The Redemption (Charlotte Bloom Book 2) (14 page)

“Yes.” He looked at me sadly now. “You have no idea how torturous those three months were for me. I told you—I thought you’d gone back to Harry. Why do you sound so surprised?”

“It’s just... Mary said something to me the other night, in Wales.”

“What did she say?” he whispered.

Was I really going to ask if he had been planning on proposing? No. I couldn’t ask. He told me. He’d come to say goodbye. Forget the lilies. It was probably just a parting gesture.

“It’s not important.”

“Charlotte—”

“No. It’s nothing. She was wrong.”

He eyed me now, inches from my face. He knew I was lying. But I couldn’t face the embarrassment of telling him the truth if she was wrong.

“I’m sorry that we didn’t finish our book today,” he whispered in my ear.

“It’s OK. Tomorrow?”

“Yes, love. Tomorrow.”

I curled up inside his arms, and Alec switched the T.V. off before falling asleep beside me.

***

“Charlotte, wake up. It’s snowing.”

I slowly opened my eyes, shielding my eyes as Alec pulled the curtains open.

Bright. So bright.

I threw the covers off, grabbed a robe, and went over to where Alec was standing. I watched the steady stream of snow falling, covering the grounds and the house. My rental car was a shapeless form in the snow. I giggled.

“Snow!”

“Let’s go eat, and then we can take a drive. There’s somewhere that I want to take you.”

“OK.”

He left, shutting the door behind him. I curled up in the armchair and watched the snow fall for a few more minutes before showering and dressing. I quickly dried my hair, swiped on some mascara and blush, and pulled on a pair of skinny jeans, a grey sweater, and tan combat boots. I grabbed my wool beanie and parka and headed downstairs. I saw Ennis cooking in the kitchen, and Alec sat at his regular spot at the breakfast bar.

“Good morning, Charlotte! Coffee?”

“I’ll get it,” moving quickly so that I could serve myself. “You’ve done enough, Ennis.”

She smiled. I poured myself a large cup of coffee and took a seat next to Alec.

“What would you like in your omelet?”

“Whatever Alec’s having is fine,” I said shyly, glancing at him.

He was in a brooding mood today. He smiled weakly and looked down, playing with his hands. Was he nervous?

“Good. It’ll be ready in a minute.”

“Thank you, Ennis,” I said, giving her a large smile. I leaned in closer to Alec. “You OK?”

“Yeah. Got a lot on my mind.”

“Oh.”
Like what?
“Will I need more layers for our unknown adventure today?” I asked lightheartedly, gesturing to my outfit.

He answered without looking.

“No. We’re taking a car today.”

I nodded, surveying him. Something was bothering him.

“Here are your omelets,” Ennis said, placing plates in front of us.

“Thanks, mum,” Alec said glumly. He began to pick at his food.

“Thank you again, Ennis,” I said as she turned to walk out of the room, leaving us alone. Did she
ever
eat?

I didn’t say anything else as I devoured my meal, sipping my rich coffee between bites and munching on the fruit salad Ennis had placed in a bowl between us. Alec laid down his fork and I noticed he’d barely eaten, which was very unlike him. He cleaned up the breakfast dishes and placed them in the dishwasher without talking. I stood up and threw my jacket on.

“Do you have the book?”

“We’re not reading today, Charlotte.”

Fuck.
Why did he sound so morose? I just nodded.

He grabbed his jacket and led me outside. The snow had stopped falling, but it was still frigid. He guided me to a nondescript black Mercedes SUV, opening the passenger door and helping me in before going around to the driver’s side.

He started to drive and switched on the music—I suspected it was coming from an iPod or something equally hi-tech. It was foreign music, not English. It was beautiful.

“What is this?”

“Sigur Rós. They’re Icelandic.”

“It’s wonderful.”

I looked over at him and he was gripping the wheel tightly, concentrating intently on driving. His brow was furrowed. I closed my eyes as we wove down narrow roads and then he stopped, parking in front of a large, iron gate.

“Where are we?”

Alec stayed silent as he punched a number into the keypad. The gate wrenched itself open slowly, creaking loudly. As Alec began to pull forward, I realized exactly where we were, and I placed my hand on Alec’s thigh as he parked along the edge of a curb.

“Oh Alec, why didn’t you say?”

Headstones lined the hilly grass in neat, patterned grids. Clouds had formed in the sky, which created an eerie, gloomy vibe. The cemetery was enormous. Closer to us were newer headstones. You could tell. They hadn’t yet oxidized with time, and the etching was still legible. Further away, the really old stones stood, daunting and towering. A few old maple trees stood over those lucky enough to rest under their constant shade.

Alec turned the ignition off and looked forward, determined.

“I haven’t ever been here,” he explained, looking nervous.

“Thank you for taking me,” I whispered, reaching for his hand. Luckily, he let me hold it. I knew how hard this was for him.

“I wish you could’ve met him,” he said, softly this time.

“Me too.”

He looked over at me and his handsome face was muddled with sorrow. I squeezed his hand twice. He squeezed it twice in return, giving me a small, forced smile. He ran his other hand through his dark hair, sighing heavily.

“Let’s go,” he said, straightening up and getting out of the car. He opened my door. It had started to snow again. I gripped his hand tightly as we walked up to the directory, looking for Aedan Baxter’s plot. When we found it, I was happy to see that his plot was located underneath one of the maple trees. We walked slowly, both in trepidation and also because the cobblestone path was iced over.

I kept looking up at Alec. His expression remained indifferent. He was hiding his emotions well. I gripped his hand harder. I knew that him taking me here was significant in some way that wasn’t apparent to me yet, and I was eternally grateful to him for allowing me to accompany him. As we walked to the section where Aedan’s grave supposedly lay, I spotted a large headstone with the name “Baxter” engraved on it—this was it. We were here. I tugged on Alec’s hand and pointed to the edifice. He stopped suddenly, looking at the large stone as if he’d seen a ghost.

