The Secret of Happy Ever After (34 page)

Anna’s surging hormones made it come out more dramatically than she had meant it to, and Michelle’s head bounced up. She looked defensive.

‘I
was
going to say something. I don’t think it’s been going on long – and before you ask, yes, I’ve made it really clear to him how important her exams are, and how I’ll personally have his balls for tableware if he’s anything less than a perfect gentleman. But if I’d come round to you and said, “Ooh, Becca’s dating Owen,” what would you have done? Stopped her seeing him? Because that always goes over
really
well with teenagers.’

Anna had to concede, rather unwillingly, that Michelle was right. It still didn’t make her any less annoyed that she hadn’t said anything, though. Whose loyalty was more important here?

‘You know Phil will go absolutely nuclear if this gets . . . messy?’ she said. She didn’t want to think too hard about what she meant by ‘messy’.

‘How messy can it get? Look, it’s not that hard to keep an eye on them if Becca’s in school and Gillian’s in the shop under the flat from nine till six every day,’ said Michelle reasonably. ‘And it’s easier to do that if they’re not sneaking around.’ She tried a wan smile. ‘I bet you didn’t do much sneaking around when you were a teenager, did you?’

‘No,’ admitted Anna.

‘Well, I’ve had a lot of practice at keeping an eye on Owen and believe me, it’s much easier when he thinks he’s not being watched.’

Anna looked horrified and sank into a chair. ‘Is that supposed to fill me with confidence?’

Michelle let out a groany laugh. ‘Sorry. But it’s true. Any teenage boy would be the same. You’re just lucky you haven’t had to deal with it yet. Think of it as practice for Chloe.’

‘Becca isn’t a sneaking around type,’ she said. ‘But she was pretty quick to remind me that I’m not in a position to lecture her about older boyfriends.’ Anna put her head in her hands. ‘Why do I get a bad feeling about this?’

‘Are you saying my brother gives you a bad feeling?’ Michelle’s tone was jokey, but the words weren’t.

‘Not exactly.’

She
did
have a bad feeling. Already she could feel a thin layer of complication settling over the desk between them. Michelle was usually bracingly honest about Owen’s charm but now she was being defensive. Anna knew she’d be saying very different things if Owen had started dating Kelsey.

‘I have to tell Phil,’ she said, realising that she’d made a mistake in promising Becca she wouldn’t. ‘Oh
God
. He’s only just come to terms with his princess going out with that spotty oboe boy.’

‘Owen’s not exactly a cradle-snatcher. He’s got a job,’ Michelle pointed out. ‘And a degree.’

‘True. And he doesn’t have a motorbike. Or a tattoo.’

‘Actually, he’s got a tattoo. A small one. Maybe two.’

‘What? No . . .’

Michelle checked Becca wasn’t on her way back and dropped her voice. ‘Listen, Anna, I’ve been thinking about this too and the worst case scenario is that they have some kind of summer fling, then she goes off to university in October and it fizzles out. Becca’s a sensible girl. She knows how important her exams are.’

‘And Owen? You think he can be sensible?’ Anna looked quizzically at Michelle. ‘Before you answer, don’t forget you’ve told me certain things about him and his less-than-reliable habits with ladies.’

Michelle paused. ‘Owen seems pretty smitten, to be honest.’

‘You sound surprised.’

Michelle was choosing her words carefully. ‘Normally by now he’s practically moved in with them, or he’s disappeared altogether, but he’s been here. On his own. Rory says he’s seen him staying in – he went round to borrow some milk the other night.’ They both boggled at that domestic detail.

‘So when did Becca tell you?’ Michelle asked.

It was Anna’s turn to hesitate. ‘A couple of days ago.’

‘Really? And when were you going to tell
me
?’ Michelle lifted an eyebrow. ‘If you think it’s such an issue?

‘Just now. I told you just now!’ Anna realised that – again – her moral high ground was a bit slippier than she’d thought it was. She didn’t really enjoy Michelle’s answering expression. It made her uncomfortable.

They looked at each other in silence.

