The Rabbi and The Rebbetzin (20 page)

Aaron
did not have any problems with teaching younger students. The boys were 12 to
13 years of age and were mature enough to follow Talmudic reasoning. There were
no girls in the class because the day school followed the national pattern of
day schools in this matter. Elementary instruction was given in coed classes until
somewhere between the fourth and sixth grades, depending on the individual
school.

Aaron
livened up the subject matter with stories, anecdotes and historic examples of
great rabbis who wrote the Talmud or studied it. He told the students about
Rashi, Maimonides and the Vilna Gaon, without whose commentaries the Talmud
could not be readily understood. The day school students were serious in their
work and Aaron was able to maintain order and discipline in the classrooms. The
teaching, together with the synagogue work and college studies, kept Aaron
extremely busy and he barely kept up with the email that he sent and received
from Shulamit.

He
was not surprised when he received word from her that, according to the final
election statistics, she enjoyed an overwhelming victory in the voting. He,
more than anyone else, knew of her brilliance and her extroverted personality.
He was only amazed that she was able to accomplish her feat among strange
students with whom she was not familiar. Shulamit mentioned her opponent more
frequently that necessary and Aaron became worried that the opponent would someday
become a close friend.

Shulamit
was also wondering about the same question. She and Bill worked together in the
student government and she could detect his strong desire for her in his eyes.
She also felt strong desire for him. Bill was a handsome man who spoke to her
in a cultured voice. She appreciated his sensitivity and understanding and did
nothing at first to discourage their growing friendship.

The
dinner that they enjoyed following her election victory went very well. He did
not spare any money or effort to make her feel comfortable. His social skills
were quite evident and reflected much experience dating and meeting women. He
escorted her back home after dinner and accepted her excuse that she was too
tired to invite him into her apartment.

Shulamit
reflected upon her experience. She had not violated any promises to Aaron whom
she had given to understand that since they were not going steady, she might be
going out on dates from time to time. She considered the possibilities of
getting serious with Bill, but she was doubtful about it. He was handsome and
attractive and she felt strong physical desire when he was with her. She could
not, however, conceive of a marriage existing solely on a physical basis.

True,
Bill had some other assets. He was of course quite brilliant and he ranked
second or third in the incoming class. He was, however, very aggressive and
ambitious. She was afraid that their marriage could become quite competitive
and result in some stress. She was also worried whether a man such as Bill
would remain faithful to her over the years.

In
one of their meetings, they had a chance to talk about general subjects and she
asked him about his religious observance. Bill’s parents observed some
traditions. His mother lit candles and his father went to shul on the holidays.
Bill did attend Hebrew school for a few years and learned to read Hebrew for
his bar mitzvah. Beyond that, his religious education and practices were very
slight. When he lived at home, he went to shul on Yom Kippur with his father.
At college, he went to the Hillel organization to meet women but not to
participate in the religious programs.

For
Shulamit, this was insufficient. Her father would never be comfortable with
someone so far removed from religious life. He would not be eager to take him
into his business or subsidize his style of living. Bill had once told of his
desire to get to know her father better and she gathered that he was thinking
how nice it would be to marry into a family of great wealth.

With
Aaron, she had no such problem because he was an idealist. His ambitions were
not primarily for himself. He studied for religious reasons and was interested
mostly in bringing people closer to the Torah way of life. There was no doubt
in her mind that Aaron would always remain faithful to her and would not be
attracted to other woman.

Late
one afternoon, Shulamit invited Bill to take her to her apartment where they
would discuss some law school business. She was quite tired and didn’t care to
spend the time eating dinner at the kosher restaurant in Pittsburgh. She called
Mrs. Shapiro and asked her to set up an extra plate for the meal.

Mrs.
Shapiro was happy to do so. Some of the previous renters of her main floor had
not kept kosher. She cooked all of Shulamit’s meals in her own apartment. To keep
the food warm, she asked a local rabbi, who had been a close friend of her late
husband, to kasher the burners on the stove in the main apartment downstairs.
She still used a metal sheet to cover the burners and keep the food warm.

She
did not know if Shulamit’s guest was coming for business or social purposes, so
she took no chances. She prepared a very special meal and served it with wine
and cakes.

Bill
remarked that the meal reminded him of his mother’s cooking but remembered to
say that it was much better. Satisfied with the meal and mellowed with the
wine, Bill and Shulamit adjourned to the living room to conclude their
business. They sat down on the couch and relaxed.

Shulamit
suddenly realized that Bill Mazer was gazing at her in a romantic manner. She
felt a need to discourage him in this area because, given their different
lifestyles, there was no reason to feel that anything serious could develop between
them. She gently advised him that their differences in religious matters and in
lifestyle were irreconcilable.

Shulamit
remained friends with Bill for the remainder of the school year, but romantic
feelings diminished. Emotionally they grew further apart. She went on a few
dates with others, but these were one-night events with no serious
consequences. There were a few Jewish students on campus who had a good
religious education and attended religious services that were held by the
Jewish student organization. They were however deficient in other basic
attributes and presented no serious opportunities for her.

Shulamit
flew home for Chanukah on Friday before the holiday and planned to return for
class on Monday after the Chanukah dinner. An early morning flight would get
her to the law school on time for classes. She attended shul on Friday night
and Shabbos and was proud of Aaron’s conduct of the services. He had matured
greatly since leaving the yeshiva and starting to deal with the Jewish communities
in Pittsburgh and Dunberg.

