The Rabbi and The Rebbetzin (21 page)

 “Are
you saying that I won’t be able to have any fun in life?” she asked Aaron.

“If
you call decadence fun, I am saying so. I would have to give up my rabbinate if
all the congregational women talk about are the rebbetzin’s improprieties. I
did not spend my life studying at yeshivos to give up my career as a rabbi.”

“I
am only teasing you,” Shulamit said. Even though modest clothing will cost a
lot more, I am willing to dress like a Quaker. You realize that such a style of
dress will obscure my best features.”

“Your
best features are for my eyes only,” Aaron answered.

“OK,”
Shulamit said. “As long as you are a rabbi, I will go along with your desires.
I also know that you have not completed your list of draconian measures. What
else is there?”

“Only
the laws of family purity, which your mother has always observed, and the periods
of sexual separation required.”

“I
am familiar with those laws but I hope you will not be an extremist. You will
pass me the salt if I ask you for it?” Shulamit asked.

“I
don’t believe that I ever was an extremist, and in controversial subjects, I
will give you the benefit of doubt. You know of course that you have to keep
your hair covered?”

“I
do, but I won’t wear a rag. Only an expensive wig will do.”

“I
expected that. You also cannot be seen on mixed beaches or participate in mixed
dancing.”

“Do
I have to sign in blood?”

“No,
Shulamit, I will take your word for it. The laws of modesty,
Tzniut,
are
not trivial, but they have preserved the holiness and morality of the Jewish
people for many generations.”

“OK,
if I agree to go ahead with our relationship and marry you, I will take you
with all the baggage that you bring along.”

Aaron
was relieved that he would not have to give up Shulamit for religious reasons
and he quickly changed the subject. There were a number of other subjects that
he didn’t bother with because she was already aware of them and had given her
consent implicitly.

“Can
you now consider me your steady boyfriend?” Aaron asked.

“I
need more time to think,” Shulamit said, “but I will give you a definite answer
before I go back to school. Meanwhile I have to supplement my wardrobe.”

“What
else could you possibly need?”

“Sackcloth
and ashes,” she said lightly.

With
Ilan Solomon scheduled to return to Pittsburgh in mid-August, Aaron had to
worry about his employment for the coming year. The Talmud classes would be
assigned to Rabbi Solomon based on his twenty years of seniority and his record
as an excellent teacher. The options that were available were teaching secular
classes in the public school system, or in the high school level at the day
school.

 Although
the public school system would offer a higher salary, it might not consider him
qualified for a position because he did not have his MA degree in hand and
could not show any experience in public school teaching. In contrast, the day
school would recognize Aaron’s experience in teaching the Talmud classes at the
day school and would consider that sufficient. They also would not worry about
the lack of an MA degree as long as Aaron would complete his credits by
September.

After
applying to the principal, Aaron discovered that there were two classes without
teachers in the ninth and tenth grades of the school. There were two sections
on each level, one for girls and the other for boys. To have a full day, Aaron
would have to teach one class for girls and one class for boys. He would have
preferred not to have to teach girls, but he could not suggest a trade with the
other teacher. She was happy with teaching boys, so she would want to hang on
to her male class as long as possible.

The
curriculum was standardized and followed closely the design of Pittsburgh
public high schools. The Pittsburgh plan called for English composition to be
taught in both semesters of the ninth grade. In the second semester of tenth
grade, English literature would be introduced, preferably a Shakespearian play.
Since it was up to the teacher to choose the play, Aaron wanted to teach
King
Lear
, even though the day school did not have a supply of copies
available. He figured that the school could find used textbook copies of the
play in the local book stores. For obvious reasons, he rejected any idea of
teaching
Romeo and Juliet
to tenth-grade boys.
Julius
Caesar
was a popular choice, but he had subtle reasons for avoiding it. He did not
feel that he should teach any material which would glorify the Roman Empire
which had shown so much hatred for the Jewish people.

Rabbi
Ilan Solomon returned to Pittsburgh a week before the start of school and
scheduled a meeting with Aaron. Aaron was able to present him with a detailed
record of the students that he had taught in the Talmud classes and convey
orally certain learning problems of certain students. Solomon had not taught
any of these students, so Aaron’s notes served him very well. He then discussed
the shul with Ilan.

“I
heard from Abe Levine and a few other members that you did very well in filling
in at the shul. They liked the way you conducted the services and delivered
meaningful sermons. I understand that you will be worshipping at Beth Israel
next year. Since you were teaching a
Chumash
class at the shul, I would
like to have you continue that class before
Minchah
on Shabbos, if you
are able to do it.” Solomon had no fear that Aaron might become a rival at Beth
Israel, and he felt it was a good idea to keep Aaron busy at the shul in case
he had to be away on some Sabbath. Aaron could fill in for him and there would
be no problems in having the members accept him.

