The Rise of Emery James (29 page)

"I'm doing better. Each time it gets easier," I admit.

He gives me a reassuring smile, like he’s proud of me. I like the way it makes me feel.

"I forgot to tell you something," He says. I look up into his face, his eyes dark, yet playful with mischief.

"What is it?" I ask.

He smiles, "You look really pretty tonight."

I feel the smile tug at my lips at his compliment. “You actually already said that,” I point out.

He cocks his head as if trying to remember, “You’re sure?”

"I couldn't forget," I say.

"Hmm, either way, you're beautiful. Sometimes it still surprises me. It takes my breath away." He says it so calmly, like he didn’t just stop my heart with his words. He holds my gaze, but I can’t find words. "Too much?" He asks quietly. His voice slides over my skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

"No. It's nice to hear actually," I admit.

“You should hear it every day,” he says.

I can’t help the blush so I try and hide it by resting my cheek against his shoulder.

I end up giving him three dances before we make it back to the table. When we get there it's clear that girl's night is turning into a free for all. The table is surrounded with people and Cole and I join the group falling into the constant chatter.

He holds my hand beneath the table, my constant lifeline. Listening to him banter back and forth with his friends, seeing him throw his head back as he laughs has me wanting to hold on to this night and this moment for dear life. It has me wanting to hold on to him. Ready or not.

Cole

THIS NIGHT HAS BEEN
amazing. So much more than I had hoped for. I’d only wanted to see Emery and make sure she was okay. The added bonus of watching this amazing girl have fun, seeing her eyes light up and hear her laugh justifies crashing this party. I would have hated to miss this. Call me arrogant, but looking at her, the flush in her cheeks as she smiles at me, I like to believe she's having this kind of fun because I am here. I hope that's the case anyway.

I look down at her when she taps my shoulder. "Dance with me?" she asks.

I wink and move to slide out of the booth, bringing her with me. Everyone is in a debate about the upcoming football season so no one really pays us any attention as we move back towards the floor.

"I just wanted a breather," she says.

"You want to leave?" I ask.

She shakes her head no. "This is good."

I pull her to me, the smell of her skin, her shampoo, her soft floral perfume-- it's all intoxicating. I know I probably shouldn't hold her this close. With each dance I hold her closer, tighter. Each dance has me craving her more. I should probably take a step back and try harder at looking like her friend instead of like a guy who just wants to take her home. But I’m losing the fight.

The music drifts around us, the country song telling our own personal story as we move to the melody. My whole body thrums with energy. With want. With need. I'm not alone. I feel it rolling off of her just the same. We're dancing along a very dangerous line together. And right now all I want to do is push us both over it.

"It feels good to have you in my arms like this," I say softly. "I hope that's okay to admit."

"I like it too," she says smiling up at me. There is a hesitant hunger behind her eyes and just knowing that we're on the same page when it comes to whatever is happening between us makes me feel hopeful.

I want to give her so much. I want to erase every doubt and fill her heart with new memories, the kind that fill her with joy instead of regret.

She is pulled in so close, her head on my shoulder, and there really isn't any space between us. I would dance with her forever if it meant I could be this close to her, her warmth pressed against me, her breath mixing with my own, the intoxicating scent of her clouding my senses.

I want her.

I can’t help it. The need has grown steadily since I first knocked on her door months ago. I long for the moment when she’ll be ready to let go and lose herself in something other than her grief. When she’s ready to lose herself in me. If I could just take everything else away, for just one moment I wonder if she’d be able to see all of the good things ahead. If I could make her feel loved – completely would she be able to break free from the things that are causing her to doubt? Am I just a horny asshole making excuses?

Probably.

Still, I can’t stop myself as I brush my lips against her ear. "Emery?" I breathe against her skin.

"Yeah?" she asks without lifting her head.

I shouldn’t say what I’m about to say. “I want you.”

I hear her breath catch. I feel it against my chest, but she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t even tense in my arms. She waits for me to continue.

