The Sheik's Arranged Marriage (17 page)

Talk about a mistake, Heidi thought grimly as she held her hands above her head and spun until the room seemed to tilt. She hated the silly dance and she’d never felt more ridiculous in her life. What was wrong with her? She could only pray she didn’t look as stupid as she felt.

She blinked several times and was shocked when she realized she was holding back tears. Why on earth was she crying? She wasn’t upset. She was having a good time, wasn’t she? Hadn’t she been the one to decide to do the routine? Hadn’t she thought it would be fun? She’d enjoyed learning the dance, making her own modifications. She’d even liked practicing. But now, in front of Jamal, everything was different.

Her chest hurt, she thought as she dipped toward him and reached for the first veil. Tightness around her ribs made it hard to breathe. Some of it, she admitted, was the fact that although they’d only been intimate for a few days, she still recognized that look of desire in Jamal’s eyes. He wanted her. Except
the her
that he wanted was another woman. How could he have made love with her last night and sit here now, lusting after someone else?

Involuntarily her gaze lowered to his lap. She stumbled when she saw the ridge of his desire pressing against his fly. He was aroused!

The realization sent a jolt of fire through her body. She nearly stopped her dance and went to him, but then she remembered that this arousal wasn’t about her. It was too confusing, she thought, wishing she’d never started this particular game. She wanted to stop and tell him the truth, except she was afraid to. She didn’t want him to misunderstand what she’d done or why.

How could he be doing this to her? How dare he be with another woman? And what if instead of falling in love with her, he fell in love with Honey? What if he wanted Honey more?

She spun around to confront him. She was going to tell him the truth and damn the consequences. But as she turned, her foot caught against the leg of the coffee table and she stumbled. For a second, she nearly caught her balance again, but then she lost it and fell to the floor.

Several large cushions broke her fall, but her ankle twisted painfully in the process and she gasped as her butt thudded onto the marble. Jamal was at her side in an instant.

“Are you all right?” he
asked,
his voice low and concerned. “Does anything hurt? Should I call for a doctor?”

He looked worried, she thought as she stared at his familiar face—a face she’d touched just that morning in their bed. This man had held her and caressed her and made love with her. He’d murmured that she was lovely and told her he wanted her. How could he be with someone else?

“I—I’m fine,” she said.

“No, you’re not. I can tell you’re in pain. Where does it hurt?”

Everywhere, she thought.
Mostly in her heart.
But she couldn’t say that. Instead, she pointed to her ankle. “I think I twisted it a little. It’s not sprained or anything. I just need a minute to catch my breath.”

Without responding, he slipped an arm around her back and another under her thighs. Then he lifted her and carried her to the dining-room table where he set her on the glass surface.

“Let’s take a look at that ankle,” he said and bent to examine the area. His fingers were gentle but sure as he moved over the bone. “There’s no immediate swelling. That’s good. Can you wiggle your toes?”

She did as he requested. He glanced up at her face and smiled. “They’re very nice toes.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, knowing he was trying to be kind. She started to say more, then found herself resisting the urge to burst into tears. To her horror, a single tear crept down her cheek.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Jamal asked. He stepped between her thighs and pulled her close. “Are you injured somewhere else?”

“No,” she sniffed, savoring the feel of having him hold her like this. As if she
were
precious…as if she mattered.

Her feelings confused her. She hated that he was with Honey, and she loved that he’d taken her in his arms. She needed to be next to him. She wanted to make love with him.
But not now, not like this.

Yet when he lowered his head and brushed her mouth with his, she couldn’t resist him. She opened to admit him, accepting the intimate kiss even as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

It was six kinds of heaven, but seven kinds of hell, she thought as their tongues brushed against each other, and his hands began to explore her. She told herself to stop him, but she couldn’t. Already the liquid heat moved through her, melting her bones and robbing her of her will. It was too amazing, too much of what she wanted.
Jamal.
Always Jamal.
He was her husband, the man she loved. She could no more resist him than she could stop breathing.

The tone of his kiss changed as their tongues continued to dance with each other. His passion grew. She felt the fire race through him. It caught her in its grip, making her cling to him. Even the sheer veils and brief costume were too much for her to be wearing. She wanted to be naked right there on the table.

