The Secrets She Kept (31 page)

“The dress you wore for that other guy?” he guessed.

“No. This isn’t quite as formal.”

“Where are you going?”

She rubbed her forehead as she spoke. “A Mexican place.”

“Sounds good.”

“I hope it will be. He says it’s the best one in Charleston.”

“Does he now?”

She said nothing.

“Did you ever take back that lingerie?” he asked.

“I haven’t had a chance.”

“So it’s still at the house.”

“I’m not going to sleep with him, Keith. If that’s what you’re worried about. This is a first date.”

“I’m not worried. I just... I don’t know. It feels weird to think of you with someone else.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.”

“Fine. I don’t want to hold you up.”

“Thanks.”

She was about to disconnect when he said, “Seriously? Are you
really
going out with him instead of me?”

“I am,” she said. “But I hope you’ll enjoy your night. I’m very excited about your news.”

“Will you call me later, when you get home?”

“Um... I’m not sure. It might be late.”

“Mexican food doesn’t take that long.”

“I don’t want my feelings for you to get in the way of being open to other people, Keith. You can understand why.”

“Right. Of course. Because
I
can’t deliver.”

“Except in bed.” She thought that little joke would lighten the conversation, remind him of why he wanted to be with her in the first place, but he didn’t laugh.

“Thanks,” he said with a touch of sarcasm. Then he was gone.

Nancy released her breath as she pushed the end button. It was almost impossible to keep from calling him back. But she had no intention of being unfair to the guy who was taking her out. He’d asked in good faith, and she was going to respond in good faith.

“It’ll be fun,” she told her reflection as she started to get ready, but she wasn’t convinced she could enjoy anything when she really wanted to be with Keith.

* * *

Rocki was sitting at the kitchen table when Landon got home from work. The kids were both out—one at a school dance and the other at a movie. He walked in, took one look at her and came closer, wearing an expression of concern. “What is it?”

She shook her head because she didn’t trust her voice. She’d hung up with Keith fifteen minutes ago, but she still hadn’t processed the tremendous relief her brother’s words had brought. She cleared her throat to steady her voice. “They found Josephine’s killer.”

She hadn’t been able to call Josephine “Mom” since she’d learned of the affair. Somehow, reverting to Gretchen as Mom made it easier to cope with the betrayal.

He pulled out the chair across the table from her and sat down. “Who did it?”

“Lana Pointer, Hugh’s wife.”

“I thought she was in Europe.”

“Apparently not. Chief Underwood traced her movements to Charleston, and then to Fairham. Anyway, she’s confessed.”

“So you’re no longer a suspect. Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“No. Thanks to Keith. If he hadn’t found those letters and swung the investigation back in that direction, who knows what might’ve happened?”

“That’s fantastic!” For the first time in probably two weeks, his face relaxed into the smile she’d always loved. “I’ve been so worried, felt so terrible.”

She was tempted to tell him he
should
feel terrible. But the bitterness and anger that welled up, sometimes when she least expected it, wasn’t constructive. Since the police search, he’d been working long hours—dawn until well after dark. When he did come home, he’d drop onto the couch for a few hours of sleep, then get up the next morning and start the whole process all over again.

But he’d
always
worked hard to support them. Rocki chose to focus on that, to feel a little gratitude for the good in him. He’d done so many things right in their marriage. Other than that one indiscretion with Josephine, he’d been a sensitive lover, a supportive husband, a devoted father. Was it fair to judge him, and to throw away so many years of marriage, because of one selfish and stupid act?

She didn’t know the answer to that question. He’d hurt her deeply. But if she left him, if she broke up her family, would anyone be better off?

She didn’t want to let Josephine destroy all the happiness she’d known in her life, most of which was connected to Landon. She just wasn’t sure she was capable of forgiving something that intimate, that...painful.

“It’s a relief,” she said simply. She had to overcome the inclination to place blame. He felt bad enough. He was beginning to lose weight, quite a bit of it, and that concerned her, even though she hadn’t mentioned it to him.

“Do you need any help around here?” he asked.

She knew he hadn’t eaten dinner. She’d been saving it for him since six; it was now after nine. “No. Everything’s handled. I’ll warm up your dinner so you can eat.”

She put a big bowl of beef Stroganoff in front of him. But he took only a few bites before he thanked her politely, cleaned up his own dishes and crashed on the couch.

29

NANCY HAD EXPECTED
her date to be a disaster. She’d thought she’d be able to muddle through the evening, but had no real hopes beyond that. If she wanted more than a week or two of happiness whenever she saw Keith, she had to take the painful first step of meeting someone else. Keith had talked about having her fly to LA to visit him once he returned, so he was acting as if he assumed their relationship would continue. But there was no sense of permanence in the way he spoke about her—about
them
—and that sometimes left her with an odd, hollow feeling. It meant settling for so much less than she really wanted. She figured it’d be different if she were still in her twenties. A decade ago she could afford to take a few wrong turns, give him more time, hope his feelings might grow stronger. But she was thirty-five and ready to start a family. She deserved more than to spend her life loving someone who couldn’t love her back.

