The Reluctant Bride (Montana Born Brides) (4 page)

Was there any way?

“I am—”

“
Sorry. I know. Get out of this wind before you catch a cold.”

“
No.”

“
No? Woman, you are testing my temper.”

She had to laugh.
“Good. I’d rather have a big-ass fight about this, than have you acting all polite to me. I know what I did was wrong and cowardly and, to be honest, that’s why I stayed silent for so long.”

“
Why is that?” he asked, as he stood next to the open trunk.

“
I was embarrassed I’d run away, and wasn’t sure you’d want me back until I could figure out if I should have stayed.

“
Because you aren’t a coward. You face your fears and own them. And so, on top of not wanting to be a burden on you, I realized that I’m not as brave as you are. And that just made it so much harder for me to reach out to you.”

“
Being brave doesn’t mean you’re not afraid, Risa. It means you face whatever scares you and figure out how to cope with it,” he said.

She knew that.
She’d heard words to that effect before, but she’d never been able to figure out how to put them into action. Monty seemed to have everything in life sorted out and, as her parents had died and her life felt like it was falling apart, she’d known marrying him would be another form of running away. Because when she was with Monty she didn’t have to cope with anything. And that was the most cowardly thing of all.

Monty changed the tire and then put the flat back in her trunk, slamming it closed before walking back to his truck. Ignoring Risa wasn’t easy. He might not have any idea how to deal with her, but he wanted her. Still. He was at war with himself. And had been since the moment she’d run.

She made him want to settle down.
She was that kind of girl. She could kiss like nobody’s business, but she wasn’t into honky tonks and partying. From the first moment he’d seen her at Tony’s wedding, he’d been unable to look away from her and tonight, with the moon struggling through the clouds and silhouetted by the low beams from his pickup truck, it was no different.

She was fairytale-beautiful, with her thick dark hair and heart-shaped face.
Her eyes were big and brown and he always got a little lost when he looked into them. She had an ethereal quality that made him want to ride to her rescue. The very thing she didn’t want from him. A smart man would walk away. Hell, if he had any kind of brain at all, he’d get in his truck and drive until Montana and this woman were faint memories.

Commitment wasn
’t easy, and now he wished he had a good example to draw from. But all he had was his parents’ fractured marriage and his own short-term girlfriends of the past.

But that wasn
’t going to happen.

He hadn
’t been able to forget her even in Now Zad, and that place had offered plenty of life-threatening situations that had demanded his full attention. But even when Lane had lost both of his lower legs, Monty had felt like there had to be a reason he was spared. That he had to make his life count now. Have kids and a family, and that all started with a wife. He still clung to a future with Risa. A future he believed would soothe the restlessness inside of him and maybe finally give him the home he craved.

Something that now seemed more like a fairytale than real life.

“Thanks,” she called to him.

She stood there and he could tell she was unsure of what to do next.
Hell, he was too. And, to be honest, that wasn’t like him. He was confident and he took what he wanted.

But, at this point, he wasn
’t exactly sure if he wanted Risa or if he was trying to salvage his pride. Everyone in his unit knew he’d gotten engaged to the pretty florist in Vegas. They all knew he had been planning to marry her when she disappeared.

“
No problem.”

He walked back over to her.
Stared down into her confused face and wondered when the hell life was going to get easy. But since that hot afternoon in Now Zad nothing had been the same.

“
Damn it, woman.”

“
I didn’t mean to make this worse,” she said.

Of course she didn
’t. But in no way did that make any part of this situation more bearable for either of them. He’d wanted to find her. Figure out why she’d run and get her back. That was it. Pretty simple mission objective.

But he didn
’t want to be played for a fool, like his father had been.

“
What am I going to do with you?” he asked.

She shivered in the raw wind that blew down from the mountains and he reached out to pull her coat collar closer around her neck.

He still had no idea if the wedding was on or off. He wanted it to still go ahead. But as he looked down into those big chocolate-colored eyes of hers, he knew he had no idea what she wanted.

She rubbed her hand up and down his arm and then pulled it back and tucked it into the pocket of her coat.
“I’m looking for myself. Trying to figure out me, before I commit my life to yours and screw us both.”

A part of him, the unemotional staff sergeant who was used to making the tough decisions and the hard calls, got that.
But he wasn’t a staff sergeant at the moment. Right now, he was just a lonely cowboy who’d had to chase his girl all over the West. And he still didn’t know if she was going to be his bride.