He nipped at her mouth then trailed kisses down her neck. She arched to let him have his way with her. Then she drew him back. She kissed him—offering nibbling kisses of her own. She nipped at his lips and his tongue, all the while dragging her nails across his back.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her up against him. His hardness fit perfectly against her waiting dampness. She felt herself preparing to climax, and he hadn’t even touched her yet.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he told her, his voice low and hoarse.

She did as he instructed and found that they fit together even better than they had last night. He rocked against her, teasing her center with his arousal, making her writhe. Even as his mouth kept contact with hers, he began to unfasten her veils, tugging them off her, removing her bra until she was topless.

There was no slow seduction like the first time they’d made love, she thought hazily. Perhaps he thought Honey didn’t need it because she was experienced. Heidi didn’t mind. She was already wet and ready. Her breath came in short pants, and she knew she was going to die if he didn’t start touching her soon.

Jamal broke their kiss long enough to pull off her panties. When she was naked, he hurriedly shrugged out of his shirt,
then
tossed it onto the table behind her. As if he’d read her mind, he lowered her onto the soft fabric, still warm from his body, and began to caress her breasts.

He knew exactly how to touch her, she thought hazily. He cupped both her breasts in his hands,
then
teased the tight nipples. He took those tight buds between his forefinger and thumb and tweaked them until ribbons of pleasure wove their way to her most feminine core.

“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice raspy and hoarse.

She stared at him. “What?”

“Are you sure about this? Do you want me to make love with you? Is this what you want?”

Was he really checking with her? She searched his dark eyes. “I don’t understand.”

“I want you to be sure that you want us to make love.”

She covered his hands with hers and smiled. “Don’t you think you’re asking that a little too late?”

He didn’t return her smile.
“Not at all.
I’ll stop if you want me to.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him close. “Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.”

He plunged into her mouth, even as his fingers continued to work their magic. Then he moved down her neck until he rained kisses across her belly, making her shiver and writhe and wish it would never end.

She didn’t know what was happening to her, but she also no longer cared. All that mattered was that she was with Jamal and he was with her. If she had to be someone else to hold her husband, then she would be that other woman.

Her skin rippled and quivered where his tongue traced tiny circles. He slipped down her belly, moving lower and
lower
until she didn’t know what he planned to do. At last he knelt on the floor and shifted her legs so that they draped over his shoulders. Then he parted her female flesh and kissed her most secret place.

Heidi had been clueless of his destination. One minute he was trailing tickling kisses across her stomach and the next he was performing the most intimate act of her life. She vaguely recalled reading about this kind of kissing in those books
Fatima
had given her. Several had told of these touches of the tongue—male to female and the other way around. Heidi had been two parts shocked, one part disbelieving.

But it was happening now. Her husband was actually touching her there with his mouth and his tongue. Even more unlikely…she enjoyed it!

She half rose on her elbows to
protest,
then sank back on the table. Her legs were splayed, her body exploded, yet she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Not when Jamal circled her most sensitive spot, loving it from every direction. He moved gently, slowly, discovering what made her gasp and moan and writhe. She felt herself tensing and recognized the symptoms. She was nearing her climax.

The feeling grew inside her. As he touched her, her body prepared itself for the release soon to follow. It was magic, she thought, her mind thick with heat and need. A kind of magic only Jamal knew. The kind of magic he’d never known with his wife.
Only with his mistress.
What did it mean?

Before she could answer her own question, he began to move faster and lighter. She felt herself being pulled up toward the release. Unconsciously, she drew her legs back and bore down on him, wanting more, desperately needing more. He answered with faster movements that made her cry out even as the tension grew and grew until it exploded, making all of her shudder in ultimate glory. His touch lightened and slowed, urging every last drop of wonder to spend itself, leaving her gasping for breath and yet wholly healed.

He rose to his feet. Heidi felt the movement and forced herself to look at him. Passion tightened the features of his face, making his expression harsh, his eyes bright with fire.

“I want you,” he growled, already reaching for his belt. “I want you now, and I know I should wait, but I can’t.”

