The Shore of Women (49 page)

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Authors: Pamela Sargent

Tags: #Fiction, #Science Fiction, #General

BOOK: The Shore of Women
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“Return to your camp then,” the Prayergiver said. “Send my greetings to your Headman and Prayergiver. I see that I’ll have to pray for your band as well. I would speak alone to this man now.”

The Prayergiver drew me to one side as Wirlan and Aklan left us. “When I traveled with you and the Holy One,” he murmured, “I thought that She might not be what She seemed, and yet this band accepted Her. My doubts were quieted, but now they come upon me again. I wonder if it was holiness I brought here.”

“It was holiness,” I said. “The Lady struggles against the evil. She’ll find a way to bring life to this band and the lake once more.” I tried to sound convincing.

“We cannot wait. We grow weaker. We must travel to other lands while we still have the strength to do so.”

“They will be strange lands, and you know this one,” I said. “The lake will still give you water and some fish. Other creatures seeking the water may come here and give us game, and there are still the plants that grow on the banks. You know what dangers you face here—you’ll face new ones in another place.”

The Prayergiver shook his head. “It is not only the drought that drives us away, but what it signifies. Holy Ones dwell with you, and yet the Lady has turned Her face from this land. I now wonder what I brought here. But we have a truce with these men and are not strong enough to force the truth from them, even if we did not. I have prayed. The Lady is telling us that it is time to leave this lake until She smiles upon it once more, until the evil is gone.”

I said nothing.

“Jerlan wants to lead us south,” he continued, “for a traveler not long ago told us that the south still thrives. It may be that the time has come for me to say my prayers in a shrine again, to appeal to the Lady in that way.”

I gripped his arm. “You cannot do that. The Lady…”

“Can saying my prayers in a shrine bring any more evil upon us?”

What could I say to him? I could not tell him that those in an enclave might probe his mind and learn of Birana and Nallei. “I am a member of this band,” I said at last, “and our customs are yours. It’s the duty of a Prayergiver to pray in his camp, wherever that camp might be. Your men will need to see you praying for them even more now and keeping to your customs in another land. Others can pray for your band in the shrines.”

He nodded gravely. “There is something in your words,” he said, but I could not tell if he would heed them. “I shall pray for you, Arvil. I must leave you now with whatever lies inside your camp. Tell Tulan that his guardian…” He was silent for a moment. “Jerlan would want the boy with him, but Tulan’s bond is with this band now. Farewell.”

Even word of Jerlan’s band and their decision did nothing to rouse Yerlan. He continued to sit before his dwelling, brooding in silence, sleeping on the ground in front of the entrance. He ate little of the food left for him, and others took what remained, spoiled and fly-marked as it was. Stubble grew on his face, and his light brown hair grew darker with dirt. It was left to Wirlan and Aklan to guide the band, and others did not follow them easily. Often, the men would sit on the shore, as silent as their leader, looking up at the sky for signs of rain or gazing out at the island hopelessly.

I knew what I had to do, yet days passed before I could force myself to approach Wirlan. I still feared that Birana would not speak to me, that I had wounded her too deeply. At last I went to the healer and asked him if I could go to the island. He agreed easily, for some of the men had grown fearful of the island, and there were few willing to go.

Tulan came with me. I had grown used to his sullen silences and to the dark look in his eyes when he gazed at me. But he seemed happier this time and spoke to me with his old friendliness. I felt easier with him by the time we reached the island, happier that he was with me.

I left him by the boat and climbed toward the hut. Nallei was lying outside on her mat, away from the closeness of the air inside. Her body seemed no more than bones under her loose shirt, while her hands were claws folded over her chest. Her bare legs were so thin that I might have circled one thigh with the fingers of one hand. Birana looked up at me, then covered Nallei with a hide.

A fire burned outside the hut. I knelt there, brewed a potion, and handed it to Birana. I had used one of Wirlan’s most powerful roots, one he had dried on his rack for years, one he gave only when a pain was too great for even a brave man to endure. Birana lifted Nallei’s head and held the cup to her lips. Nallei drank, gave out a cry, and fell back. Her clawlike hands clutched at Birana’s sleeve as she moaned piteously.

The sight of Nallei’s suffering tormented me; I saw now why Wirlan viewed the world as he did. There was no meaning in such pain, no purpose; no evil deserved such agony. Nallei cried out, bit her lip until it bled, then began to grow quieter.

