The Russian's Secret Baby (The Tonov Triplets Series Book 3) (9 page)

Despite Dimitri’s attempts at conversation during the ride to the hospital, Carmine was mostly silent the entire way there. She couldn’t stop thinking about the night before and that morning and how sweet he had been.

The risk she thought she would be taking if she let Dimitri in was looking less and less like an actual risk each moment. He would be a good father, and a devoted partner. She doubted she would ever have to worry about him cheating on her and he wasn’t like her father. He wouldn’t let them live in financial ruin. Hell, he was so good with money she would almost believe he was incapable of getting into financial straits.

Carmine could also imagine him making breakfast every morning. He really was a good cook and he seemed to enjoy it, unlike her who could really only manage half-burnt toast and takeout.

James was still young enough not to know how much he had suffered from her cooking, but she knew that wouldn’t last long. Dimitri really did seem done with his old life, and she hadn’t seen any signs that he missed it at all. 

He had made it very clear that he wanted them and that he was more than willing to move to DC. She wondered if he would be willing to leave as soon as she had to.

Her old boss had called her a few times to ask her to return to work. While she would have to take a small pay cut and it might be years before she became partner, it was desperately needed work and she would have health insurance again. But the condition was that she would have to be back by the end of the week. Carmine had already started the process of moving James’ treatment back to the Washington, DC hospital. 

Dimitri had no idea it would be that soon. 

She really didn’t know how she was going to tell him, and she was scared that when she did, he would start pressuring her to make a decision. 

But if that’s what you’re worried about, then you should tell him. You don’t need to be with someone who will pressure you
.
She knew that, but she hated handing out tests to people. It felt like manipulation to her.
You have to tell him anyway
.

***

They walked into the hospital a few minutes later. Carmine’s mind was still in turmoil and Dimitri was silent, sensing that she wasn’t in the mood for conversation. As they rounded a corner, Dimitri interrupted her thoughts by grabbing her waist and pulling her towards him and out of the way as a couple of nurses jogged down the hall with a gurney between them.

Carmine hadn’t even heard them coming. 

Dimitri slowly let her go. “Sorry,” he said gruffly, looking away. “Didn’t want you to get run over.”

“Thank you,” she said shakily. “I appreciate it.” Her voice was unsteady and she mentally cursed herself for being so affected just by being in such close proximity with him. How dumb could she be? “Um,” she said, stepping back. “It looks like the coast is clear now.”
Wow. How
awkward can you get?

“Yes,” he said, smiling. “It is. Shall we?” 

“Yes. Let’s go.”
Stop. Talking
.
 

It was still early in the morning, so Carmine wasn’t surprised when they found James still sleeping quietly. They both stood awkwardly, watching him. Neither one of them wanted to take the only seat in the room. “Do you want to go into the lounge?” Carmine whispered. 

Dimitri smiled, relieved. “Yes, let’s go.”

The lounge was also empty and they sat down. Neither one of them said anything and Carmine was starting to feel nervous. She knew she had to tell him. “Dimitri, there’s something I have to tell you.” 

“You don’t want me to come with you to DC,” he said. “You’re worried about me influencing James. I understand. Just know I’ll always be here if you change your mind and you can have money from me whenever you need it.”

Reaching her hand out, she touched his arm. “No that’s not it. Really. I don’t know what I want yet but I have to leave. I have been offered my old job back and I need to be back home by the end of the week.”

Dimitri was silent for a long time and Carmine started to grow anxious from waiting. 

“Why won’t you say anything already?” she asked. 

“How long have you been off work?”

Biting her lower lip, “Shortly after my maternity leave ended. James had been in and out of the hospital and I was unable to do my job. Things were slipping. Everyone thought it was best if I left.”

“And you have been living off your savings all this time?”

“When our health insurance ran out, I had to pay cash for everything. The money was gone so quickly and when this opportunity came up, I couldn’t say no, which was why I asked you for money. But they’ve offered me my old job back and with the money you gave me, James will get the treatment he needs and I can worry less about him.”

“So I might not see you again after this week?” he asked quietly. Carmine listened for any anger, but all she heard was sadness and that made her feel a thousand times worse.

“Yes. No. I don’t know. I really don’t know, Dimitri. It’s hard to trust you but you haven’t given me a reason not to and it’s confusing the hell out of me. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever know.”

