The Secret Book of Paradys (57 page)

Vusca laughed. He looked away from the eyes, down the orchard. “Yes, you’re not the first coward there. Believe me, it’s not any punishment. You’ll like it. Only virgins can be tiresome. You’d better get in some practice first. Go to the
She-Wolf
. The other places aren’t worth –”

“
No,
Father. I don’t mean any of that. I
can’t
.”

Vusca was exacerbated, embarrassed. (Something in him said, Don’t let him speak. Don’t hear him out.)

“What about your friend Drusus? Hasn’t he –”

“Father, I’ve never even – once, it started – and I couldn’t – I knew if I did – something horrible – it was like falling out of my body, swallowing and choking –” Petrus was no longer rational. His voice was high and hysterical, like a girl’s.

Vusca stood up. He pushed his son away from him.

“You spend too much time with your mother. Go to a harlot and tell
her
all this. Let her put you right.”

He walked away and left Petrus by the trough.

What should I have done then? Heard it, and
known
it. I should have held him in my arms and told him, because I could have reasoned it, could have seen through the flimsy veil. I should have loved him like my son, that he was, and had the courage, with the enemy at our gate, to speak the truth and run him through. By the Light, he knew, he
knew
. Not knowing, and knowing it all. He only came to me for the answer. He would have made the sacrifice.
He was my son
.

Vusca knelt in the cell under the altar.

The purification was over. They were bringing him the wine, now. He needed the wine. He was so cold.

He could not weep, his whole life had taught him steel, not water.

The marriage came two years later. The same girl, fourteen by then. The family had waited, for Vusca’s name was reckoned on. The girl brought a small house with her dowry. It was in the town, near the Baths of Mercurius, a poor area going generally to hovels. There seemed to be a reverse of the arrangement between Vusca and his wife: Petrus installed his bride in her town house, and kept to the farm. He only brought her there when for propriety he must.

She was a pretty girl, a blonde with dark Roman eyes, and all the Roman
ways studiously ingrained in her. Though she was a Christian, she also worshipped the other gods at their festivals.

At first she seemed merely nervous. Eventually it was obvious she was unhappy. At some point, about a year after the wedding, she confided to Lavinia that Petrus had never slept with her. She was still a virgin. She thought it was her fault, that she smelled, or that he despised her barbarian blood. (Vusca only heard of all this later.) Lavinia reassured the girl, and took her to the Isis temple, where they procured some draught or other, an aphrodisiac.

Whatever the plan, it was carried out while the girl was still staying at the farm. She wanted Lavinia’s approval and support, and perhaps to boast of success.

Vusca was off with a couple of the men, hunting. The woods to the north were full of boar that season, though they did not have any luck. They were away five days.

They returned one late afternoon, coming along the west road with the sun behind them. The villa looked as usual, the fields ripening, smoke going up from the bath-house. Then, getting closer, Vusca saw no one was out in the fields or the orchard, that the smoke was not from the bath-house vent, but from a burning strip on the slope beyond. He sent two men running to deal with that and rode fast for the villa.

The slaves and field-workers were clustered in the outer compound. They parted before him and could not seem to find any voices when he shouted at them. Then a mad screaming started in the house. It sounded like a woman in labour. The slaves made signs against evil.

Vusca ran into the building. His actions were horribly prepared. He was not amazed, or alarmed, there was only depression, a sense of futility and defeat.

Lavinia dashed into his arms. She said that in the night Petrus’ wife had gone mad. She had begun to shriek, and done so intermittently ever since. She had also torn herself with her nails. They had had to tie her to her bed. Petrus, who had been with her, had vanished. A window was shattered and there were marks on the wall. Lavinia believed a murderer had got in and killed her son, carrying off the body. This was what had driven the girl insane. Far-fetched as it was, what other explanation could be possible? (She did not admit to the story of her son’s sexual reticence, the aphrodisiac, until three days after.)

Vusca went to see the wife of Petrus.