After
Shabbos, Shulamit began to prepare for the Chanukah dinner. She couldn’t wear
last year’s gown because too many people who attended the affair year in and
year out would remember it. Her mother arranged for the dressmaker to make a
new gown for Shulamit, and be on call Saturday night and Sunday to make any
changes if necessary. Working hard at school and spending long hours on campus
had caused Shulamit to lose some weight and some seams had to be taken in.

During
the afternoon, she met with Aaron who was not teaching on Sunday. They had a
pleasant conversation before the dinner. Shulamit had left her sports car at her
garage and Bernie had driven her to the airport to catch the plane. She chose
not to risk her life in Aaron’s eight-year-old Ford, and walked to the shul
with him on Sunday night. Once again she entered the hall with Aaron and they
took their place at the head table. She didn’t get a standing ovation this year,
but as always, she earned a generous round of applause.

She
sang the national anthem, followed by
Hatikva,
and sat down with Aaron
until he was called to deliver his sermon. This year he spoke about the application
of the Chanukah message to modern affairs. He stressed the allegiance of the
Maccabees to their religious convictions and their willingness to fight for
their principles and freedom. Shulamit bid Aaron farewell after the dinner and
told him that she would probably be home for the Passover holiday.

She
then returned to Philadelphia and prepared for the end of the year
examinations. She did very well on the tests and a week later she was called in
to the dean’s office. The dean advised her that she had won a place on the deans’
list for her scholarship. She was expecting to hear some more, but Dean Krayman
told her that he was not permitted to tell her the rank of the students who
made the list.

“Nevertheless,”
he told her, “one of your indiscreet professors will probably spill the beans
and reveal your standing to you.” It happened as the dean had predicted, and a
few days later she learned that she was number one on the list.

Ten
days later the marks were posted. Students were listed by their code names followed
by their grades. She found her code name with her marks and, scanning the list,
she saw that she had indeed earned the highest score.

At
the end of June, she packed up her belongings in the sports car and drove home
to Dunberg. She had promised Aaron that she would spend the summer with him
discussing their future and their plans. She had prepared a schedule of places
to visit, starting with the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia and including the Statue
of Liberty, the Washington Monument, the Capital, the White House and a few of
the more famous tourist traps. They managed to maintain a kosher diet, albeit
with some difficulties.

In
New York they visited some of the more famous museums and took some time off to
shop at Macy’s and Bloomingdale’s. Aaron felt confident enough to invite
Shulamit to his parent’s home and Shulamit accepted the invitation after some
deliberation. She was not sure as to whether it was too early to formally visit
Aaron’s parents because she knew that in ultra-Orthodox families, the visit of a
girl to a boy’s parent’s home had very significant implications for Shidduchim.

Shulamit
was treated to a gala dinner and was warmly received by all the members of the
household who were on their best behavior. Aaron’s sister was in the kitchen
and whispered to her mother, “Wow! Mom did you see that beauty that Aaron
brought in with him. How am I ever going to keep up with someone like that?”

“Don’t
worry, dear,” she said. “You’re beautiful too, and don’t count your chickens
before they hatch. Until I see a ring on her finger, nothing is definite.”

Shulamit
spoke to Aaron’s parents after dinner for quite a time. Aaron had not kept his
parents abreast of his feelings for Shulamit and the progress of his courtship.
In their conversation, the parents tried to determine the extent of Shulamit’s
religious observance and her Jewish background. His father also asked Shulamit
indirectly about her father’s economic status.

“I
understand your father has a business of sorts?” Shulamit didn’t fall into the
trap. She sensed that her relationship with Aaron would change drastically if
she revealed the true extent of her father’s wealth, especially since Aaron had
not told them. She was afraid that the parents would be scared that Aaron could
not possibly support such a girl given his meager means. She merely said that
her father was a computer salesman.

By
shifting Aaron’s brothers to a room in the basement, they were able to arrange
for Shulamit to sleep in the house that night. Aaron went to a friend’s house who
lived nearby by, since spending the night with a girlfriend in the same house
before marriage was not appropriate.

In
the morning, Aaron went to shul with his father and after the prayers they had
a short discussion. His father conceded that Shulamit was truly a beautiful
girl. Being admitted to the university law school indicated that she was quite
smart. He wondered whether Shulamit would be content to live in the humble and
restricted style of a small-town rebbetzin. He added that as a computer
salesman, Shulamit’s father could not grant Aaron much support.

Aaron
had a good laugh at his father’s expense. “Shulamit was just pulling your leg, Dad.
She has a million dollars in the bank in her own name, and her father is the
owner of a company called Telacomp, the largest computer software and hardware company
on the East Coast. He’s easily worth a hundred million dollars.”

His
father repeated a line that he heard on television. The comedian was saying, “I
was rich and I was poor – but rich was a lot better.”

“Aaron,
you know that our family is very observant and you are a rabbi in your own
right from a very frum yeshiva. Do you feel that Shulamit is religious enough
to meet your standards? Aside from that question, I can’t believe that you
could find a better Shidduch in this world.”

“That
I know, Dad,” Aaron replied. “I am not sure how religious she is willing to
become, but I will find out before I go any further with her. If she is not
willing to change, I will give her up and marry an ordinary girl from the Beis
Yaakov Seminary.”

At
intervals during their travels, Aaron had time to discuss serious matters
concerning their future married life. He said to Shulamit, “I know that you
have grown up as a Sabbath observer and have kept Kashrus to the limit of your
ability. Being a rebbetzin, however, will require more than nominal observance.
You may have to set an example for hundreds of women and live more strictly
than you have up to now. You will not be able to be seen in certain inappropriate
places which are off-limits to rabbis. You will also have to dress in keeping
with your position. Sleeves will have to be below the elbow and the
décolletage high enough not to attract attention.”