I keep going.

“We can be friends. We can go slow. We can play by the rules. We can do all it all. Tomorrow.” I feel her shiver against me and I decide to go for broke. “Give me tonight, James. Give me the rest of tonight and forget all of the reasons we’re supposed to be careful, all of the reasons we’re supposed to wait. I want tonight. You. Me. Nothing else until morning. For one night let’s pretend that nothing else stands between us.”

I hold my breath waiting for her to say something. To tell me to go to hell or give me a look that says I’ve betrayed her. I wait through the longest moment of my life until she finally pulls back just enough to look up into my eyes, to question whether or not I am serious. I'm dead serious and as soon as she sees the fire in my eyes she knows it.

"Everyone would know," she says. I don't tell her that the way we are glued together probably has everyone talking as it is. I also don’t miss the fact that she didn’t say no. A fact that has my heart thumping erratically in my chest.

"It's not about them. It's only about us. It's not even about tomorrow, only right now. I want to take you home."

She’s thinking. I can see it all playing out in her head. “You want to take me home?” she asks, as if needing to make sure there are no misunderstandings about what I’m asking.

“I want to take you home and spend every moment until sunrise reminding your body what it feels like to be worshiped. I want you, Emery. I want to take you home and get lost in you,” I say bluntly.

She swallows hard and I see the slight shake of her head. I can’t tell if it’s her dismissal or just her shaking away the reservations.

She's going to say no. For all of my promises to not push, I'm practically picking her up and throwing her off the cliff. But I can't seem to stop myself and the look in her eyes tells me she wants to say yes.

“How? We -,” she starts.

"Make an excuse. Tell them anything. Tell them you don't feel well. Tell them anything you need to so that they know I'm taking you home. Lie to them," I say. Her eyes search mine as she reasons out my request. I can see her mind working, trying to make it okay to accept my offer. She wants to find an excuse to leave with me, but it goes against what she thinks she's supposed to do.

"I'm just asking you for tonight, Em," I repeat. I hold her gaze, refusing to let her look away.

"I don't --."

"Just say yes."

Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she looks up at me nervously. But then she nods. A small movement of her head that sends my heart flying and the ache in my dick throbbing.

“Yes? I ask, just to be sure my eyes aren’t playing tricks on me.

“Yes. Take me home, Cole,” she says.

The song ends and I lean into her, my mouth skimming the skin just below her ear. "Don't take too long." Then I walk away. I look back to see her still standing in the middle of the floor, a little dazed, but fucking adorable. She shakes it off and heads back to the table.

I have a feeling the girls will see right through whatever lie she tells. I wasn't exaggerating when I said that we had been putting on a show. Anyone watching us would see straight through us. But I’ll worry about that later.

I walk to the bar and grab a water. I watch Emery sitting in the booth with the other girls. She's fidgeting a little. Maybe she's as impatient as I am to get out of here. God I hope so.

It seems like forever, but fifteen minutes later she joins me at the bar, her purse in her hand. Annie is close at her heels as she approaches. "Hey, Cole, I'm not feeling that great. I don't want to cut the girls’ night short. Do you think you could give me a ride home?" she asks. I have to hand it to her, her voice comes out casual and believable.

"You're not feeling well?" I ask playing along. I school my features to look concerned and not like I'm planning all of the ways I could rip off her clothes.

"Not really. You don't mind?" she asks.

"Of course I'll give you a ride. It'd be my pleasure," I say. I let the words hang between us. She hears the double meaning and I catch the soft blush that colors her cheeks.

"Are you sure, Emery? I can take you," Annie offers.

Emery shakes her head. "You've been drinking. Just stay and have fun and let Jess take you home like we planned. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Fine," she pouts, her arms crossed over her chest. Emery gives her a hug and steps towards me.

"Ready?" she asks.

"More than ready," I say.

