The Romance Novel Cure (21 page)

“Yeah.” She looked down, her cheeks reddening.

His new favorite color, forever.
Red
.

She uncapped the marker slowly, took his wrist and pulled his arm closer. His breath hitched in his throat. Glancing at him once, her eyes filled with laughter, her mouth pursed, she looked down at the underside of his forearm as she wrote seven digits slowly and carefully in the red ink. Capping the pen, she released his wrist. He waited, but she looked down, allowing her hair to swing forward and hide her face. His hand felt like it was burning, he wanted to touch her thick, chin-length hair so much. He wanted to push it back, anchor it behind her ear, and see her flushed face, see that shy smile again. See if laughter and more hid in her eyes. When she didn’t look up, he pulled his arm back.

“Alma.” He waited. He saw her take a quick breath and then she looked up at him. He had been feeling such an edgy kind of excitement, but when she looked up, something shifted. There was an uncertainty, a vulnerability in her expression. It made him want to make everything okay. To take care of her. It was a simultaneously new and familiar feeling, which was confusing. “I’ll call you, okay? If you still want to go out with me, great. No… no pressure. Just. Thanks. For everything today. I mean it.”

He saw her swallow, saw her eye lashes flutter down, hiding her eyes. But then, oh, then. She looked up again and she smiled, really big this time. And all he could do was smile back. He was a mess after working all day, he hadn’t slept much in nearly a year, he worried about money every day, but right in that moment, with his arm full of drawings of trees and seeds and birds and stars and colors and numbers, his eyes full of Alma’s smile, all he could do was feel happy.

Leaving was completely awkward, but he tried to be cool and not fall on his face. Alma walked him to the door. She seemed to be having a hard time looking at him again, so he kept quiet and just thanked her again.

Once in his car, he entered her number in his phone. He took a photograph of his arm, marveling again at the drawing she had done. He saved the photograph and also made it Alma’s picture connected with her number. Driving to Elijah’s preschool, he wondered how people who were single parents actually dated. Pondering this, he walked into the preschool.

“Everything okay?” Greta was at the front desk, hanging up the phone.

“Well, actually, I have a question.” He stopped in front of her.

“Is Elijah okay?” Worriedly, she stood up.

“Yeah, he’s great.” Daniel smiled. “No, it’s just, I wondered if any of the teachers here or the helpers do any babysitting. Like, on a weekend evening. I don’t have a babysitter for Elijah.”

“Yes, two of the assistants who are just part time also do baby sitting. They’re not licensed or anything, they aren’t affiliated with the preschool in any way when they do babysitting, you know? Elsa and Maggie, they’re both great with children. Do you want their numbers?” Greta looked really happy for some reason.

“Thanks, yeah, that would be great.” He shifted from foot to foot. “Have both of them worked with Elijah before? You would trust them? Obviously, you would. I’m sorry.”

Greta nodded, understanding in her eyes. “Yes, they’ve both helped out in the baby classroom. And, I understand. You’re a good dad.” She wrote down the names and numbers of the two assistants and handed the sheet of paper to him.

More numbers, thought Daniel, as he thanked her.

He looked into the window on the door of the classroom, and saw Elijah holding two rattles, one in each hand. He crawled slowly from the carpeted area to the section that had vinyl flooring, then back again. Daniel opened the door. Elijah looked up and beamed. Another thing Daniel would never, ever get used to: how Elijah’s face broke into the most joyful, happy smile when Daniel picked him up at the end of the day. Everything else faded as he crouched down to see his son. Elijah transitioned into sitting, still carefully holding the two rattles.

He held them up to Daniel. “Da.”

“You got rattles, buddy? Yeah!” Daniel grinned.

“He has invented a new game,” said Maria, setting down a baby whose diaper she had just changed. “He holds the rattles and crawls on the carpet. He hears a quiet sound. He crawls on the harder floor there and he hears:
tac, tac, tac
! A louder sound. Again and again.” She nodded proudly.

Daniel was amazed, gazing at Elijah. His little guy was learning so much, every day, figuring out all kinds of things about the world. Elijah dropped one of the rattles. Then he passed the one that he was still holding from one hand to another and back again. “Ah. Da!” He beamed at Daniel.

“Wow, look at you, Mr. Man. Rattle going back and forth like that? Cool, Elijah, way cool.”

