Authors: Fiona Palmer
He smiled, nodded and waved her straight through. No ID check, no waiting in line. Jaz felt like royalty.
She got out the small wallet with the message and held it tightly in her hand. She had already worked out how she would transfer it to Ryan. The club was pumping with loud music and Jaz found it hard to walk through the crowd in her shoes. But they did give her extra height and she could see Ryan by the edge of the dancing crowd looking stern. Her heart fluttered from all the adrenaline. She had made it back to him.
Ryan spotted her quickly and smiled. Was that relief she saw wash over his face? With her plan still fresh in her mind, she went straight up to Ryan and put her arms around him. ‘Hey, you,’ she said as her hands slipped into the back pockets of his jeans. She melted into his embrace.
‘Jaz, I’m on duty,’ he said but he didn’t let her go. His hands held her and she could feel him nuzzle near her ear. Maybe she wasn’t the only one relieved to have the pick up over. ‘Everything went okay?’ he asked, pulling back and putting air between them. His eyes went back to searching around the club.
Jaz felt giddy from his lingering touch. ‘Yep. How about you?’
‘Not much happening tonight.’
Jaz wondered if that meant the white suit guy hadn’t met with any new ‘clients’ or that the club had been quiet.
‘Have you got — ’ he began to ask.
‘No, you have,’ she said with a smirk. ‘Back pocket.’
He smiled as he realised. ‘Clever. Thanks.’ He didn’t bother searching his jeans. ‘You should probably head home now,’ he added.
‘I thought I might stay and dance up a storm. I didn’t even have my ID checked.’ She laughed and began to dance to the beat beside him, her hips swaying to the DJ’s song.
‘Jaz,’ he almost growled and grabbed her arm, pulling her close. His lips brushed against her ear. ‘You can not stay here dressed like that.’
She pulled away from him; his face was dark, unreadable.
‘Scared I might get propositioned,’ she teased. But he wasn’t laughing.
‘I still have to work and I can’t be keeping an eye out for you too. Please, go home where I know you’re safe. Please.’
‘Only on one condition.’
‘What’s that?’
Jaz leant in real close. ‘I need something to tell Anna.’ She let her words hang in the air as she pressed her hand to his chest. His muscles underneath tightened from her touch. She was feeling all-powerful in the killer heels and certainly not herself. Was she drunk on the adrenaline? Had the danger sent her loopy?
Jaz glanced up to see his reaction but couldn’t get past his lips. So perfect and smooth. She just had to taste them. Leaning in, she did just that.
Ryan’s hand came up behind her head, increasing the pressure of the kiss. Jaz felt herself melt into him as she grabbed at his shirt. It was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. The noise of the club disappeared and all she could feel was the heat of his kiss. Their mouths opened, searching for more. His tongue brushed against hers and she shivered in his arms. Jaz had never experienced anything like this before.
‘I’m sorry,’ Ryan said, pulling away abruptly leaving them both catching their breath. Ryan avoided her gaze as he searched around the room. ‘I really have to work, Jaz.’ Now he glanced at her, his eyes resting on her lips, which felt slightly swollen. ‘Go home, I’ll catch up with you later.’ He bent down but only to kiss the top of her head before disappearing into the crowd.
Jaz walked towards the exit but felt as if she was flying. Not even her aching feet worried her, or the pushing and shoving from the crowd. Some guys groped for her, begged her to dance but she swayed past them on her cloud.
Somehow she found a taxi and ended up back on her street without even realising time was passing. Paying the taxi driver she got out, putting her hand to her forehead. ‘Was any of that real?’ she asked herself. She touched her lips, remembered the taste of Ryan and shivered again, but it wasn’t cold outside. In a daze, she found her hidden jacket, took off her shoes and climbed up to Anna’s room.
Anna was sitting in bed reading and put her book down as she climbed in. ‘So, how did it go?’ she asked as Jaz climbed onto her bed.
Jaz smiled. She couldn’t find the words to tell Anna.
‘Oh, I can so tell you got kissed. Damn girl, look at your face.’ Anna flipped the doona cover back so Jaz could climb in. ‘Okay, spill. I want all the details.’ She all but threw her book from the bed in anticipation.
Jaz crawled under the sheet and leaned back against the pillows. Her mind kept replaying the kiss over and over as if proving to her it was real. ‘Anna, I just had the best night of my life.’
Mr Peel was talking through a problem on the board while Jaz doodled absent-mindedly on the corner of her page. Her phone vibrated on her lap, causing her to flinch out of her daydream state. The message was from Anna, it said three words.
