THE SHADOWED ONYX: A DIAMOND ESTATES NOVEL (16 page)

“… there at the bottom. It’s quite clear you feel depressed, but I’m already seeing signs of you moving toward acceptance.”

Joy shook her head. No way. “I don’t see how that’s possible. I can promise you I’ll never accept what’s happened. Ever.”

Mary Alice shook her head. “No. I don’t mean you’re becoming okay with the events that took place. More … you’ll make the truths a part of your new reality and grow into a person who once experienced some horrific things. They become a real part of your past, but will no longer define who you are.”

Hmm
. Was that what Joy was doing?

“But in this process of evolving, we have to make sure you’re still you on the other side of it.”

Huh? That seemed a bit contradictory. “Well, if it’s all like a natural part of the process, why not just let it develop? Why worry about creating some final outcome?”

“We have to make sure you’re in a healthy place as you move forward because it will lay the foundation for the rest of your life. You’re probably in the most pivotal moment of your life, and we have to manage it well.”

Sounded like loads of fun. Joy twisted her head until her neck popped.

“So, for the next few sessions, starting right now, I’d like to bring in your parents. Okay by you?”

And the fun just kept on coming. “They’re here?” No way they skipped work.

“Yes. They both arrived a few minutes ago and are just waiting until I invite them in.” The counselor leaned in and waited until Joy lifted her eyes. “You can say no.”

What good would it do? Joy shrugged. “I don’t really care—nothing to hide.”

Mary Alice paused. A flicker of doubt crossed her eyes but faded just as quickly. She stood up, though didn’t gain much altitude over her seated self. Short legs made long strides to the door. She opened it and poked her head out. “Come on back, Mr. and Mrs. Christianson.”

“Please. Call us Peg and Alan.” Mom sat beside Joy.

Dad shook Mary Alice Gianetti’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you … well, from my wife. My little girl’s been a bit of a clam these days.”

Joy rolled her eyes.

Mary Alice nodded. “That’s fine. I’ve encouraged Joy to keep our sessions private if she wished.”

Hmm. Was she on Joy’s side for once?

“Okay. Let’s dive right in. Joy, your mom and dad are concerned about what’s been going on. From the mood changes, the dress, the suspension … it’s worth taking a look at. I asked them to join us for the session today, but I want you to know we aren’t here to dig up trouble or break your confidentiality. We’re only talking.” She turned to Joy’s mom. “Peg, would you like to start? Share your concerns with Joy.”

Mom nodded and turned to Joy, biting her lip. “I’ve seen some scary things going on with you. You’re acting very strangely, you’re hanging around with people who make me very nervous, and Austin said those new friends of yours are no good.”

Austin. Seriously? Mom was going to listen to what he had to say? This was not good. Had he told her everything? “What do you mean no good?”

“He just said they are kind of known for making some bad choices.”

Oh? Austin hadn’t ratted her out completely. Which was smart, or he’d have sealed their fate for good. Well, it was sealed, but he didn’t believe her. It was the hope he held that kept him from telling all. She could work with it.

Dad cleared his throat. “I guess what makes us very nervous is how much you’ve changed.”

“You’re just not yourself lately.” Mom put her hand on Joy’s.

“Of course I’m not myself.” Joy turned to Mary Alice. “Does this make any sense? How am I expected to be myself?” She looked at Mom. “Don’t you understand what’s happened in my life? What I’ve gone through? My life got flipped completely upside down. I don’t see how people don’t get it.” Joy shook her head. “You know, I don’t think you guys are paying attention. I think you expect everything to return to your idea of normal within a short matter of time. In the meantime, you’re just looking the other way hoping the time passes quickly.”

Mary Alice nodded. “Good, Joy. Now tell us. What would you like them to know?”

Joy locked eyes with her mom. “I want you to accept that I will never be the same. I have to reinvent who I am, and you might not like me when it’s all said and done. Who knows?” Joy looked out the window. “Facts. I would do anything to change them, but I can’t and neither can you.” Joy jumped up from her chair, knocking it backward. She ran out through the parking lot into the field behind the church.

Run. She fled as fast as she could make her legs move, not fast enough, not far enough. But at least it was something. The wind whipped her face, but she felt alive with Silas at her side.

“There you are. I hardly ever see you around anymore.” Austin let his eyes roll from Joy’s head to her toes. “Then again,”—he shook his head—“I don’t know if I would recognize you if we weren’t standing in front of your locker.”

Whatever. So he didn’t like her in black? So what? “Look, Austin, I don’t have time to chat right now.” She dug through her locker. Where was that textbook? She had to get away from Austin, even if meant leaving her book behind and missing a homework assignment.

Austin reached in front of Joy’s face and blocked her locker. “Joy, look at me.” He grabbed her face between his hands and forced her to turn toward him. “What’s going on with you? I’ve heard some things, and I’ve seen stuff…. Those guys are messing you up. I can’t just stand back and watch it happen.” Austin dropped his hands and clenched them in fists. “Please don’t ask me to do that.”

How wonderful it would feel to fall into his embrace. So familiar. So comforting. Joy felt her body pulled like a magnet. His eyes reacted, like they knew.

