The Reckoning (68 page)

*

The same doubts had occurred to Rosamund, who was
perfectly certain they had occurred to Polly.

‘
Why else would she have been shocked almost to the losing
of her reason?' she said to Marcus one day in the privacy of
their carriage as they drove back from church.

‘
Why shouldn't it just have been perfectly normal grief?
They had been as close as twins all their lives, after all,'
Marcus said.

Rosamund shook her head. 'There was more than just grief there. Even Knighton shook his head over her, and you know he never exaggerates. He's the most level-headed of doctors. No, she had something on her mind – still has, for the matter
of that. She's so silent and withdrawn. She's keeping some
thing back, and I can't get it out of her.'

‘
Perhaps you shouldn't try. Perhaps if she's left alone, and
not bothered –'

‘
It was Sir William who suggested she should be encou
raged to talk, not me,' Rosamund said with faint affront. 'I'm not one to pry. He thinks she's brooding over something, and
making it worse by going over and over it in her mind,
without relief.'

‘
But what could she be brooding over, other than the
sadness and shock of the accident?’

Rosamund took the plunge. 'I think she believes Minnie
may have killed herself deliberately.' She saw from Marcus's
face that the idea didn't strike him as immediately prepos
terous, and felt an inward sinking. Ever since the frightful
suspicion had occurred to her, she had longed for someone to
convince her it was ridiculous, unthinkable.
Feb de se
was
both a crime and the gravest of sins. Suicides were not
allowed to rest in hallowed ground, but were buried at a
crossroads with a stake through the heart, and their souls
were flung into the outer darkness for ever. That such a fate
might await her own sister was too hideous to contemplate.

‘
Why should you think that?' Marcus asked at last,
neutrally.

‘
There were odd things about it – the way she made sure to
be left alone at home while everyone went to the fair, even
refusing to allow Polly to stay with her. And she'd been
spending hours every day sitting in that empty nursery all
alone, brooding over her lost babies.'

‘
Precisely,' Marcus said bracingly. 'She was in the nursery
just as she had been every day – nothing odd about that. It was a warm day: the sun came out in the afternoon. Surely it's most likely that she opened the window for air, just as
they said, and fell by accident.'

‘
But Marcus,' she said anxiously, 'you've seen that window, how small it is, and how high off the floor. How could anyone
fall out of it by accident?'

‘
Easily enough. It's a casement window, isn't it? Well,
supposing it had swung completely outward, right back
against the wall of the house? If she wanted to shut it again,
she'd have to lean right out to catch hold of it. And then it
would only need her foot to slip, or for her to lose her
balance –’

Rosamund frowned. 'Oh, I wish you could convince me
that was the case.'

‘
My darling, I shall. Look here, I just can't believe anyone
who wanted to kill themselves would do it that way. The
chances of being badly hurt rather than killed are far too
great.'

‘
Yes, you're right,' Rosamund agreed hopefully. 'And
Minnie was always very fond of her comfort, poor creature.
Oh Marcus, it's frightful! My own sister – and Mama so far
away! I feel so bad about it all. I meant to go down and see
her, and make her come to London for a visit, only I kept
putting it off. And now it's too late.'

‘Darling –!' Marcus took her hand.

‘
Whether it was an accident or not, the fact is that she was
very unhappy for a long time, and now she's dead, and I
didn't lift a finger to help her.'

‘
You mustn't blame yourself. None of it was your fault.
Things happen, that's all.'

‘
All very well for you to say that,' she said crossly, pulling
her hand away. 'You've never been in the position. Your conscience is clear — you don't know what it's like.’

‘Don't I?' he said gravely.

She looked at him in surprise. 'What do you mean? You
don't mean Bobbie?'

‘
No, not Bobbie. That was his own choice. But there was a
time in the Peninsula —' He sighed, and looked out of the
window. 'I was out with a troop on reconnaissance, and I led
them into an ambush. Two of them were killed. The rest of us
managed to escape, and afterwards I was praised for my
presence of mind in getting us away with so little loss. But I
knew I was guilty. I should have known there'd be an ambush
there — it was the perfect place for it. Only I was tired, and
cold, and I had other things on my mind, and — well, I just
didn't notice in time.'

‘
You never told me that before,' Rosamund said in a small
voice.

