The Sound of Shooting Stars (25 page)

Marla looks over to me and pointedly asks, “Is this true Jamie? I saw you two holding hands. That is far from the hate emanating off of you two just last week.”

My eyes look away when I answer, “She’s right. Nothing is going on.”

Her voice seems relieved, “Good. The less complicated things are, the sooner we can put all of this behind us.”

Beckett speaks up, “I’m not hungry, can I be excused?”

Marla mutters, “Yes, go ahead,”  before turning to Michelle who is staring at me with a pained expression on her face.

She shifts to discuss the logistics of things with Michelle. My ears tune them out. After a minute, I get up and head through the kitchen. When I step out into the dim light of the setting sun, the heat envelopes me. My feet move swiftly to the dock as I replay everything that was said. Adoption, that word has been out of my grasp for years. I gave up hope a long time ago. Now at seventeen it is happening but at what cost? I’ve found Beckett, the star that shines brighter than everything. Will this cause me to lose her before we’ve even gotten a chance?

Chapter Thirty-Four

Beckett Chase

Triangulum Australe – The Southern Triangle

The three brightest stars in the constellation form an equilateral triangle.

~*~

I think today I got as close to heaven as I’ve ever been. The planetarium was absolutely amazing. And Jamie, well no words are necessary. I told him I think that I am falling for him. Actually I know I am. He is the most incredible person I have ever met. We spent the afternoon pointing out constellations in between sweet kisses. He challenged me in finding certain ones. David would be so proud. I was actually able to find a few of the constellations that David had showed me so many times when I was young. I was excited to tell him about it when we pulled into the drive but Marla was waiting for us at the door. I knew something was up when I saw the forlorn look on her face and the fact that she came to seek us out and give us crap about not calling. I just couldn’t prepare myself for what was about to go down.

I was alright through the whole conversation until my dad dropped the bomb about adopting Jamie. I looked down at the plate in front of me. I couldn’t seem to gather enough strength to look up. I could feel Jamie’s gaze on me and I wanted to assure him that it doesn’t matter but it does. Focusing on that plate kept me from leaping out of my chair and yelling at them that this is a terrible idea. My heart I think broke with those words. Then Marla demanded to know if something is going on between us. I had to make them all think that there is nothing between Jamie and I. There can’t and never will be. If he is adopted by my parents that will mean he will be my brother in the eyes of the law and everyone else. I can’t be with him. It took every ounce of strength in me not to break down in tears. When David finally left the room, I couldn’t take it any longer. My feet couldn’t carry me fast enough to my room before the damn broke. I threw myself onto my bed sobbing for the love I caught barely a glimpse of and will never have. It will always be there but completely untouchable, living down the hall from me. A part of me wants Michelle to take him away so we can have a normal relationship. But I know that’s not even possible. My parents have made their decision. Jamie will soon be a part of our family.

My lids start to fall as my energy seeps away. Visions from earlier in the day flit through my mind. Jamie casually reclined next to me under the stars with our hands entwined. His beautiful profile when I glanced over. The light tendrils of his lashes brushing against his cheeks when he closed his eyes and his long nose and full lips brushing against mine.

Ringing echoes through my room. I roll over onto my back and look up at the stars glittering in the dim moonlight emanating through my windows. My phone pipes up again. I reach for it on the bedside table barely glancing at it before hitting the answer button.

Brett’s booming voice vibrates through the speaker, “Beckett, what are you doing?”

I wipe a stray tear from the corner of my eye and look over at my clock. Seven thirty.

“Nothing.”

“Good, I’m coming over to get you.” Confusion floods my brain. Did I make plans with Brett?

“Um, why? What’s the occasion?”

“I just want to see you and we need to talk.” Brett is not a very good talker and I have no desire to see him.

“I, I don’t think so, can it wait until tomorrow?”

“Nope, I’m on my way. Make sure the gate is open for me.”

I hang up.
Shit.
I punch in the code for the gate and get up to splash cold water over my face and change out of my school uniform.

Twenty minutes later I am waiting impatiently on the front porch pacing back and forth. I know Jamie is still sitting on the dock. I saw him from my window, motionless in the moonlight. If I were a good person, I’d go out there and comfort him but I just can’t. And even worse, now Brett is coming over.

I continue to wear a path in the tile as the door opens beside me. I look up shocked to see Jamie step down to the porch. His face is pained and the blood pumping through my veins increases at the sight of him. At the same moment headlights shine in the curve of the driveway. I look over to see Brett’s black Jeep idling ten feet away. My eyes meet Jamie’s as he realizes who it is. His fists clench at his sides and he barks angrily, “What the hell Beckett.”

My eyes dart back and forth for a beat before I start to climb down the steps toward the jeep. I look back at Jamie’s torn expression and mutter, “I have to go.”

I feel completely rotten climbing up into the vehicle. I look over to see torment cross over Jamie’s face while we pull away from the house. My hands knot in my lap. I’ve royally fucked up. Actually, I continue to fuck things up.

Brett’s voice brings me out of my self-pity.

He grabs my hand and squeezes, “It’s good to see you.”

