The Shadow of the Bear: A Fairy Tale Retold (15 page)

Shoes she agonized over. Her black flats looked too drab and her brown flats looked dumb. Finally, she took out her Chinese slippers and put them on. They had blue and pink flowers with green leaves embroidered on the toes, exactly the color of the dress. Blanche thought she looked silly in it, but it was a lovely gown.

She jumped when the doorbell rang and nervously went to answer it. It was Bear, wet from the rain, but in a…
tuxedo
.

“Where in the world did you find a tuxedo at this hour?” she asked, flabbergasted.

He grinned at her over the white shirtfront. “A buddy of mine has an uncle who used to own a tuxedo shop. His uncle gave him this suit. I thought it might fit me.”

“It looks great,” Blanche said sincerely. Unfortunately, his dreadlocks still looked…dreadful. He had tied them back, but they looked like a fuzzy mane.

“Does my hair still look gross?” he asked, catching her glance.

It did, but she could never say that.

“Can you grease them back?” she asked hesitantly. “Rose has gel.”

“Nah. There’s not much you can do with dreadlocks,” he said, obviously not too concerned, and clearly happy with his prowess in attaining the tuxedo. “Hey, you look great.”

She blushed. “Thank you.”

She swept the floor with the flowered tip of a shoe, not knowing what to say. Bear had tried his best, but he still looked hairy and wild. She had hoped somehow that evening clothes might transform him, but no. This would certainly be a Beauty and the Beast night.
As if I’m Beauty
, she scolded herself as she went to get her coat. Well, they would still be themselves—her in Chinese shoes and him with the dreadlocks.

Suddenly, in a sweet breath of excitement, she didn’t care a bowl of sugar. It would be an adventure, going out with Bear. Who cares who sees us or what happens? Resolutely she put on her Sunday coat, but suddenly teetered on the verge of a decision. Mother’s Irish cloak was in the back of the closet. It was grey tweed, but it would cover her dress perfectly and would be good in the rain. Besides, her Sunday coat was tight in the sleeves. She shrugged it off and threw the cape around her shoulders. The hood almost blinded her, but she didn’t care. Feeling more comfortable, she ran to get her purse (and the blush) and went to meet Bear, who was waiting by the door.

“Shouldn’t you call your mom?” he asked her.

“Oh—yes.” Hurriedly she went to the phone and dialed the number for the hospital. Her mother came to the phone quickly.

“Mom, it’s Blanche. There’s nothing wrong. It’s just that Bear came over and he wants to take me to the prom.” She talked rapidly, thinking how bizarre this was.

“Bear? Oh, that’s wonderful, Blanche. Certainly. That’s very kind of him.”

“Yes.”

“What time will you be back?” Mother asked.

Notice: “What time will you be back?” Not: “Be back by this hour.” Mother trusted her more than she trusted Rose. Maybe there was a difference between eighteen and seventeen after all. “I’ll ask him,” Blanche told Mom.

“What time will we be back?” she asked Bear.

“Any time you want to leave the dance,” he replied solemnly.

That might be pretty soon
, she thought. “He said any time I want to go,” she told Mother.

“Well, I’ll trust him to get you in at a decent hour. Tell him Rose is supposed to be home by one. Good news: they might let me go home early, so maybe I’ll be home when you and Rose get back.”

“Good!” Blanche exclaimed. “Well, I’ll see you then.”

She hung up the phone with a light heart and turned to Bear, smiling. He grinned back. She wondered for a moment if she should leave a note for Rose.
But I’ll probably see her there
, she thought in a rush of excitement. With Rob. And all the other popular crowd. Suddenly her insides trembled again. Maybe it might not be so nice, if Lisa and Eileen saw her with Bear and decided to make fun of him too …

Don’t think about it
, she told herself fiercely as she went back to the living room to leave.

Outside, the rain shook out of the sky like pepper and the city danced excitedly. Bear dragged her along, swinging her over the puddles that were too big to jump over. “We’ll take the bus,” he said. “It’s too far to walk at night.”