“You will,” he said. “Eventually. I’ll always be here if you need me. Take all the time you need.”

Carmine shook her head, feeling worse than ever. “Why do you have to be so sweet?” 

“Because at the moment it’s all I can do,” he said softly. “All I want to do. I want to be there for you and support you with everything; even if that means that I have to stand by while you push me away because of James.”

Carmine didn’t know how to respond. It was all so confusing to her and she didn’t know what to do. But she did know that Dimitri’s support meant a lot to her. She curled up on the couch, tucked her feet up under her and wrapped her arms around his waist, putting her head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” she said. 

Dimitri looked at her, his surprise evident on his face at her display of affection. Carmine was a little surprised herself. It was completely on impulse when she had done that. He put his arm around her and pulled her in closer. “Thank you,” he said. 

They stayed like that for a long time, neither one of them saying anything and just enjoying each other’s company. For Carmine, it felt even more intimate than having sex with him. He had never been able to keep up all of his barriers around her, and even more came down during and after sex, but now all of their barriers were down, and it was just the two of them relaxing in the brief but priceless peace of early morning.

“Carmine?” Dimitri’s hesitant voice broke the silence. 

“Mmm?” she said. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

She looked up to find him looking at her with desire, hunger, and uncertainty. Even though he had been careful not to pressure her, he wanted her so much and with such intensity that he had to ask the question, and that simple request made Carmine sure that she was in love with him.

She sat up and moved even closer to him until their faces were almost touching. She heard a small hitch in his voice and she smiled as she pressed her lips against his. He groaned slightly and cupped her face with his hand as his lips explored hers gently. Lovingly. The touch sent shivers down her spine and made her stomach tingle with pleasure. She pressed harder and slowly slipped her tongue inside his mouth, which opened willingly at her probing. She didn’t feel anything but pleasure from the kiss and if he wanted more, he wasn’t asking for it. He really would respect her wishes. 

Dimitri broke away from her and started kissing her forehead. “I love you.” 

The words came out as a sigh, almost as if he didn’t notice them. Carmine smiled and buried her face in his neck. She knew at that moment, that there was no way she could live her life without him.

Dimitri woke to the sound of his alarm. He shut it off quickly and rubbed his eyes before reaching across the bed to pull his sleepy wife toward him. She smiled at him as she laid her head on his chest. “Hey,” Carmine said. 

“Good morning,” he said, kissing her forehead. “You look incredibly sexy right now.”

She laughed. “You say that every morning.”

“It’s true every morning,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. He had been married to her for more than a year and he still couldn’t believe that she was his. He sighed and ran his hand through her tangled curls, enjoying the feel of it. Carmine kissed his bare chest and he moaned. “You’re torturing me. You know we can’t do that today. It’s too important.”

Carmine groaned and pressed her forehead against his shoulder. “I know. Damn. I can’t believe it’s his first day of kindergarten. I feel so old.”

Dimitri chuckled and kissed her forehead. “Imagine how I feel,” he said. “I’m two years older than you.”

“I suppose we should get up.” 

Dimitri’s hands moved from her hair down to her body. “We have a few minutes before we need to wake him up.”

“Mom! Dimdim!”

Carmine and Dimitri disentangled themselves just as an energetic fiveyearold burst through the door and jumped on their bed. “Get up!” he shouted. “What are you still doing in bed? I need to go to school but I don’t have breakfast, or lunch, or what do I even need for school?”

“What have we talked about with indoor voices?” Carmine asked. “Your teachers will not be happy with you if you shout in class. 

“Sorry,” James said, his voice quieter.

“Your bag is all packed and ready,” Dimitri replied, “With your lunch, pencils, and the toy you picked out for show and tell. Go get dressed. I’ll be out in a minute to make you breakfast.” 

James ran out and Dimitri turned his attention back to Carmine. “That will buy us a couple of minutes,” he said, reaching for her again. 

Carmine smiled but wriggled away from him. “Even if you can be that quick, I can’t be. Come on. Let’s rip the Band-Aid off already and get up.”

Dimitri sighed but complied, pulling the blankets off and standing up. “I love James,” he said. “I really do. But sometimes I can’t wait for him to leave for college.” He pulled open a drawer and found a crisp, white buttondown shirt.

