The Rock'n'Roll Romance Box Set (Pam Howes Rock'n'Roll Romance Series) (60 page)

  
‘Is she alright? I
haven’t been able to give her much thought these last few weeks. I’ve been so
upset over Nick that nothing else mattered. But as everyone keeps telling me,
life must go on. I suppose I should call her, see if she’s okay. After all,
Nick was
her
friend too. They were
fond of one another before I
mes
sed things up.’

  
‘She’s fine. She wanted
to pay her last respects to Nick, that’s all. Don’t call her, concentrate on
things here with Sammy. Livvy will get over you eventually if you don’t get in
touch.’

  
Roy
nodded. ‘Did she ask after me,
give you any
mes
sages for me?’

  
‘Not a thing. She
realises it’s over and you’re back with Sammy.’
 

***

Eddie went to find Jane. She was sitting in the lounge with Sammy,
and Sean’s wife Tina, all three wearing expressions of grief. He couldn’t begin
to imagine the pain that Sammy and Roy must be experiencing.

  
Jason and Jules were
sitting with Jess and Jon; tell tale signs of tears on their faces. Jon caught
his dad’s eye across the room and walked over.

  
‘Where have you been,
Dad? I was beginning to get worried.’

  
‘I just met someone I
know at the church and got chatting,’ Eddie replied.

  
‘Livvy?’ Jon whispered.
‘Jason saw her too.’

  
Eddie sighed. ‘Yes, it
was Livvy. Don’t tell your mother or Sammy, for God’s sake.’

  
Jon looked closely at his
dad. ‘You know, don’t you? She’s told you.’
  

  
‘I presume we’re talking
about the same thing?’ Eddie said, pulling Jon into the hall.

  
Jon nodded. ‘I guessed
last month and so did Sean. She was constantly checking the calendar and
throwing up, always a sure sign. We promised her we’d support her while she
decides what she wants to do.’

  
‘She doesn’t have a
choice, not with circumstances like these,’ Eddie replied.

  
Jon looked startled.
‘Dad, of course she has a choice. I’m surprised at
you
for saying that. There’s always a choice.’

 
'No, she doesn’t, Jon. If
Livvy goes ahead with the pregnancy, it wouldn’t take long for Sammy to put two
and two together and workout that she’s carrying
Roy
’s baby. Change the subject, here
he co
mes
.’

  
‘Are you two alright for
a drink?’
Roy
asked, peering at their glasses. ‘Top up, Jon?’

  
‘No thanks,
Roy
; I’ll drive home, give Mum and Dad
a chance to have a drink and unwind a bit.’

  
‘What were you talking
about just then?’
Roy
asked Eddie.

  
‘Oh nothing really, were
we, son? Just about Jon getting in touch with Angie’s family. He was supposed
to go to his grandfather’s funeral but because of the accident it went out of
our minds. I’ve suggested he ring Angie’s sister and explain what happened.’

  
Jon nodded his agreement.
‘She’s probably read about the accident in the paper. But I’ll call her. Not
this week though. I can’t get my head around anything at the moment.’

  
‘Fair enough,’ Eddie agreed.
‘Do it when you’re ready.’

  
‘What’s going to happen
to Jess and Nick’s flat? She’s not been back since the accident,’ Jon asked.

  
Eddie shrugged. ‘I’ll
have to let the estate agent know she won’t be back. We’ll empty it soon and
put her things in storage. She’s told your mum she wants to stay at home.
Anyway she can’t manage to do anything for herself until her arm and foot are
out of plaster.’

  
‘Poor kid.’
Roy
looked across at Jess. ‘Her whole
future ruined just because some sodding arsehole couldn’t wait two fucking
minutes. If I ever find out who he is, I’ll kill him, I swear it.’

  
Roy
was getting upset again. Eddie
patted his shoulder in a comforting manner. The grief came in waves, one minute
Roy
was coping and the next he was
flying off the handle or crying.
 

  
‘What really gets me,’
Roy
continued, ‘and I know that they
mean well of course, is when people say it was for the best. How can it be for
the best? I’ve lost my eldest son. That can’t be right, can it? I know he would
have stayed in a coma, but where there’s life there’s hope. Now there’s
nothing, just this bloody big black hole with no bottom. It’s the worst
nightmare in the world. No parent expects to attend their child’s funeral, do
they?’