Fortunately Becca reappeared before either of them had to think of what they could say next without escalating things.

‘Who wants coffee?’ Becca waved the jug at them, her face fresh and young and excited. ‘I’ve got biscuits too!’

‘Me, please,’ said Anna. ‘A strong one.’

18

Once the girls had been safely packed off on the night flight, armed with fruit and water – and in Lily’s case, an actual book – Anna turned to her holiday list.

The first thing on it was to have lunch the following day with her mum and dad, whom she hadn’t seen since her fleeting visit to them before Christmas to pick up and collect presents like a demented courier elf.

Anna missed the companionable walks with her dad and his wheezy old Labrador, and her easy chats with her mother in her small kitchen. Though she spoke to her mum on the phone a few times a week, it wasn’t the same as seeing them, and the familiar house they’d lived in all her life, full of books and memories. She knew they missed her too, their only child, and worried about her place in Phil’s complicated family, although they were far too polite to say so.

Anna glanced across the car. Phil was resting his elbow on the open window and singing along to Blondie on the radio and not getting the lyrics right, and butterflies fluttered in her chest. They’d managed to talk more, and although he still wasn’t exactly joyful about the possibility of a baby, he definitely wasn’t as panicky as he had been that first night. She reckoned his mood was now at ‘tentatively hopeful’.

Her period was now officially four days late. Though she hadn’t had a clear positive test, her obsessive internet searching suggested that this wasn’t unusual. She hadn’t told anyone else, preferring to hug it to herself until it was definite. Her and Phil’s secret. It was like the month before Christmas, or the last few days of term. A delicious certainty was bubbling inside her that something new was happening. They were taking a step forward – everyone together, properly, for the first time.

For once Anna wasn’t dreading her mother’s veiled, anxious questions about her own grandchildren, usually posed while the two of them made sandwiches in the kitchen well out of earshot of Phil and her dad, because now she could smile enigmatically and say, ‘
Mum
, it’s in hand.’

Somewhere in the car a phone beeped with a text message. They were meeting Anna’s parents in a hotel just outside Ledbury for lunch, and her dad’s new mastery of his mobile meant any rendezvous required multiple progress updates.

‘Is that mine?’ Anna looked round; her bag was on the back seat. ‘Might be my dad, wanting an ETA. You know what he’s like, probably wants to get the menu on standby.’

‘No, I think it’s mine,’ Phil said, turning to find his jacket. ‘You keep your eyes on the road, please. I hope you won’t be teaching Becca to drive like that.’

‘I won’t be teaching her at all unless you promise to take out a massive life insurance policy for me,’ replied Anna happily. ‘And get me a better car.’

‘Oh God,’ said Phil. ‘The
car
. Do you know what six-seaters look like? Minibuses. We’ll look like we’re running a youth club.’

‘Shut up,’ said Anna. ‘Becca won’t be in it, she’ll be away. Five seats will be fine.’

When Phil didn’t rise to that, she glanced across and saw he was frowning at his phone. ‘What?’ she asked. ‘Please don’t tell me it’s work. Don’t they understand what weekends are?’

‘It’s Becca,’ said Phil. ‘She wants us to turn on Skype.’

‘Now?’ The Skype request wasn’t unusual – they Skyped daily with whichever parent they weren’t with –– or rather Lily did; the other two often just waved in passing while Lily recounted her day in bum-numbing detail. ‘I thought they’d be Skype-ing around seven. Weren’t we getting back for that?’

‘That was the plan, yes. I’ll tell her we’re out,’ said Phil. ‘Sarah probably just wants me to tell Chloe she can’t do something ridiculous like get her nose pierced. You know what she’s like, always asking for something totally outrageous so we’ll give in and let her do something plain daft instead. Expectation management. Bet Sarah taught her that too.’

He fiddled with his mobile and Anna carried on driving, pleased that for once she’d taken priority.

But the phone beeped again almost immediately.

‘If that’s Lily worried about the soft toys in the heatwave, tell her we’ll arrange them in the shade,’ she said.

