The Reluctant (16 page)

And oh God, did it taste
good.

Will

There is a way to cure our disease.
And rest assured, I will tell you one day, but not now. Luka told
me that the Lycanthrope have that choice. For now, we are together.
I have waited for you a long time, and having you here brings me
peace. I always believed that being an animal was easier than being
human. I can concentrate on hunger and my body’s demands rather
than the tousled complexities of the human mind and heart. But with
you, I have found comfort. It is enough that you are here, finally,
to give meaning to my life. I am no longer empty. I love you,
Emily. Know this before you listen to the remaining monologues.
Listen and learn with the faith that I will never hurt you
purposely. I will protect you from those who would harm you. One
day, you will be the mother of my children, and they will have a
choice. Lycanthrope or human. They will not be tormented by the
Lycanti for holding onto the human in themselves, as I am, as you
do, or dominated by a Clan they know nothing about. The Clan will
hate you for your humanity, too. Don’t let their arrogance deceive
you. Likewise, do not let my words scare you.

I know you love Luka. But I also know
that you are loyal to me. I can deal with both because you make me
happy and you make Luka happy. It’s hard for me to begrudge him
your friendship. Our own friendship will heal one day, and I will
not stop you from seeing him if that is what you desire. He has
been hurt enough in this life; I cannot add to it without a heavy
conscience.

I just want you to know the truth.
I’ve only ever wanted you to know the truth.

And the reality is, I would die for
you, Emily. Truly.

Emily

Somehow I found myself at Luka’s,
cleaned of blood and remarkably composed except for the scalding
waves of need that escaped me. He met me even further away than
before, almost halfway to Will’s house as the crow flies through
the woods. I wondered if he ever stayed home anymore, or was he
just that miserable? He had been hunting Lycanti as a wolf. His
naked form in front of me after his Change brought back the heat
for him and the hate for Brooke.

He did not say hello, just stared at
me with wary eyes.

The words forced themselves up
immediately. “Brooke killed Shasta.”

Every movement in his body ceased,
even his breathing, as he processed my words. He began breathing
again and his focus on me was dizzying.

“I smell Will’s blood on
you.”

“We had a fight,” I improvised. He
knew that Lycanti fights could get vicious since we healed quickly
and could not control our tempers. He would accept my lie. “That’s
not why I’m here though,” I added.

“I don’t believe you about Brooke.”
His face turned to stone. “She hunts humans, but I was with Shasta
when she died. It was my fault, no one else’s.”

Leave it to a man to believe me when I
lied and refuse to accept my words when I spoke the
truth!

“The man who Changed me admitted that
your father didn’t want a Lycanti in your family. He gave Brooke a
knife with something on it to kill Shasta quickly and before you
could complete the act.”

He looked as if he had swallowed acid.
“My father loved Shasta. He loves me. He would never do that. Grow
up, Emily.”

“I’m not lying,” I shouted. I leaned
in, intending to slap him for his words

He caught my hand and brought me face
to face with him. Pressed against him inch for inch, his naked body
against my clothed one, no matter how angry I had been I now wanted
him more than ever.

“I cannot think straight with you so
close to me,” he said lowly. “But I know what I saw in regard to
Shasta.”

My body became hot at his touch, but I
tried to keep my words steady. “I would not lie to you about this,
Luka. You deserve to be happy. Brooke will not make you happy. You
already told me that she doesn’t love you. Shasta loved you, and
you know that I do, too.”

His face fell as he crushed me to his
chest. I breathed him in, rubbing my hands down to the small of his
back and running my nails over his naked skin. He kissed my neck
and my face, anything but my lips. He knew that it would be over
then.

I brushed his shoulder blades with my
lips and teased him with the tip of my tongue, running it up his
neck over his ear and making him shiver with pleasure.

“I love you more than life,” Luka said
unsteadily. “But I am Bonded to Brooke now. You and I cannot be
together. The Bond is forever.”

I ignored his words and bit down into
his shoulder. Hard. A tremble went through his body as he breathed
in my scent. His body gave way to mine, surrendering the battle
against me. His words rushed back to me: If I am near during your
time again, Will and I would fight to the death for the right to
mate you.

But Will was not here, and Luka would
not have to fight for the right to my body. I would willingly give
him whatever he wanted, even a child if it meant he would leave
Brooke. Right now all I wanted was his lean body against mine,
those blue eyes melting me with their intensity. His hands already
explored my body, following the curves of my hips and thighs and
grabbing at my breasts. Our tongues met again and again as if
fighting within our mouths, firing the need for my fingers to slip
down to manhood and stroke him.

He caught my hands with his. “I can’t
do this, Emily.”

I tugged his hands to their rightful
position around my waist and slipped mine back down. “You can. I
know you want to.”