  
Eddie swallowed the lump
in his throat. ‘I realise how lucky Jane and I are to still have Jess, even
though at this moment she wishes she was with Nick. She says she’s nothing to
live for and listening to her crying herself to sleep at night crucifies me.
I’d like to get my hands round that bastard driver’s neck and wring the fucking
life out of him!’

  
The phone rang out at
that moment and Molly hurried to answer it. She came back into the lounge and
spoke quietly to
Roy
.

  
‘That was your old friend
Stuart Green. He’s on his way over. He’s only just heard the news about Nick.
He’s been away and got back home yesterday. He called to see his mum this
morning and she told him what had happened.’

  
‘It’ll be really nice to
see him again,’
Roy
said. ‘Sammy tried to contact him about the funeral and left a
mes
sage with his mum.’

  
‘Go and tell Sammy,’
Eddie suggested. ‘She always got on well with Stu, and if it hadn’t been for
him and John Grey, there might not be any of us.’

  
‘That’s true,’
Roy
said. ‘Mind you, the way Sammy
feels about
me
at the moment, she probably wishes we’d never met at
all.’

  
‘Well I can’t say I blame
her for
that.
’ Molly looked pointedly
at her son-in-law before sitting down again.
              

  
‘I thought things were
improving between you?’ Eddie frowned.

  
Roy
snorted. ‘You must be joking! She
won’t let me near her. I’m allowed in the same room and bed, on the condition I
keep to my side and don’t touch her. I’ve held her while she’s cried and she’s
held me, but that’s as far as she’ll allow it to go. There’s been no intimate
contact between us for weeks, not even a kiss.’

  
‘Give it time,’ Eddie
said.

 
‘I killed everything we
had that last time I was with Livvy. I can’t ever see Sammy forgiving me for
that. I’m walking on eggshells all the time at the moment. Nick’s death hasn’t
made any difference to how she feels about
me
. The night the accident
happened I blamed myself. I insisted on buying him the bloody car. Sammy said
Nick could have been driving any of our cars and it might still have happened.
But last night she flipped and said the accident
was
my fault and that
maybe Nick’s mind hadn’t been on his driving, that he was upset about us
splitting up. I’m definitely not flavour of the month at the moment, not with
Sammy, her mother, or
my
mother
either come to that.’

***

CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN

Sick at the thought of going behind
Roy
’s back, Eddie pressed the intercom
to Livvy’s flat.

  
She let him in and
invited him to sit on the sofa. As she curled up on the armchair opposite, with
her baggy dungarees, hair scraped up into a pony tail and face devoid of
makeup, she looked like a vulnerable child.

  
His heart went out to
her.

  
‘Would you like a
coffee?’ she asked.
  

  
‘Please, Liv, no sugar,
just a dash of milk. Do you mind if I have a fag?’

  
‘The ashtray’s on the
windowsill.’

  
‘Do you want one?’ he
held out the packet.

  
‘No thank you. I’ve given
up. It’s not good for the baby,’ she said as she left the room.

  
He stared after her. What
the fuck was she on about? He lit up and puffed smoke above his head. He picked
up a pamphlet from the coffee table.
You and
Your Baby.
He shook his head and put it down.

  
Livvy reappeared minutes
later, carrying two mugs and handed one to him. She sat down and took a
sip.
 

  
‘What do you mean?’ he
asked. ‘Not good for the baby.’
  

  
‘It does all sorts of
damage,’ she said and pointed to the pamphlet. ‘It tells you in that. I got it
from the ante-natal clinic when I went to get checked over.’

  
‘But, Livvy, you can’t
have this baby,’ Eddie began. ‘You have to get rid of it. I’ll pay for the
abortion. You can have it done privately and no one need ever know. I thought
that’s what you’d want.’

  
Eyes wide with shock she
banged her mug down on the table and leapt to her feet.

  
‘No way! It’s our baby,
mine and Roy’s. You’ve no right to tell me to get rid of it.’ Flopping down
next to him she burst into tears.
                            

  
He took her in his arms.
She was tiny and it was almost like holding Katie. She sobbed against his
shoulder. He realised, that apart from the problem in hand, the pent up grief
of the last few weeks was coming out. She’d lost a friend and needed to mourn,
like everyone else.

  
‘I’m sorry, Livvy. I came
here to give you support, not to upset you.’

  
She looked up through her
tears. ‘I can’t get rid of it, Ed. Please try and understand how I feel. I love
Roy
. This baby’s all I’ve got now.’

