The River Leith (23 page)

Leith stood beside his bed, looking around the room. There were photos on the wall of him with apparent friends he didn’t recognize, a punching bag hanging in the corner, and various items that clearly held some sort of meaning for whoever he used to be. He had no clue what they meant or who they were from.

“Well,” Zach said, seeming suddenly shy. “I’ll leave you. There’s clean-up to do, and Janelle hasn’t
—
”

“Zach, wait.” Leith looked around the room. “Where do you sleep? In here with me, right?”

Zach’s hands fluttered nervously. “Well, we used to
—
but you probably want your space until you’re more comfortable. I moved my things back to my old room when they were going to discharge you the first time, before
—
well, before, and
—
”

“Zach, why would I want you to sleep in another room?”

He looked small with his arms crossed protectively over his chest, and his face dangerously vulnerable. Leith wanted to shut the door and do something about that look.

“In the hospital, for a while I thought about just going somewhere else. I came back here because of you, Zach. Because of how I feel when I’m with you.” Leith took him in his arms and kicked the door shut behind him. “Understand?”

Zach nodded, and Leith held him close for a few minutes, breathing in the comforting scent of his cologne before starting at the buttons on his shirt. It had been since the prior night by the campfire, and Leith couldn’t believe how long ago that seemed. He was already hard, and had been since Zach’s face had gone all sweet and defenseless. He didn’t waste any time getting Zach onto the bed.

Before long Zach was on his hands and knees, gripping the bed sheets and burying his noises in the pillow. Leith groaned at the sight, biting his lower lip and slamming into Zach harder just to see him squirm again. Yes, the apartment and room were unfamiliar, and the party had been confusing and stressful, but sharing
this
with Zach washed all of that away in a rush of pleasure and need. He ran his hands over the clenching muscles in Zach’s back before grabbing Zach’s shoulders and fucking him hard.

“Yes,” Zach cried out, reaching back to stroke a hand down Leith’s leg.

“Do you like it hard like this?”

“Oh fuck, yes. Harder even.”

Leith kissed his neck, licking along his ear and pounding his ass in quick strong thrusts. Nothing but Zach existed as he raced to the edge of orgasm, and he threw his head back, searching for it, craving it to blot out the uncomfortable night and the looming anxiety about his future.

A noise caught his attention, and he swung his head toward the suddenly open door and the person standing there.

Leith pulled out of Zach, who flipped over, looking bewildered. Leith quickly jerked the sheets up to cover him and rolled out of bed and into a fighting stance before he even fully registered who had intruded into their space.

“What the fuck?” he shouted.

Zach’s cousin Janelle smirked. “Huh. I always figured Zach would be on top, what with the way you always let him boss you around.”

Pulse pounding and seeing red, Leith roared, “Get the fuck out before I throw you out!” He felt Zach’s hand on his trembling back.

“Leith, calm down.”

“Jeez, chill out, fighter. And use the lock next time!”

Leith clenched his fists, determined to master himself, and repeated the mantra Arthur had drilled into him when he was just a kid: it’s never okay to punch a girl.

Janelle wriggled her fingers in a cutesy wave and took her time closing the door.

“Come on,” Zach said, tugging on Leith’s arm until he joined him again on the bed. “She’s gone now.”

“I think I want to murder her,” Leith muttered, still struggling to get his temper in check.

Groaning, Zach flopped back on the bed and buried his face in the pillow. “No, you won’t get the pleasure. I’m going to murder her first.” He looked up at Leith, his hair mussed and chest still flushed with arousal. “I told you that you didn’t like her.”

“I should have believed you,” Leith said. “God, I was really damn close too.”

“Yeah? You were?”

“So fucking close.”

Zach looked up, his lips in a pout and his eyes pleading. “Leith…can you still…?”

Leith closed his eyes and took a few calming breaths. He opened them again and nodded. The relief in Zach’s eyes warmed him, and he laughed. “Did you get left a little needy?”

Zach bit his lip. “Desperate. You got me all crazy. Please, Leith…” He got back on his hands and knees.

Leith pushed Zach’s legs apart and climbed between them. As he checked the condom and shoved in, he remembered what Janelle had said. He settled his cock deep in Zach’s ass and bent to whisper, “Do you ever do this to me?”

Zach twisted around for a wet kiss. “My God, yes. You love it.”

Leith shuddered and started rocking, grabbing Zach’s hips and holding them still when Zach squirmed against the sheets. “Let’s do that soon,” he whispered. Zach made a desperate noise and grabbed his own cock, jerking it hard and fast while Leith fucked him.

Dr. Thakur sat beside Leith on the bench near the roses. “How’s outside life treating you?”

Leith ran his hands over his jeans and tilted his head back to the sky. “Sure beats a prison,” he said, and then cracked a smile. “It’s good. Things are…good.”

“How are you spending your days?”

Leith shrugged. He wasn’t doing a lot right now, just trying to sort things out. Zach let him behind the counter when things got busy at Blue Flight, but for the most part, Leith looked at his books from CUNY, and thought about his future. He didn’t know if he felt passionate about a career in physical education anymore. When he tried to write down a list of pros and cons, he hid the paper from Zach, not wanting him to see his handwriting. “Trying to figure out my future.”

“The future is like a thousand suns,” Dr. Thakur said, stretching his legs out and crossing his ankles.

“Really bright?” Leith asked, chuckling.

“Yes,” Dr. Thakur said, and then shook his head. “You think I’m full of bullshit, don’t you, Leith?”

“No, of course not.” Leith hoped he sounded convincing.

“And how is Zachariah?”

“He’s…great,” Leith said, smiling as he remembered Zach bustling around Blue Flight earlier, alternately telling Vanessa where to put the vodka and instructing Leith on which buses to take to get to the clinic for his appointment. Zach was so cute when he was being bossy.

“Hmm. No problems with feeling overwhelmed? Somehow I don’t believe that.”

Leith smirked. “I’m fine. When I feel stressed I go running or punch the bag in my room for a while.”

“Those are both pro-active ways to deal with your frustration.”

Leith shrugged his agreement.

“What has been the hardest thing so far?”

Where to start? Maybe when Zach had shown him around the bathroom before bed that first night.
“This is your toothbrush and our toothpaste
—
Marian keeps hers here, but we don’t use it unless we run out before we can buy more. Here’s Ava’s; we never use hers because it tastes disgusting, and having dirty teeth is better. This is where we keep the towels, and the spare toilet paper goes here. This is your shampoo, that’s Ava’s…”
and on and on. Leith had felt like he should be taking notes, or that he was eight and being guided around a friend’s house before a sleepover.

“But you’ve settled in since then?” Dr. Thakur asked.

“Yeah. I’ve had weird things happen, though.”

“Like what?”

“Well, like one day I was at my brother and Zach’s bar, and I realized I knew how to mix drinks. Even drinks I don’t remember from before.”

“How did that feel?”

“Good. Right. But then…”

“What happened?”

“Zach just looked so
hopeful,
and I realized he wants me to get my memories back.”

“Does he?”

Leith sighed. “I don’t know.”

“What does he say?”

“He says he wants to move on.”

“I see. And do you want to move on?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

Dr. Thakur nodded. “And the anger?”

“I feel calm when I’m with Zach, but yeah, sometimes I still get angry.” He remembered Janelle walking in on them making love. “But it’s not too much. I can control it.”