“
What can I do?”

“
Now that you are here, I think we should spend a little time getting to know each other. I was a different girl in Vegas,” she said.

Hell. Was it simply pride that made him want her back?
If it was, then getting to know her would give him the answer. After all, if he was simply saving face, then he should fall out of…Why dither, even with himself? He loved her. He wanted to pretend he didn’t anymore, but she’d been the one thing to keep him sane and to keep him fighting in Now Zad—and seeing her again tonight hadn’t changed it.

If anything, it had made him realize that he did still care.
Too much. He didn’t want there to be anyone else in the world who mattered to him as much as she did.

“
Fine.”

“
You don’t have to sound so enthusiastic about it.”

He stared down at her, feeling that mix of desire and anger and a bunch of emotions he wanted to pretend he didn
’t have. The thin grasp he had on his temper frayed.

He put his hands on her shoulders and drew her closer to him.
Her breath caught; he heard it catch in her throat and her hand came up to his chest. Resting there, where he’d opened the collar of his coat as he’d changed the tire. Her hands were small.

His instinct was to protect her.
Even from himself, but she didn’t want that. She’d been plain that he didn’t need to rescue her.

So that just left his needs and, right now, he wanted the kiss he should have been able to claim when he
’d returned to Pendleton after leaving the desert and watching his best friend fall.

He wrapped one arm around her waist and lifted her off her feet, lowered his mouth and took the kiss that was both his reward and his revenge.

Stupid.

She wasn
’t sure about herself, but Monty; God knew she wished she had his confidence. There was a marked difference in their reactions to tragedy. He wanted to cram in as much life as he could…she wanted to hide and protect those she cared about. His mouth moved over hers with the confidence and surety that she’d ever only experienced with him, and she knew that she wasn’t going to pull back and walk away. Instead, she slid her hand up his chest and curled her fingers around his warm neck, burrowing between the warm downy collar and the man.

He was here because he wanted to be her man.

Right now, it felt like he was, as his mouth moved over hers and sent shivers of desire coursing through her body. It had been a long seven months apart. She parted her lips and his tongue slipped inside her mouth and she sighed.

He tasted just like she remembered.
It was silly when she tried to define Monty, but there was something spicy in his kisses and yet, at the same time, something that soothed the restlessness inside of her. When he wrapped his arms around her, she felt like she’d found the home she’d always wanted.

A safe place to land. But she wasn
’t sure she believed in home any more.

She
’d always been a rambler. And even this kiss wasn’t going to be enough to help her put all of her doubts and fears aside. His tongue rubbed over hers, as his hands slipped lower to cup her buttocks and she stopped thinking.

Stopped trying to analyze this and have it all make sense.

Kisses weren’t supposed make sense, were they? They were supposed to transport lovers to someplace magical and distant.

And for her, his kisses did.

His hands anchored her to the real world, and his mouth tempted and teased her to follow him. To leave behind her worries on this dark deserted highway and focus on the one thing that was real: Monty.

He plunged his tongue deeper into her mouth, and she felt the first stirrings of desire shivering through her nerves and pooling in the center of her body.
She tunneled her fingers through the silky hair at the back of his neck, twisting it to make him move his head the way she wanted.

He did.
Increasing the pressure on her and deepening the kiss until she was aware only of Monty and his mouth, his arm around her hips, which held her to him, and his hand which roamed up and down her back. His touch was warm, even through the thickness of her coat.

She pulled her head back and, from her angle, could look down on his half-closed eyes.
This was the face she’d missed. The expression that had haunted her dreams. He was the man she thought she wanted to marry. The man whom she’d taken a leap of faith with and said yes to.

But then he opened his eyes and slowly let her slide down his body, before he stepped back, spreading his arms out to his sides.
He rubbed one hand over his jaw and his mouth and turned his back to her.

She had no idea what he was thinking, but could venture a guess that it wasn
’t very nice.

Why should it be?

In his eyes, she was playing a game. And she had no way of really making him see that her being lost and confused was just as disheartening from her point of view.

“
Um…”

“
What?” He glanced back over his shoulder.

Yeah, what?
Time to take a break. Run again…

“
Thanks for changing my tire.”

“
You’re welcome.”

He didn
’t turn to face her or say another word. She should let it go or stay quiet and make him talk, but she couldn’t.

“
So you are going to the Barn Dance?”

“
I am.”

“
I am too. You know I’m one of the vendors in the Great Wedding Giveaway.”