Pax is back!
For the first time in four days Jaz cracked a smile.
She glanced at her page and saw the black inked ‘R’ she’d been doodling. With a sigh, she scrubbed it out with her pen until she couldn’t see it. R was for rubbish and ridiculous, not Ryan. Or so she tried to tell herself.
Since the night of their kiss, Ryan had been gone. He’d disappeared, was dead for all she knew! He wasn’t at The Ring on Friday, nor over the weekend, or Monday. Jaz didn’t want to admit how empty it seemed at The Ring without him, and if she admitted the truth she was worried about him. Had something happened at the club? Was the message a new mission? Did he meet with some bad guys? Or was he avoiding her because of the kiss?
But Pax was home, finally The Ring might feel less vacant. A little voice in her head also said that maybe today Ryan would be there too.
Jaz texted Anna back,
I wanna go now!
and got just one word back.
Wait.
She had one more class to sit through, Damn it.
‘Off with the fairies again, Jaz,’ laughed Minka from in front of her. Jaz smiled back sweetly.
‘I’m just imagining Taylor wearing his sexy tie that matches my dress for the ball. So who are you going with, Minka?’
Minka swung around to face the front but Jaz caught the fall in her face. Helen, one of Minka’s friends who was sitting beside her turned to Jaz. ‘She’s going with a uni guy, he plays football for the Dockers.’
Helen pulled a ‘so there’ face and shifted back in her chair.
Like I care, thought Jaz. But trust Minka to find a replacement that she thought was better.
*
‘Jaz can’t we slow…down…please,’ said Anna breathlessly.
‘Oh alright, but I’m already carrying your bag too. You need to get more exercise.’
Anna slowed to a walk and put her hands on her hips. ‘The only exercise I want is with my tongue at the ball. I, unlike some people I know, haven’t even had a kiss yet.’
Jaz smiled. ‘Don’t worry you’re not missing much. Wait till it’s with someone you really like, then it’s ten times better.’ Jaz had had a few boyfriends over the years, nothing major. They were just keen so she went along with them but really, she’d still always wanted Taylor. She figured kissing him would be worth the wait. Would it be like kissing Ryan? Like fireworks and instant ecstasy?
‘Come on Anna, I can see The Ring, let’s run the last bit.’ Jaz picked up to a jog as she heard Anna groan, but she was soon puffing alongside her.
They both ran into The Ring, eyes darting around the room looking for Pax. Jaz ditched their bags by the front desk as they headed towards the office.
‘Is that a herd of elephants I hear?’ said Pax, meeting them at the door.
‘Pax,’ they squealed and threw their arms around him, nearly bowling him over.
He kissed their cheeks and Jaz took a deep breath, smelling cinnamon coffee and something different. It was like melted plastic and ink.
‘So where were you this time?’ Anna asked. ‘Were you overseas at some exotic location?’
‘Were you in Bali? You like Bali,’ said Jaz.
‘Nope, you’re both wrong.’ He let them go, stepped back into his office and brought out two wrapped square parcels.
Jaz tore hers open and stared at a water painting full of bright colours of a sunset. ‘Wow, thanks Pax. Did you do these?’ He nodded sheepishly.
‘Oh, I get it,’ said Anna. ‘Bright colours, water and something about landscapes, that’s what you said.’
‘I was doing a course on waterpainting. Do you like them?’
‘Yes,’ they both agreed.
‘I’m going to hang mine in my change room, so I’ll see it every day.’ Jaz grabbed her school bag and headed off. As she changed, she studied the picture. In the corner on the tree trunk was a little squiggle that looked like a signature, only it wasn’t Pax’s signature. Maybe he bought these ones as he didn’t think his own were good enough? Oh well, it didn’t matter, it’s the thought that counts.
Jaz joined Anna and Pax back in the office. He had made a coffee for them all and bought some apple slice from the bakery around the corner.
‘Yum, I’m so hungry. Jaz had me run all the way here, can you believe it. I’m so exhausted,’ sighed Anna before taking a huge bite from her slice.
Jaz laughed and Pax gave her a sly wink. Pax told them a little about his holiday; it was all a bit vague, and then Anna told him about their trips to the firing range. ‘Oh, and Jaz has been busy with this guy Ryan too.’
Pax raised his eyebrow. ‘A fella?’