Lucia watched over her, in apparent terror. The girl was trussed. Her body, partly bare, showed deep bleeding scratches, but her nails had never been long, these were more like the scoring of a bone pin. She screamed and
tossed, then fell slack until another fit of screaming and tossing came over her. She had forgotten speech. The window had been covered now, for it seemed the sounds of pigeons flying by made her worse.

There was a faint odour in the room, something like poultry.

Vusca found that he had gone near the bed, and was staring into the eyes of his son’s wife. They had a curious glaze on them. Then she screamed and screamed and her tongue poked out like a lizard’s.

Retullus Vusca had the wine now, in the room under the altar of Mars Pater. He drank it slowly, longing for the warmth, which did not come.

He thought dimly of the time which followed his son’s disappearance. Was it only now that it seemed to have such a preordained progression?

How they had searched, and not found. How the screams had flickered out in the shuttered room, and the girl who was Petrus’ wife became silent and heavy and pliant like a piece of dough. The day when they knew she was with child. When he first saw the new colour of her eyes, like lotuses in a marsh.

How he heard of a demon in the woods. How a native man was killed and a native girl was raped by something among the trees. How
her
eyes looked, and
her
belly began to swell.

How Retullus Vusca began to go hunting, and when he went away in the twilight of the dawn, not after boar any longer, he saw the lotus eyes of Lavinia watching him from a window.

And when he slept in the woods, he saw the eyes in his sleep, all those eyes made from the amethyst, and waking and lifting his hunting knife he looked and saw the same eyes there, reflecting in the blade.

How he hunted over the hills, above the native hutments, in the woods, going always further and further from the town, the shadow of Rome, and reason.

He wondered if he would discover the polecat man from the hills, who had done this. He did not think he would. Barbarus had died years back of a stomach sickness. But Vusca too kept the small pain under his ribs, the scar of the battle he had not, after all, won –

The woman from the hutment gave birth before term, to a monster. Evidently they killed the baby, which was scaled. The mother died, or they helped her die. Then Petrus’ wife started her labour.

As Vusca was in the atrium collecting his spears and knives for hunting, Lavinia entered. Her hair and robe were loose in the early morning. She smiled and said, “Don’t go.” She had not smiled since Petrus’ “murder.” Now she took Vusca’s hand from the knife and put it on her breast. A flare of lust
went through him. For years he had not gone with any woman. Now he engorged, and in her starving smiling purple eyes he saw the reason.

“Get away from me,” he said. “It isn’t you, you bitch, don’t you know that yet? How we are – what’s in us, with our blood?”

She shook her head, she rubbed herself against him. He went past her, and out of the villa. His dog, which had been running up to him, turned suddenly back with a whine.

“
Good
, Remus,” said Vusca. “Good dog, brave lion. Yes, that’s right. Stay away.” And the dog wagged its tail, trembling.

Vusca leaned on the wall until nausea and darkness subsided.

Then he went towards the hill country.

He realised, almost too late, his error. Or perhaps the god – Mars the Warrior, Mithras, Bringer of Light – perhaps the god told him.

He turned back, got on the road, and reached the town gate before sunset.

Only the whores of the west town now went to the Baths of Mercurius; the deity was their patron, they had some claim. Behind, a plethora of huts had gone up, among mud alleys where once a garden grew. There had been some talk, in a wine-shop, some killings, orgiastic and bloody, the fanatic work of some fresh sect … the women went out in pairs.

The house of Petrus’ wife stood by a ruined shrine, and a great castanea shaded the doorway, while it wormed roots like levers under the wall.

The decrepit slave who kept the door knew Vusca, and let him in. The slave had forgotten, or else did not know, asking after the young master and his wife. Vusca grunted some falsehood. He inquired if the house stayed quiet. The slave said it did, but he was deaf and almost blind. The other slaves had been taken over to the villa or reclaimed by the girl’s family.

The ancient slave brought candles, and bread and wine for Vusca’s repast, then crept off to his quarters on the upper floor.

Vusca ate, and inspected his hunting weapons. Then he doused the light.