He placed his hands on Elijah’s small but sturdy torso and gently lifted him under his arms, pulling him close. He kissed his son’s cheek and felt that feeling he so often got since becoming a dad. It centered in his chest, but took over everything. It was the feeling that he wanted to protect Elijah from everything, always. Keep him safe. Make everything okay. As he stood up to grab the diaper bag, holding Elijah against his chest, he was distracted by a realization. Just a little while ago, he had felt an almost similar sensation. When Alma hadn’t seemed to be able to look back up at him, after she wrote her number down. When she had let her hair obscure her face, and he had wanted to tuck her hair behind her ears. He had wanted to lean forward, look in her eyes, check with her. He had wanted to make everything okay. He had felt protective of her. Protectiveness. He usually only felt that for Elijah. While he thanked Maria, and helped Elijah wave bye to her and the two other babies there, he felt distracted by that sudden insight, not knowing what to make of it.

* * *

Scott, Ben, and Laura entered Graphite. Laura and Scott looked at Alma. She tried to keep a very casual expression on her face.

“Hi, guys,” she said. “How did everything go?”

“I learned I have absolutely no skills upon which to draw when it comes to interior design,” said Ben, rubbing his face. “Anyone want some tea? I’m going to make a whole pot.”

“Yes, please,” said Laura. “You want some, too, right Scott? Right Alma?” She turned toward then and nodded, frowning.

“Uh, yes? Please. We all want some of your delicious and soothing green tea,” said Scott slowly, shaking his head at Laura and raising his eyebrows.

After Laura made sure Ben was all the way in the break room kitchen area, the door closed behind him, she turned back to Scott and Alma. “If he makes a big pot of tea it will take him longer, so we can grill Alma mercilessly.”

“Grilling commences immediately. Alma, tell us everything.” Scott pulled two chairs over to Alma’s desk.

“I drew all over his arm and he asked me out on a date and I said yes.” Alma clamped her hand over her mouth.

“Wait, what? What?” Scott sat bolt upright.

“Seriously? Seriously?” Laura whispered, leaning forward, her eyes full of delight.

“Wait, what?” Scott blinked rapidly. “Tell it from the beginning. From the beginning!”

“He didn’t know what kind of graphic design session he wanted. I think he has some sort of manual labor job, I don’t know, I didn’t ask. But he didn’t need anything like a website designed, or business cards.”

Laura and Scott nodded breathlessly.

“So,” Alma continued. “I showed him a slide show of some of my recent work, so he could get an idea of what I do. And somehow we talked about colors and how I had got paint on him, at the mural painting day, yes, it was the same guy.”

Laura and Scott clutched one another.

“The scratchy voiced tiger guy?” Scott said faintly, closing his eyes.

“It was a lion, right Alma? The happy lion voiced guy?” Laura nodded.

“A
friendly
lion, he sounds like a friendly lion,” said Alma, trying not to laugh.

“Go on, go on,” said Scott.

“Okay, so I said, wait, back up. He said he wanted to get his tattoos completed one day.”

“Wait, what? Tattoos?” Scott looked very interested.

“Full sleeves, both arms.” Alma felt her cheeks flushing.

“
Really
?” Laura bit her lip, then grinned at Alma.

“So, yes, anyway,” said Alma quickly. “He said he didn’t have plans to finish them any time soon but wondered if I had any ideas how they could be finished. I said I could make a sketch for him.”

Scott and Laura nodded, looking as though they hadn’t exhaled in a while.

“Then he said… he said… I should draw it right on his arm. And he held his arm out. So I did! And then he asked me for my number, well, I mean, he asked me out for dinner, for a date, and I took the pen and wrote my number on his arm, where there was a little room for it.”

Laura’s and Scott’s mouths fell open slowly.

Scott closed his eyes. “Tell me that story again. From the beginning. Start it again. Once upon a time there was a lion… A lion with hot tattoos and a blue collar job…”

Alma laughed and covered her face. “Maybe he’ll call me, I don’t know. I couldn’t believe it.”

“Was he really flirting with you, the whole time?” Laura asked.

“No,” answered Alma, slowly. “Not really. But in his eyes, I don’t know. It kind of seemed like he was.”

Scott nodded, sighing. Laura grinned.

Ben came out of the break room with cups on a tray, and handed everyone a cup of tea. “What am I missing? You all have this air of suppressed mirth. Glee, even.”

“Just over stimulated from the shopping expedition. Thanks for the tea, Ben, this will ground me,” said Scott. “I know I need an energy balancing session. And I feel really off not having our yoga time all together.” He walked with Ben over to Ben’s desk and began asking him about a project.