“I have money,” she said, fingering her purse.

“Keep it. My treat,” he grinned at her.

They came to the main street, and half ran to the bus stop. The cape flew out behind her, and she couldn’t help laughing as she tried to keep her dress and shoes from getting wet. It was the silliest thing in the world—taking a city bus to crash her own after-prom party in the company of Mr. Grunge. But she was doing it, and that gave her a terrified courage.

“You’re drinking in the joy of life,” Bear told her when she tried to explain why she was laughing. “There’s so much opportunity for drinking deeply of it, and we very rarely do it. When you do, it makes you feel alive all over.”

“I do feel alive,” she told him.

“You look alive,” he said to her, looking at her flushed cheeks and smiling. “You didn’t even need to wear blush.”

“My skin’s too white,” she said.

“Says who, Snow White?” he asked, touching her cheek lightly with one hand.

Chapter 10

THEY GOT OFF at their stop, and the bus rushed on its way with a roar through the rainy night. Bear continued talking as they walked down the glittering sidewalk. “Every once in a while you just have to decide to go out and do something very crazy and very right—just to dare yourself to live. I don’t mean doing something stupid and destructive—just something fun and good and beautiful. Otherwise, you’ll be a drone like everyone else, following the crowd instead of joining the Great Dance of Life. We’re in the Dance right now. Consciously. Can’t you feel it?”

“Yes,” she said in a small voice.

He paused in the dim spot between two streetlights and looked at her. “You look almost elven in that grey hood,” he told her.

Something quickened in Blanche—she
felt
elven. She drew closer to Bear with a sudden, child-like trust.

They were approaching the school grounds. The after-prom, the party sponsored by the parents to keep kids from going out drinking, had just started, and the parking lot was full of rented limousines dropping off kids in tuxedos and gowns. Some of them stood outside around the entrance smoking beneath umbrellas, making an odd picture in their satin gowns and bow ties. Blanche was glad that Bear was next to her as they walked through the crowd.

Inside was a roar of noise and a thundering beat of music. The chaperone by the door eyed Bear warily and asked for their prom tickets. Bear argued with him that they had missed the prom, and the chaperone let them in after seeing Blanche’s student identification card, which she had remembered to bring with her.

 “I’m glad they let us in,” Bear shouted in her ear, as he helped her take off her cloak and handed it to the teacher manning the coatroom. Without the protection of the heavy tweed, Blanche felt naked and vulnerable in her flimsy sequin dress, discreet as it was. She couldn’t meet the eyes of the kids who stood chattering in the hallway. Bear took her by the hand and led her into the darkened gym where the dancing had started.

The strobe lights in the gym made the walls pulse and gyrate with color in the semi-darkness. White crosshatched trellises dotted with tissue flowers lined the gymnasium, with a huge artificial fountain at one end. Tables with floral covers dotted the sides of the hall. Couples leaned against the walls or sat at tables, talking. The dance floor was crowded with pulsing dancers, and more people were coming in all the time. The beat was so loud it shook the floor beneath their feet.

Blanche had been wishing that it wasn’t so dark so that she could find Rose, and now she was wishing that she hadn’t come at all. She noticed that the other kids passing them turned away and steered clear of Bear.

Did they know something she didn’t know? Her tentative trust in him was shaken, and her feelings of uncertainty came sweeping back.

Bear himself seemed to have lost his confidence, and stood hesitantly, looking at the churning mass of people. Blanche didn’t see anyone she recognized.

“Do you want to sit down?” he yelled in her ear.

She nodded and he led her over to an abandoned table. He sat down and put one arm across the back of her chair. It was an odd sensation to have him so close to her, but reassuring.

It was too loud to even consider talking. The crowd of people thrashed about to the music, jumping and shaking. Almost nobody was smiling. They all had either tight-lipped looks of grim concentration on their faces or fake smiles—everyone was playing a role, even those who seemed so scornfully unconcerned about what others thought of them.

Bear was surveying the scene critically. She wondered what he thought of it. Somehow, it didn’t seem like his idea of fun.