We slowly walked to Aedan’s grave hand in hand, and suddenly Alec held back, tugging me into him, pulling me into a tight hug. He was breathing laboriously now and I realized with a start that Alec was
crying.
He was clutching me tightly so I couldn’t see his face, but I was pretty sure he was crying. That thought slayed me. I started to cry also, rocking back and forth gently as Alec gripped me tighter and tighter.

So this was what he’d been thinking about earlier when he was quiet. He’d wanted to come see his father’s grave, and he’d taken me with him. He trusted me enough to bring me here. He was letting me in completely. I silently thanked whatever god or being was out there for bringing me this man—this beautiful man—and making him love me so completely. Because that was obviously what this was: pure, unadulterated love. I was so lucky that this unequivocally
good
man loved me.

I hugged him tighter, gripping the material at the back of his sweater. Snowflakes fell all around us. If it hadn’t been for the melancholy circumstances, this would’ve been romantic as hell. I felt like I was in some sort of medieval winter wonderland. We rocked back and forth for a few minutes. Alec’s grief radiated through me, making me feel what he was feeling, and making me feel awful for not being able to
do
something. His feelings swept through every muscle and fiber of my being, ricocheting off of Alec and swallowing me. I silently willed his grief to enter me completely—to leave him be—to take me instead.

Finally, he stood back and wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands. Clearing his throat, he walked over to the headstone and began to talk. I stayed back, unable to hear what he was saying. I knew he needed this time alone. I watched as he spoke animatedly—about what, I had no idea. Soon, he walked back towards me. I smiled weakly. He looked better already.
Thank god.
Unhappy Alec was the most awful thing I’d ever witnessed.

He put his arm around my shoulder and led me back to the car. He was still being really quiet. I didn’t want to intrude into his thoughts so I stayed silent, hoping he would be the one to talk first. He pulled my door open and helped me inside. When he got in, he just sat there, looking out at the snow. My feet were cold, and I rubbed my hands together.

“Let me get the heater on. Seat warmer?”

I smiled.

“Sure. Thank you.”

“Thank my mum. She insists on buying cars with seat warmers.”

“No, Alec. I meant thank you for this.” I gestured to the cemetery.

He stayed silent and looked down at the dashboard. Finally, he turned and looked at me.

“Life is fucking short, you know? That could’ve been my grave. Before I met you, I was convinced it
should’ve
been my grave. That’s why I’ve never gone to visit. It was still too raw. But you being here… it means a lot. I don’t know if I’d have ever been able to come here if it weren’t for you.”

“It means a lot to me, too. I just want you to know that you have changed my life, Alec Baxter. I’m so glad you’re still around. You gave me hope when I thought everything had been lost. Life
is
short. That’s why I’m here.”

He looked at me earnestly, in admiration. My heart swelled. I loved this man.

“Yeah… about that. You asked me why I came to Los Angeles. Why
did you come to Ireland?”

“Honestly?”

He cocked his head playfully, willing me to continue.

“Lainey convinced me.”

He stared at me blankly, and then suddenly his eyes were alight with recognition.

“Please tell me you did not consult a fucking psychic about our relationship, Charlotte,” he growled, crossing his arms in exasperation.

“No, I ran into her. I didn’t consult her. That night. The night you came to L.A. I was wandering the street looking for you like a crazy woman, and Amara came to my rescue. We got donuts at this shop down the street, and Lainey was there.”

“What did she say? How exactly did she convince you to come to Ireland?”

“She said that you were my soulmate,” I said meekly, looking away so that I couldn't see his expression. I didn't
want
to see his expression.
I can’t believe I just admitted that.
“And she said I would go after you. So I did.”

“I see.” He kept his face forward, and I couldn’t tell if he was pissed, irritated, amused, or sad. “So if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be here?” He looked pained now.

“No. Not at all. It might’ve taken me a couple of days, but I would’ve ended up here. I’m sure of it now.”

“Well then, I guess I’ll have to thank this Lainey woman one day, won’t I?”

“It wasn’t her. I mean, technically, it
was
her that brought us together, but I think it was more than that.”

“So you agree with Lainey? Do you think we’re soulmates?” He looked amused.

“Do you?”

“Don’t deflect the question, Charlotte. I asked you.”

I hesitated. I
knew
he was my soulmate, but did he think the same thing? It would be humiliating if he didn’t agree.

“Well, I’m not 100% sold on the whole soulmates thing, but if I were, I think you’d be a good candidate,” I explained, twiddling my fingers. I kept my gaze downcast, and waited for his response. Instead, he started the car and began to do a U-turn, heading out of the cemetery. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“I need a drink.”

Oh.

“Alright. I could go for a drink.”
Oh my god, did he not agree with me? Did I just completely embarrass myself?
I felt my cheeks flush. Maybe I was overanalyzing this. Yes, that had to be it.

“Charlotte, stop overthinking. I agree with you. I don’t really believe in the whole soulmates thing either, but if I do have one, it’s you.” He whispered the last part. It’s you.
It’s you.

My heart swelled. I couldn’t help but look over and smile at him.

We drove down a twisted road for a while. I dozed in the passenger seat. Alec turned onto a highway and we drove silently for over an hour. I relished the comforting,
just right
feel of being with Alec. For some reason, Alec driving was extremely reassuring. I never let myself fall asleep in moving cars—I was always afraid of getting into an accident and dying without realizing it. I didn’t know when I’d leave this world, but I wanted to be aware of it— to think any last thoughts, to say any last words. But I found myself dozing in the car with Alec. I couldn’t explain the feeling. It was comfort… it was home.