Every lunch break, the designers at Graphite ate together and did yoga in a small conference room that had been made over to be a meditation and yoga practice place. Scott believed it helped them all bond and manage stress.

Laura patted Alma’s back and went to her desk.

Alma turned to her computer and tried to focus on getting some work done. As she read what she had written, though, she couldn’t help but remember something. When she had said good-bye to Daniel, at the door, she hadn’t needed to look up very much. He was much taller than she, nearly everyone was, but just compared to Ben, who was quite tall, she didn’t have to crane her neck back to meet Daniel’s eyes. She noticed that she liked that. She liked that very much. It somehow made him seem… closer. More in focus. She blinked and tried to concentrate on her project. One other thing, though. Whenever she met Ben’s eyes, she saw so much affection and respect. She had always loved that, how kind his eyes always were. Since she had developed the crush, it had been hard to meet his eyes, but whenever she did, there it was, that steady friendship, right in his eyes. It had been hard to meet Daniel’s eyes. She had felt shy. But whenever she had, she had seen such a spark there. A spark of regard, curiosity, appreciation, awareness, interest. She didn’t know what to call it, but it was there, a spark. Heat. Attraction. She liked seeing that spark. She liked it a lot.

“Alma? Can I ask your opinion?” Ben was leaning back in his chair, looking at her.

“Yes, of course.” Her stomach did its usual swooping and falling. She sat up straighter, squaring her shoulders.

“I’m at that point where I’m completely lacking any distance and clarity about this project. Will you take a look? And promise to let me know if it’s over the top new age or if it works?”

Alma got up and walked over to Ben’s desk and sat down carefully beside him, but not too close. He angled the computer screen toward her and crossed his arms. She leaned forward, clicked, and got lost in the images until she surfaced.

“Wow.” She sighed. “Love.”

“Really?” He sighed, grinned, and ran his hands through his hair.

She tried not to notice how that made his hair look so messy. In such a good way.

“Yeah.” She nodded, looking at the website that Ben had designed. “It’s like taking a walk in an enchanted Zen garden or something.”

“That is just what I was going for.” He took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back.

“It’s for a therapist?” Alma clicked and read.

“Yeah.” Ben’s voice got quieter. “She had a really limited website. She… Greta and I were her clients, for a while. She really helps people, she has this vision of helping people be happy. So when she asked me about working with her on a website, I just wanted it to come out the way she envisioned it, and I started to think I went over the top with some of it.”

“No.” She shook her head. “It really works.” She glanced at him. Greta and he had gone to therapy?

“Alma?” Ben picked up a pen and turned it around in his hands.

“Yes? Ben, it looks great, really. I would not change a thing. It’s clear, it’s beautiful. It flows. Perfect.”

“No. I just wanted to ask you something.” He didn’t look at her.

“What is it?” Her stomach continued its acrobatics. Just being near him. How could she ever get over this response to him? She glanced at him again.

“You’re not… mad at me or anything, are you?”

“What?” She couldn’t believe what he had asked her. Oh no. “What? No! No.” She shook her head.

“Okay, just wanted to make sure I hadn’t done anything or said anything… to make you angry, or hurt your feelings. I don’t always say the right thing.” He looked at her quickly, his eyes dark and troubled.

Her heart sank. She had been trying so hard to act normally, and she had been failing. If he had seen something different, something off in her demeanor toward him, how close was he to discovering the truth? The thought made her panic. There had to be a way, if she just kept trying, to get back to feeling nothing but friendship for him.

She swallowed and spoke carefully. “I promise you, I absolutely promise you, Ben. You did nothing to hurt me, to anger me. Nothing.”

He looked at her again, for a longer moment, and he looked relieved. He nodded, sat back, seeming more relaxed.

She took a breath. “I’m going through a kind of stage in my life right now. If I seem to act… differently or distant or something, just believe me, I’m not angry at you.”

“But, are you okay?” His eyes locked on hers, so warm and concerned.

Don’t
, she thought.
Don’t look at me like that
. “Yes, I really am okay.”

“If there’s anything I can do, if you ever want to talk, Alma, you know I’m here for you. You and Laura and Scott and Patrick… you were there for me when I was going through such a rough time. I’ll never forget that. Never.”

“Thank you.” Her throat was tight. “I’m happy for you, that you are feeling better now.” She had to stop talking. She heard a quiver in her voice on those final words. She started to stand up and Ben spoke again.