The Story of Lansing Lotte (39 page)

“Just what the hell are you doing?”

“You think I smell like another woman, and I’m telling you I wasn’t with Guinie, but I’m showering all the same.”

He unbuckled his jeans and let them slip to the floor. Standing before me, he filled out dark boxer briefs with his solid length. I was angry that he was excited, but I was also strangely turned on. He was a teenage dream. Clean cut, firm body, and those longish bangs. I never wanted to jump someone as badly as I did in that moment, but I was still ready to punch him.

“You can’t shower here.”

“Why not? You’ve showered at my place.”

I was speechless for a moment as he bent forward and turned on the faucet giving me a full view of his tight ass in those snug briefs. I swallowed my attraction.

“That’s different,” I gasped.

“Why?” He paused. “You know what? It is different. Tonight, I shower here and we sleep here. Together.”

He put his hands on the edge of his briefs, holding my gaze for a moment. I swallowed hard and he smiled slowly, one side crooking up exposing that dimple again.

Damn it.

He was daring me to watch, and I almost gave in, but in my true childish form, at the moment, I stalked away. He left the door open and I heard him laugh. I climbed back into my bed, pulling the covers up over me and turning away from the bathroom. It seemed like only seconds and he was back. I heard the sheets move and felt the bed dip as he slipped in behind me. His hand slid up across my lower back and over to my belly. His chest pressed against my back and he tugged me into him.

“You can be mad at me tonight and try to ignore me. But I’m not going anywhere.”

He kissed my shoulder and I shrugged him off. He chuckled against my skin.

“You didn’t enjoy earlier.”

I didn’t respond.

“I enjoyed it,” he said. He smiled against my neck before he kissed me. His hand slid back and forth across my belly before heading to my hipbone.

“Lila, what are you wearing?” I heard him groan. I had on a silk nightie. It wasn’t a negligee, but more like a strappy night gown.

I still didn’t respond.

He continued to kiss my shoulder and my neck, then snuggled his nose through my hair.

“Not tonight. But I’m going to have you. And you’re going to have me, Lila. And nothing is going to distract us.”

My whole body was on high alert.

Nipples peaked, lower body moist, and my mouth watered. Warm kisses were enflaming the skin on my neck as I came awake. I wasn’t used to having a man spend the night. I’d actually never had that happen, so I was unprepared to be awakened in such a manner, and even less prepared for the voice that spoke.

“Lila, can I have something to eat?”

I pushed upward and Lansing came with me. Sitting up, he pulled the blankets to cover him, but his bare chest was still exposed. I stared at Fleur as if I was dreaming her standing at the end of my bed.

“Good morning, Mr. Lansing,” she said and giggled, despite the greenish-white of her face. Fleur still looked sickly, but I took her wanting to eat something as a good sign.

“Fleur, sweetheart, why don’t you go turn on the television. I’ll be out in just a minute, okay?”

Fleur nodded her head and exited my room.

I glanced over at Lansing, who was still watching the open door. He ran a hand over his face and started to laugh softly.

“Well,” he said, “good morning to you.”

I laughed too, as my body started to calm down. My heartbeat slowing and my momentary arousal dissipating. It was a good thing we had been interrupted because regardless of my body wanting to give into Lansing, my mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that he was here. In my bed. After being with Guinevere.

I was convinced he had sex with her again, as I slept restlessly next to him. I tried to slip out of my bed to dress for Fleur, when he caught my waist.

“Good morning,” he said to me, staring into my eyes. He was watching my face, examining me for something, but he must have decided he couldn’t find it and he let go.

“Coffee and eggs?” I asked, as I stood and bent over to pick up my leggings. When I turned back to look at Lansing, he was watching me again.

“Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?”

I laughed bitterly.

“You’re kidding, right?”

I wasn’t fishing for further compliments. I just wasn’t expecting his comment. I was never the gorgeous one. Sara was.

He stepped out of bed and crossed the floor in two steps. Before I knew it I was up against the wall.

“You are gorgeous,” he said again to me, forcing me to look him in the eye.

I wanted to believe him. I did. I was just a bit overwhelmed with his sudden interest. 

Before I could answer him, his mouth was on mine with tender, but inviting kisses that teased me. He leaned forward, pressing me further against the wall and deeper into him. He pulled back, almost as quickly as he started and looked at me.

“Good morning,” he whispered.

“Good morning,” I said in a voice I didn’t recognize. I sounded winded, breathless, and wanton. I did want him. I just didn’t think I could trust him.

He let me leave the room to tend to Fleur, and I was preparing myself for his exit. He was going to leave again, just like he did last night. We still hadn’t talked yet, and I felt like there was so much left unsaid between us.

He came out of my bedroom dressed and looked like a new man. He smiled genuinely and I couldn’t recall a time when he seemed so relaxed. So carefree. I felt both good and bad.  Good that I could witness it; bad that it wasn’t me that caused it.

I was on edge as I made coffee and eggs for us, and some dry toast for Fleur. I had a photo assignment, despite it being only a few days before Christmas. I needed to get ready. Clare said she would come down for a few hours as I didn’t want to move Fleur yet.

“What’s the plan for today?” Lansing said, as he clapped his hands and whipped down Fleur’s hair as she sat next to him on the couch.

“I have to work,” I answered back. When he didn’t respond, I thought he didn’t hear me, but I turned around and almost knocked into him.

