The Sound of Shooting Stars (27 page)

When class is over I lurch for the door but hear Sam’s tiny voice call out my name from behind. It causes my footing to falter but I continue on out the door. It takes everything in me not to turn back around and explain how sorry I am that this is happening. She is suddenly alone as I had been for so long. Now she doesn’t even have Jake and it’s all because of her mother.

When I enter the cafeteria I steer to a table in the corner and pull out my phone ready to text Beckett but movement through the doorway grabs my attention. Sam is walking in sandwiched between Dani and Trina. Her arms are entwined with theirs. They are laughing as if they’ve been friends forever. The shock of it hangs before me as I watch each girl find a spot at the middle table. Dani leans over Brett giving him a sloppy kiss before settling into his side. A frown creases my brow at the realization of all of this. I stare at Sam willing her to look at me so I can question her but she avoids my gaze. She must know this is all wrong. She has to see what Beckett and I have seen in Dani all along.

Disgusted with the whole scene I get up and stalk across the room. Before I make it to the door Trina crosses my path. Her hands settle on my shoulders invading my space. I take a step away out of her grasp. Her lips turn in a pout as she whines, “Jamie, Beckett is old news. You should come and sit with us. Sam is over there. Come and sit with me.” She attempts to grab my hand but I pull away and move around her to the door. Why would Sam even bother, knowing that Dani slept with Jake? I look around remembering that I didn’t see Jake today. He isn’t in the room.

Once outside I look down at my phone still enclosed in my hand. A text from Beckett lights the screen:

Sorry Jamie, I’ve been suspended for 3 days because of the video. L

I assumed something like this was the case since she isn’t here. I debate telling her about Sam and Dani but decide it’s better to tell her when I get home.
Home
, I sink to the nearest bench when that thought hits me. In a very short time, I’ve come to think of this as home. Even with all of this crap at school, this is my home now.

I text her back:

Can you pick me up after school?

Of course, <3 you!

A smile creeps to my lips at her text. Who would have thought a simple sideways heart could elicit such emotion? I think Beckett has finally rid herself of Hyde, only Jekyll remains and I like that prospect.

So many things are running through my head but one thought is clear above all others, this is home now and more than anything, I want to keep it. I gather my bag and start to head back into the building as the bell signaling the end of lunch rings. A short time ago my sights were set on enduring the year and moving on. Now I have a vested interest and damned if I’m going to let her suffer. Dani needs to come down from that pedestal.

***

I make my way to the door as my last class ends. Through the glass doors I can see Beckett’s car in a spot waiting for me. I didn’t realize how much I missed her until I saw her car. A voice behind me calls out before I reach the doors. It’s Sam’s. Reluctantly I turn to face her. The features across her small round face are unreadable until she steps forward. A mixture of anger and hurt surface. As I look around I see Dani and Trina not far behind leaning against the wall and other faces watching to see what will happen.

I stutter, “Sam, I can’t talk to you.”

She moves closer still ignoring my uneasiness.

“Did you know?”

Confusion crowds my mind, “Know what?”

“That it was Beckett? She planned for Jake and Dani to sleep together. She set them up.”

My eyes avert to look behind her meeting Dani’s amused stare. I look back to Sam and nod.

Fury fills her face. “I can’t believe you knew and now you’re…Are you sleeping with Beckett now? How could you?”

Involuntarily I take step forward and explain, “Sam, it’s not what you…”

She cuts me off, “It is exactly what I think. Maybe my mom is right. Maybe you are beyond damaged and I should stay away. You’ll do nothing but hurt me.”

I flinch at her words and step back.
Damaged
. Before I can say anything another voice calls down the hall from the door. I turn to see Beckett. Her hair is pulled tightly at the nape of her neck. She’s dressed in a purple flowered sundress with brown flip flops on her feet. Alarm at seeing her runs through me.

Sam claims, “There is the bitch right now. Jamie, I never want to see you again.”

I look back to watch Sam walk over to Dani. She looks over her shoulder at me a tear running down her cheek as Dani moves her arm around Sam’s shoulders.

Beckett’s gasp brings my attention back to the other end of the hall with a slam of the door following her retreating figure. I’m torn unable to move. A part of me wants to tear Sam away from Dani and explain to her that it’s not true but as I realize what she said, it is. Beckett set out to destroy Dani and managed to hurt Sam in the process. The other part of me wants to go after Beckett and console her. I know seeing Sam with Dani was a shock to her. But I’m frozen unable to make a move in either direction.

Mr. Philips soon makes the decision for me. He walks up and asks, “Jamie, did I just see Beckett back on campus?”

I nod telling him in a robotic tone that sounds nothing like my voice, “Yes, she came to pick me up.”

“Well, you will have to find a new way home tomorrow. Please relay the message that she is not allowed on campus while she is suspended.”

I nod and my feet seem to move of their own accord. I walk out into the heat suddenly feeling suffocated by everything that just happened. As I climb into the passenger side small muffled cries fill the space. I want to grab her hand and console her but I feel sad for Sam that Beckett could have hurt her the way she did. She doesn’t make a move to reverse so I ask, “Do you want me to drive?”

She looks up, tears filling her eyes. She looks so helpless. I’ve never seen her this way. She nods her head and grabs my hand as she pleads, “Please tell me Sam isn’t hanging out with Dani and Trina now.”

I pull my hand away and leave the space. We pass each other without a word and I drive us home with the silence distancing us even more. When I put the car into park I turn to her and ask, “Is there more to all of this? I don’t think you’ve told me everything.”

She looks out the window at the water glistening in the sun like tiny diamonds and nods.