“I am not very brave,” Nallei rasped.

“You are braver than many men would be,” I said. She smiled a little; I marveled that she could smile in such a state. “Birana,” I continued, “I must speak to you.” Her blue eyes gazed at me coldly. I had said nothing to her since the day I struck her. “I have much to say to you.”

“I can’t leave Nallei now.”

“Then later, when she rests. Come to me tonight at the place where we have met before.”

She said nothing.

I stood up. “I’ll wait for you, and if you do not come, then there’s nothing more I can do for you. I cannot force you to save yourself.”

Nallei lifted a hand. “She will come, Arvil,” she murmured in her weak voice. “I’ll see to it.”

Tulan, who had tried to cheer me during the day, grew more solemn as we ate our evening meal. As he stretched out to sleep, he reached for my hand. “Vilan…”

“What is it?”

“I still wait. Can you lie with me?”

“Tulan, I cannot think of such things now while the Holy One grows weaker.”

“You will never come to me, then.”

“This isn’t the time to speak of it,” I said harshly.

He let go of my hand and turned his back to me. I touched his head gently. He pushed me away.

I listened impatiently to the sound of his breathing until I was sure he was asleep, then went to the place under the trees where I was to meet Birana. I sat there for a long time, lost in my thoughts. Perhaps she would not come, perhaps her anger with me was still too great.

I did not hear her approach. She was suddenly before me, a shadowy form in the darkness. I got to my feet.

“Nallei’s asleep,” she said. “She sleeps so little now. I couldn’t leave her before. She kept insisting that I go to you, but…” She came toward me and rested her head on my chest. “I don’t want to be angry at you any more, Arvil. I know you didn’t mean it. I thought you might never…”

“Listen to me. We must escape—now, as soon as we can. Tomorrow you will come with me to the camp and we’ll ride away together.” She did not speak. “Are you going to tell me you must stay with Nallei still? I cannot believe she would ask it if you would be safer somewhere else.”

She lifted her head. “She wants me to leave with you. She told me so before. Even in her pain, she was able to tell me that.” Her shoulders shook as a sob escaped her. “She keeps trying to protect me even now, and I can do so little for her.”

“I’ll have Wirlan come to tend her. I don’t think she will suffer much longer.” I stroked her hair. “Will you come with me?”

“Yes.”

I drew her down beside me, feeling how much I had missed her. My hands moved over her until her breath came in short, sharp gasps as I loved her in all the ways she loved best. We would escape and find a place where we could love without fear. I felt her warmth around me as I entered, and my soul sang.

I was awake. I searched the ground next to me and knew that Birana was gone. I opened my eyes as I sat up. The sky was growing gray. Tulan might be awake, searching for me. I could tell him that I awoke early and had gone to tend Nallei.

I stood up and stretched. The midsummer heat was fierce even this early in the day. The air was still. Only a distant, whining sound reached my ears.

I suddenly understood what I was hearing. As the whine grew louder, I threw myself to the ground and crawled under a log. A ship was overhead. I caught a glimpse of its gleam as the orb flew over the island and on toward the camp.

I waited but heard no cries of terror, no sound of men falling under the Lady’s deadly rays. At last I struggled to my feet and hastened to the hut.

The fire still burned near Nallei. Birana stood in the doorway of the hut. “I was inside,” she said. “The ship didn’t see me, but Nallei…” She waved a hand at the mat.

I bent over Nallei. Her eyes were closed, her face peaceful in sleep. I wondered if she had seen the ship. “What can it mean?” I asked.

Birana shook her head. “I don’t know. It may have been a passenger ship on an unusual course, or a city might have sent it here. Someone may suspect…”

“We have to leave now,” I said.

She came to Nallei’s mat. “Farewell,” she whispered. Only the slight movement of Nallei’s chest showed that she still lived. She might welcome a ship now, I thought. At least such a death would be a quick one.

“Farewell,” I said.

We hurried down the trail. Voices were already reaching us from the distant camp. The men would be wondering what the ship’s appearance meant. I picked up my pace, then slowed so that Birana could catch up to me. We came to the end of the trail and stopped by the rocks.