Jaz shook her head. ‘No, he’s just a friend. Actually Pax, he said he knows you but I’ve never seen him at The Ring before. His name is Ryan Fletcher, does it ring a bell?’
Pax choked on his slice and coughed out a cloud of icing sugar across his lap. ‘Sorry, got pastry stuck in my throat. Hmm, yeah, I think I remember him,’ he managed between mouthfuls. ‘So who’s taking who to the ball? I seem to remember that was coming up?’
Pax had managed to change the subject but not before Jaz noticed the surprised look in his eyes at Ryan’s name. She wondered what that was all about.
After their coffee, they went through the door to his house to help him with some washing. Jaz and Anna had always looked after him, helping do his dishes or making him a few meals after school. Pax had never had a serious relationship, he reckoned he was married to The Ring and cherished his holidays too much to settle. And truthfully, they liked him being just theirs.
Anna headed out the back door with a full washing basket as Jaz aired out his house and opened some windows. She went back to The Ring to grab their coffee cups and wash them, when she saw Ryan enter.
Her heart lurched in her chest as she leaned on the desk and peered through the office window. He looked great in jeans and was wearing the black jacket he’d bought when he was with her. Jaz was about to go and say ‘hi’ when Pax went up to Ryan. Pax didn’t look happy, and neither did Ryan. Pax pointed to Ryan as she tried to read his lips.
What are you doing with Jaz?
I think that’s what Pax was asking him. His face was dark as he asked the same question again. She saw Ryan say something like
recruiting her
. She must have read it wrong. Then Pax took Ryan by his arm dragging him closer towards the front door.
Damn, Pax was standing in front of Ryan’s mouth but some harsh words were being said between the two.
Intrigue moved her from the office and towards them both. She walked slowly and silently, trying to see if she could catch what they were talking about. It was all so secretive, which made her all the more curious.
Pax was whispering. ‘I helped her fake it all — ’
‘We’ll talk later,’ said Ryan, cutting Pax off as he spotted Jaz.
‘Jaz,’ said Pax in alarm as he saw her. But Jaz wasn’t worried that they’d stopped talking with her around. What bothered her is that Ryan had walked off out the door, without as much as a hello or goodbye.
Damn him, he can’t ignore her!
Jaz ran outside after him. ‘Ryan,’ she yelled. ‘Ryan, wait.’
He stopped but didn’t turn around so she had to run around to face him.
‘What’s wrong?’ She threw up her hands as Ryan’s eyes stayed on his feet. ‘Have I done something to upset you? I’m sorry if I have,’ she said. She couldn’t bring herself to speak openly about the kiss. Not while he was like this.
Finally, his eyes rose up to meet hers. He must have heard the pleading and hurt in her voice, as the gold flecks in his eyes shone with empathy. Right there in that moment Jaz could tell he cared. His eyes always spoke the truth to her.
Ryan didn’t answer her question, instead he lifted his hand to her face and traced his thumb along her check, catching a loose hair and brushing it aside.
Jaz could smell his scent on the warm breeze. Closing her eyes, she raised her hand and touched him. At once, he pulled away as if she’d zapped him.
‘I have to go,’ he said stepping back. ‘I’ll be in touch.’ Then he crossed the road to his car without looking back.
Jaz watched him leave, her cheek still tingling from his touch and her mind more confused than ever.
After Ryan’s car took off out of sight, Jaz wandered back into the gym and found Pax by the computer. He was shuffling papers looking like he was busy with work but Jaz didn’t care. She sat on the edge of the desk and waited until he acknowledged her.
‘Pax, what was that all about?’
‘What was what about?’ he said absent-mindedly as he wobbled the computer mouse, flicking on the screen.
Pax was doing a great job of pretending nothing was up so why the need to avoid her eyes. ‘Pax, I’m not stupid, it’s obvious something was going on between you two. How do you know Ryan?’
‘I’m a friend of his family and there is a bit of stuff happening at the moment, nothing for you to worry about.’
‘Is that why he’s been acting weird lately?’ Jaz wondered what kind of stuff was happening. Ryan’s parents? His sister? ‘Is it bad?’
Pax put down the papers and sighed. ‘You’re not going to let this go are you? Look, it’s just a bit of miscommunication, Jaz. It will sort itself out in a few days. Just give Ryan some space, okay.’
‘Alright, if you’re sure.’ She wanted to tell Pax that she wasn’t a kid anymore, that she didn’t need protecting from the world and its nasties. But she had a feeling he was already understanding that fact. Like any parent, they didn’t like to think their kids were growing up.