The Scale (Martha's Way) (38 page)

Her hands went limp, her limbs too heavy to lift or move. She
leaned against the door. Crushed, devastated and numbed all at once. As the
pain welled up inside her, she wept silently.

* * * *

Minka wasn’t sure how long she cried. Somewhere along the
way, Keely and Blake had found her. It wasn’t until something warm was placed
in her hand did she realize Blake was standing before her. The salt from her
tears had dried the areas of her eyes and face and her skin stung when she
touched it.

“I’ve been blind Minx; I never thought you might have
feelings for me.”

“I don’t, not like that. I mean, I thought I did but I
don’t.”

Minka placed the cup on the nearby table and buried her face
in her hands. It touched her that after all that had happened Blake and Keely
were still at her side, willing to hear her out. Releasing an appreciative
sigh, she raised her head to meet their inquisitive gazes.

“I had a crush on you and I felt you chose the more
beautiful twin over…” She let out a dry chuckle.
“Well, plain
me.
It hurt for a while, but not anymore. I was never in love with you
Blake, just the idea of you wanting me.”

“You’re in love with Jason,” Keely chimed quietly.

Minka nodded. There was no point of denying her feelings for
him. “My kiss was a goodbye kiss. I wanted nothing to come out of it.”

Blake, who was still standing by her side, squeezed her
shoulder,
then
walked over to place a kiss on Keely’s
lips. “Don’t worry, Minx, no harm’s done. I wish you told me how you felt
sooner, though. I’m sorry for inadvertently causing you pain.”

Minka shook her head. The last thing she needed from Blake
was apology. It should be the other way around. “I hurt you and Keely.” She
looked at her sister. “I’m sorry.”

 
“I’ll leave you
two alone to talk.” With one last squeeze of his fiancée’s hand, Blake slipped
out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving her alone with Keely.

Disgusted with her actions, Minka twisted one of her curls
and pressed her knees together. Her sister continued to watch her, but the
wrath from earlier was no longer visible in her eyes.

For a while neither woman spoke. The only sound that existed
between them was the ticking of the large clock on the wall.

“How come we’re not friends?” Keely asked, breaking the
silence.

The question struck her and delivered an amount of pain and
remorse Minka never allowed herself to be open to before. Avoiding her sister’s
probing eyes, she searched her mind for a viable answer but the only two
plausible excuses she came up with were weak even to her.
You’re more beautiful than me and you’re marrying the man I once
thought belonged to me.
She never thought her actions or lack of, for that
matter, had any effect on Keely. She never thought of her sister.

Stunned by the realization of the unpleasant truth, she said
again. “I’m sorry, Keely.”

Her apology was met by harsh, dead air.

“I’ve always been jealous of you,” Minka admitted with a
melancholy smile. “You’re the beautiful twin, the model turned successful
designer with the handsome, successful fiancé.” She paused to fight back the
tears but they were already down her cheeks. With a swipe of her hand, she
brushed them away. “Mom is proud of who you are. Me, I’m just the fat girl.
Yet, still, I am sorry, Keely. I fucked up pretty bad.”

Keely walked over and sat on the sofa across from her. For a
moment, she remained silent and continued to watch Minka. When she finally
spoke, her voice was calm and reserved. “For so long I couldn’t understand the
wall between us. I fought so hard to have a close relationship with you, but
you kept pushing me away.”

There was no contempt in Keely’s voice; it was filled with
emotional distress Minka never knew existed. With her shoulders curled over her
chest, Minka rubbed her wrists.

“We are twins, I know, fraternal twins as you often remind
me.” Keely raised a hand. “But Minka, I feel your pain, your discomfort, your
anguish. I feel it all, even the happiness you found with Jason. I feel that
too.” She paused to examine Minka. “The question is do you ever allow yourself
to feel my pain, sorrow, or happiness?”

The pointed question caused Minka’s chest to tighten with
guilt. Thoughts filled with self-loathing washed over her and her cheeks burned
with shame. The reality was, not once had she thought of Keely’s feelings or
how her behavior might have affected her twin. And this made her the worst twin
ever.

