausted to fully dwell on it, but the person was Jeremy. He was being so tender, kind, I couldn’t help it, I was jealous of Kenzie. Was he always this gentle with her, this sweet?

He brushed away the tears that fell down my face, taking me in his arms, rocking me gently. It was comforting.

My mind was beginning to focus, though I didn’t really want it to. It was nice being like this—with Jeremy, not knowing why, or how, just being. But we were sitting on the cold tile of Sawyer’s bathroom and I couldn’t help wondering how we got here, or where Sawyer was. Still, I was too dazed to work up much curiosity. Instead I just took simple pleasure in being held tenderly by Jeremy.

Slowly, I gained presence of mind, remembered my last conscious thoughts. We had been at a party. The Clutch was playing there. That’s the last thing I remembered. “Why am I so sick?” I groaned, still clinging to Jeremy, my head resting on his chest.

“Wine,” he answered softly, as he played with my hair. “Lots of wine.”

“I’m Jodi,” I confessed, wishing I didn’t have to, wishing I could just let him keep thinking I was still Kenzie so I could stay wrapped in his arms.

“I know,” he said softly, kissing the top of my head.

A tear slid down my face. He blotted the tear away with his T-shirt. Another one escaped right after. And another. Jeremy handed me a tissue, still holding me in his arms. Reluctantly, I pulled away from him, dabbing at my eyes, wiping my nose. The room tilted in an odd angle. I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. “Where’s Sawyer?”

“Crashed out. Zack and Micah too.”

 “I got drunk, huh?”

“We all did.” He leaned his head back against the wall, looking tired. Exhausted. Yet he’d stayed up with Kenzie, took care of her.

I watched him close his eyes, then I got brave enough to ask, “You like Kenzie a lot, huh?”

“Well,” he kept his eyes shut, but a lazy smile crept across his lips, “she’s really good looking.”

I blushed, happy at his answer. Too happy. Using the sink for support, I rose to my feet. “I don’t suppose you’d tell me what we did tonight,” I said as I looked at my frightful image in the mirror.

“We partied.” He stayed leaning against the bathroom wall, making no move to get off the floor.

“Could you do me a favor?” Really, I had a bunch of favors I wanted to ask him—the main being, could he stay away from Kenzie. But I couldn’t bring myself to actually ask it aloud. Instead I said, “Could you not let Kenzie drink? I mean, this is my body.”

Jeremy gave a small smile at that. “I’ll try.”

I got out Sawyer’s toothbrush, and squeezed some paste on, then some more. I brushed, and re-brushed my teeth, trying to get the awful taste out of my mouth. Jeremy sat on the floor watching me, and I wondered if he remembered that he brushed my teeth for me before. I’d broken my arm when I accidently rode my bike into a ditch. The next morning, I was sore all over and couldn’t use my right arm. So Jeremy got me ready that day.

He’d washed my hair, brushed my teeth, and helped me get dressed. He even chose the clothes that I was going to wear. The memory made me laugh, and then cry. Still, he just sat on the floor, watching me. I think he knew all the strange, mixed up feelings he stirred in me. I think maybe I stirred the same confused feelings in him.

I sighed. “What’s Kenzie like?”

He gave a tiny smile, then shook his head. “I don’t know. I really don’t. She’s not you, though. She has this whole other story. Like, she used to be poor—really poor.”

I tilted my head, sort of shocked. I’d given myself a whole different history. How creepy.

Jeremy gave a little laugh. “That’s it, though. She doesn’t really like to talk.”

I flushed, figuring I knew what she liked to do instead of talking. “Could you maybe—not hang around her?”

He leaned his head back on the wall. “Don’t ask me that.”

We were silent a moment, then he got up and said, “Come on. It’s late.”

He helped make me a bed on the couch and I snuggled up in a blanket, needing to get rid of the chills being Kenzie always caused, the violent shivers that seeped through my body.

“Goodnight.” Jeremy kissed me softly on the cheek. For a moment our eyes met. We were so close, it seemed he was going kiss me, kiss me for real. But then, he didn’t. He took a few steps back instead. But he didn’t leave. Or take his eyes off me.

“Jodi, I can’t push her away. But I’ll watch over her okay? I won’t let her drink or smoke or get into trouble. But you can’t ask me to push her away. I’m not programmed to say no—not when she looks like you … smells like you.”

It seemed he was going to go on, say more. But he didn’t, he stopped himself and shook his head. He backed away even further. “Goodnight Jodi.” His eyes lingered on me a moment, then he turned out the light and left the room.

Of course I cried when he left. I always cried when he left.

***

I tossed around, tangled in my sheets.

Daddy’s all bloody. He shows me his heart. “I did it for you.”

He uses the blood to write on the wall.

“Watch out for the shadows!”

CHAPTER 19

It was good that I had the band to help me out—to guard me from other people. Help keep my secret. But how long could that last? They couldn’t be with me every moment of every day, though I wished they could.

Things were getting scary. Kenzie was popping up more and more. Yesterday she’d shown up at school. Luckily, Micah saw her walking around before anyone noticed. He saved me. He got the band together and I woke up at the park, under their protective care. I was still thinking about what would have happened if Micah hadn’t noticed Kenzie wandering around school, looking for Jeremy. Maybe she would have started hacking people up with an axe, shouting, “Where is he! Tell me where he is!” You know, like Dad looking for Kiki in my dream.

The thought made me shudder as I sat in the noisy cafeteria.

“Never again, Zack!”

Hearing the fight snapped out of my daze. It was Eve screaming at Zack. She tried to slap him, but Zack grabbed her wrist.

“Calm down,” he said levelly, then under his breath added, “Psycho woman.”

Eve clawed at his face, getting him good. Zack pushed her back, hard, just to get her away, but she stumbled back, into the mob of onlookers. For a moment it seemed she was going to go ballistic—start foaming at the mouth. But she didn’t. Instead she pushed past the crowd, heading for the cafeteria door, crying.

I looked over at Sawyer. He just shrugged. “That’s the way they are.”

Zack came over to our table, swearing. “I’m bleeding,” he said. He pulled his hand away from his neck, showing us the gouge Eve had made. “No more hell cats for me,” he said. “I mean it. I swear. The next girl I get is going to be sweet and nice—like Jodi.”