The Purity of Blood: Volume I (25 page)

“You’re still asleep?” a voice
said.
 
“Wake up, lazy bones.
 
It’s almost lunch time.”
  

I rolled
over.
 

“Oh.
 
Hi, Darcy,” I mumbled as I pulled back the
covers a little.
 
I think I was still
hiding under them.

“You must have
had quite a night!
 
What have you been up
to?”
 
She smiled slyly at me as she
upturned her laundry hamper on top of her bed.

I popped out of
bed.
 
How could she tell?

“What are you
talking about?” I demanded sleepily.

While she looked
me up and down, giving me the once over, I realized I was still in the clothes
I’d worn out last night.

“Oh – that.”

“Yes, that.
 
Come on, dish!”

I walked over to
my dresser and pulled out some clean clothes and my shower kit.

“Nothing you
want to hear about, I assure you,” was my honest answer.
 
“I went to the festival and when I got home,
I was so tired I fell asleep in my clothes.”

It was obvious
she could tell I was holding something back.
 
Doing my best to ignore her incredulous stare, I gathered up my stuff.

“I’ll be right
back,” I said as I headed for the door.
 
“I’m going to take a shower.”

Cautiously
opening the door, I peered out into the hallway.
 
Stacy was walking down the corridor and
disappeared into her room.
 
I let out a
breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
 
What had I been expecting?
 
When I
looked over my shoulder, Darcy was eying me warily, suspiciously even.
 
Needing to escape her disapproving gaze, I
summoned the courage to walk through the doorway and gently shut the door
behind me.
 

I hastily walked
down the hall to the girl’s bathroom and into an empty shower stall where I
stripped off my clothes.
 
I felt like I
was stripping away that part of the memory of last night that I didn’t want to
hold on to anymore.
 
Maybe it had been a
dream.
 
Lord knew I had some crazy dreams
from time to time.

Reaching in, I
turned on the water to give it time to warm up and hung my towels up on the
hook.
 
When I stepped in, I savored the
sensation of the hot water as it began to run down my body.
 
Closing my eyes, I circled around, allowing
it to cover me entirely, enveloping me like a cocoon.
 

I wanted to hide
in here all day, where no one would bother me.
 
I needed time to process what had happened last night.
 
I just didn’t know how to react.
 
In my short life, I’d seen many things, but
even with all I’d witnessed I’d never seen what Daniel had become last
night.
 
And he had transformed into
something.
 

React?
 
I felt I should be afraid, but I wasn’t.
 
That in and of itself was confusing.
 
I knew I shouldn’t ever want to see Daniel
again, but I couldn’t even consider that option.
 
Not just because I’d have to see him in
class, but I almost felt as if he had something of mine now, something that
without it, I wouldn’t be complete.
 
I
know it made no sense, but that was my problem.
 
How do you resolve nonsense in your mind?

I lathered up my
hair.
 
The bubbles felt so soft under my
fingers and smelled so sweet.
 

What was Daniel
thinking at this very moment?
 
Was he up
at the house?
 
Maybe
he
packed up and left town.
 
He’d looked so angry last night, barely in control of some
uncontrollable rage.
 
Would he ever want
to see me again let alone call me?
 
Hell,
should I even answer the phone if he ever did call?

When I finished
rinsing my hair, I just stood there and allowed myself to feel the hot water as
it danced off my skin.
 
I turned up the
heat until it was practically scalding.
 
I needed to feel something physical.
 
After a while I finally reached up and switched it off.
 
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t hide in here
all day.
 
Wrapping myself in a towel, I
sat down on the bench in the little alcove.
 
I was mentally drained.
 
Maybe I
should just go back to bed.
 
I slowly
dressed, dried my hair and brushed my teeth, but paid no real attention to what
I was doing.
 
I only completed the tasks
out of some sense of rote repetition.
 
My
mind was still at the back door of Capen Hall staring at a pair of black eyes.

After I walked
back down the hall to my room, I tossed my clothes into the hamper and sat down
at my desk to consider what to do with the day.

“Tabitha called
while you were gone.
 
I told her you’d
call her back,” Darcy said.
 
She was
curled up on her bed doing homework.

“Okay.”
 
I picked up my phone, looked at it and then
put it in my pocket.
 
Yep, still had no idea
what to say.
 
I looked at the books on my
desk.
 
The thought of trying to study
today seemed like an exercise in futility, so I put some shoes on, grabbed my
wallet and started for the door.

“Will I see you
later?” I asked.

“Maybe, but
probably not.”

“Alright.
 
I won’t be
back for a while,” I said over my shoulder as I started out the door.
 
I was grateful she hadn’t asked me anything
else and made my escape before she had a chance to get curious.

I headed out the front door of
the dorm and began to circle the quad aimlessly.
 
The sun was out, but it appeared the cool air
of fall was here to stay.
 
Pulling the
collar up on my jacket, I shoved my hands deep into my pockets.
 
I thought about calling Tabitha, but knew
she’d hear something in my voice that would tip her off to my altered mental
state.
 
I’d noticed how acutely aware she
was of things like that.

Tired of
circling, I headed off in the direction of town.
 
It would take a while to get there, but time
was what I was looking to kill.
 
