The Soldier's Bride (16 page)

She hugged Marie and whispered in her ear. “If Sterling comes . . .”

“I know dear. Don’t worry,” Marie said.

Evelyn had been about to say, “Don’t bring him inside.” but then she thought of how Sterling had talked about a special present for Danny, his excitement at spending time with her, how she had dressed carefully for this day with expectant promise for the future with Sterling and Danny at the forefront.

Her heart clamored in her chest, confusion bursting through every nerve in her body. On the brink of tears, every emotion felt more overwhelming than the one before—happiness, shock, sadness, disbelief—all melded into a hot ball of worry in her stomach.

Jim followed Evelyn wordlessly up the stairs and into her room. He closed the door behind him and stared at her, fear evident in his eyes. She smoothed the yellow fabric of her dress and stood with hands clasped. Where to begin?

“They told me at the hospital it had been too long.” Jim twisted his hands. “That you would’ve moved on, and I shouldn’t force you to go back to how we were before, but . . .” He put a fist to his mouth and murmured. “You’re so beautiful. Like every picture in my head.”

Evelyn stepped forward and took his hands in hers. “Don’t, Jim. You can tell me your story, but first I need to tell you mine.” She cleared her throat. “This is the first time I haven’t worn any black because I finally felt ready to let go.” Tears pricked her eyes and she looked at Jim.

He stood, hesitant, and she could see how much she’d hurt him already. Her heart felt as if it’d been shattered again, a million jagged edges ripping open the sealed wounds of the past. A sob broke free and her resolve broke with it. Evelyn stepped back and sank onto the bed. Her shoulders shook and she didn’t try to hold back the tears.

Jim sat next to her and put his arm around her, drawing her close to his chest. “Shh, don’t cry. I’m so sorry.” He held her close and she felt his lips brush her brow. “Let me tell you a little of my story. We’ll take turns.”

She looked at him and winced as another sob rippled through her body. He held her close and spoke in his familiar bass voice. “I was shot down in Germany and taken prisoner. Most of my company died before that mission, and most of the guys I knew died during that battle.”

Jim closed his eyes for a moment and shuddered. “I think that’s why they assumed I was dead, too. So many of the bodies were . . . there wasn’t enough to identify.” He rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “They took me to a prison camp and forced me to work. Every day someone would come to find a prisoner to make an example of—the German soldiers would beat them. So many times the prisoner would die by the next day. They were so full of hatred toward us.

“Then one day it was my turn. They beat me and left me for dead. Some German citizens found me just outside the gates and hid me from the guards. I was transported to a hospital in London. I had a head injury and spent two months in a coma.” He rubbed the side of his scalp and frowned. “When I finally came to, I couldn’t remember who I was, and I had trouble walking, making my hands do what I told them to. But the doctors, they took care of me. By then the war was over; the atom bombs had been dropped.”

“How did you make it back to the States?”

“They kept questioning me, listening to me talk. They said I was an American and they were able to arrange for me to get shipped back to the states. Before the military could figure out who I was, I contracted polio and got sent to Minnesota to work with some specialists.”

“Oh, Jim.” She put her face in her hands and tears trickled over her slender fingers.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I tried so hard to remember. My heart hurt every day trying to tell my brain the hurt it was causing my family.” He tilted Evelyn’s chin and kissed her, his lips moved hesitantly at first then pressed with more passion against her mouth.

Evelyn gasped as memories from the past—memories she’d been trying to bury—hit her full force. He pulled back.

“What’s wrong?”

She spoke before he could say more. “You were dead. You have a tombstone. For two years, I’ve been trying to keep on living for Danny. To find joy for Danny. This past month I felt like I finally had crossed that bridge.”

She held up her ring finger. “I cried for hours the night I put my ring away for good. I didn’t want to, but I was working at the Silver Lining as a hostess and the manager told me it’d be a good idea.”

Jim’s brows pulled together and he clenched his jaw, but Evelyn smoothed out his scowl line and smiled. “He was right. He said it’d be better for me to stop wearing the ring now instead of after someone had stolen my heart.” She swallowed and looked away from Jim’s piercing gaze.

“So there is someone else?” he asked.

