The Rock'n'Roll Romance Box Set (Pam Howes Rock'n'Roll Romance Series) (64 page)

  
‘I don’t know; when I
pluck up the courage I suppose. It’s my own fault I’m pregnant. I missed a
couple of my pills.’

  
‘Ye Gods, Livvy.’ Sean
shook his head. ‘Rather you than me, love. He’ll be livid, but you’ll have to
tell him sooner rather than later, because you’re looking rounder by the day,
so you are. As soon as he claps eyes on you he’ll see you’re in the club.’

  
Livvy patted her tummy
proudly. ‘I know. I had to move the button on my skirt this morning.’ She
picked up the mugs. ‘I’ll go and wash these.’

  
Sean stared after her as
she waltzed into the staff room. ‘Is
she
for real or what? I don’t fancy
being caught in the cross fire of this little lot, do you?’

  
Jon shrugged his
shoulders. ‘I don’t think we’ve much choice. We’re bang in the middle of the
bloody firing line.’

***

‘Oh, those look nice.’ Jane admired the mountain of brightly
coloured corduroy and brushed cotton fabric samples that Sammy was wading
through. She picked up a pastel pink and grey check that was pinned to a piece
of pink jumbo cord and ran her fingers over the soft, velvety pile.

  
‘I thought they’d make up
into toddler outfits,’ Sammy said. ‘They’re hard wearing and there’s a
selection of primary colours too. What do you think, Jane?’

  
‘Brilliant,’ Jane nodded.
‘Where have the samples come from? It’s not our usual supplier, is it?’

  
‘No, it’s not. It’s
someone Stuart Green knows. They’re actually American fabrics, but they’re
reasonably priced. Stuart brought them over this morning. We had coffee and a
chat and he left them with me to browse through. He’s acting as a rep for a
friend and he’s hoping to set up in business by importing fabric from the
States and
Europe
.’

  
‘So, Stu’s back in the
rag trade after his foray into selling records?’

  
‘He is, but he’s not
designing anymore,’ Sammy replied. ‘He’s got some really good contacts, so
we
might do well out of it.’

  
‘We’re too late for the
winter catalogue and the fabrics are too warm for summer. So when do you plan
on using them?’

  
‘What do you reckon to a
Winter/Spring supplement? We could add a few more items to the range. Perhaps
some smocked dresses in the checks and maybe jackets and long pants in the
cord?’

  
‘Yeah, great idea.’ Jane
was so pleased to see Sammy looking animated again that she would have agreed to
anything.
      

  
‘I’ll do some sketches
tomorrow and we’ll take it from there,’ Sammy said. ‘How’s Jess?’

  
‘Okay, we’re getting
there very slowly. We didn’t have tears last night, or this morning. But she
won’t have the radio on or listen to any records at the moment. Anything she
and Nick used to sing triggers her off. She’s spending a lot of time with my
mum and dad. Then she just goes to her room and waits for Jon to come home.
He’s brilliant with her, but it’s causing him problems with Helen. Anyway, how
are you and Roy? How did it go when you got home last night? Eddie told me
Roy
might be moving out for a while.’

  
‘He is - today. He’s
booked into a hotel, don’t know which one, I didn’t hang around to find out. He
said he’d find a flat to rent until we’re sorted,’ Sammy replied, almost
dismissively. She looked at her watch. ‘I’ll leave now. I want to pop into
Kendals to buy new bedding to brighten up the guest rooms for Pat and Tim. ‘I’m
so excited. I can’t wait to see them again.’

  
Jane looked at Sammy and
shook her head. ‘
Roy
’s going to be really lonely. He’s lost Nick, now he’s losing his
home, you and Jason.’

  
‘He should have thought
about that before he jumped into bed with Livvy. I’ve no sympathy for him.’

  
Jane sighed. ‘But he’s never
been unfaithful before. He wasn’t seeing her for very long. He hasn’t even been
in touch with her since the night it finished. Can’t you find it in your heart
to forgive him?’

  
‘Could
you,
if it
were Ed?’

  
‘Yeah, and I did. Ed hurt
me more than I would ever have thought possible when he married Angie. But I
forgave him.
You’re
still in love
with
Roy
; you know you are. You’re throwing
away a lifetime over one mistake.’

  
‘He might do it again,
Jane. How can I ever trust him?’

  
‘He won’t. He’s a broken
man. You can see it in his face. He’s desperate to make amends but you’re not
even willing to try.’

  
‘We need this break. It’s
better this way. I can’t stomach him near me. My mind conjures up the smell on
him that night. It’s awful, I know, but I can’t help it, I really can’t. It
isn’t doing
him
any good either, my
constantly rejecting him.’

  
‘Well, I still think you
could try a bit harder. How’s Jason?’

  
‘I don’t know. He wasn’t
home last night when we got in and he was still in bed this morning when I left
the house. I want to try and preserve a bit of normality for
him
if possible. Ah, normality!’ Sammy
snorted. ‘Who the hell am I kidding? One son dead, the other thinks he’s gay
and a song-writing adulterer for a husband.’ She chewed her lip and continued.
‘All the time Roy and Ed were in the spotlight we tried to live a fairly normal
life and we managed it most of the time. None of the kids, apart from Jon, knew
their Dad’s were famous. The group was a job, like the song-writing is. It’s a
means of support at the end of the day. But since the accident and Nick’s
death, there’s been bloody reporters prowling round the lane again. If they get
wind of
Roy
’s affair with air-head and they
suss Jason out as gay, then God help us. They’ll be raking up all sorts of muck
from the past and normality will fly out the window. Oh dear, Pat and Tim don’t
know what they’re coming back to.’