Keely rose to her feet. “That’s the difference between us.
Everything I do, I think of you. Even dragging you here and asking you to be my
maid of honor, even though I knew being part of my wedding was the last thing
you wanted to do because you never showed any interest in my happiness, my
life, but I wanted you here and I hoped it would bring us closer.”

Minka pressed her lips together from speaking. Nothing could
take away the pain she had caused, the hurt and the betrayal.

“I’m not more beautiful than you Minka,” Keely said in that
quiet, controlled tone, “at least not physically. You want to know the
difference between you and me? I view things differently than you. I don’t
dwell on my flaws; I don’t let my lack become my crutch.” She turned to Minka,
her chin high, her eyes protruding. “You are a coward.”

Ouch
. That hurt.
Minka cringed.

“You should have told Blake how dating me made you feel. You
should have told me. Instead you let your resentment stew inside you to the
point where you threw away your own happiness.”

A wave of cold passed through her. “I want to make us
better. I don’t want you to hate me. Please tell me you don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. By tomorrow, I may even forgive you. But
tonight I’m angry and hurt. I think I will be hurt for a while. But I’ll work
on that and perhaps we can work on us being sisters as well. You think we can
try…to be friends, that is?”

Were her ears deceiving her?

Surely Keely wasn’t giving her another chance.

With reluctance, she met her sister’s gaze and read the
message loud and clear. No matter what, Keely still loved her. Her thoughts
scattered, too excited to think and a smile that could no longer be contained
spilled over Keely’s face.

Warmth radiated throughout her body, her racing heartbeat
drumming in her chest. She might not have succeeded with Jason, but Keely was
giving her another chance. Hope.

Ultra-awake, rejuvenated by adrenaline, Minka came to her
feet, all the while quivering with the effort of controlling herself. She
clasped her sister’s hands, with steady eye contact, Minka moved closer, into
her twin’s personal space.

“Yes,” she answered in a soft tone. “I’d like that.” She
actually meant it. “I love you, Keely. And I’ve been trying to be a better
sister, twin.”

“You failed today.”

“With flying colors,” she admitted.

Keely’s lips broke into a smile. “Good thing I love you so
much.”

Minka wrapped her arms around her sister and pulled her into
a tight hug. Minka felt her hesitate for a fraction of a second. She didn’t
blame her twin, showing her affection had not been Minka’s motto. But slowly,
her sister’s hands came to wrap around her and for what seemed like forever,
the two sisters stood in each other’s embrace as years of anger, confusion, and
resentment washed away.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

“There is no rating
scale for love, it is immeasurable, but often times uneven.”

HTG

Minka fought back the tears as hard as she could, but her
eyes moistened anyway. As she expected, her sister dazzled in her wedding gown,
yet what struck Minka the most was the love on Keely’s face and the joy on
Blake’s as her sister walked down the aisle into the arms of her soon-to-be
husband. All the while, Claire’s sensual voice sang a rendition of Ben Harper’s
Forever
.

The lyrics were fitting, more like perfect. Keely looked
breathtaking, sexy, and calm, quite contrary to the adrenaline rush Minka knew
existed within her.

She tried to avoid looking at Jason in fear he might see she
was also daydreaming of the day they stood on the green lawn of Martha’s Way
exchanging their vows. But he drew her in.

As the best man, he was dressed in a single-buttoned fitted
black suit with his hair slicked back away from his face. She remembered the first
time she laid eyes on him and the amount of sexuality he exuded in the room as
he was doing today. Something else was there, tension, in every line of his
body.

The last two days, their paths crossed when necessary. As
the best man and maid of honor, they were forced into situations together.
While he spoke to her when necessary, even in a friendly tone, he made sure not
to spend a second more than necessary around her. As a matter of fact, just
yesterday, she had convinced herself she needed to confess her love and beg for
his forgiveness but stopped short outside his office when she had overheard the
female voice.

