The Regal Rules for Girls (54 page)

I
have no doubt that people will continue to rant on and on about how girls like you and me should get our Anglophile heads out of the clouds and start living in “the real world.” But I honestly think “the real world” is just a phrase that’s batted around to give credibility to the miserable lives most people have created for themselves.

At the end of the day, it’s pretty simple: You can have the English life that you want
or
you can have everyone else’s reasons for not having it…

I’m sure everyone you encounter thinks your London-bound plan is ludicrous. I’m sure they think it’s expensive, unnecessary, and
downright silly—and I’m sure they have no problem telling you so. But one way that dreams can become suppressed is when we are made to feel as if we are the only ones in the world crazy enough to even have dreams. But you know what? Those grumpy people who refuse to support you in manifesting your dreams of English happiness are doing nothing but delaying their own unique dreams from coming true.

I’m sure some of the naysayers in your life are absolutely right—you
do
have the potential to do all sorts of
other
amazing things that don’t involve crossing an ocean and settling down in a foreign country. But you don’t have to do those things just because they’re expected of you, or because others tell you that you should do them, or because you’d be incredibly good at them. All that following your head instead of your heart nonsense is highly overrated. Despite all your attempts to ignore it or to pretend that you can’t hear what the little voice inside your heart is saying, you’ll never be able to keep it quiet. It will always be there, forever repeating to you that England is where you must go. You owe it to yourself to listen.

Looking back, I had no idea what I was doing when I moved to London—but even so, I made sure to do it as hard as I possibly could. So my advice to you is this: Know what you want, know that you deserve it, and believe that you can get it. (And always remember that getting there isn’t half the fun—sometimes it’s
all
the fun!)

Try to ignore what everyone else is saying and keep a death grip on your dream. Don’t give up gracefully or leave England at the very first obstacle—stand your ground. Decide to abandon your dream only if you are dragged away from it kicking and screaming. And while some people will say how dare you go after your dream—rest assured that others will silently be thanking you for showing them how.

“But you’re
American
,” some people tell me pointedly (almost as if I didn’t know). “Don’t you think you belong in your own country?”

I’ve never understood this question. I mean, let’s be honest: Where would America be today if two hundred years ago, everyone in the world had stayed in their own countries?

Living in another country does not make you anti-American, nor does it make you unpatriotic. Living in another country actually means that you have
embraced
the American dream to the fullest! You have taken advantage of the freedom and opportunity at your fingertips and set out to do what you always dreamed of. No matter where you came from, who your family is, or how much money you may or may not have—you
knew
that if you worked hard and had faith in yourself you could achieve your heart’s desire. That unwavering desire just happens to be in England. But the path that put you there?
That
is the American dream in its purest form.

I am a staunch royalist, a proud Anglophile, and this winter will acquire the UK passport I’ve longed for my whole life. However, not for a single second have I forgotten than none of this would be possible without the very American belief that we can do anything we set our minds to.

(Luckily, both America and the UK allow dual citizenship.)

Despite all the airs and graces, deep down, Brits are quite vulnerable (which is perhaps why they rely so much on giant hats to protect them). While expats should always make an effort to fit into their adopted country (partly out of respect and partly for self-preservation), keep in mind that there are so many complicated and nuanced layers to English society and culture that “being English” is a club that quite often not even the English can get into!

I am still noticeably American—I speak more softly than most of my countrymen, and I use UK terms instead of US ones, but my accent is pure Western Colorado. I may be wearing English tweed and Scottish cashmere, but my grooming and dental habits are 100 percent American. My knowledge of etiquette and table manners is entirely English, but my cheery enthusiasm and starry-eyed optimism were clearly born in the USA.

So even if you’re surrounded by British people who have been inducted since birth in the rituals of their world, who grew up knowing and caring about things like hereditary titles and family crests, what really matters is your belief that you are perfectly entitled to stand among them. England is indeed a fairy-tale kingdom, but you must know that it is one you are worthy of and one that you deserve to enjoy. Above all, you must have confidence and believe in yourself. Always remember that if you carry yourself with dignity and grace, then you have every right to move in regal circles.

And move in them you will.

R
EQUIRED (AS OPPOSED TO RECOMMENDED)
R
EADING:

Someday My Prince Will Come: True Adventures of a Wannabe Princess
by Jerramy Fine

Most young girls dream of becoming a princess, but unlike most girls, Jerramy Fine (yep—that’s me!) never grew out of it. At age six, she announces she is going to meet and marry the Queen of England’s grandson, and even as she gets older, not once does she change her mind! But growing up with hippie parents in the middle of a Colorado farm town makes finding her prince a bigger challenge than Jerramy ever bargained for. How can she prepare to lead a royal life when she’s surrounded by nothing but tofu and tractors?

Jerramy spends her lonely childhood writing love letters to Buckingham Palace, and when her sense of destiny finally brings her to London, she dives headfirst into a whirlwind of society parties in search of her royal soul mate. She drinks way too many martinis and kisses far too many Hugh Grant look-alikes, but life in England is not the Disney fairy tale she hoped it would be. Her flatmates are lunatics, London is expensive, and British boys (despite their cute accents) are infuriating. Sure, she’s rubbing shoulders with Princess Anne, Earl Spencer, and the Duchess of York—but will she ever meet her prince?

Someday My Prince
Will Come
is a hilarious
true
story about following your heart and having the courage to pursue your childhood dream no matter how impossible it seems.

(And I promise you this: if
I
could do it—you can too.)

To Olivia Smales, Olivia Vandyk, Jane Finette, Elizabeth Kinder, Julie Collins-Clark, and (my protégée) Courtney Fleming—not only for your stellar proofreading, but for your friendship, and in many cases, anecdotal inspiration. I owe you a Mahiki treasure chest.

To my agent, Laura Langlie, and my editor, Kate Seaver—for not only “getting” my drastic case of Anglophilia, but championing it.

To my long-suffering English husband—for indulging my insatiable obsession with his country and its customs, and for teaching me that some US-UK relationships are more special than I ever imagined.

To my long-suffering American parents—who never once discouraged me from spreading my wings, fleeing the nest, and flying alone across the sun.

[Itzy]

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