  
‘They do,’ Jane said. ‘Ed
spoke to Tim and put him fully in the picture. No one knows about Jason of
course, just you and I. But if he and Jules are always together, and unless
they’re very discreet, then like you say, God help us.’

  
Sammy stood up and
stretched. ‘Well, I’m off. I’ll leave things in your very capable hands. Will
you have a quick word with Ruby? See what she thinks about these fabrics and my
ideas for them. I’ll call you tonight. Bye, Jane.’

 
‘Bye,’ Jane called,
staring after Sammy’s departing back.

***

Eddie could hear sobbing and called up the stairs. ‘Jess, are you
okay?’

  
‘Dad, can you come here
please?’ Jess yelled a note of hysteria in her voice.

  
He raced upstairs two at
a time. Jess was sitting on the landing, tears pouring down her cheeks.
‘Darling, what’s the matter? Why are you out here?’ He cradled her in his arms.

  
‘I fell over, I want Nick,
Dad. I want Nick. I can’t bear this.’

  
Eddie swallowed the lump
in his throat. ‘Jess, I wish I could give you what you want, I really do. I
swore when you were born that you would have everything you ever needed. But
the one thing I can’t give you is Nick.’ He held her tightly, kissing the top
of her head. He really thought that she’d been making a bit of progress, but
now they appeared to be back to square one.

  
‘What triggered this?’ he
asked gently, wiping her eyes and nose with his hanky.

  
‘I was looking at the
photos of Nick’s eighteenth and
Brittany
. I shouldn’t have done it. It’s
too soon. I was lying on my bed thinking about the way we used to be and I
couldn’t picture his face. It was gone from my memory so I panicked and looked
at the photographs. Then I thought back to that day in
Brighton
when you and I had a fight and I
ran to the beach. Nick came and found me and we sat on the pebbles holding each
other. He told me he’d never leave me and that we had a whole lifetime of
loving in front of us.

  
‘We only had four more
months, Dad, only four months and now he’s left me and it’s all gone. All I
have is this awful emptiness and the photographs.’ She took a deep shuddering
breath and looked up, her blue eyes pleading. ‘Help me, Daddy, please.’

  
Eddie covered his eyes
with his hand. ‘I don’t know how to, Jess.’ Only once before in his life had he
felt this inadequate and that was when Mark Fisher kidnapped her.

  
Lennon ambled upstairs
and placed his paw on her shoulder. Whimpering, he licked her salty tears away.

  
‘Lennon, what do you
want?’ She stroked his silky ears. ‘I can’t even take you walkies at the
moment. Do you need to go outside?’

  
‘The front door’s open,’
Eddie sniffed. ‘He’ll find his own way out if he needs to go.’

 
 
‘Eddie, Jess,’ a voice called from the hall.

  
‘We’re up here, Gran,’
Jess replied.
 

  
Enid
walked slowly up the stairs and
looked at father and daughter, sitting on the landing with their arms around
one another. ‘Hello, you two, bad day, is it?’

  
Eddie sniffed. ‘I’m
afraid so, Enid.’

  
Jess sighed and looked at
her grandmother through her tears.

  
‘Come on, love. Do you
want to come next door, or would you rather stay here with your Dad? Let’s go
downstairs while you have a think about it.’
Enid
helped Eddie to lift Jess from the
floor and they made their way downstairs and into the kitchen.

  
Roy
was sitting at the table with his
head in his hands. He raised his eyes wearily as the trio approached. ‘I heard
you upstairs with Jess, so I came in here. I didn’t want to disturb you. Are
you having a bad day, Jess love? Join the club, kid.’

  
‘Oh dear, what will I do
with you all?’
Enid
shook her head.

  
‘It’s not getting any
easier to live with like everyone keeps telling me it will,’
Roy
told
Enid
.

  
‘I don’t suppose it is,
Roy
,’
Enid
replied as she busied herself,
making a pot of tea. ‘And your problems at home aren’t helping you very much
either.’

  
‘I don’t have a home
anymore,’
Roy
said. ‘I left this morning. I’m staying at The Grand in Westlow
for now and I’m going flat hunting tomorrow. I’ve made a couple of appointments
to view places.’

  
‘I’ll come with you, if
you like,’ Eddie offered.

  
‘Thanks, mate. I was
hoping you’d say that. It’s a shame our original flat in Westlow isn’t available.
We could have had a real nostalgia trip down

  
Eddie signalled
frantically with his eyes while Jess smiled through her tears.

  
‘What? Oh shit! Sorry,
Enid
,’
Roy
apologised, clapping his hand over
his mouth and blushing as she plonked a mug of tea in front of him.

  
‘That’s the first time
I’ve ever seen you blush, Roy Cantello, in all the years I’ve known you. At
least you’ve put a smile back on our Jess’s face. Hey, and you needn’t think
I’m that daft either. I knew what went on in that flat and so did Molly. We
used to call it “The Den of Iniquity” and we weren’t far wrong, were we? Well
I’ll leave you to your reminiscing. Get your dad to bring you over to ours,
Jess, when you’re ready.’

  
‘Thanks, Gran, I will.’

  
As
Enid
left the house, Jess turned to
Roy
and smiled. ‘
Roy
, only
you
could have got
away with that in front of Gran. I bet you had some fun at that flat.’

  
Roy
nodded. ‘We certainly did, didn’t
we, mate?’

  
‘Yeah, we did,’ Eddie
replied. ‘Especially as I was seeing your mum again. The time without her
wasn’t so nice, so I do know a
little
of what you’re going through, Jess, believe me.’