He fumbled with his zipper, his movements awkward. It took her a moment to realize his hands shook. She couldn’t believe it. She’d done that to Jamal?

“Don’t wait,” she said suddenly, sitting up and moving to the edge of the table. “I don’t want you to.”

Her insides still quivered from her release, yet the sight of him so aroused, so ready, made her want to do it all again.

Jamal shoved down his slacks and briefs, but didn’t bother pulling them off. There was no careful folding of clothing, no tenderness. Instead, he stepped between her parted thighs, pulled her close and thrust inside.

Heidi screamed. The pleasure was so intense, so much more than anything she’d already felt that she lost control. She arched against him, grabbing at his rear, pulling him next to her, needing him deeper and deeper. Nothing mattered but their being together. She wrapped her legs around his hips, urging him on. He wrapped his arms around her, easing her back, staring into her face.

“I want you,” he gasped.

“Yes,” she cried.

He thrust in and out, moving quickly, pulling her along with him. Her body shuddered and quaked and quivered as the tension increased. Then she crashed, spiraling out of control, calling out her pleasure. He thrust again, and it happened again. She was vaguely aware of pulling him in with her legs, of going wild and bucking. He answered her every demand, filling her over and over until one last thrust made them both cry out and collapse together on the table.

What perfection, she thought, stunned by what had just happened.
And so much for telling Jamal the truth.
She didn’t dare risk destroying their magical, fragile bond by exposing her lie. So for now, she would find a way to be both mistress and wife.

Sunrise
was more than a half hour away but still the heat nearly overwhelmed Heidi as she rode her horse across the vastness of the El Baharian desert. She could feel the sweat on her back and the dryness in her mouth, but she didn’t want to turn back. This was the best time of her day and had been since she and Jamal had started riding together nearly three weeks ago. Besides, her mount had far less trouble with the intense summer heat than she did. The stallion had been born and bred for the climate.

“Are you wilting?” Jamal asked.

She flashed him a smile and urged her horse to go faster. “Not even close.”

They raced toward the beckoning oasis, a favorite stopping place on early-morning rides. As often as not they met Dora and Khalil at the cool water’s edge, but this morning the stretch of green looked deserted.

They reined in their horses and dismounted. Jamal pulled the canteen from where it had been tucked against his saddle and offered it to her. She drank greedily before handing it back.

“By late September the worst of the
London
heat is over,” Jamal said, picking up the conversation they’d started while riding out of the palace. “I would suggest we visit then.”

Heidi laughed. “Jamal,
it’s
summer and we’re horseback riding in the middle of the desert. How can you worry about heat in
London
?”

He shrugged. “There are also the tourists. They go home after August.”

“Afraid you’ll be recognized?”

“It has happened.”

“I’ll just bet it has.”

She looked at the man she’d married, admiring the way his loose-fitting, light-colored shirt emphasized the breadth of his chest. His dark hair gleamed in the light of the setting moon and she could just make out the details of his handsome features. No doubt tourists of any nationality would find him intriguing. Of course, Jamal would loathe being the center of that kind of attention.

“September is fine with me,” she said, dropping down on the still-cool grass. She rubbed her hands against the springy, green blades. In less than an hour, they would burn from the heat of the sun, as would the valley. She and Jamal didn’t have more than fifteen or twenty minutes before they had to head back.

“I would like to take you to the theater,” he said, settling next to her. “There are several new plays opening. One of which is a musical. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

Heidi studied Jamal’s casual posture and the way he moved his hands when he spoke. This was the man who was her husband. They made love more nights than not, and he was always slow, patient and careful not to frighten her in any way. He was a kind man.
Considerate, attentive, nearly a fantasy husband.
He inquired after her health, took an interest in her day, her plans, her dreams. They talked of her work and of his. She’d come to know this man very well. But Jamal was also someone else entirely.

For in these past three weeks, he had also continued to see his mistress. She was living a dual life, and she didn’t know how to make it stop. Dozens of times she’d wanted to tell him the truth—to confess all that she’d done and accept the consequences. But she couldn’t. When Jamal looked at her with tenderness, when he took her into his arms and murmured how much he wanted her, she was helpless to resist. She loved him, and she would do anything to keep from losing him—even live a lie.