“No,” he said, trying to pull
away.

I kissed him again, putting all of my
sweetness and rapture I possessed for both him and Will into it,
and this time he did not struggle against me. And then I knew that
he was mine. He would not say no to me. Ever.

I ran. I didn’t know what else to do.
My protector was gone, and those who had wanted Will as I had had
him would not take kindly to my disposal of him. The fear Changed
me; the hangover of Luka’s loving potent in my skin. I ran from
that house, that scene of blood and lust, the weakest point of me
exposed. Now I ran for survival. The wind shifted around my body,
ruffling the tawny tips of my fur and cooling my body.

I mourn him deeply though it was me
that did it.

The blood and the tears I experienced
with him, because of him, for him, live in my veins, breathing fire
into my cavities and bringing home the realization that I will
never be a victim of the Clan again.

There’s a part of me that wishes this
would have ended differently. Like when I watched Romeo and Juliet
with Will, my sensitive English minor Will, I wanted them to both
live at the end of the tomb scene so badly. Will had laughed at me
then, saying Shakespeare had to have some way to make his viewers
appreciate what they could potentially lose. But no matter how many
times I sit through it, Shakespeare’s version just doesn’t ring
true with the Disney-flavored world that raised me.

Walt Disney would not have approved to
the end of my story. But it’s more complex than even the things I
have told you—especially in the Lycanti world that has swallowed
me. I can only convey so much through my own limited experience. In
their world, our world, Will owned me, body and soul. By the laws
of our world, his clan could chase and kill me simply because we
defied them with my Change, albeit not willfully, or because I
killed one of their sons. Maria had tried to have me metaphorically
killed once and all she did was make me stronger. I dare the bitch
to try it again.

To those other Lycanti or Lycanthrope
that might think to hunt me—even you, Luka, for I know that you are
the one they will send after me—be warned:

I am not your prey. I will never be
part of your clan. And this is reality, not a Shakespearean
play.

You should know, however, that I am a
damn good hunter thanks to Will. I got tired of being Juliet. There
are too many things that can go wrong when you allow yourself to be
the victim.

One more thing: I cannot seem to sate
this appetite for blood and flesh. So come for me if you feel you
have to or if you think you can.

Especially you, Luka. Come for me and
feel my wrath. I dare you.

The End

A Note from the
Author

I found the audio files on a jump
drive beside Will’s laptop. The police released them to me after
dismissing them as an elaborate fantasy between the couple and of
no forensic value. The files are not dated, nor do I believe that
I’ve included them in order. Rather, I tried to align events with
my perception of space and time that occurred between Emily and
Will. Every word in this story that belongs to Will comes from the
past, and I gave the tapes to Emily after she provided me with her
account. I could never get her to reveal if she knew that they
existed, and I did not want to influence her recollection by
pressing for the information. Maybe Will’s “lessons” were in vain,
but perhaps he meant to give them to her once she was Changed. As
the reader may perceive, that never happened and Emily never
mentioned it.

Emily was never charged since the
police never found her. In fact, she found me as I left the house
and followed me home, curious to know what I had taken. I bribed
her with the tapes, not knowing how dangerous she is. She obliged
my curiosity rather than forcibly taking the drive, which by the
end of her tale, I knew her very capable of doing. I did not make
copies of the tapes, just created these transcripts, so Will’s
voice is now possibly lost forever.

To any Lycanti or Lycanthrope who may
read this, please know that I am only a scribe of events past and
present. As one of the reporters who showed up for what I thought
would be a brief and monotonous report on a local boy, I left with
more of a story than I had ever hoped to hear. To this day, I have
no idea why Emily sat at my home for long hours as she told her
story. My question, “What happened?”, seems a shallow precursor to
this girl’s recount.

I hold no personal opinion on the
happenings that occurred between the two, nor do I presently know
where Emily resides.

For all you “normal” readers, you
probably do not believe this, discounting my compilation as just
another werewolf tale meant to generate income for a lowly reporter
who dreams of being a novelist. Accept whatever parts as truth you
must, but you should realize that an entire world exists with or
without your approval or belief. And if I were you, I would not
seek it out. Some things are best left buried.

And Emily, to answer the question you
asked me to address within these pages: No, I don’t believe that I
would choose that course of action, but I wish you the best no
matter what you decide. Maybe I can now count myself as a part of
your story, which I thank you for, however small that part may be.
And remember Emily: “A coward dies a thousand times before his
death. The valiant never taste of death but once.”

Now that’s Shakespeare and words to
live by. I think Will would have wanted you to know
that.

Perhaps they will help you make your
decision.

God bless and good luck. Thank you for
everything.

If you enjoyed this novel,
please check out the next two novels in the Lycanti series:
The Willing
and
The Betrayed
. Thank you
for reading and enjoy the night.