The boat was gone. Birana sank down onto a rock. I gazed over the lake, bewildered. “It is nothing,” I forced myself to say. “Perhaps Tulan is fetching more food. He’ll return soon.” I sat down next to her, trying not to show my fear.

A boat came, but Tulan was not aboard. As the two men paddled toward us, I stood up to greet them.

“Greetings, Balan,” I said to one of the men, expecting to see his quick smile. He continued to frown and said nothing to me as he stepped from the boat. “I’ll help you pull the boat ashore.”

Balan shook his head. “You are to return to the camp with Dagelan. I’ll wait here to guard the Holy Ones. The Headman is himself again and wishes to speak to you. The portent we saw at dawn has returned his spirit to him.”

“I shall also return to the camp,” Birana said.

Balan’s dark hair swayed as he shook his head. “Forgive me, Holy Lady, but it is the Headman’s wish that You remain here.”

“I want to go to the camp. Will you disobey Me?”

Balan drew himself up. “Forgive me, Holy One, but Yerlan would have You rest here where You will be free to commune with the invisible spirits that might lift our curse from us. We have seen one holy sign today, a sight the men have seen only during the times we once traveled to Your holy enclave. We believe the Lady may break the spell and reward us for keeping You safe even during this troubled time.”

“The Holy One will stay,” I muttered, knowing we had no choice.

I climbed into the boat. I felt Dagelan watching me as we moved over the water, but he did not speak.

Yerlan had left his dwelling. Dagelan led me to the garden. Yerlan was pacing over the dry, dusty ground, Tulan at his side. He faced me as I approached; he had cut the stubble from his face. He smiled, showing his teeth.

“I have seen a portent,” he said. “Smell the air, Vilan.” He came closer to me. “Do you not smell the scent of rain to come?”

I could smell nothing but dust and the sweat of his body. A few of the hunters gathered behind me, and I was suddenly wary of keeping my back to them. The gardeners near us set down their tools and stood by their wilted plants.

“It was Tulan’s duty to aid me in guarding the Holy Ones,” I said. “He should have told me he was coming here.”

Yerlan put an arm around the boy’s shoulders; Tulan’s lip curled as he watched me. “He awoke. You were not at his side. He was sure that you were tending the golden-eyed Holy Lady and thought you might have need of more herbs from the healer. He would have returned to you, but then the Lady’s holy sign appeared. In his wonderment, the boy forgot to fetch the herbs.”

“I will take them to Her now,” I said.

“I’ll take them. It is time I went to the island. Wirlan will come with me, and Tulan also, since he has served both me and the Lady so well. You will remain here, Vilan.”

He turned, his arm still around Tulan, and walked toward the tree where the horses were tied. Star lifted her head and neighed softly as Wild Spirit tossed her mane. “These beasts are too weak to do much labor for us, and yet we must feed them some of what little we have.”

“They can become food,” one of the men behind me said.

“It is so,” Yerlan replied, “but see how thin they grow. Such meat would be hard to chew.”

“Even such meat would be welcome now,” Dagelan muttered.

“Indeed,” the Headman said, “but perhaps it’s not only lack of food that makes them weak. Perhaps some illness is in them that might be passed to us. And there is this to consider. A Holy One brought these beasts to us. We promised Her they would not be harmed. Can we break such a promise now that the Lady has sent us a portent?”

“We cannot,” another man said.

Yerlan stroked his chin thoughtfully. “We cannot harm them but must feed them while they are here. There is only one answer to this. They must be set free.”

“No,” I shouted.

“Do you question me?” Yerlan cried.

“They are the Lady’s. She will say what should be done.”

“I will say what should be done! The Lady has sent me a sign; Her power is in me now. She will speak through me to you. She would have us save what food we can until the rains come again. We cannot feed the horses, so they must be set free.”

I lunged toward him. He knocked me to the ground with one blow. Two men grabbed my arms and pulled me to my feet. “Be careful, Vilan,” the Headman muttered, “or there will have to be a contest between us.” He waved an arm. I watched helplessly as Tulan ran toward the horses, untied them, and slipped the reins from their heads.

“Go!” Tulan cried, lashing their backs with the reins. The horses trotted away, then slowed; Flame lifted her head and looked back toward us. “Go!” Tulan ran after them, lashing at them unmercifully until they had passed through the wall. The guards on the wall whistled and threw clods of dirt at the animals until they had disappeared.

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