Aaron
was very happy to undertake the class even though it would take much time and
offer no compensation. He wanted to remain involved in the religious studies so
that he would be ready to resume rabbinic work if and when the opportunity next
arose. He thanked Rabbi Solomon for the offer and accepted it graciously. He
also asked the rabbi to inform him if he knew of any students who needed
special tutoring. It would help him supplement his income that was diminished
because he no longer had earning opportunities at the shul.

Shulamit
was scheduled to leave for Pittsburgh on August 20
^th
at noon. The
day before she left, she sent Aaron an email which read: “Mazel Tov! You now
have a steady girlfriend and I have a steady boyfriend. Meet me tomorrow at 9:00
AM before I leave.”

Aaron
walked over from his apartment and took a place in the sunroom where the housekeeper
had set up breakfast.

“I
have a problem to resolve before I go,” she said to him. Cynthia Farber will be
announcing our engagement at the Chanukah dinner and I need an engagement ring.”

Aaron
was aware of this problem and had no solution for it. “I started saving my
pennies a while back, but I am not sure they will be adequate. How much do you
think such a ring will cost?”

“I
am sure that you can get something presentable for about $50,000. My father has
been dealing with a reliable jeweler for many years.”

Aaron
turned a little pale. “Right now I am only $48,000 short. Do you have any
ideas?”

“Fortunately,
I am not marrying you for your money,” Shulamit replied. “Buy me a ring, size seven,
from your own money. We will hide it in a drawer and someday show it to the kids.
For my purposes, I cannot appear in public without at least a five carat
diamond ring, surrounded by emeralds in a platinum setting. She began to sing, ‘Diamonds
are a girl’s best friend.’ I’ll take care of the money.”

Aaron
felt very sad. “Someday I may be able to pay you back.”

“Don’t
worry,” she said. “If our son goes to yeshiva, he will also have to marry a
rich girl who will pay for the ring.

Aaron
discovered the name of Shulamit’s jewelry store and its owner, Morris
Goldstein. He went in to buy a ring in keeping with Shulamit’s suggestion.

Mr.
Goldstein recognized Aaron and welcomed him. “Good morning, Rabbi Adler. What
can I do for you today?”

“What
do you have in the way of an inexpensive engagement ring?”

Engagement of Aaron and
Shulamit announced at congregational Chanukah dinner.

The
jeweler said to him, “Rabbi Adler, you are among friends here and I can be
frank with you. Word in the shul is that you have your eye on Shulamit Levine.
You might be thinking of some engagement ring for the girl. Much as I would
value your money, it would be right for me to advise you not to waste it. A
girl like Shulamit would never wear anything that you could afford to buy for
her. I spoke to Abe Levine and he inquired about a ring of up to $100,000.”

“I
am fully aware of that. For reasons best known to her, however, she wants me to
buy her a ring with my own money and she will treasure it as much as the ring
her millionaire father will buy.”

“In
that case,” Goldstein replied, “I will do the best I can for you. Do you know
her size?”

“She
told me to get her a size seven. Find me the best stone for $2,000 and I will
pay extra for a nice setting.”

“OK,
then, come back in a few days and I will show you some selections. If you
choose one of them, you can have the complete ring by the middle of next week.”

Aaron
followed instructions and was able to take a very nice ring home with him the
following week.

A
week after Shula returned to school, she started receiving congratulations from
her girlfriends. She wondered why she was suddenly getting such warm greetings until
one of her friends showed her the weekly issue of school paper,
Law School Briefs
.
The paper was put out by a student, Andrea Cohen, who was majoring in legal
studies connected to journalism. She had a lot of experience with student
newspapers and had majored in journalism at her undergraduate college. At the university,
she organized a staff of students interested in school journalism and they put
out one issue each week. The law school subsidized the student paper because it
served the interest of the school in unifying the student body and providing a
wholesome outlet for student thought.

Besides
her journalistic capabilities, Andrea Cohen had a lot of other advantages. She
was a tall and very attractive woman with a flashy smile and a pleasant voice.
She used her assets to extract information from every possible source.