So she’d gone into the evening with a “grin and bear it” attitude, and was completely surprised that the date wasn’t bad at all. Warren Castillo, a divorced pharmacist from Charleston with two children, eight and ten, turned out to be funny as well as nice. She liked him. There were even a few moments when she
almost
forgot about Keith and the fact that she could’ve spent the evening with him instead.

By the time they’d finished eating and Warren walked her out to her car, she was more encouraged than she’d been in a long while—so encouraged that she accepted his invitation to see a movie the following weekend.

Since she had to catch the eight o’clock ferry, or stay the night in Charleston, it wasn’t late when she got home. She could’ve hurried over to Coldiron House. Keith probably expected it. But if she was going to give Warren, or any other man, a chance, she needed to quit wasting her time with Keith. The more she was with him, the more she
wanted
to be with him. That hardly helped in her quest to meet someone else.

She was on the dating site, catching up on all the messages she’d neglected, when she received a text from him.

Hey, you home?

Nancy experienced the same pull she always felt when she heard from him. She suddenly missed him, even though she’d been feeling so hopeful and strong and determined just a moment before. She told herself she shouldn’t respond, but cutting him off abruptly seemed rather...unkind after their closeness over the past couple of weeks. So she texted him back.

Yeah.

How was it?

Fun.

What’d you do?

Just had dinner.

Do you think you’ll go out with him again?

We’re seeing a movie together next weekend.

Nice.

Without any context or body language, she couldn’t tell if he was being facetious. But, considering how he’d acted before, she guessed he was. So she decided to leave it there and put down her phone.

Fifteen minutes later, he called.

By then the afterglow of her date had worn off, and forcing herself to stay away from Keith was making her downright miserable. “Hello?”

“What are you doing?”

Reluctant to say she was on the dating site, she told him she was watching TV. She had turned it on; she just wasn’t paying any attention to it. “What about you?”

“Maisey, Rocki and I have been planning the funeral. We’re going to have it on Thursday.”

“In Charleston?” There were no mortuaries on Fairham so that was almost a given.

“Yeah. At two. Can you make it? If not, we can move it.”

“No. There’s no need for that. Marlene will trade days with me again. I can make it.”

“If she wants to come, too, she can close the shop.”

“I’ll let her know.”

“Good.”

“Can you text me the address?”

“Sure. Or you can get it while you’re here. You’re coming over tonight, aren’t you?”

She got up to pace her living room. Simba seemed to intuit her anxiety, because he got to his feet and watched her, wagging his tail whenever she looked at him—as if in encouragement.

“No,” she said.

There was a long silence. Then he said, “Are you kidding?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Why won’t you come over?”

Because she had to have more self-respect. She shouldn’t have continued seeing him after that morning on the beach, when he’d admitted he didn’t love her. Everything since then had been a sellout, and that was why continuing the relationship, at least on a romantic level, made her feel so...cheap. “I can’t.”

“Tomorrow then?”

She squeezed her eyes shut. If she left it open-ended, allowed the possibility to exist, she’d give in—if not tomorrow, then the next day or the day after. “No. I won’t be returning, Keith. Not the way I’ve been doing since you came home.”

He lowered his voice as he said, “You can see this other guy after I’m gone, Nance.”

She thought about that, saw the practicality behind it. Why not take advantage of the time they had? That was how she’d been thinking the past several days, why she’d allowed herself to succumb to the urge that kept driving her back. But she had to take control of her own destiny even if that was painful. Anything less damaged her self-esteem. “For my own sake, it’s important I do it now, while I still have a choice.”

There was another long pause. Then he said, “Fuck,” and disconnected.

* * *

The next several days were some of the worst Keith could remember. Although he was relieved to hear that Lana was being extradited from Australia, he couldn’t stop thinking about Nancy. He hoped she’d give in and see him again before he had to leave. He knew she loved him—she’d said as much. But while he delved into his mother’s finances in an attempt to save what he could, Nancy remained resolute. Over the next four days, she didn’t call him once, and she didn’t return any of his calls, either.

It wasn’t until he left a message saying he needed to speak to her about Love’s in Bloom that he heard back. Selling the business to someone else, someone who could purchase it outright, would’ve made what he was trying to do much easier; bailing out his mother’s estate was taking all his available cash and then some, meaning he’d have significant debt. And yet he
wanted
Nancy to have the store. But when he made an appointment for Wednesday to talk about it with her, she wouldn’t even meet him at the house. She suggested they get together at the store instead, and when he arrived, she wouldn’t really look at him. She glanced away as soon as he began to search her face for any of the tenderness and concern that had been there before.

Keith tried to make the purchase contract as favorable to her as he could. He hadn’t made a very positive impact on her life, and figured he owed her that much. But she wouldn’t allow him to go too far. She insisted on paying a higher price than he told her he’d accept, and although he’d offered to let her go three years without making her first payment, she’d insisted that payments would start as soon as they signed the contract.

“I can make this work,” she said when they finally came to an agreement on all the terms.

“I know you can.”

Her eyes met his without shifting away. “I’m grateful to you. I realize you’ve made a lot of concessions here. Another owner probably wouldn’t have given me this opportunity. I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”

He took her hand and was gratified when she didn’t pull away. “I care about you, Nancy. I want you to have whatever you want, to be happy.”