Phil muttered under his breath. ‘Apparently we
have
to go home
now
and Skype Becca. Right now, in capitals.’

Capitals. That didn’t sound like Becca to Anna, and the first ripples of worry began to disturb the surface of her good mood. ‘Are you sure it’s not Chloe texting on Becca’s phone?’

‘There are exclamation marks, too. Lots of them.’

Anna flicked on the indicator, her eyes searching the side of the road for a parking space.
Deal with it before you have time to be annoyed by it
was one of her fail-safe step-parenting tactics. Parents wouldn’t think, they’d just act. She’d had to learn to do that, or else she knew she’d have dissolved in a ball of fury months ago.

‘What are you doing?’ demanded Phil.

‘I’m parking. Call her. If it’s so important, ring her straight back.’ Anna pulled into a space, put on the handbrake and looked at him. She tried not to give in to her crossness. ‘Go on. Then you can sort it out, whatever it is, and we can get on with lunch.’

Phil’s brow creased. Indecision often paralysed him when it came to parenting decisions. That was how Chloe managed to run rings around him so easily. ‘Should I? I mean, what if it’s just some silly row that she’s having with Sarah? You know what they used to be like when they lived with her – winding each other up, then phoning me to referee. I don’t want them to start doing that again. I mean, I don’t want you to . . .’ He paused. ‘It’s not fair on you. This was meant to be
our
time.’

‘Isn’t that the whole point about having kids, according to you?’ said Anna. ‘You never have your own time again?’

‘Don’t start that,’ he said. ‘We’re having a nice day, so far.’

She took a deep breath. ‘If you don’t call Becca back, you’ll only drive
me
mad worrying that she was ringing from the bottom of a well or something. Then she’ll phone us at my mum’s, and she’ll get that face of hers on again. Do it.’ She turned off the engine and folded her arms. ‘Or I will.’

Phil looked as if he was thinking about arguing, but then sighed and dialled the number.

Anna stared at her hands clamped round the steering wheel and focused on the diamond rings on her wedding finger. Two beautiful diamond rings – one exquisite engagement ring, the other an eternity band Phil had given her shortly after the girls moved in, as a silent thank you for dealing with everything. Better that they sorted this out now than at her parents’, where her mum’s eagle eyes would be on her and her dad would be pretending not to notice Phil’s hushed phone conversation in the other room.

‘Becca, it’s Dad,’ said Phil. ‘What’s going on?’

Anna strained her ears to hear what Becca was saying, but Phil had the phone right against his head.

It would be just the same with our kids, she told herself, then immediately knew it wouldn’t be. With their kids,
she’d
be allowed to take this call and deal with this problem. She’d want to. She’d be desperate to know what was upsetting Becca so much. It wouldn’t be a case of sitting here feeling involved but not needed.

Anna closed her eyes and rested a hand on her stomach. The fact that Phil looked so concerned and fatherly only made her more anxious inside. He would love all his children exactly the same. But a new thought had started to spring tiny insidious shoots – what if she loved her own baby just that little bit more than these three? What if she just couldn’t be bothered as much any more, jumping through these endless hoops? Anna knew she’d make herself do it, because she’d never want to let them see, but what if . . . ?

‘Just tell me over the phone,’ he was saying. ‘Anna and I are in the car, we’re on our way to see her mum and dad for lunch.’ He frowned. ‘Becca, don’t talk to me like that. Just tell me . . . Sarah! Did you just grab the phone off Becca? What the hell’s going on?’

‘What?’ Anna mouthed at him, intrigued by the squawks coming from the mobile.

He pressed the phone to his chest and turned to Anna, his brow wrinkled. ‘They’ve all gone mad. I can’t hear anything anyone’s saying because they’re all yelling at the same time. Becca’s on the phone, then Sarah’s in the background yelling at her, and someone’s crying . . .’

‘No singing?’

‘Not even any singing . . . OK. Chloe. What’s happening?’

Phil started to tell Chloe off, but whatever he was saying died in his throat and his face became stony, then concerned.