The Soulmate Equation (16 page)

It was a little like being hit in the face with the obvious stick.

Of course: River wasn't a callous, gruff asshole. He was
shy.
Having to do this part of the job was probably miserable for him. Jess felt this as clearly as if she'd just read it on a pamphlet entitled
Instructions to Your Soulmate
. Framing every one of their past interactions through this lens only solidified for her that River was nothing like Brandon—all smiles and easy charm. He was most comfortable when facing the fume hood with his back to the room, just him and some tubes and billions and billions of paired-up nucleotides.

She was going to have to be the brave one here. Reaching
down, Jess laced her fingers with his. Warmth spiraled up from her fingertips, crackling along every inch to her shoulder and across her chest.

“We've got this,” she said.

He squeezed her hand. “We don't have much choice.”

“Let's just stay together, okay?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “Good plan.”

In unison, they took a deep, bracing breath. Reaching forward, River pressed the doorbell.

T
HE MOMENT THE
door swung open, they could hear the commotion inside come to a brief halt before it broke out into glass-clinking, jewelry-rustling, jacket-straightening mayhem. A chorus of voices whispered their names and
They're here!,
followed by a smattering of applause.

A valet stepped unobtrusively to the side as a tall, angular Black man approached, casually gorgeous in a stylish suit, and gave Jess a smile that somehow communicated a warm
You can trust me
vibe. His hand was outstretched, and only a few paces behind him was a woman, playfully shuffle-jogging in sky-high heels to catch up.

“Trevor Gruber,” he said to Jess, shaking her hand.

“Jess Davis.”

“Great to meet you, Jess.” He pulled River in for a hug. “Good to see you, man. And this,” he said to Jess as the petite Asian woman arrived at his side, “is my wife, Caroline. Thank you so much for coming tonight.”

“Hi, you two!” Caroline embraced Jess first, and then stepped
forward to hug River. Her dress clung to and flowed over her body in such a graceful balance that Jess wanted to high-five her. When Caroline moved back, Jess noticed a caterer practically materialize out of thin air.

Caroline offered River a mischievous little smile and reached back to grab a highball glass from the tray held aloft by the waiter. She pressed the drink into River's hand. “See? One step in the door, just like I promised.” He laughed, and she stretched, kissing his cheek, stage-whispering, “I told you it wouldn't be so bad.”

Jess immediately loved her.

River looked over their shoulders, deeper into the room. “
This
isn't bad?”

Jess followed his gaze and did a quick estimation that there were upward of fifty people in the expansive living room with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking San Diego Bay and the Coronado Bridge. Every one of them in formal attire, every one of them staring at the Diamond couple.

Turning to their hosts to compliment the view, Jess stopped at the sight of River's expression, swallowing her words. He'd gone vaguely pale and clammy. He lifted the drink to his lips, and then hummed appreciatively, murmuring with recognition some obscure alcohol name Jess didn't catch, and thanking Caroline under his breath.

With a smile aimed at Jess, Caroline turned and grabbed the other item off the caterer's tray—a glass of white wine. “River said you like semidry whites.” She glanced sweetly at him for confirmation. “This is a viognier-marsanne.”

“Gesundheit,” Jess joked dorkily, and to her relief, Caroline
laughed. River had paid attention to what she'd ordered at dinner with David and Brandon and remembered all this time?

He wore cologne for her.

He wanted to eat her like beef Wellington in this dress.

Caroline turned to face the party. “Everyone is dying to meet you, Jess.” She angled back to them. “But let's let them sweat it out for a few. It's my party.” Threading her arm through Trevor's, she leaned in conspiratorially. “We loved the profile in the
Trib
—River is my favorite guy ever, other than the one I married, and those pictures? Oh my God. The one of you in his coat?” She lightly smacked Jess's arm. “Forget it. I dropped dead on the spot. But I'm afraid this party got away from me as soon as I mentioned the idea to my friend Tilly.” She pointed vaguely across the room to where this Tilly must have been. “I said, ‘Wouldn't it be so fun to have Jess and River over?' She talked to Brandon and it turned into a whole
thing
.” Caroline rolled her eyes in apology. “I meant like
dinner
. Of course, the two of them had the entire GeneticAlly board and all the investors invited before I'd even told Trevor.”