I place my hand on the small of her back and lead her through the crowd to the door. The hot humid night air does nothing to cool either of us off. I unlock the truck doors as we approach but as she goes to open it I stop her, the weight of my body pressing against her as my hand covers hers on the door handle. I hear her intake of breath as I speak quietly in her ear, "I got it. Let me take care of you." I pause a beat before taking a step back and opening the door. She mumbles a thank you, but doesn't say anything else and I hope it's because she hears the promise in my words.

She is fidgeting on the ride back to her place. She's quiet and I don't dare say anything to her. I'm afraid if I say anything she will change her mind. I pull into her drive and park the truck, silencing the engine. I steal a glance at her and smile to myself when I see her tongue run across her lip slowly. She's so sexy. I say a little prayer that she won't change her mind. That for once she'll just give in to what she feels. I realize how inappropriate it is to pray that you get laid, but I pretend that the big guy is on my side on this one.

I reach over and slide my hand over hers as her fingers tangle in her lap. "Let's go inside," I suggest quietly.

"Alright," she agrees.

I get out of the truck and move around to her door and she gives me a shy smile as I help her down. I take a moment to slide my arms around her waist and pull her close against me. She stares up at me with big eyes full of nervous desire and I gently brush the hair from her face with my thumb.

"Trust me?" I ask. Her eyes are locked on mine and I feel my heart slam against my chest as I wait for her answer.

"Of course I do," she says softly. I lower my head and softly brush my lips across hers with feather soft movement. It's all I can do to not kiss her until she has to hold on to me for fear of falling. But I wait. Because I know once I start, I won't be able to stop. I want her more than anything right now, but I also want to do this right.

I hold on to her hand as we walk up the steps to her front door. I stand behind her, my body pressed to hers as she looks for her key in her bag. I can feel the nervous energy rippling off of her. Her hands are shaking as she tries to slide the key into the lock. I reach out, covering her hand with mine to steady her and I feel her slow exhale of breath. The lock turns and I lean into her ear to try and reassure her. "I've got you. We don't do anything you aren't ready for. I just want to be with you. More than anything, I just want to hold you in my arms."

I feel her relax. As much as I crave her and want to give her the kind of attention she has been starved for, I won't push her too hard. She has to want this as much as I do for it to happen. I don't think I'm reading her wrong in thinking that she does. We've been fighting this for a while, but I'm still not ready to risk messing this up.

Once we are inside she stands in the foyer awkwardly. It's pretty adorable. I smile and pull her to me, wrapping my arms around her. She's so shy all of a sudden and I just want to calm the back and forth in her brain. She stares up at me, waiting for me to take the lead here.

I brush the hair from her face as I try to convey every one of my feelings.

"We don't have to do anything; you know that right?" I ask.

She nods.

“I would never push you to do anything you aren’t ready for,” I say, needing to reassure her. Needing to know that she really is on board with this.

“I know that, Cole,” she promises. Her fingers reach up tentatively and she traces a thumb across my lips and I have to close my eyes at the touch because it sets my insides on fire. When I open my eyes she’s staring back at me with an expression that is both cautious and brave, but above everything I see my own heat reflected back at me. So I remind her of why I wanted to bring her home.

"I want to touch you. I want to remind you what it's like to be loved thoroughly. I want to spend all night worshiping this beautiful body. I want to give you all of me," I say. I watch as she swallows hard and I smile down at her saying, "But, I'd be happy watching infomercials beside you on the couch or making out with you for hours in the dark, even just falling asleep with you in my arms."

"I know," she says, her voice soft.

"You sure?" I ask. If we do this, I need to know she's doing it because she wants to. This is one thing I can't push her into.

"I'm nervous," she admits.

"I'll take care of you. All you have to do is let go."

"Let go," she repeats as if she's giving herself a mental pep talk.

"Em, you know what you mean to me. This is more than a random hook up. It’s more than a fling or unresolved feelings. Know that you own every part of me.” I admit it so freely that I worry my declaration will be the one thing that causes her to change her mind. But with her past, honesty is the only path I will take. No matter what it costs me.