Fresh tears fell from beneath her dark lashes. For so long she had pushed back any feelings as she tried to protect her heart. Now she felt as if her heart had betrayed her by letting her feel something for Sterling.

Jim groaned. “Of course, there would be. Look at you, you’re so beautiful.”

“Jim, please,” Evelyn cried and put her arms around him. “You’re alive. I don’t even know what’s going on inside my heart right now.” Her body shivered from the remnants of another sob as Jim put his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. She rested her head on his shoulder. For a moment neither of them spoke.

Then she heard a noise, a vibration in his chest—the song—he was humming it, just like he did almost three years ago when he first gave Evelyn the music box.

“You remembered the tune?” she murmured.

“When they put me in the rehabilitation center, I felt like I was trying to crawl out of a deep hole. As if I was reaching for something but I didn’t know what it was.” He rubbed the jagged scar line along the side of his scalp. “Then one day they took me to a different area of the hospital. I heard music, and suddenly it was like we were dancing again in the kitchen to the tune of that music box.”

Evelyn stared at the rug by the foot of her bed and sighed. “There is someone.” She swallowed, stalling for time to come up with an explanation, but nothing seemed right. Finally she murmured, “He knows our song.”

Jim stopped humming and pulled Evelyn back. “Look at me.”

She raised her eyes to his.

“Do you love him?” Jim asked.

She wanted to look away, but his gaze held her steady. “I told him I did.”

His mouth opened and closed. He dropped his hands from her side. “Evelyn, I don’t want to mess up your life. I prepared myself for the worst—that you might be married to someone else already. I can give you some time if you need . . .”

“No.” Evelyn put her finger to his lips. “Jim, I love you. You’re my husband. I just didn’t know that I could love two people.” She put her forehead in her hand. “His name is Sterling Dennison. He was wounded in the war. His brother died. His father died while he was gone. He has no family left.”

Even though she could see that each word inflicted pain on Jim, he listened intently. “I met him at the Silver Lining. He heard me singing our song.”

“Wait. Singing?” Jim asked. “You mean there are words to the tune?”

“No, but I wrote lyrics and sang it to Danny every night when I rocked him.”

“Will you sing it to me?”

“I don’t think I could get through it right now, but I will soon.” Evelyn rested her hand on the sleeve of Jim’s white dress shirt. “Danny looks so much like you.”

“You think so?” Jim smiled.

She nodded and smoothed his burgundy silk tie between her fingers. “It hurt so much to think you never even knew you had a son, and now you’re here.”

“But am I too late?” Jim said.

For a moment, Evelyn stared at him, feeling the pull of her heart in two different directions. The part of her that loved Jim so deeply had ebbed to a comforting reminder of what used to be. How would it feel to open her heart again and rekindle the love she once had with Jim?

Sterling’s face flashed through her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut as a jolt of pain coursed through her heart. He would be devastated. It had taken so long for him to gain courage to ask her on a date. After Harlan, he’d been so patient, so strong. When she might’ve given up, he’d forced her to see the good things worth living for.

Sterling had spent the past year nurturing her heart. Most couples would’ve been engaged and married in that time frame. Evelyn felt certain Sterling planned to ask her to marry him any day now.

The sound of a deep breath inhaled brought her back to the present. She opened her eyes and focused on Jim’s face. The worry and heartache were evident in his eyes. Everyone would be hurt in this situation, no matter what she did.

Outside, dusk had fallen and the branches of the oak tree twisted under frigid gusts. Evelyn thought of the many nights she’d listened to the sound of the wind while lying in bed alone. Her pillow was often tearstained and sometimes in dreams she could feel Jim’s rough whiskers against her cheek and the musky smell of his aftershave.

Her nose twitched and she recognized the very scent from her memory. Leaning toward Jim’s neck, she breathed in and smiled as she pictured the bottle of aftershave she’d given him after he’d proposed. The aroma was subtle, a woodsy scent mixed with something she couldn’t identify but liked.

“I can give you all the time you need,” he whispered. Jim rested his cheek against her face. Evelyn knew what she needed to do.