“So when are you
taking me out to dinner?” Lisa, the magazine editor said. She was there for the
photo shoot of the inn.

“Not this week, Lisa.”

“You’re still
committed then.
Too bad.”

“There’s no
commitment. I gave my word.”

“Ah, and is there an
expiration date?”

“Tomorrow.”

Unable to continue listening to the conversation, Minka had
run out of the inn.

Today was their expiration. Tomorrow she’d be back on the
ferry heading home with a broken heart.
A self-inflicted
broken heart.

She felt beaten and bruised with scars that would never
heal. This beautiful man, who had his own struggles, had told her he needed her
in his life, practically gave her his fragile
heart
.
And what had she done with it? She had cruelly smashed it to the ground. She
had betrayed him. At least that was how he perceived her actions.

Minka brushed the corner of her eyes, fighting back the
tears, and as she did so, their eyes met. She flashed a weak smile in his
direction. He looked at her, not returning her smile, his eyes dark and
intense, swept over her before turning his attention back to the happy couple.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the
bride,” the preacher officiating said with a smile.

The couple kissed.
A sweet, passionate,
wonderful kiss to a round of applause and whistles, some particularly from Adam
and Forrest.
Then they were announced officially to everyone in
attendance as Mr. and Mrs. Alexander. More whistles and applause followed.
Minka caught her mother leaning onto her father for a kiss, pride and happiness
on both of their faces.

In the past, she would have taken it personal and thought of
all her shortcomings, but today Minka shared their joy.

Jason came to stand beside her as they walked behind the
married couple. An influx of sadness stabbed her heart, making her feel like
she would never be whole again. She missed his touch, his kisses,
his
laughter. She missed him. Hard to believe how attached
one could become to another in such a short time. And now they stood mere
inches away from each other but the distance was never greater.

Minka sat back, soaking in the festivity around her two
hours later. She had danced with her father and all the men in Jason’s life.
Except for him.
Right now he was dancing and laughing with
Claire. That vision made her feel sick to her stomach, not that she should be
or had any reason to be jealous of their relationship, only she wanted to be in
Claire’s place. She wanted to make him laugh again.

Her mother came to sit on the empty chair beside her. No
need to hide her misery, everyone knew she and Jason were on the outs. Still,
she did her best to put a smile on her face.

Her mother’s hand gently rubbed her back. “You look
beautiful.”

“Thanks.”

“You know, your dad and I love you very much.”

Minka nodded. Both of her parents were aware of the kiss
incident. She no longer wanted to relive that moment in her life, and hoped her
mother would spare her.

“He loves you too, you know.” Her mother’s gaze went to the
dance floor. “You need to let him know you love him, hon.
Everyone
makes mistakes.”

“He won’t talk to me.”

“Then take over the situation and make him listen.” With a
smile, Bea touched her cheek. “It’s time for the maid of honor speech. Are you
ready?”

She nodded then came to her feet and nodded at the MC who
quickly announced it was time for her speech. The dance floor cleared, Jason
walked Claire to her table where she sat with her mother and Charles and joined
them. Minka fumbled through her purse and pulled out the white sheet of paper.

Minka closed her eyes and inhaled. When she opened her eyes,
it was to find Jason’s steady gaze on her, unwavering and probing. With all of
her strength she transferred her attention back to the paper in her hands and
delivered the words she had written with him in mind.

“Two weeks ago I came to The Vineyard for my sister and one
of my oldest friend’s wedding. I confess this is the last place I wanted to be.
You see, I envied their love.
So when she asked me to be her maid
of honor, I tried to bail, but she was persistent.
And for that I’m
glad. I’ve learned a lot watching and spending time with them. So here we go.

“We all know it’s difficult to find love in this crazy world
that we live in. I’ve been struggling with the feeling myself. But you see,
like my sister and Blake discovered love, I’ve discovered love. The last two
weeks, I’ve come to understand what love means. I fell in love with this
island. I love my family, my friends. I fell in love with a man. All of that,
in two weeks’ time.
Unbelievable, right?”