But as much as she loved him, she hated her life. She was terrified he was going to find out the truth. She also worried that he would grow to care for Honey more than he cared about her. The fact that they were one and the same only made her head spin. What had started out as a fun attempt to get her husband’s attention had turned into a difficult set of circumstances she could no longer control.

The ghost of Yasmin also loomed large in her life. What if he never let go of his connection with the past? What if she’d gone through all this
torture,
and it was for nothing? Her fantasy was that he would end things with Honey and fall in love with her. That he would tell her he wanted to be with her forever, that she was his world. She knew she was like a child wishing for the moon, but no amount of logic could change the longings of her heart.

“You’re looking serious about something,” he said, touching her cheek. “What is it? What are you thinking?”

She couldn’t tell him the truth, of course. “It’s nothing. I’m a little tired. I suppose I’m still adjusting to the heat.”

He took her hand in his. “Do you miss
America
? Are you homesick?”

The questions surprised her. “Not at all,” she said, squeezing his fingers. “My life is here in El Bahar. I have always wanted this to be my home.”

“And now it is.” He smiled at her. “I’m glad you’re here, Heidi. At first I was concerned about our marriage. I was afraid we’d both made a mistake we would regret for a long time, but now I can see that we are going to have a happy life together.”

She stared at him. Her heart thundered so loudly in her chest, she was afraid he would hear it. Was he about to tell her that he cared about her? Did he love her?

He rose to his feet and pulled her up with him. Then he rested his hands on her shoulders and stared into her eyes.

“I want to discuss something with you, but I don’t want you to say anything.
All right?”

She nodded, still confused by his previous words.

“I want to have children with you,” he said. “I suspect you’re not ready yet, but when you are, know that I’ll be a very willing participant. I think you’ll be a wonderful mother. We are expected to have heirs for the sake of El Bahar, but that’s not the only reason. I want us to be a family.”

Hope, longing and love filled her. She wanted to answer, but didn’t know what to say. It would be easy enough to confess her feelings, but what about the lie between them? Not only that she was pretending to be someone else, but that he was seeing another woman.

“Are you completely shocked?” he asked.

She nodded slowly. “Absolutely, but I suspect I’ll survive.” She forced herself to smile at him. It was a feeble attempt to act normal, but the best she could do under the circumstances.

He glanced past her toward the horizon. “It’s nearly sunrise. We should head back.”

Still reeling from what he’d said, she made her way to her horse. Before she could put her foot in the stirrup, Jamal came up behind her and hugged her. His chest pressed against her back as his arms wrapped around her. He lightly kissed the sensitive skin under her ear.

“Promise me you’ll think about what I said,” he whispered.

That one was easy enough, she thought as she murmured, “Of course.” She doubted she would think of anything else.

Heidi paced restlessly in her white-on-white suite. For once the amazing view didn’t capture her attention. She barely noticed the brilliant blue of the sky or the ocean. She wasn’t even aware of her skimpy dress or the high heels she’d slipped on a few minutes ago. Her mind was too caught up in what had happened that morning to focus on anything else.

Jamal wanted to have children with her. Children!

Of course she’d always longed for a family. It was part of her plan to establish a home and put down roots. She had always liked being around kids and hoped to be a good mother, but thinking about having them and actually having them were two different things. Was she ready? As important, were they ready? She and Jamal had many issues to resolve, not the least of which was his affair with Honey.

She was still pacing when there was a knock at the door. Heidi answered it, hating that her heart rate increased when her husband walked in the room. Whatever her heart might feel about his cheating ways, her body was always thrilled to have Jamal around.

Now, as he smiled and bent close to kiss her, she felt herself swelling and dampening in preparation of their making love.

“Good afternoon,” he said when he’d brushed his mouth against hers just long enough to make her nipples hard. “You look wonderful.”

“Thank you.”

She noticed he was standing awkwardly, partially turned away from her. Had he hurt himself or was there something wrong? Before she could ask, he shifted so that she saw the small dark gift bag in his hands. He held it out to her.

“For you,” he said.

“What is it?” she asked as she took the bag. It was heavier than she would have thought, and the discreet gold lettering identified it as from a very exclusive gold jeweler’s.