Carmine wrapped her arms around his bare waist from behind. “Believe me, you’re not the only one,” she said, kissing the back of his neck. “But just so you know, I did take an hour off this morning for my son’s very first day of school, so you won’t need that shirt just yet.”

Dimitri grinned and set it aside in favor of a tshirt. “I love you,” he said.

She giggled. “I know. I love you too. And not just because you’re really good in bed.” 

“Good,” he said, turning around to give her a proper kiss. “Because I love you for so many reasons.”

“Guys!” James whined from outside. “I’m starving!”

“Coming, James,” Dimitri called. “Did you brush your teeth?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

He groaned and they could hear him stomping off to the bathroom. Dimitri grinned and pulled away. “I should start making breakfast before he comes back.”

Carmine put her hair up into a simple ponytail and threw the blanket over the bed haphazardly. “So what’s for breakfast?”

“What do you think?”

She grinned. “Excellent.” 

Dimitri went into the kitchen and started heating a frying pan with oil before getting out the bacon, eggs, pepper jack cheese, and poppy seed bagels for the breakfast sandwiches that both mother and son adored. 

Carmine sat down at the kitchen table, looking through a magazine as James came back from the bathroom, carrying a coloring book and a plastic jar of crayons to keep himself preoccupied. 

Ten minutes later, Dimitri served everyone breakfast sandwiches. After eating, he took the dishes and put them in the sink before going to the medicine cabinet and taking out two pill bottles. After checking the labels he opened one, took out a pill and set it in front of James, next to his glass of water before setting the other bottle down in front of Carmine. 

As much as he wanted to be with Carmine and James, it was on the condition that Carmine started her treatment again. Carmine wasn’t happy about it at first, but Dimitri insisted. He couldn’t be worrying about her stressing herself into another heart attack every day for the rest of his life. Luckily, she agreed. 

Carmine swallowed her pill quickly and handed the bottle back to him before turning to her son. “Ready for the bus?” she asked. 

“Yes,” James replied. He closed his coloring book and picked up his crayons, which he ran to put in his toy chest. 

Dimitri and Carmine put on their shoes. “You sure you can only take an hour?” Dimitri asked. 

“Well, maybe two wouldn’t be the end of the world,” she replied, kissing her husband on the cheek. “Let’s get James safely on the bus before we start making plans for later.”

“That shouldn’t be hard. It’s just around the block.”

James put on his new jean jacket and his sneakers before grabbing his bag and dragging it across the floor. 

“Hey, come over here,” Dimitri said, kneeling on one knee. “You need to put it on.”

James looked at him, confused as Dimitri smiled and helped him put the backpack on. Even though they had chosen the smallest one for him, it was still almost the same size as he was and he stumbled around the room trying to get used to the awkwardness of it. “I don’t have to wear it every day, do I, Dimdim?”

“Afraid so,” Dimitri said. “You’ll get used to it.”

He gave an exaggerated sigh and Dimitri could barely hold back a grin. He could never be mad at his son. Not in a million years.

Dimitri and Carmine walked with James to the bus stop, where a couple of other kids were waiting with their parents. James went over and started talking to them as if it was the most natural thing in the world. To him, it was. He had spent so much time making friends in children’s hospitals that Dimitri and Carmine didn’t have to worry about his social life. 

It only took a couple of minutes for the bus to arrive and James waved “I’ll see you after school,” Dimitri called. 

“Bye, Dimdim,” he said as he got on the bus. 

“Dimdim?” one of the other fathers said. “I’ve never heard that one before.”

Dimitri smiled. He had tried to get James to say Dad, but it never stuck. He was starting to like it, even if it did sound like a menu item at a takeout restaurant. “He didn’t know how to pronounce my name when he was younger,” he answered with a smile. “It just stuck.”

The man nodded but Dimitri could tell he didn’t get it. He didn’t care, though. After he and Carmine waved politely to the other parents, they walked back to their twobedroom apartment just slow enough not to look too conspicuous. 

“So, you think you can actually last two hours?” Carmine asked. 

Dimitri put his arm around her waist. “That’s up to you now, isn’t it?”

Dimitri grabbed her hand and went straight to the bedroom as soon as they as shut the apartment door behind them. He kissed her hard, his hands going around her waist as he steered her toward the bedroom. She wrapped her arms around his neck, breaking away to kiss his neck.

Dimitri groaned and gently set her on the bed, just as his phone on the nightstand started to ring.