I frown looking over at him, my patience for this guy, completely lost, “You just saw me earlier today.”

“I know but I can’t get enough of seeing you.”

My hand moves away from him diverting to my hair in frustration.

“What is it you want Brett? I’m tired and we have school tomorrow.”

He maneuvers the Jeep into a spot at the beach and comes around as I’m climbing out. He tries to grab my hand but I avoid him.

“Really Brett, I’m not in the mood. What is so important that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“Okay Beckett, I get it. I’ve tried for how long now? A year, maybe longer. You just aren’t into me. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately and it isn’t fair to either of us.”

As his words hit the air, my heart takes a turn. Is Brett ‘breaking up’ with me? That lasted all of three days. Relief spreads through my middle. I was a tiny bit worried that he was going to try the shit he did before but I had to get away from the house. I was willing to risk it.

He continues, “I wanted to tell you that Dani is on a war path. She called me today offering sex in return for anything I could give her to destroy you.”

I settle into the soft sand suddenly out of energy to stand any longer. My hands dig in at my sides and the cool breeze from the ocean blows my hair across my face. He sits next to me cupping bits of sand in his own hands.

“Of course I told her no. I just wanted you to know that she’s going after you.”

My eyes move to the darkness in front of us. Wisps of white flicker against the sand with the rolling of the waves.  

“Thank you for letting me know.”

He adds grabbing my hand, “I think we need to break up Beckett. I can see that you aren’t happy and being around you when you don’t want me doesn’t help my ego.”

I think the shock from his words have made my heart stop. But a small smile forms on my mouth. I’m thankful for the dark so he can’t see it.

I feign sorrow, “Okay if that’s the way you want it.”

“Come on Beckett you know that isn’t what I want. But we can’t always have the things we want.”

His words mean more to me than he knows. Oh man, are those words so true.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Jamie Grey

Lyra – The Harp

Orpheus was known for his ability to charm even stones with his music, for his attempts to save his wife Eurydice from the underworld, and for being the harpist and companion of Jason and the Argonauts.

~*~

Watching Beckett leave with Brett made me want to hit something so bad. When they pulled away I walked out to the water’s edge and ended up punching a palm tree. The tree came away unharmed; I wish I could say the same for my fist. But I felt a tiny bit better being able to let my anger out. I can’t believe she left with him. I thought we had established how much we mean to each other today at the planetarium. Maybe this adoption thing has changed everything. She refused to look at meat dinner and denied anything was going on when Marla asked.

Fuck Beckett. I just want to shake her and tell her how much I love her all at once. After my fit in the yard I trudge back up to the house. The bright light in the kitchen reveals that my hand is a little bit worse off than I thought. Sasha spots it the moment I walk through the door.

“Oh my, Jamie, what happened?”

I collapse into a chair while she cleans it up. She mutters things under her breath about Beckett and me but I try to ignore her. As she is wrapping it in a bandage she stops and looks at me forcing my eyes to meet hers.

“Jamie, everything will work out. Beckett has a good heart.”

My voice comes out forced, “I know but she’s so impossible.”

She chuckles, “I never said she was easy to deal with. Give it time, whatever is supposed to happen, will.”

I used to believe that statement. But that would mean that all of these homes I’ve been in were meant to be. The group home I was stuck in as a young child was supposed to be. It’s a hard pill to swallow that fate meant for all of those things to happen.

When she’s finished I hurry up to my room locking the door behind me. My hand starts to throb so I down some aspirin and fall into bed. Tomorrow is a new day as they say.

***

A soft knocking wakes me up. My room is doused in darkness so it takes a moment for me to regain consciousness and realize that the knocking is coming from the french doors to the balcony. I swing my body out of bed and shuffle to the doors. Beckett’s uneasy expression greets me as the door swings open. She is dressed in blue sweats and a black tank top. Her dirty blonde hair falls down around her shoulders framing her long face. I turn from the view that makes my heart stop and attempt to climb back into bed. She takes a hesitant step in taking in my lack of clothing, only my boxer briefs and pleads, “Jamie, can I please talk to you?”

I frown up at her and snarl, “I think we’ve done enough talking don’t you? It doesn’t ever seem to do us any good. You always do something other than what your words say.”

She flinches at my accusation. But I mean every word. The truth hurts.

She takes another step toward my bed and wrestles with her words while her hands turn restlessly, “Please Jamie, please come and talk to me.”

Her voice breaks my heart. To know that I’ve hurt her, stabs at my own heart. She turns and slips back out onto the balcony. I find a pair of shorts on the floor and pull them up, fastening the button and shake my head that I’m doing exactly as she asked.

I step out onto the balcony closing the door behind me. When I turn to find her she is looking out at the water her arms resting on the edge of the railing. My body sidles up a few feet away with my arms against the ledge. A few beats pass before she admits still looking into the distance, “I don’t want you to be adopted by my parents.”

My brows crease at her words. It’s something I’ve wanted my whole life, stability and an adoption will guarantee it. Doesn’t she see that? Before I can protest she continues, “Something happened and, and I fell in love with you. If you are adopted by my parents, I can’t love you anymore.”