Those same eyes had locked on Melanie’s seconds before their kiss, maybe an hour before her death.

Oh right. Reality doused her like a bucket of ice water. What was she thinking? She spun around and reached in her locker for her book. Then turned to leave. Austin took a step toward her.

“You leave me alone.” She jabbed a finger at him with each word. “I’m serious, Austin. Dead serious.”

His eyes clouded.

She spun to walk away.

Austin followed. “Listen. I know I hurt you. But there’s more to the story …”

Ugh. What part of “leave me alone” did he not get?

“The worst thing I did was kiss Melanie. I didn’t kill her.”

“You might as well have.”

“Guess who’s here.” Mom’s voice sang down the hall.

Great. What now? Joy slid off her bed and stretched as she slumped to her door. She cracked it open. “What’s up?”

“I have a surprise for you. Come on out.”

“Oh goodie.” Because Joy loved surprises so much. She shook her head. Why couldn’t Mom get it? Surprises, no thanks. Meddling, no thanks. Joy approached the family room in time to see Kelsey shaking the snow out of her curls and handing Mom her coat.

Perfect end to a perfect day. Now smile. Don’t be rude.

“Hey, Kels. What’s up?”

“Look who’s here for a sleepover.” Mom flashed a proud smile.

A sleepover. Mom took it upon herself to impose Kelsey on Joy for an entire night? Kels was great, but Joy wasn’t really in the market for a new BFF. All she wanted was sleep.

“I hope it’s okay I’m here.” She stole a glance at Mom. “My parents had to … They had plans tonight.”

What, you’re too young to stay home alone? Not buying it. Lying doesn’t become you, Kels
. It was a setup if Joy ever smelled one. “It’s cool. I didn’t have anything going on.” Joy shrugged.

What would she do with Kelsey all night? So much for reading stuff on the Internet and crashing early. She’d had so many weird dreams lately that all she really wanted to do was sleep, but now she’d have to play all-night hostess at a girly sleepover. Yay. Maybe they could do their makeup and hair and talk about boys all night long. Joy sighed.

She cocked her head back toward her room. “I’ll lead the way.”

Kelsey followed Joy into the bedroom. “So what do you want to do tonight?” She bounced on the bed. Her expression was eager, but the twitch in her upper lip gave away her nerves.

“Why don’t we just lay it all out? Who set this up tonight, you or my mom?”

Kelsey stared at the floor. “We’re just worried about you. We care.”

Joy nodded. “I get that. I really do. Even appreciate it. But I’m not really the best company right now. So we’ll have to get through this, but I apologize in advance for the bad time you’re going to have. It’s not like I’m the life of the party.”

Kelsey glanced up. “You sure used to be. I miss that.” She sighed. “I’m sorry it had to change.”

Yeah, me, too
. “Well, how about we watch a movie?” That would at least occupy some time with no talking required.

Kelsey grinned. “Okay. What do you want to watch? You pick.”

She sure couldn’t pick one of her and Melanie’s favorites. What other options would make Kelsey happy? Make her think everything was fine? “How about
Polar Express
? I know it’s a kid’s movie, but I watch it every year, and it is Christmastime. We can put a fire in the fireplace and turn off the lights. Make some popcorn.”

Kelsey beamed. “Sounds perfect, actually. Love that movie. Maybe we could even make it a tradition.”

Simmer down. There wouldn’t be a tradition. “Never know.”

Fire roaring in the fireplace. Popcorn on the coffee table. Joy handed out blankets, and they were hunkered down on the sofa with the movie playing less than thirty minutes later.

As the Polar Express roared, Joy stole a glance at Kelsey. Sound asleep. Joy tiptoed to her parents’ bedroom and put her ear to the door. No sound from in there; they were fast asleep.

Alone. Finally. Joy crept back to the family room and knelt on the floor in front of the fire. She stared into the flames and let them overtake her mind. She closed her eyes, and the heat bathed her face with warmth.

“Melanie, are you here?”

The fire intensified with a poof, its bright light filling the room for a brief instant.

Joy nodded. It was time. “I have a few questions for you.” Joy took a deep breath. “Number one. Do you like where you are?” The fire blasted another
yes
.

“Okay. My second question is … should I join you?”

The flames blasted like fireworks one time. Another yes.

Joy stared into the flames as they danced. She sat with Melanie, hanging out. It wasn’t the same. Would it be the same if Joy … crossed over and went to her? Would it be like times past, or would it only be a shadow of the memory? If Joy knew for sure, if she could confirm that it would be the same, she’d go to Melanie.

Minutes … maybe hours passed, evidenced only by the tingling in Joy’s legs and feet. Yet she couldn’t pry her eyes off the flame that was quickly dimming into ash.

“What are you doing?”

Joy glanced behind her.

Kelsey had risen from the pillow, propping herself with her elbow. She looked from Joy to the nearly extinguished fire then back “What’s going on?”

Joy turned her gaze back to the fire. “I’m listening.”

“Listening for what?”

“Answers.”

I
f Joy could talk to the undead version of Melanie, could she reach others?