The
academic side of campus was quiet as it usually was on a Sunday.
 
Only a few overly erudite students milling
around the steps of the library were visible.
 
Glancing at them as I walked by, they looked like they could be friends
of Rodney’s.
 
Well, the guys anyway.

I continued up
the steps that led to the faculty tower quad.
 
I couldn’t stop myself from pausing at the top to glance down at an
indentation in the bushes, the very bushes I’d pushed Daniel into.
 

An unexpected
gust of wind hit my face rousing me from my thoughts.
 
What was I doing?
 
Where was I going really?
 
Was I just going to walk around all day
trying to hide from myself?
 
It seemed
stupid somehow.
 
I either had to pretend
it had never happened, pretend that Daniel was just another teacher and move
on, or confront the situation.
 
I mean
really, what other choice did I have other than dropping out of school, which
wasn’t even an option in my mind.

I sat down on a
nearby rock and considered my two choices for what seemed like a long
while.
 

Finally having
made my decision, I got up and started back in the direction of the dorm.
 
Passing Capen Hall for the back parking lot,
I got in my car.
 

After taking a
deep breath, I started it up and headed towards town.
 
Driving up Manheim Boulevard, I rolled down
my window and turned onto Main Street as I continued off into the hills.
 
The road began to twist and turn as I slowly
made my way up the mountain until I finally found the turn off Daniel had taken
the previous week.
 
I pulled down the
unmarked gravel road, and when I got to the fork where he’d turned off, kept to
the opposite side staying on the gravel.
 
I wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure this led down to the
house.
 

A few minutes
later I rounded a corner and the modern glass, wood and stone house finally
appeared.
 
Standing out against the
trees, it sat in a small, well-manicured field, but there was no other
landscaping that I could see.
 

The garage door
wide open, I spotted his shiny black car parked inside.
 
The instant I saw it, I felt a normal person
wouldn’t be doing this.
 
After what I’d
seen last night, a normal person would have packed up and ran home to Mom and
Dad.
 
I sighed again as I came to a stop
beside the garage.
 
Unfortunately, of one
thing and one thing alone, I was certain.
 
I was anything but normal.

I parked in the
driveway, summoned some hidden reserve of courage and walked up to the front
door.
 
As I held my hand up to ring the
bell, I just looked at my hand as it hovered over the button.
 
I was wrong before.
 
This is where the line was, and I was about
to cross it.
 
The line that once crossed
I could never come back from.
 

I moved to push
the bell, but before I made contact, the heavy wooden door slowly began to open.
 
Daniel stood there, looking perfect in a dark
plumb cashmere sweater and jeans.
 
He silently
stared at me from behind those amazing sky blue eyes.
 
I was more thankful than words could express to
see they were blue again.
 
I don’t think
I’d even considered what I’d have done if they were still the black I’d seen
last night.
 
As he stared at me blankly, I
opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
 
I couldn’t speak.
 
I’d come all
the way up here to confront him, but when I stood there gazing into the depths
of his soul, I couldn’t utter a single syllable.
 
He seemed sad – no, not sad, maybe
detached.
 
Most certainly lost.

Finally he said
“What do you want?” in a calm and even tone.
 
I wasn’t sure how to answer.
 
Surely he had to know why I’d come up here.
 
How could he not?

“Can I come
in?”
 
I finally found my voice again.

“Do you want
to?” he asked trying to hide his disbelief.
 

After we stared
at each other for a long moment, he finally stepped aside to allow me by.
 
I guess not caring anymore what would happen
next, I walked into the living room.
 
He
followed, but stayed by the doorway as if not wanting to be too close to
me.
 
I was drawn to the spectacular view
out the glass wall on the far side of the room.
 
Stopping just short of it, I looked out over the shimmering water on the
lake below.

“Why did you
come here?
 
I’d have thought I’d be the
last person in the world you’d want to see today – or ever.”

I turned from
the window and faced him.
 
He must have
been looking at my back, but averted his gaze when I looked his way.

“To be honest, I
don’t know how I feel.”
 
I decided to be
honest with him.
 
“Part of me wants to
run home to Wading River and never come back.”
 
He looked up to meet my eyes and took a deep breath. “But I think a
bigger part, a part I don’t understand, wants to run across this room, grab
hold of you and never let go.”
 

I couldn’t
believe I was saying this out loud.
 
I
wasn’t even sure where it had come from, but it was true, undeniably so.
 
I must be making the world’s biggest fool of
myself.
 
I’m sure this is the part where
he kicks me out of his house and tells me never to come back.

He didn’t say
anything for a minute.
 
We just stared at
each other from opposite sides of the room.

“You should have
listened to the first part,” he murmured. “That’s the smart one.”

As my heart fell
in my chest, the room started to spin around me and I reached out with my arm
to steady myself on the arm of the sofa.

“But I’m glad
you didn’t,” he added softly.
 
“You look
like you want to ask me a question.”
 

He paused, I
think wanting and yet not wanting to hear what would come out of my mouth
next.
 
I could physically feel the waves
of apprehension coming off him.
 
It mixed
with my fear and confusion, creating an incredibly tense atmosphere between
us.
 
I knew what I wanted to ask, but it
sounded too absurd.