I climb out and ready myself for whatever else there is. Beckett has never been forthcoming with information for as long as I’ve known her. This time though, I will get the whole story.

Once we’re out of the car I suggest, “Let’s go down to the dock and you can explain everything to me.”

She doesn’t respond. She just follows me down to the water’s edge.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Beckett Chase

Delphinus- The Dophin

When Poseidon courted the nymph Amphitrite, she resisted his advances and took refuge among her sisters. Poseidon sent messengers to find her and bring her to him, among them a dolphin. The dolphin found the nymph, soothed her and brought her back to the god. The two were later married.

~*~

As I follow Jamie down to the dock I feel like I’m walking through syrup. My feet want to move the other way but I guide them reluctantly to my doom. It’s not as if I didn’t tell Jamie everything on purpose, the most opportune moment never presented itself. I guess my moment is now and every bit of my body is protesting. Will he hate me and want nothing more to do with me? I hope to God not. I’ve finally found something in my life that I want to hold onto,
someone
real that I can be myself with. I’ll do whatever I have to so that I don’t lose him.

He slides down a piling to sit against it with one leg swinging off of the edge of the planks. I admire his muscular arms peeking out of his rolled up sleeves. His set jaw and unwavering eyes tell me he won’t take anything but the truth.

I angle across from him against another piling and cross my legs at the ankles in front of me, pulling my short dress down as far as it will go, barely grazing my knees.

“Jamie, I want to confess something first before I start.”

He nods, “What is it?”

“I want you to know that meeting you has made things more simple to me, clearer I guess. I’ve done nothing my entire life except try to be the best, which always meant being on top. And with that, I’ve always done whatever I needed to do to get there.”

He asks, “At whatever cost?”

My reply is barely a whisper and my eyes divert to the water, “Yes.”

His tone goes soft, “Beckett, I understand what you are trying to tell me.  Please just tell me the truth, all of it.”

I take a deep breath and explain, “You know that Samantha and I were friends in middle school. We spent a lot of time together. I thought when we went to high school things would always be the same. But, well I don’t know. When Dani came it was as if she were a magnet. Everyone was drawn to her. She was different and I saw that if I didn’t get closer, I might lose what I had. A group of us grew up together, Brett, Brandon, Cara, Samantha, and a lot more. For a while we were all pretty tight. Dani changed it all. I started hanging out with her every day after school. I blew Sam off. For some reason Dani didn’t like Sam and I just accepted it. I know I should have stuck up for her but I didn’t.”

My voice goes silent for a moment as my shame becomes apparent. A small part of me feels a little lighter though, actually being able to voice this after so long.

I continue, “For a little while it was just Dani and I. Everyone just kind of accepted us as the leaders of the school and I felt like things couldn’t get any better. Sam had started dating Jake in ninth grade so when Dani came, I reasoned that she had Jake, she didn’t really need me anymore. Trina came last year and I always felt that we were a perfect trio. Now I know it was really always all about Dani. I didn’t see it back then though.”

“Then you came and I hated you. I hated that you were going to live in my house with my parents and you were going to make friends with my friends. But when Trina started to go after you something else happened. I was angry and I didn’t want her to be with you.
I
wanted to be with you. I fought it and told her to go for it but I knew I didn’t want her to. So when they saw us come up from the beach at the party a small part of me wanted that to be a signal for her to back off. It didn’t exactly work out the way I had hoped. It looked like I had done it again, like the thing that happened with Jake. I wasn’t expecting them to completely shun me. It pissed me off because I was here first before either of them. They took my spot and made me nothing. I didn’t know how to handle that. I’ve never been at the bottom before. And you weren’t talking to me so I had to do something.”

Jamie interrupts, “So you recorded Jake and Dani sleeping together.”

I nod in shame, “I did. But before that I orchestrated an email to go out to both of them to get them together. When we went to Gabe’s party, I realized they had already been together, probably for a long time. The email I sent probably didn’t have any effect.”

He is staring at me with the most intense gaze. I can’t gauge his reaction one way or the other.

I brace myself for the next part, “I just found out the other day when Trina cornered me in the bathroom that Dani slipped something into my drink at that party last year. She had planned the whole thing between Jake and me. He took advantage of me, Jamie, and she was in on it. I know my planning to get Dani back hurt Sam but I’m not sorry I did it. Jake is the only person I’ve ever slept with and I was fooled to believe that he actually cared about me but he never did.”

Tears start streaking down my cheeks. This is the first time I’ve admitted the truth about my first time and it hurts my heart so badly. Dani and Trina think they know and they are right but I’ve never actually admitted that I had never been with anyone before or again after that night. Jamie scoots closer and pulls me into him. He rubs my back in soothing circles.

“Beckett, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” His words and gentle voice make the tears flow more freely. But I feel so much better letting him know the whole thing. What he does at this point is up to him. I hope more than anything that he still wants to be with me.

He pulls away as my tears slow and wipes a thumb across my cheek. His lips quirk at the corners, “Beckett, I still love you. Nothing will change that.”

My heart flutters at his words and I lean in to kiss him lightly. His hand pulls my head in closer and he deepens the kiss. How did I get so lucky to find such an amazing person to love me so fully?

A clicking sound echoes on the planks under us forcing me to pull away. I look to the house to see Marla walking down the dock toward us. My body automatically pulls away from Jamie and I stand straightening my dress. She comes to a stop before me and looks down to Jamie who hasn’t moved and back to me. The expression on her face shows frustration but her voice comes out angry, “Beckett, you sat at that table the other night and stated that there is nothing going on between you two. I wouldn’t call this nothing.”