Trevor laughed, nodding. “So, see? You aren't the only one who was dreading it.”

“I wasn't dreading it!” Jess insisted, smiling her best liar smile.

“I meant River,” Trevor joked.

“Come on,” Caroline said, and took Jess's arm. Jess grabbed blindly for River's free hand before they could be separated, feeling oddly panicked. “Let me introduce you to some people.”

Of course, River already knew everyone here; she was the novelty.

First up were the Watson-Duggars, a fiftysomething couple
who, within thirty seconds, suggested—without subtlety—that it would be great if Jess and River could get married before the IPO. And then there were the Lius, who owned the building they were standing in. Mrs. Liu admitted to Jess in a breathless whisper that they'd been married for twenty-seven years but she hadn't been at all surprised to find out they were a Base Match. Awkward!

The Romas seemed to want to punch holes in Jess and River's possible connection, and Jess reminded herself—as they quizzed her about River's history, most of which she got wrong—that they were just trying to protect their investment, not attack her.

Albert Mendoza couldn't stop staring at Jess's chest. Worse, she was worried his wife might actually reach forward and stroke River's biceps, the way she kept eyeing him with such blatant sex eyes. Dr. Farley McIntosh and his husband were prominent San Diego architects and mostly wanted to know whether Jess had heard of any of their buildings.

Through all of it, River's hand grew sweatier and sweatier in her grip.

They moved from group to group, like a bride and groom at their reception. They were specimens to be poked at, prodded, questioned, and quizzed.

Is it a connection you can just
feel
when you look at him?

Is the sex, you know…
unreal
?

How long before wedding bells?

Have you met River's sisters yet?

Your children are going to be stunning!

What happens if you match like this with someone else?

Jess and River had stumbled through their answers together,
hands clasped desperately, tight smiles in place, but that last question pulled Jess up short, and she made an excuse about needing the restroom, following River's directions down the hall to the second door on the left. The condo was enormous, and Jess itched to escape, to explore, to see how many rooms were actually furnished.

But it was enough just to step out of the melee and into a quiet space for a few minutes. Her heart was on a rampage, tearing everything up in her chest. If she hadn't been wearing such artfully applied makeup, Jess would've splashed water on her face, but as it was, she just leaned forward, taking a few deep breaths. Every time she thought she had a handle on what all of this meant, another question came at her around the corner, like a curveball. First, she hadn't believed the result, and then she hadn't needed to because—money. And then she'd suspected the DNADuo score might be true, but it didn't matter because she wasn't looking for love, dammit. And now, being by River's side all night and feeling like they were in this as a team from the very first step made the charade feel so real. When someone had asked about another soulmate out there somewhere, she'd wanted to vomit.

Too much, too fast.

Jess washed her hands, reapplied her lipstick, and gave herself a hard but encouraging stare in the mirror. This party had to have cost thousands of dollars. She was wearing a dress someone else had paid for. Who was she pretending to be?
Just get through it and get home.

But when she stepped out into the hall, River was there waiting, one ankle crossed over the other, leaning casually against the
opposite wall. His posture was so unconsciously confident, so sensual that Jess felt her legs clench together hard in response.

He straightened. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just—” She pointed over her shoulder. “Needed a second.”

A relieved smile played at his lips. “I did, too.”

She blew out a slow breath. “This isn't my world at all.” The effect of his proximity simmered just beneath her skin and she felt the words slip out: “I hope I'm not messing it up for you.”

A flash of emotion moved over his face, and he burst forward a step. “You're—No. You're amazing.” He looked back down the hall. “And I'm sorry Brandon isn't here. This is his scene. Not mine.”

“I get it,” Jess said quietly. “They want to see their investment in action.”

She could immediately tell he didn't love this phrasing… but also couldn't disagree.

