THE SHADOWED ONYX: A DIAMOND ESTATES NOVEL (17 page)

Grandma? It would be so cool to talk to Grandma … unless Joy found out something upsetting. Like if she’d been at unrest the whole four years since her death. If Joy found out her grandmother had never found peace, it would break her heart. In that case, maybe not knowing was better.

The shadows cast from the flames in the fireplace danced on the ceiling and blinked across the window. Joy shifted on the window seat, pulling her knees up to rest under her chin, and pressed the side of her face against the cold glass. Light scratches brushed against the glass. Hard to say which were the trees blowing in the wind and which were … um … visitors. She wasn’t afraid of the dark anymore; in fact, she preferred it. Light was unnecessary because it only revealed half the picture, if that. It crowded out the truth rather than illuminating it.

So, she could reach Melanie, she knew that already, and maybe even Grandma. What about relatives she’d never met before? Was contact with the dead limited to only people she already knew? That kind of seemed logical … but then again, all those ghost stories about people who were haunted by the homeowners who had lived and died in their houses before them seemed mostly believable.

But maybe hauntings were different than simple contact with a spirit. Hah. A few weeks ago, Joy never would have thought contact with the dead was simple in any way. But contact wasn’t necessarily sinister. Haunting sounded way scarier.

Bang
.

Joy jumped as something slammed shut. A cabinet door? Bedroom door? No one else was home, at least no one living. She waited for another presence to reveal itself in some way. Why wasn’t she terrified at the prospect of being alone in the center of paranormal stuff? Maybe because it no longer was outside the realm of her normal.

Wait. Where was Silas? As if on cue, he pranced into the room and dropped to his belly at Joy’s feet. Not a care in the universe.

Whoosh
.

The fire narrowed from a cluster of flames to a spark then fizzled. The room was cast into complete darkness.

Joy waited. What if she could glimpse the spirit world as it existed beyond her human existence? Would it comfort her or terrify her? Maybe certain things were best left unknown.

That’s what had happened to Adam and Eve in the Genesis fairy tale. They got themselves in trouble because they knew too much.

She opened her mouth to speak to the unseen ghost who had doused her fire, but no words came. Silas offered a soft
woof
as he lay on the floor, unconcerned with anything happening around him.

Well, if he wasn’t scared, she had no reason to be nervous.

What would Raven ask the spirit if she were there? First for identification. That’s what she did when they began to hear from Melanie. Then she’d probably ask for purpose like Lucas had done. Okay then. Joy could do that. She opened her mouth again. Nothing. It felt too much like praying.

Obviously, she wasn’t quite ready to go it alone, but something told her she would be soon.

Joy reached to the wall above her head and flipped on the light, morphing the room from a party of dark spirits to a bright, lonely room. Not that it changed a thing. What happened behind the shroud of light continued with or without her.

The little VW pulled itself over as though its driver wasn’t actually needed. Supposedly out for a moonlight drive, just to think, Joy found herself steering into the cemetery. Why did she continually put herself through this torture? But some kind of force had propelled her. Could she have driven somewhere else if she’d decided to?

Joy stared out the window at the rows of gravestones. What was she doing there?

She gripped the steering wheel and twisted her hands a few times.
Don’t get out of the car. Don’t get out of the car. Just turn around and go
. If she took this whole thing further, if she explored beyond what she already knew, it would expand her boundaries and open her whole life up to the unseen world. There would be no going back. But maybe if she turned and ran away now, maybe there was still a chance she could chalk it up to a few weird experiences she couldn’t explain and move on.

Not knowing might be safer, but Joy needed answers.

Joy climbed from the car and slammed the door hard behind her. Who was she angry at? Herself? No. That didn’t seem right. The world? Maybe.

God? Yeah that was it. God.

The whole religious thing, the Bible stuff and all that junk she’d learned about Jesus. Those songs she’d sung as a little girl … “this little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine” … what a joke.

She crept toward Melanie’s grave.

Vacation Bible School, summer camp, getting baptized … more ridiculousness. She felt stupid for buying into that garbage. For being as smart as everyone said she was, Joy should have known better.

Joy stopped dead in her tracks. She was going the wrong way. But how did she know? A gentle tug pulled her body in the other direction. She turned up the hill and plodded along the snowy earth, headed right toward the Christianson family plots beyond the northern rise.

There it was. Grandma and Grandpa’s single stone they’d bought to share. Grandpa’s just waited for a date. Oh, and a body. But what about Stella? Did she know Grandpa would be buried by his late wife of fifty-four years? Would Stella visit his grave as he lay eternally sleeping with another woman?

Three children, eleven grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren represented a lot of shared life. Considering Grandpa had loved Grandma for decades—almost half a century—and had created generations with her, Stella could never come close. No way. She had to know that. And it had to drive her batty.

“Nana?” Joy whispered into the night. “Are you here? Have you been watching all that’s been going on?” Joy waited. The wind whistled through the leaves, and snow swirled around her feet. “Can you tell me what to do? Tell me you’re happy?” Or better yet, don’t respond at all. Then Joy could allow herself to believe Nana was at peace, not trapped between eternities.

Joy closed her eyes and let the breeze tickle her cheeks as she felt a spiritual embrace that squeezed her body deep into her soul.

Her eyes popped open. “Nana? Is that you?” Joy sank to her knees. “I’ve missed you so much.” She lay on the grave and cried. The eight-year-old inside Joy wanted to huddle in her warm bed under a homemade quilt with her grandmother. Grandma would scratch Joy’s back and tell her stories of when she was a little girl in the coal-mining camp in the Appalachian mountains. Her nails would be sharp, but Joy wouldn’t twitch or wiggle, afraid of breaking the moment.