Heidi reached into the bag and pulled out a flat, square, velvet-covered box. She looked from it to Jamal. He smiled at her.

“Go on,” he encouraged. “I think you’ll like what I picked out.”

He’d bought her a gift. She bit her lower lip. No, he’d bought his mistress a gift. So far there had been no jewelry for his wife. Nothing personal, that is. For a state dinner,
Fatima
had given her several lovely pieces from the family vault. But this was different. This was something he’d chosen

Even as she wondered what was in the box, she felt tears burning behind her eyes. She didn’t want him buying anything for Honey. He was supposed to be breaking things off with his mistress. After all, just that morning, he’d told his wife he wanted to have children with her.

Even though it was going to hurt, she forced herself to open the box. She raised the velvet lid and stared down at a perfectly matched strand of pearls. Their soft creamy color glowed in the afternoon light.

“Do you like them?” he asked, then smiled. “I thought of you the moment I saw them. I thought of you wearing them, and nothing else at all.”

He moved up behind her and took the strand from the box. “Hold your hair out of the way,” he instructed.

He waited until she dutifully collected her loose hair in her hand and drew it up on top of her head. Then he fastened the pearls around her neck.

“Come look,” he said as he led her to a mirror over the buffet in the dining room. “They’re lovely. In fact, you’re both beautiful.”

She stared at the gleaming top of the polished buffet and tried to avoid looking in the mirror. She didn’t want to see his gift around her neck. The jewelry he’d bought for his mistress but not his wife. How could he do this, especially after what had happened that morning? Had he been lying when he said he wanted children with her? Or did he plan to get her pregnant and then keep mistresses on the side?

“Honey?
What’s wrong? Don’t you like the
pearls.
”

She was sure they were perfect. Jamal would have only bought the best. She also knew that the sharp pain in her chest was going to slice her heart into a thousand pieces and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Slowly she raised her gaze until she met her reflection in the mirror. The pearls glowed against her skin. They brushed against the collarbone left bare by the low cleavage of her green sleeveless dress. They were beautiful, just as she’d feared.

“See. They’re lovely, as are you,” he said, and moved behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his chest against her back,
then
kissed the sensitive skin under her ear.

Just like he’d done to her that morning.
He was treating them exactly the same.

Something cracked inside Heidi. Later she wouldn’t be able to reconstruct this moment in time because she wasn’t thinking. She reacted with a primal rage that overwhelmed her with the unexpected force of an earthquake.

She spun in his embrace,
then
shoved him away with all her might. She must have caught him off guard because Jamal was forced to back up a couple of steps before he regained his footing.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded.

Anger filled her. Anger and hurt and a sense of having been betrayed by a man she only wanted to love. “How dare you?” she gasped. She found it difficult to breathe. Her body was hot and cold at the same time.

“You are a horrible man,” she ground out as she glared at him. “I despise you. How dare you take vows with me and then lie? Did you think I wouldn’t know what you’re doing? Did you think I was that stupid?”

Jamal looked genuinely bewildered, which only fueled her temper.

“I am not your tarty mistress,” she announced. “I’m your wife.”

She paused expectantly, waiting for the truth to sink in. She watched, knowing he would be stunned, then mortified to have been caught cheating on his wife, with his wife. A voice at the back of her head whispered that he might not take kindly to the information, but she no longer cared if Jamal was angry with her. As far as she was concerned, her husband had a lot to answer for.

But he didn’t look upset. Instead of appearing horrified or shocked or anything even close to surprised, Jamal smiled at her.

“Heidi, you completely misunderstand the situation.”

“So you’re willing to admit you know it’s me.”

“Of course I know,” he said gently. “I’ve known from the beginning.” He shrugged and smiled again. “You are many things, but you’re not much of an actress. I think you had
me
fooled for all of ten minutes.”

He reached out and touched her face. “At first I didn’t know why you were pretending to be someone else. I thought you were trying to trick me, or prove something to yourself. Then I realized you were simply hoping to get my attention. I was charmed.
And very intrigued by this other side to my wife.
I have appreciated getting to know you this way. Not many husbands have such a unique opportunity.”