He swore in Russian as Carmine laughed. “It’s always something, isn’t it?” she said. 

“I’m beginning to really hate these somethings,” he growled. He picked up the phone and checked the caller ID. “It’s Kaleb, probably calling about the next shipment. I’ll call him back.”

He put the phone on silent and tossed it onto the nightstand before turning his attention back to Carmine, thinking of nothing else but her for the next hour.

Smiling at her, he pulled his shirt over his head and peeled his sweatpants off. Carmine’s eyes grew wide at his obvious arousal.

“It’s a good thing Dimdim only refers to your name, because that,” she pointed down, “Is definitely
not
dim.”

She squealed and attempted to scoot farther back on the bed when Dmitri growled and pounced on her. Dragging her giggling beneath him.

“Mind the insults, Mrs. Tolnov, or I might have a mind to ravish you.”

Carmine draped her arms around his neck, “Oh, Mr. Tolnov, that is exactly what I had in mind.”

Dipping his head down, he captured her lips as she moaned. He loved the sounds that she made when they made love. Sliding his hand up under her shirt, he cupped her breast as it swelled in his hand. Nipping at his lips, she pushed him back as she sat up to pull her shirt off. Reaching for her clasp, he tugged her bra free as it joined her shirt on the floor. Giggling like teenagers, she struggled to get out of her pants as they ended up in a tangle of legs and arms on the bed. Rolling her back beneath him, he nuzzled her neck before he settled on an erogenous spot along her collarbone. Licking the spot, he kissed it as she squirmed beneath him.

“Okay, you win,” she panted as his hands were doing crazy things to her body. “I won’t last two hours. Take me now, Dimitri.”

“Your wish is my command,” he murmured against her neck as he lifted her legs.

Sliding easily inside her, he paused briefly, wondering if he would ever grow tired of making love to her. Her impatient squirming snapped him back as he began to plunge in and out.

Resting his upper body on his forearms, he looked down at her as he watched her passion flit across her face. Smiling up at him, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she lifted her head up to kiss him. She parted her lips as his tongue slid inside to entwine with hers as they danced together.

As he continued to plunge in and out, Carmine could feel the familiar tendrils of pleasure sweep through her body as she tightened her legs around him. Digging her heels in, she lifted her hips as he continued to move smoothly inside her. With a small cry, her orgasm burst through her as she began to shake beneath him. Sliding his hands beneath her back, he held her tightly to him as he continued thrust inside her.

With a cry of his own, his orgasm broke through as he thrust against her.

After both of them were satisfied, Carmine got up and kissed him before getting dressed. Dimitri put on a pair of slacks and the white dress shirt he had set aside earlier. 

“I’ll never understand why you still dress up when you work at home,” she told him. “I would kill to be able to wear sweatpants all day.”

“I’m more productive when I’m dressed to work.” He pulled her in for another kiss and smiled. He always smiled now. It was impossible not to when he was with her. She was everything that had been missing from his life and more. Without her, he wouldn’t have James, and he never would have realized that he was in hell running his stupid crime business. Everything was complete as long as he was with her. “I love you,” he whispered. “More than anything.”

“I love you too,” she said, touching her forehead to his for a brief second. “But I’m afraid that if I don’t go soon, I’ll definitely be late for work.”

“I know,’ he said, letting her go. “I should get to work too.” Even though he spent most of his time taking care of James, doing the cooking and cleaning, he had partnered with Kaleb to start a small mail order business where he imported Russian vodkas from small breweries to sell in the United States.

Kaleb managed the shipping from Maine while Dimitri took care of the paperwork. It was very small, making just enough for Kaleb to live off, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t want to work with anyone but Dimitri and with Ian’s cancer in remission, he had more than enough to cover the bills. Still, Dimitri gave him most of the profits since he didn’t need the money and Kaleb had been so loyal to him through so much. Despite Carmine’s initial fears, he was never tempted to augment the profits with illegal dealings. 

Carmine twisted her hair into a tight bun before smoothing out her pencil skirt and grabbing her purse. She kissed Dimitri again and smiled. “Have a good day.” 

“You too.” Dimitri watched her leave. He smiled to himself, feeling completely at peace like he never had before. He never realized that possible liabilities didn’t matter when you weren’t in a dangerous business. If it wasn’t for Carmine, he never would have realized that nor would he ever be this happy.