“I believe that.”

“If you get into trouble on the payments, don’t worry. We’ll work out a new schedule, if necessary. You’re taking on a lot. I’d hate for it to be too much.”

“I’ve done my homework. If the store produces the way it has in the past two years, I’ll be fine. And I’m planning to
increase
sales, not go the other way.”

“You’ll do great.”

She stepped closer. “What’s going to happen to Coldiron House?”

“We’ll keep it in the family.”

“But leave it empty?”

“Rocki will probably move here with the two younger kids.”

“Without Landon?”

“It doesn’t sound like they’re going to make it.”

Because she’d always liked Landon, she found that disappointing. “I’m sorry to hear it.”

“So am I. I think he truly hates himself for what he’s done, but...it would be a difficult thing to overcome, so I can’t blame Rocki if she chooses not to try.”

“No, of course not. No one could blame her.”

“I’ve managed to save almost everything else,” he said. “Once I’m in California and back at work, I should be able to pay off the loan my mother took out on the bungalows. Eventually, everyone will get the inheritance they deserve.”

She let her fingers curl through his. He liked that, but it was hard not to pull her even closer, to kiss her. He wanted that, wanted to feel her against him, as passionate as she’d always been.

“That’s really something, Keith,” she said. “Did you ever dream that
you’d
be the one to save the whole Coldiron estate? That your sisters would only inherit because of you?”

He shook his head. “Never.”

“You’ve made good. You should be proud of yourself.”

She’d always been in his corner—no matter what. “Thanks for sticking by me when I had no one else, Nance. Somehow you managed to believe in me, even when I was at my worst.”

“And I was right about you,” she said, releasing his hand. “I knew the great things you were capable of.”

There was nothing left to say, but Keith hated to leave. The fact that he didn’t feel free to touch Nancy the way he’d been touching her until recently, to kiss her and hold her, just felt...wrong. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you at the funeral tomorrow?”

“I’ll be there.”

He turned to go, then hesitated at the door. “Did you ever take back that lingerie?”

She smiled when he looked over his shoulder at her, but it was the firm kind of smile that let him know she wouldn’t be changing her mind. This time, her refusal was permanent. Unless he could give her more, she didn’t want anything.

“You’re going to make some man very happy someday,” he told her.

“If not, I’ll make myself happy,” she said and that was when he realized he wasn’t the only one who’d changed. These days Nancy knew who she was and what she wanted; she’d gained the confidence she’d lacked when he was with her before.

* * *

As much as his mother’s funeral signaled the end of what’d happened on Fairham, Keith dreaded the service. Even as he dressed for it in an expensive black suit he’d purchased in Charleston, he knew the next few hours would be painful. Beyond the fact that he and his siblings were saying a permanent goodbye to their mother and would be coping with all the attendant emotions, Hugh Pointer had left Keith a message saying he’d be there to pay his respects.

Fortunately, he wouldn’t be bringing his wife. Lana was already in the process of being extradited. Hugh had even more to grieve than Keith did—he’d lost his wife
and
his lover. But Hugh’s presence would be uncomfortable even without Lana. It bothered Keith that he’d returned to the island in an attempt to cover up his wife’s crime. That proved he placed Lana above Josephine. Although Keith could understand why he’d try to protect the mother of his children, especially once Josephine was gone, Keith couldn’t help feeling defensive of his own mother, who’d died at the hands of Hugh’s jealous wife.

As if having Hugh there wasn’t bad enough, Rocki and her family were not only in town, they were getting ready for the funeral in the other wing. Keith couldn’t imagine how heartbreaking it would be for her to stand over their mother’s casket with Landon by her side, knowing he’d slept with Josephine less than two months ago. Keith considered it a miracle that they’d shown up, but she’d confided in him that she’d come for the kids’ sake. Even Brooklyn had left college to be there. Regardless of how it had happened, they’d lost a grandmother. She felt she should give them the opportunity to say goodbye.

Then there was Nancy. Keith could easily guess how seeing her again would make him feel. He’d felt like shit when he saw her yesterday.

Bottom line, he needed to get back to California and get on with his life. His escape from Fairham was what had rescued him before; he assumed it would do the same now. The debt he’d created in order to save his mother’s estate would mean he’d have to work extra hard and extra smart, probably for several years, but he didn’t mind. He was actually looking forward to the challenge. It would keep him absorbed, interested in his work, actively pushing forward every day instead of sliding back and allowing himself to crave cocaine or Nancy or Fairham or anything else.

His phone buzzed, signaling a new text. He finished putting on his cuff links before picking it up.

The message came from Dahlia, who was far more determined and resilient in her pursuit of him than he’d expected.

Hey, gorgeous. You home yet?

No
, he wrote back,
but I’ll be there on Tuesday.

Will you call me as soon as you get in? I miss you.

He felt resistant to the idea of seeing her again, but he attributed that to everything he was going through. She was a beautiful woman. Nice, too. There was no reason he shouldn’t give her another chance.

Sure. See you soon.