Joy could picture Grandma’s description of the little chapel with its stained glass window where they held Sunday services. She could envision the antics of the Culver twins in their kneesocks and smudged faces. She smiled softly like Grandma always had when she’d talked about them. She could almost taste the apple pies that sat cooling on every windowsill in the old days.

Why couldn’t Joy have lived then? Simpler times.

The cold wind chapping Joy’s cheeks turned warm in an instant. She lifted her face and dried her tears with the back of her hand.

The cemetery had grown still. Warm. Silent.

“Nana?” Had Joy spoken that out loud? It was difficult to tell … almost as though the air around her absorbed the sound.

Joy felt a strange sensation come over her body—a sense of lightening. Her legs felt buoyant, and her arms tingled with weightlessness. She couldn’t see for all the mist. She stretched her toes downward but felt nothing. How high was she? And why wasn’t she scared? Her sight cleared for a moment as though in answer to her unspoken question. Joy glanced down to see she hovered just inches above the earth.

What was happening to her? She should be petrified, yet she was intrigued. Silas nuzzled her hand, his warm breath tickling her with heightened sensation. He would protect her like always. He’d never let anything bad happen to her. They moved in his realm now.

The cemetery had grown hazy as if entrenched in a cloud she could see, yet not, kind of like looking through Nana’s lace curtains. Joy could see the scene outside if she stepped back from the window. But up close, she could only catch snatches of the scene through the holes.

Who is that?

A shadowy, billowing figure approached Joy. Not flying, yet not exactly walking either. It was familiar, though not recognizable. The form of a human … but it floated with an otherworldliness that gave it authority. It knew.

Again, the sense of familiarity washed over Joy as the being drifted nearer. A hand appeared and reached out. It clutched Joy’s hand, and her body instantly relaxed. The feel of those bony, calloused fingers and loose, crepe flesh. It was her.

“Nana? Can you talk to me?”

Silence.

Was she unable or unwilling? “Can you show me something then?” As if in response to her question, Joy’s body wafted toward the sky. Weightless. She wasn’t flying, and she didn’t feel like she could alter her direction. Yet, strangely, she felt in complete control.

Joy glanced down at the ground four feet beneath her. There she lay huddled on Nana’s grave.

Wait a second.

Her body was there on the ground, yet her spirit had escaped. Was this it? Was this how Nana and Melanie felt?

“Nana, I have to know. Is this what it’s like to be dead?”

No answer.

Joy felt a tug on her hand. Nana squeezed and pulled her higher and higher. They traveled a distance, yet it only took moments before they arrived in front of Joy’s home. As if transported there, she could sense the journey but couldn’t remember it. Would she be able to return to her body, or was this it? If she did return, would she remember?

Silas nudged her forward.

“What would you like to see?” Nana whispered the first words Joy had heard from her in years. The sound of her voice sucker punched Joy.

She shook her head. “It’s too much. I can’t take it.”

“It’s okay, my love.” Nana squeezed her hand. The familiar callouses a comfort. “It’s okay.”

Joy nodded and drew in a shuddering breath. She could do this.

They entered Joy’s house, not through the doorway, not straight through the wall. They just appeared there.

Joy turned in a circle, taking in the scene.

Austin stood in the family room facing Melanie, the shower ran in the background.

Oh no. Joy’s stomach clenched. Would she have to watch the kiss? Her blood ran cold, and her body shivered. If only she could look away. She really didn’t want to see the moment of the betrayal that changed her life forever. It was enough to have to endure its effects.

“Melanie.” Austin’s voice dropped to a whisper, his hand on the front of her shoulder. “I
am
attracted to you. I won’t deny that.”

That’s nice. Big, fat jerk.

“I like you, but nothing could ever compare to what Joy and I have. I love her.” Austin dropped his head.

Joy’s cheeks warmed. He’d never said that to her face. They’d agreed to wait.

Melanie took a step closer to Austin. And another, until they were so close their bodies almost touched. He held his hand on her shoulder and kept her at a slight distance. She reached up and removed his hand. Then leaned in, her face softened for a kiss.

Austin’s eyes twitched, and his face turned red the instant Melanie’s lips touched his. Austin’s mouthed one word:
No
.

Hovering over the scene, Joy’s heartbeat quickened. So many variables, if only she’d come out of the bathroom a split second later. If only she’d taken longer in the shower. If only she’d seen that Austin had tried to stop the kiss.

Joy stepped around the corner rubbing her hair with her towel. Austin’s back to her.

Could she cry out to stop the scene from unfolding? Joy looked into her grandma’s eyes. They were kind with knowledge, soft with understanding. “Is this real? Is that how it happened?”

Nana squeezed her hand. “Yes.”

“You mean he tried to stop her?” What would Joy do with that information? Did she need to do anything?

“Yes.”

She’d seen it with her own eyes. Austin had his hand in front of Melanie’s shoulder, not on the back of it. He was pushing her away, not pulling her toward him.

Why hadn’t he stuck up for himself before though? What if he did really love her? Even still, it simply didn’t matter. Joy was done with love. Forever.

Nana took her hand and gently tugged her toward Melanie crying in her bed.

Joy whipped her head to look from one side of the room to the other. “What? How did we get from my house to here?” Joy’s gaze took in the scene. One she’d been familiar with. One that haunted her dreams. “If this is what I think it is, I can’t watch.” Nana pulled her closer to Melanie’s bed.

Gentle sobs shook the bed frame. Heartbreak. Melanie wiped her face on her pillow, her eyes red from crying, her sheets damp with tears. “Why? Why did I do it? Oh God, I would take it all back if I could. How can I erase what happened?” Melanie gasped and sat up with a start.

“I know.” She talked to herself. “I can’t erase what happened, but I can erase myself.”

Joy searched her grandmother’s face. “Please. No more. I can’t take any more.”