“It must be especially surreal to you,” she said, “to already know these people and have them see you tonight not as the lead scientist, but as one of the big findings.”

“Yeah. Maybe three people in that room knew anything about my personal life. Now all these strangers feel comfortable making comments about our sex life and asking me when I'm going to propose.”

Jess barked out a nervous laugh. “Right.”

“It occurred to me,” he began, and then turned his face up to the ceiling. “When Esther Lin asked us about, you know, matching with someone else…”

Jess waited for him to finish, her heart beating like a racer's at the starting line.

“Were you married to Juno's dad?” he finally asked.

She exhaled. “No.” There was a long pause where it felt like he wanted more, but they were standing in a hallway at a party, and she just honestly didn't know how much more there was to say about her and Alec. In hindsight, their footing had never been solid. The pregnancy hadn't ended things; it had just sped the demise along. “He's not in the picture,” she finished, eventually. “He never really has been. We broke up before Juno was born.”

She could see his curiosity visibly sated. They turned and started walking leisurely back down the hall toward the party.

“You mentioned you've always lived near your grandparents. Did your parents pass, or—?”

“My mom struggled with addiction—still does—and relinquished custody of me when I was six. I never knew my father.”

“Oh.” He stopped walking and turned to her, eyes wide. “Wow.”

The pain in his expression seemed genuine. Jess nodded slowly, unsure where to look. “Yeah.”

“I'm sorry, Jess.”

“No, really, Nana Jo and Pops are the best people I've ever known. I knew from a really young age that I was better off.”

“They sound amazing.”

She suddenly felt naked. Here she was, her ex-boyfriend didn't even want to raise a kid with her, mother chose drugs over her, raised by grandparents and still living with them. River had two sisters who adored him so much they helped him figure out how to dress to reach his full hotness potential.

“What is that expression?” he asked, leaning in. “What did I say?”

Jess was made uneasy by how quickly he read her. A panic she didn't completely understand rose in her throat, making her want to look for an exit. This party was the kind of thing that happened to the heroine of the story, not the best friend. What was she doing here?

Humor, as usual, was her best defense. “Just imagining how from your perspective your Diamond Match has a truckload of baggage.”

He didn't laugh. “Don't we all?”

Her smile faded. “Do we?”

“We do. But come on. I know you well enough to know that you're not carrying baggage.” He was holding her gaze, and she felt physically unable to look away. “You've chosen your circumstances, Jess. I like that about you. You take what you want and leave the rest behind. You decide.”

He was right. She felt herself stand up straighter, lean toward him.

“There you are!” a voice called out. “River, come on down here, and bring that young lady of yours.”

Still holding her eyes, he fought a smile. “Is this young lady of mine ready for some more mingling?”

Jess laughed. “I've sufficiently recharged my battery, yes.”

Taking her hand, he led her back down the hall to the party, toward the tiny old man who'd called out his name. He had to be in his eighties, wearing wire-rimmed glasses and a well-worn black suit. Beside him was a woman with a thick braid of white hair around the crown of her head and makeup-free crepe-lined features. She was wearing a simple black dress with a lace collar and pearls. Somehow she was even smaller than her husband.

“How'd they convince you to come out?” River asked, grinning.

“Caroline leaned on Dorothy,” the man said in a thick German accent.

“And by ‘leaned on,' ” Dorothy chimed in, “he means that Caroline promised me I'd get to see you.”

River bent to kiss her powder-soft cheek. “Johan, Dotty, this is my Jessica.”

My Jessica.

Her heart fell in a swoon, from her chest to her feet.

“Jess, Johan and Dotty Fuchs.”

She didn't even have time to recover; both tiny octogenarians were coming toward her, each wanting an embrace.

She bent, hugging them in turn. “Hi. Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Fuchs.”

“Jess,” River said quietly, reverently, “Johan and Dotty were our very first Diamond Match. Their granddaughter brought them to us back in 2014, and she was right: they came through with a score of ninety-three. Our first score in the nineties.”