On
the first page of the paper was a lead article headlined, “Campus Queen No
Longer Eligible.” The three line subheading read, “Shula Levine reveals that
she is now going steady with an Orthodox rabbi.” The article itself read:

Much to the dismay of more than a
hundred eligible men in the law school, Shula Levine, the Campus Queen and
first-year class president, has revealed that she is now going steady and
exclusively with her hometown Orthodox rabbi. The lucky man is Rabbi Aaron
Adler, who served as the spiritual leader of congregation Beth Israel in
Dunberg, Pennsylvania. Shula’s father, Abe Levine, is president of the
congregation; and Shulamit worships not only God there but also the rabbi.

Shula has told friends that her
engagement will be formally announced at the synagogue Chanukah dinner. When
asked why she is waiting so long, she said, ‘The DeBeers company is having
trouble finding a rock big enough for my purposes.’ Although she was joking,
there were more than a few grains (carats) of truth to her remark. She also advised
any heartbroken swains that there were many other fine girls at the law school.

The
article continued and gave a full background of Shula’s accomplishments in her
first year at the law school. It stated that the school officially revealed the
scores of students on the Dean’s List and Shula was first. It reported on her
outstanding work as president of the incoming class and her talent for music
and drama.

As
for Rabbi Adler, the paper said that he was ordained at the Ohr Moshe Seminary
in Pittsburgh and had earned a master’s degree in English and Education from
Duquense University. He was currently teaching English at the Pittsburgh day
school.

The
article then reprinted an item from the social page of the Dunberg Jewish News,
where the editor said, “Although rabbis and presidents of synagogues rarely
agree on anything, this time there was agreement between Abe Levine, president
of congregation Beth Israel, and Rabbi Aaron Adler, who had served the
congregation as rabbi for the last two years. The object of their agreement was
Shulamit Levine, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Levine. They both consider her smart
and very beautiful. While in Dunberg, the rabbi had successfully courted
Shulamit. Now they were going steady and planning to announce their engagement at
the synagogue Chanukah dinner.” The article went on to congratulate the rabbi
and the entire Levine family.

One
of the paper’s reporters, who interviewed Abe Levine, broke the news that
Levine was planning a special sale of computer hardware and software around the
New Year in honor of his daughter’s engagement. Telacomp would give discounts
and rebates that would save consumers between 10% - 20% of the retail price.

On
the page that contained the last part of the article in the student newspaper, there
was a large picture of Shulamit. It was from one of the photographs that Shula
had ordered from a fashion photographer who worked in Pittsburgh and it was
truly spectacular. The article in the Dunberg Jewish News also showed a
photograph, but the picture was only that of Rabbi Adler. For the Chanukah
dinner, Shulamit made sure to have pictures taken of her and Aaron together.

Before
the dinner, Shulamit’s mother ordered another gown for her daughter from the
dressmaker. She specified that it be a full-length gown suitable for an
engagement party. Shulamit’s measurements had not changed much during the year
and she hoped that she would not need any alterations.

At
the dinner, Cynthia Farber announced the news of the engagement to an overflow
audience. There was no one in the congregation who was unaware of the happy
event. “The rabbi and his new fiancée will now be entering the hall.
Please give them a warm welcome.”

The
audience did as directed and gave Shulamit and Aaron a standing ovation which
lasted for a long while. The band shifted to wedding music and several of the
more traditional younger men began to dance. Shulamit was delighted with the reception
they received and she waved her hand with the ring finger in a manner that
could be seen all over the hall.

When
the dancing and singing came to an end, Cynthia Farber continued with the
dinner program. The Chanukah sermon was delivered by Rabbi Ilan Solomon, who
had resumed his duties at Beth Israel. He was quite experienced in Mazel Tov
speeches, and praised Abe Levine and his family in addition to Rabbi Adler and
his fiancée.

Shulamit
flew back to Philadelphia and resumed her class work. This time,
Law School Briefs
described Shula’s engagement in great detail. The article featured a picture of
Aaron and Shulamit which did them both justice. To add some spice to the
article, the article also printed a picture of Shula’s engagement ring. The heading
read: “The Campus Queen’s consort to be is happy with his prize.”

A
month after the engagement, Abe Levine began to worry seriously about the
wedding which was scheduled to take place in August after Tisha B’Av. Abe sat
down with Aaron to explain his problems. The only common ground between them
was the Tu B’Av date, an appropriate choice because of its historical
importance. All other wedding arrangements presented severe difficulties.

“Aaron,
as you know, I have a large business. I have employees who fill critical
positions for me and companies that sell me merchandise and buy our products. Most
of them are not Jewish, and those that are of the same faith are not observant.
I’ve been at Chassidic and Charedi weddings. I can’t imagine any of my guests
will enjoy sitting separately from his wife and not be allowed to dance with
her. We are not living in Williamsburg or Kew Gardens but in the heartland of
America. I have been laboring for some solution to this problem.”