  
He nodded. ‘Let’s start
at the top. First, how will you cope on your own? Where are your family? Will
they help? What will you live off when you give up work? How will you support a
baby
and
yourself? I’m not being
deliberately hard; I know what I’m talking about. I was eighteen when Jon was
born. We really struggled, there were two of us to look after him, and our
parents to help out. It wasn’t easy. For the most part it was a bloody
nightmare. I’d like you think hard about your decision.’

  
She sniffed loudly and he
handed her a tissue. ‘I think about nothing else. I’ve no family. I’ve got some
money in the bank. I’ll be able to take paid maternity leave. When the baby
arrives and I go back to work, I’ll find a childminder. I could do some singing
at night to earn a bit extra.’

  
‘And who’ll look after
the baby then?’

  
She shrugged. ‘I don’t
know. A babysitter - or maybe Roy would help out occasionally.’

  
Eddie took a long drag on
his cigarette and mentally counted to ten.
   

  
‘Livvy, you can’t tell
Roy
about this baby. He’s gone through
enough. He’s trying to work things out with Sam.’

  
‘Well he’ll find out
sooner or later. I can’t hide it away much longer and he has to take
some
responsibility. He was happy enough
to jump into bed with me.’
   

  
‘Do you have any idea
what this will do to Sammy? She’s just lost her precious son, and here
you
are, pregnant by her husband. How the hell do you think she’s going to cope
with that? Then there’s the press. This isn’t a big town. Roy and Sam are very
well known and respected here. You’ll find yourself hounded by reporters and so
will they. It’s not a pleasant experience.

  
‘Do you want to be known
as the woman who destroyed Roy Cantello’s wife? No one will have sympathy for
you. If you really want the child, go back to
Glasgow
and keep your mouth shut about who
the father is.’

  
Livvy sat silently,
chewing her thumbnail. She’d appeared to digest all that he’d said to her, but
made no comment.

  
He stood up. ‘I’m off.
All we’re doing is going around in circles, with us both getting upset and
angry. I’ll call you Wednesday morning before I take the kids to school. You can
tell me then if you’ve changed your mind.’

***

Eddie made his way into
Manchester
. Jon and Sean knew Livvy better
than anyone else and might be able to offer advice.
 

  
Sean greeted him
enthusiastically. ‘Hi, mate, how you doing? Take a pew.’

  
Eddie joined Sean behind
the counter. Jon, coming out of the staff room, arms loaded with LP’s, smiled
to see his father perched on the stool.

  
‘What’s up, Dad? You look
a bit brassed off.’

  
‘I’ve a confession to
make,’ Eddie began. ‘Don’t think too badly of me. I only did it because I
thought it was the right thing. I’ve been to see Livvy.’ He went through what
had happened at Livvy’s flat.

  
‘I’m not surprised she
wants the baby,’ Sean said. ‘What you have to understand, Ed, is that Olivia’s
had her own share of problems. She was adopted as a baby; ten when her parents
split up; then she lived alone with her father. He physically and mentally
abused her and she was taken into care.’

  
‘Bloody hell, I didn’t
know that,’ Eddie said.

  
‘She was left to fend for
herself at sixteen,’ Sean carried on. ‘She came to
Manchester
to start a new life. She began
working for us, met your kids, and the rest, as they say, is history.’

  
‘I feel awful,’ Eddie
said. ‘I’d no idea about the abuse.’

  
‘Well you wouldn’t,’ Sean
said. ‘She confided in me, Jon and Roy. When I sussed her affair with
Roy
, she told me he made her feel
safe.
Roy
’s her first and only lover and I
reckon she also sees him as the father she never had. The reason she wants her
baby, apart from the fact it’s his, is because it’s the start of a family she
can call her own.’

  
‘It’s a
mes
sier situation than I first
realised,’ Eddie said. ‘She must think I’m a right bully, telling her she has
to get rid of it or else.’

  
Jon spoke up. ‘Don’t you
think
Roy
has a right to know?’

  
‘I don’t know what to
think, son. Give me a couple of days. I told her I’ll call her Wednesday
morning, see what she’s decided. Don’t expect she’ll change her mind now, do
you?’

  
Sean shook his head. ‘If
she decides to get rid then there’s no need for
Roy
to know. If not, then he’ll have
to be told. She can’t be expected to shoulder the responsibility on her own.’

  
‘Okay,’ Eddie agreed,
glad he’d shared the problem.

  
‘Dad, did you know
Let's
Love a While Longer
is being released next Monday?’ Jon changed the
subject.