He turned back to her, and shrugged. 'It never came up in
conversation. And I try to forget it — that's what you should
do.’

She looked at her husband with new interest. It was not the
first time since their marriage that he had surprised her. She
supposed that there were things going on in his mind that she
was only now learning about as he grew slowly to trust her
and to bring down the barriers that people always put up
between themselves and the rest of the world.

She was not unhappy in her marriage. She had the estab
lishment and the freedom she had contracted for, she had
adjusted to the change of status more quickly than she had
expected. She even enjoyed, in an amused way, being stood
back for in doorways, taking precedence over women she had
been obliged before to shew deference to, attending State
functions — even being invited to the Prince's parties in her
mother's place. She was slowly making Chelmsford House
comfortable, and her allowance was more than generous. She
had, as the saying was, her pennyworth for her penny.

As to the penny itself — the physical side of things, as she
had expected, was not very troublesome. At present, and
understandably, Marcus wanted to do it quite often, but it
was not to be supposed that that state of affairs would last.
And in any case, it was nothing much to put up with. It no
longer hurt her, and it didn't take very long, and it seemed to
make Marcus happy, all of which seemed a small price to pay
for a contented husband.

She didn't mind chaperoning her sister-in-law, who, when
away from her mother, was pleasant company in a mild and
undemanding way; and it meant that she could continue to go
to parties which she would not otherwise, as a matron, attend.
The fly in the ointment, of course, was her mother-in-law,
but even that in its way was beneficial, for without the
pinpricks of irritation over Lady Barbara's interferences, she might almost have been in danger of being bored by the lack
of friction in her life.

Except, of course, that there was Polly, sitting about the
house like a sick shadow, and the terrible thought that poor
Minnie might have been driven by misery and neglect to fling
herself out of a window to her death. But no, as Marcus said,
it was so unlikely. Minnie had always been so placid and
insensible. Just possible, perhaps, to imagine her
in extremis
taking poison or drowning herself, but not clambering onto
the windowsill, looking down at the path beneath, and
 
She shuddered and stopped her thoughts short.

‘
Cold, my darling?' Marcus said. He was always sensitive to
her least movement or change of mood. Had she been in love
with him, it would have been her greatest delight to see how
much he cared for her, how attuned he was to her slightest
wish or need. As it was, she could see that there would soon
come a time when she would have to find him something else
to be interested in besides her, or she might find herself
smothered to death by him.

She might encourage him to spend more time in the House;
perhaps even persuade him to angle for a Government post.
Yes, that would be both gentlemanly and time-consuming. Once let him get interested in politics, and he would disap
pear, like all the other men of his age and rank, into the clubs for six days out of seven, emerging only to accompany her to
State functions and important parties, and she would be left
alone to get on with her life in her own way.

It was a pity, she thought, that Mama and Papa Danby
were to be away for such a long time, for their influence in
the highest circles would have been enough to recommend
Marcus to a suitable position in one of the ministries.
However, they could still exercise their influence by letter,
and Marcus, having been one of Wellington's staff officers,
was not exactly unknown ...

Happily planning his political career, she managed for a
time to forget the sad ghost of her sister, and the problem of
her cousin.

*

The blow, when it fell, fell suddenly. Rosamund returned to
Chelmsford House a day or two later in the company of Lady
Barbara and Barbarina, with whom she had been making
morning calls. They were met in the hall by the senior
footman, Cowley, deputising for Hawkins on his day off.

‘
Lady Harvey Sale's waiting-woman is here, my lady,'
Cowley said to Rosamund as he took her gloves. 'She asked
for you —'

‘
A waiting-woman? Nonsense!' Lady Barbara intervened.
‘Why is she still here? You should have sent her about her
business, Cowley.'

‘What did she want?' Rosamund asked, trying to ignore her mother-in-law.

‘
I suppose she's come looking for a place, or begging for
money,' Lady Barbara sniffed. 'I know the sort only too well.
But she'll get nothing from this house, if that's her game!'

‘
She didn't say what she wanted, my lady,' Cowley said, his
eyes flickering from the young countess to the dowager and
back. It was a foolish servant who would upset either of them.
‘I told her you were out, and she asked to see Miss Haworth.
So I asked Miss and she said to chew her up.'

‘
Where are they now?' Rosamund asked quickly, forestalling
Lady Barbara's next tirade.