Even here, over the quiet night, he could make out the trumpets from the Fort. He had not heard them for a long while.
Gates
, and the first and second watches. Then there was some clatter from a nearby brothel that cut other sounds off from him. He resented that. He visualised the drunken party, the men topped up with lechery and the whores loud with beer, the bad musicians, all the stuff of a paltry world that he had looked down on and which now he nearly envied.

The party guttered and went still at last. An owl cried over the roofs of the town. The dining room, where the slave had taken him, looked on the garden court (weeds and a cracked urn) and he saw the stars, and the opposite roof
over the colonnade and vaguely the stars darkened and the tiled roofs, the pillars, the urn, came clear. An hour to
cockcrow
, dawn. And something was moving on the tiles there,
something
–

Vusca sat in his shadow like stone. What was on the roof? He thought of the owl, the wide wings, a dart of a head – then it was gone.

In the stillness, sharp as a needle, Vusca heard the noise of something inside an upper room across the court.

It was not the slave. The slave slept at the other end of the house. It did not sound like the slave, either. It lightly shuffled, and hopped.

Vusca gripped one of the spears. The knife was in his right hand.

He went to the place where the stair was, and climbed up sightless, silent, to the second storey. He heard the noise again at once, behind a door, a bird’s noise, scuttering and pecking about.

He felt nothing now. His heart raged, but he was numb, as if from poison.

He opened the door, and pushed it, and went through.

It was a room without furnishing, save for some old sacks. A window showed grey sky, and the other way in.

Under the window something was feeding. It glanced up, and a coil of black tissue trailed from its mouth back to the torn-out human heart that lay before it. The mouth was not a mouth, but the beak of a gigantic bird. The eyes shone, two mauve stars came in with it at the window.

Vusca knew it. He knew it for the demon on the amulet, and also he knew it for his only son. Then he plunged forward, kicked it down, crashed upon it, and drove the knife through its left eye into the mindless brain beneath.

The hands and arms held him in a desperate embrace as it died. It was the only time Vusca had been held in the arms of his son. When they let go, the creature was stretched under him, the beak open and the remaining eye glaring.

Vusca stood up. He felt neither triumph nor grief, only an awful freezing coldness. For a time he stayed there, aimless, and the sun started to come and
cockcrow
sounded miles away. The dreadful thing, the worse thing was, he did not know what to do.

It was broad day when he thought of something. He could detect the slave creeping about below by then, and sparrows twittered in the garden court.

Vusca rolled the body of Petrus into a corner, among the sacks. Then he struck fire, and gave the room to it.

When he was sure the flames had hold, he went down and collected the slave, explaining to him that the house was burning. The slave sobbed as they went into the street. Soon a crowd collected, and watchmen came running to tackle the blaze. Vusca got away easily in the confusion. Probably they would save most of the house, but not the upper room. Petrus had had his funeral
pyre. He had even had tears, though they were the tears of a slave, and shed in ignorance.

He did not go back to the villa. He sent a man, discovered in a tavern, a former legionary who had served under him, and was known to Lavinia, to fetch the shield and breast-plate and swords. The man was an habitual drunkard, but could be trusted in the morning, if offered money. That was what the
Auxilia
, the legions, had become. He told the man to ask after his son’s wife.

When the fellow returned he had had a drink or two, but carried all the gear in an untidy bundle. He grumbled, not bothering as to why it was wanted, said he had had nuisance with Vusca’s slaves who seemed to think thievery was afoot. There had been another murder, in the native slum over the river – the heart of the victim was missing. And there had been a fire at Vusca’s son’s house on the west side, did Vusca know? Vusca said he had heard.

“And my daughter-in-law?”

“Ah that,” said the soldier, “
two
of ’em. A fine boy, and a little girl. Now maybe you think that calls for a cup of wine?”

Vusca paid him and gave him his wine, and left him in the tavern.

Vusca went out carrying his nondescript bundle, wrapped in the old army cloak.

He had prayed she would die, and the progeny would die too.

Now he should go to the villa after all, go with the knife, see to it. Simple, to kill a child with amethyst eyes. But he knew he could not.