“Are you happy?” she thought she heard him ask.

“What?”

With a crash and a rumble the stereo cranked into a slow swoon song with a pulsing beat. The rioting subsided and couples began to melt into each other’s arms. Everyone seemed to be with a partner, although some dissolved from the group and gathered like sediment on the walls of the gym. The head cheerleader and a dark-haired husky young man were heavily involved with each other, but even they were aware of who was watching.

“Would you like to dance?” Bear shouted above the bellowing singer, and Blanche nodded and rose, nervously throwing back her hair. She was glad she had worn it down, as it seemed to give her some protection. The song was one she didn’t recognize. It was something too old or too new, and either way she felt uncomfortable. Bear put his one arm on her waist and held the other out in a surprisingly gracious manner. At first, she thought he was being funny.

“What, is this a waltz?” she asked.

He didn’t say anything, but abruptly put his arms in a half-hug around her waist that was more in conformity with the rest of the crowd. Keeping a comfortable distance from him, she put her arms around his neck, and they began to dance. Somehow, this was more uncomfortable, because she had to look in his eyes or at his throat, and she couldn’t do either. So she looked to the side, watching everyone else dance. He did the same.

The girls from class were there, wrapped in embraces with their dates. Eileen Raskin was wearing an unbelievably short black dress with ropes of pearls dangling down the low-cut back. She had her hair up and looked very chic. Blanche didn’t recognize the guy, and supposed he was a college boyfriend.

Lisa was in a red velvet mini-dress with ruffles. Her face seemed to be hidden behind a mask of make-up. Blanche thought she looked like a snake. Her date, Lester Johnston, appeared more brutal than normal, if that was possible. Bear and Blanche brushed by them and Lisa gave Blanche a narrow, questioning look as though she didn’t recognize her.

There was no sign of Rose or Rob. It was as though they were in a crowd of strangers. No one talked to them. The girls who usually sat near Blanche either avoided her or were nowhere to be seen. The guys, on the other hand, kept throwing glances at Bear, and she saw gestures and muffled laughter. She looked at Bear, who was stolid, not looking at them.

“What’s their problem?” she asked.

“Just ignore them,” he said.

After two songs, Blanche still hadn’t seen Rose and concluded that she must have gone with Rob to the party at his house after all. She managed to say hi to one or two girls from English class, and finally felt comfortable enough to face the crowd in the bathroom and replenish her blush.

She didn’t recognize anyone right away, and slipped into one of the stalls. As she did, she overheard some conversation that made her heart jump.

“Did you see that guy who walked in with Blanche Brier?” she heard a shrill voice say as the door banged open. Lani Ferguson.

“Yeah. He’s probably some distant relative she dug up to take her to the prom,” Lisa said pithily, and someone snorted.

“Tom said he knows the guy. He’s a dealer who hangs out around here sometimes,” said Lani. Blanche’s stomach gave a lurch.

“I wonder if Blanche knows what she’s gotten herself into—probably so desperate for a date she didn’t care,” Lisa scoffed.  Someone clicked a lighter and Blanche smelled cigarette smoke.

“Is this guy the same one who cheated Tom out of fifty dollars last week?” Eileen was interested.

“No, that was some other guy they both know,” Lani explained.  “But Tom swore he’s mad enough to call the cops on this guy.”

Eileen laughed. “Tom? Tom’s close enough to getting kicked out of school before graduation as it is. He’ll talk like that, but he’s too scared to do anything that would ruin his chance of an athletic scholarship. Did Shannon tell you what happened to them last night?”

It seemed as though the girls remained there for hours, talking and smoking. By the blue clouds rising to the ceiling, Blanche knew they were planning on hanging out there for a while.

Meanwhile, their words about Bear smouldered in her thoughts. Was he really a drug dealer like they said? What if something happened to Bear while she was still in here, a trapped eavesdropper? Should she just walk out? That would make her look like a fool, for certain. But suppose that boy did call the cops on Bear... Her throat went dry. Suppose they were making the phone call now?