The Religion War (19 page)

It wasn't the wisdom of the question that made it so powerful; philosophers had posed better questions for aeons. It was the packaging—the marketing, if you will—the repeatability and simplicity, the timing, the Zeitgeist, and in the end, the fact that everyone eventually heard it from someone whose opinion they trusted.The question was short, provocative, and cast in the language of international commerce that almost everyone understood— English. Most important, and generally overlooked by historians: It rhymed and it was funny. Once you heard it, you could never forget it. It looped in the brain, gaining the weight and feel of truth with each repetition. Human brains have a limited capacity for logic and evidence. Throughout time, repetition and frequency were how people decided what was most true.The question "If God is so smart, why do you fart?" played over and over in the minds of billions of people, especially the children who repeated it ad nauseam on the playgrounds and in schools. It appeared on bumper stickers, shirts, greeting cards, and products of all kinds.

Yet, despite the new disdain of superstition, almost no one argued the existence of God, only the details. Some said God was Mackey's program. Others said it was the network, or the way the network connected the intelligence of all humanity, forming a superconsciousness. The Avatar knew, and soon the young deliv-eryman would know: God is everything, all the matter and empty space that now exists, or ever will exist. He expresses his preference in the invisible workings of gravity, probability, and ideas. God is that which is unstoppable, permanent, all-powerful, and by its own standards perfect. God was in no hurry. He was reforming. He didn't think in the way that humans do, as that is unnecessary for an entity whose preferences are identical to reality. Humans think in order to survive and entertain themselves. God has no need for a tool that is useful only to the frail and unsatisfied.

Stacey never knew that she was the Prime Influencer, the reboot button for the universe. When the Avatar recovered from his heart transplant and pieced together what had happened, he thought it would be better if she never knew her role. For years, Stacey insisted to friends that she had invented the saying "If God is so smart, why do you fart?" No one believed her. In time she came to think that she must have first heard it someplace and forgotten. She also never knew that as the Prime Influencer she caused pink to become the most common hair color for women, or that she was the reason virtually every home now had a pet chicken. And she certainly had no idea that she selected the last seven American presidents. She thought perhaps she had a knack for guessing who would win, never suspecting that she caused the outcome.

The Avatar finally understood why the patterns he had felt outside the GIC building were confused. There had been two patterns intersecting on that street. He needed both Mackey and Stacey to change the world. It seemed obvious now.

The young man still had much to learn. He had many questions, and that was okay, because he would be there all night, and longer. The Avatar would talk until nothing was left to say, no question unanswered, no mystery unsolved.The young man didn't yet realize that he was quitting his job as a package deliveryman. Money wouldn't be a problem, as he would soon inherit the biggest personal fortune in the world. But he would live alone, preparing himselffor the day when evil would rise again.

1. If you suspected you were deluded, how could you find out for sure?
2. Are humans the product of a skilled or an unskilled designer?
3. Would an omnipotent being need to
think
in the way that people understand it? Or is thinking unnecessary for a timeless, indestructible being whose preferences are the same as reality?
4. Why would God be so unclear about what book or books he authored?
5. Is consciousness anything more than a continual process of imagining, acting, observing the impact of the action, and imagining again with new information?
6. The dictionary defines "faith" as belief without evidence. It defines "stupidity" as unreasoned thinking. Is belief without evidence a form of unreasoned thinking?
7. Can the impact of your actions rippling into the future be considered an immortal soul?
8. Could atheists and believers accept the same definition of God?