Aaron
answered, “I have the same problem as you do, but only in reverse. Most of my
friends are from the yeshiva and they are very religious. I cannot in good
conscience invite them to a wedding where the people sit and dance mixed and
the women dress immodestly.”

“You’re
a smart man, Aaron. What would you suggest?”

“I’ve
been working on this problem for a year and I have come up with an appropriate
solution. In essence it involves two segments of one wedding. On a typical
Sunday, there will be a traditional wedding starting at 2:30 PM. The religious
wedding service will take place in this segment. Seating will be separate,
dancing will be separate, and the music will be traditional. The food served
will also be traditionally Jewish. The guests who will be invited will be the
heads of the yeshiva and my student friends. Members of the Dunberg community
who are traditional may also be invited and we can include Orthodox rabbis from
Pittsburgh.

The
first part of the wedding will be over by 6:00 PM. The reception, which I
consider the second part of the wedding, will start at 7:30 PM. The invitation
to the reception will clearly state that the religious wedding services will be
conducted at the Beth Israel synagogue earlier in the day, and the reception is
an event welcoming the new bride and groom. The logistics have to be worked out
but they can be arranged. Only a small handful of individuals will have to
attend both segments.”

Levine
said to Aaron, “It will be difficult to arrange but it offers the only
reasonable solution. Your family will not have to stay for the full length of
the reception, and you and Shulamit may leave a little earlier. We will have to
arrange transportation for some people from Beth Israel to the Hotel
Pittsburgh. I will look into it.”

In
the months following the engagement, Shula in Philadelphia and Aaron in
Pittsburgh underwent profound psychological changes. Shulamit’s girlfriends on
campus withdrew from her and her popularity took a nose dive. She was no longer
invited to parties and other happy-time events. The men, who had enjoyed
talking and joking with her, simply ignored her and left her strictly alone.

This
did not happen to other engaged or married students and Shula understood why
she was different. She was going to marry a rabbi, a man of God. She was
spiritually elevated, as if she had been transformed to Hannele in Gerhart Hauptmann’s
dramatic work,
Hanneles Himmelfahrt
, where the house girl ascends to
heaven with dreams and visions before she died.

Shula
concluded that her friends were now ashamed to be with her because of their
sins and indiscretions. While Shula’s face emitted rays of holiness, they were
ridden with guilt. These events caused Shula to go into a deep period of self-examination
and self-doubt. She began to wonder if she could really live a dry, monastic style
of life. In college, Shula was always the life of the party and the belle of
the ball. The words of Bill Mazer now came back to haunt her. She asked herself
whether her engagement to Aaron was a big mistake.

When
her depression began to affect her work, she realized she needed help. In
Dunberg she would have sought out Ilan Solomon. He was her teacher in day
school and her rabbi at the synagogue. He was certainly not a fanatic and would
have understood her situation.

Her
problem was that she was alone in Philadelphia and did not know any of the
community rabbis. She then remembered that there was a Hillel organization for
undergraduates at the university. The chaplain was Orthodox in his personal
practice, but because of the varied makeup of the student body, the services he
conducted were interdenominational. The Hillel minyan had separate seating
without a mechitza
,
and met only Friday nights and Saturday morning. The
moderately Orthodox students compromised on the seating arrangement or davened
privately.

Rabbi
Jacob Smith was in the chapel studying when she walked over to the
undergraduate area and entered the building. Rabbi Smith recognized her from
her picture in the
Law School Briefs
. He invited her to join him in his
office and asked what he could do for her. “Before we start, though, let me
wish you Mazel Tov on your engagement to Rabbi Adler. I don’t know the rabbi
personally, but I do know the yeshiva where he studied and certain members of
the faculty.”

Shula
sat down facing the chaplain’s desk. “Thank you, Rabbi Smith,” she said. “I
came for counseling and I need some guidance. Do you have some time for me?”

The
rabbi saw her troubled eyes and said in a light mood, “For the campus queen I
will always make time.”

“I
no longer feel like a queen anymore,” Shula said sadly. “I made a major
decision and I have doubts whether it was a wise one.”

“Are
you perhaps suffering from pre-marital jitters? I have been treating such
problems for twenty years and I have been helpful to many students who suffered
from them.”

“My
problems are somewhat different,” Shula answered. “I have no doubts about the
man I expect to marry. Aaron is a paragon of virtue, a
tzaddik
if there
ever was one.”