“What do you mean you have to work? It’s almost Christmas.”

“Well, it isn’t Christmas yet, and I have an engagement.”

“Engagement? Where?”

Here it came, I thought. He didn’t trust me.

“I’ve been hired to cover a charity visit to Kingston Hospital. Janice George is visiting children and passing out presents. I was asked to come take some publicity shots.”

Lansing narrowed his eyes at me.

“I thought she was in rehab.”

“
Was
is the key word. Now she’s trying to change her image.”

He was silent for a moment.

“What about Fleur?”

“Clare is coming down.”

He hesitated for a second before he spoke.

“I could watch her?”

I couldn’t help it; I laughed.

“What’s so funny about that?”

“The last time you babysat for me, two different women traipsed through your apartment.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t think he could do it. His eyes fluttered and the sparkle died a bit. I’d hurt his feelings.

“Things are different now,” he said softly, and he trailed a finger around my face. I wanted to believe him.

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him as a friend to be here for Fleur, but images of Lansing with Guinevere came into my mind, and that old feeling slowly crept through me.

I trusted Lansing. I did. Just not as a lover, to me.

She didn’t trust me. I could see it in her eyes, but it didn’t matter to me. I had a lot to prove to her. She didn’t believe that I hadn’t been with Guinevere. I had to admit I wouldn’t have believed me either, except I knew the truth. I hadn’t. Guinie and I parted ways with me kissing only her forehead. I told her: “I love you, but not in this lifetime.” I had my chance and Fate stepped in the way – twice. I wasn’t going to lose my best friend because I took his girl. I was probably going to lose him because I slept with her, but I couldn’t keep her because her heart belonged to him. I needed my heart to belong to another.

I still had concerns about Lila, as well. We hadn’t talked yet. We desperately needed to clear the air about a few things. My body wasn’t exactly betraying me, but I needed to calm it down because it wanted Lila – truth or no truth – and that was no way to start things.

When I told her I was heading back to my place to grab a few items, she gave me another look that told me she didn’t believe I’d be back. She must have really believed it too, because I showed up to find Clare opening the door for me.

“Lansing?”

“Hey. I’m here to watch Fleur.”

Clare looked me up and down. She wasn’t coming onto me like older women do, she was sizing me up in other ways. She looked like she didn’t want to trust me, either.

I pushed past her slowly, letting her continue to gape at me. I found Fleur on the couch, set up for a day of television with a blanket over her, her pillows propping her up and a small plate with crackers and a mini-can of Seven-Up on a makeshift table. I took a second to really look around and realized that Lila’s apartment was sparse. Knowing she had just moved back in, ahead of schedule, and hadn’t had anything remaining after the fire, it was a miracle she had the two beds, a couch and a television. She needed more to make it her space again.

“Lansing?” her startled voice spoke behind me.

“I told you I’d be back,” I said, staring at her face. While she had been good at shutting down weeks ago around Thanksgiving, her face told a full story. She didn’t believe a word I said.

“I know…I just…I thought…last night…oh, never mind,” she muttered.

She hastily walked over to Fleur and knelt before her.

“I gotta go, Sweet Pea. Will you be okay with Clare or Mr. Lansing?”

Fleur only shook her head in response, her eyes entranced by something on the television. Lila kissed her forehead, brushed back her hair, and looked tenderly at Fleur. I might have been a bit jealous, if it wasn’t that Fleur was a sick child.

As Lila stood and headed for the door, I followed.

“Hey,” I said reaching for her arm. She stopped and turned toward me.

“I’m going to prove you wrong.”

“What?” she asked, her face full of questions.

“I’m going to prove you wrong. That’s all I’m saying.” I leaned in and kissed her cheek, then rubbed my nose along her neck. I heard her groan softly. I was thrilled that she wasn’t completely closed off to me. She wanted me, too.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, as she pulled back. It was more of a question than a statement.

She would, as I was never more determined to prove that I was a good guy, after all.

I questioned his change in behavior. He had always been a bit attentive, and had a tendency to get into my space. I continued to think back to him holding me as we slept. He wrapped over me, holding my hip and letting his hand slip to my stomach. If I moved in the slightest, he pulled me closer to him. I wondered what he dreamt of. I hoped it was me and not Guinevere.

My concentration was unfocused as I followed Janice George, one of the best female voices of the modern age, through the children’s department of Kingston Hospital. She seemed gracious enough as she greeted nurses, hugged parents, and held children. She smiled at the patients and the idea was to catch her in candid moments of compassion. The visit lasted only an hour. I was supposed to submit the images to her PA by that afternoon for approval, and then immediate release. The check would help with the new furniture I needed. Will Galehaut had already been generous in purchasing me two beds, plus the couch and television, but we needed a few more things. I wanted Christmas to be special for Fleur, so I was holding off on more items until the after-holiday sales.

I was getting ready to exit the children’s ward when I noticed an older gentleman enter a stairwell by the main entrance. It shouldn’t have seemed strange. There were tons of older gentlemen in a hospital, but that one was vaguely familiar. I don’t know what made me do it, but I followed him. It was one of the craziest things I’d ever done. He went up three flights before he exited. A special scan key was needed to enter the section. I was just about to return down the flights when the door opened again. I grabbed it, clearly expecting to be told I couldn’t enter the floor, but the maintenance man only passed without acknowledging me.