  
‘I had a call from
Spencer Philips last week,’ Eddie replied. ‘What with the memorial service and
everything, it slipped my mind.
Perry’s
Dream’s
supporting
Spandau Ballet
on tour next month and the song should get plenty of airplay. It’d be nice to
have a number one again. It’s been over a year since that happened, although
we’ve had a few top-tenners this last twelve months, so I’m not complaining.’

  
‘When Tim and Pat come
home, have you firm plans to re-form
The
Raiders
?’ asked Sean.

  
‘Yeah, definitely.
Roy
needs something to occupy him and
I’m
ready for performing live
again.’
     

  
Sean grinned broadly.
‘Well, that’s some good news for a nice change. Do you fancy lunch, Ed?’

  
‘Don’t mind if I do,
seeing as I’m in town anyway.’

  
‘Right, I’ll take an
early lunch, Jon. We can go now. The pubs will be just about opening and I
could murder a pint.’

  
‘After this morning, so
could I. See you later, Jon.’

  
‘Bye, Dad. Remind Mum
that I’m going for something to eat with Helen and I’ll be home about
nine-thirty to sit with Jess. By the way, I’m calling Aunt Sally this
afternoon.’

  
‘Are you? Well - it’s up
to you.’
   

  
Sean glanced at Eddie as
they left the shop. ‘Are you okay, Ed? Don’t you like the idea of him getting
in touch?’

  
Eddie shook his head.
‘No, I don’t. They’ve hardly bothered with him, apart from sending cards and
money for his birthdays and Christmas. They wanted him at Angie’s dad’s
funeral, but with the accident it slipped our minds.’

  
‘Well surely it won’t do
any harm. It’s not as if they’re fighting for custody. They’d have done that
when he was a nipper.’

  
Eddie smiled wryly. ‘Over
my dead body. But you’re right of course. What harm can it do?’ Eddie knew Sean
would be shocked if he knew the real reason behind his concerns.

***

‘Thanks, Molly.’ Jane accepted the mug of coffee Sammy’s mum
handed her. ‘I’m really in need of this.’

  
It was their first full
day back at work since the accident and there was a backlog of paperwork to do.
Supervisor Ruby had taken control during the last couple of weeks, with Jane
and Molly popping in whenever they could.

  
Halfway through the
morning, Jane called her mother. Eddie had announced at breakfast that he had
some business to attend to after the school run. Her mum had volunteered to
help Jess with showering and dressing. The plaster cast was due to come off
Jess’s wrist on Thursday, so at least she would have one injured limb
free.
 

  
‘
Hello, Jane love
,’ her mother answered after a few rings.
‘Yes - Jess is fine. She’s gone out for a little
walk with your dad and Lennon. - No, she’s not on her crutches. It’s too much
of a struggle. I don’t know why on earth they gave her crutches in the first
place. What on earth were they thinking of with a broken wrist? Your dad’s put
her in that wheelchair we borrowed. - No, she didn’t object. She wanted to go,
Jane, she asked. Stop fussing, love; she’ll get there. I’ll see you
later.’
 

  
Jane hung up. Mum was
right. She was fussing too much. Jess was usually so independent, but with
limbs in plaster she’d no choice but to be looked after.
 

  
Molly walked through with
a pile of invoices. ‘Are you okay, love?’ she asked dumping them in Jane’s
tray.

  
Jane smiled. ‘Yeah. Mum
just told me to stop fussing over Jess. Dad’s taken her out in a wheelchair.
Can you believe it, Jess going out willingly in a wheelchair?’

  
Molly sighed. ‘It must be
very hard for her. She and Nick were devoted. It’s going to take her a long
time to get over this. When my Samuel was killed, I didn’t want to go on
living, I just wanted to die and be with him. But I had to think about my girls
and carry on for their sakes. It was very hard, but they pulled me through and
then I met Tom and fell in love again.

  
‘Jess needs something to
keep her going. I know they didn’t have kids but
The Zoo
was Nick and Jess’s baby. They lived for that band as well
as each other.’ Molly wiped a tear from her eye and continued. ‘Jason popped in
to see us the other night with Jules. He said the group will probably never
play again. Tom and I think that’s sad, because they’re all so talented. Eddie
and Roy shouldn’t let it go to waste. It would give Jess a focus and while I’m
still angry with
Roy
about the affair, managing the group again will give
him
an extra focus, too.’