Evelyn slid off his lap and onto the floor. She crossed the room in three steps and opened the top drawer of the bureau. Pulling out a piece of tissue paper, she walked back to Jim. The tissue paper crinkled as she unfolded it, releasing the scent of vanilla and cinnamon from the sachet in her drawer.

When the light caught on something golden, Jim leaned closer. Evelyn smoothed out the last edge of tissue paper to reveal her wedding ring and the locket Jim had given her. They both stared at the objects that represented their union—a marriage that had somehow survived death.

With trembling fingers, she gripped the ring and placed it in Jim’s palm. “Of course you’re not too late. But I hope you’ll understand it might be hard to piece together the parts of my heart that have been broken for so long.”

Jim stared at the ring, rising slowly from the bed. He picked it up and held it toward Evelyn. She spread the fingers of her left hand apart. He smiled and slid the ring onto her finger. “I love you so much. I can’t wait to get to know our son. Thank you, Evelyn, for giving us a chance.”

She stared at the simple gold band remembering the feel of the wedding circle that had identified her as Jim Patterson’s wife. “I’m glad you’ve come home.”

She lifted her eyes and smiled at Jim. He pulled her into his arms and coughed several times. It wasn’t until Evelyn heard a sniff that she realized he was crying. She threaded her fingers through his dark brown hair. It wasn’t black like Sterling’s, and she noticed how different it felt to stare into the vivid blue eyes of her husband compared to the green eyes of Sterling.

Jim stood much taller than Sterling, and he buried his face in the soft waves of her hair and held her close. He lowered his head until his face was only inches from hers. Evelyn’s heartbeat was erratic, one beat wanting Jim, the other in anguish for Sterling. She closed her eyes and allowed her husband to kiss her.

As his lips touched hers, Evelyn heard the grandfather clock downstairs chiming the hour of six o’clock and jumped. “Sterling will be here soon. I need to talk to him.”

It was the wrong thing to say and she wished she could reclaim the words as soon as they left her mouth. She watched the muscle in Jim’s jaw flex and then relax. He took two steps toward the door. “I can stay at the inn tonight.”

“No, please don’t leave.” She hurried to his side and grabbed his left hand. She turned it over and traced the gold band on his finger. Then she placed her left hand in his, so the light glinted off the gold band on her own finger. “This might be more difficult than either of us can imagine right now, but I won’t let you leave me again. I do, however, owe Sterling an explanation.” She looked at Jim, thinking of the worry she felt over losing either of the men she loved.

“All right, we can take things slow,” Jim said. “I can stay in the spare room for now.”

He pulled open the bedroom door and stood in the doorway. Evelyn’s hand was on the doorknob when she heard three knocks on the front door. “Jim, wait, I don’t want you to meet Sterling like this. Please, can you wait until I’ve had a chance to tell him?”

Jim’s lip protruded as he ran his tongue over his teeth, considering her request. He dropped his chin and hurried into the spare bedroom, swinging the door shut behind him. She listened to the sharp squeak of hinges as the door closed and took a deep breath.

Sterling knocked again, and Evelyn guessed that her mother didn’t want to face him. She gripped the banister and rushed down the stairs. Marie waited near the entrance of the sitting room, her face drawn out in worry.

“Jim’s in the spare bedroom. I asked him to wait,” Evelyn said.

Marie squeezed Evelyn’s hand and a current of strength seemed to pass from mother to daughter. The words weren’t vocalized but Evelyn knew her mother understood the pain she felt.

Crossing the room with hasty steps, she tugged the door open before Sterling could knock again. He stood there with his hand raised, ready to do just that. His face broke into a wide smile. “I figured you couldn’t hear me knocking because you must still be celebrating.”

Evelyn felt like the words were lodged in her throat. There had been no time to prepare, no moment to clear her head. The scent of Jim’s aftershave clung to her dress, and it mingled with the scent of Sterling she knew so well. The mechanic’s cologne, he joked, was free, but one could never be rid of it.

Sterling held out a present wrapped in blue paper. “You look beautiful.”

Before she could speak, he set the gift on the floor and gathered her into his arms. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here earlier.” He pressed his lips against hers and she succumbed to his kiss. The wave of emotions running through her broke and she struggled to return Sterling’s affection. Her resolve withered as he pressed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I love you so much.”