The Purity of Blood: Volume I (24 page)

When I didn’t
answer, he turned to look at me.
 
I
couldn’t read the exact expression in those blue eyes here in the shadows of
our parking spot, but I could tell they were expecting a reply.

“I don’t have a
good answer for you.
 
I tried to tell you
before.
 
I’m not … normal.
 
I’m not like the other girls here on campus.”
 

I stopped, I
could tell he wanted more of an explanation, but I didn’t care who or what he
was to me.
 
I just didn’t feel
comfortable talking about all that with anyone, let alone a stranger like
Daniel.
 
Whatever he was, he was still
pretty much a stranger to me.
 
I felt
myself stiffen up beside him.
 

“It’s not in my
nature to let things pass, I wasn’t raised that way.
 
After tonight, I think he’ll go out of his
way to avoid me – and maybe think twice about bothering anyone else around
here.”
 

Why was I
telling him any of this?
 
It really
wasn’t any of his business.

He finally
turned the key and the engine started to purr.

“Trouble will find you often enough in life, Sara, without
you searching it out.
 
What really
concerns me is that you think you can handle whatever comes your way, but in
truth there are things far worse than our friend back there – dangers you couldn’t
possibly hope to defend yourself against.”

We drove the few minutes back to
Capen Hall in silence.
 
Even though I
suppose tonight had given us both a lot to think about, I still wished we could
have ended the evening in a lighter mood.
 
Despite how it was drawing to a close, I’d had a good time, more so than
I would have expected under the circumstances.
 
He parked behind the dorm and quickly got out to open my door for me.

“Why do I always
feel uneasy when I drop you off back here?” he asked as if not really expecting
an answer.

“I don’t
know.
 
Didn’t you like living in the
dorms wherever you went to school?”

“Actually, I
never did.
 
We always rented a house
instead.”

“How come?”

We started to
walk up the path to the back entrance.

“Why tempt fate
I guess,” was all the answer he offered as he looked over and smiled at me.

“I’d ask what
you mean by that, but somehow I have the feeling you wouldn’t give me a good
answer if I did,” I said as I smiled back.

“You’re probably
right. – Despite your little altercation, I had a good time tonight.
 
I hope you did as well.”

I had, but
couldn’t bring myself to verbalize it to him.
 
Instead I stared up into his eyes.
 
I could never get used to them looking into mine.
 
I just couldn’t understand why he’d want to
spend time with someone like me.
 
Somehow
I couldn’t bring myself to say this was my low self-esteem talking.
 
Better looking girls than me would have
thought the same, of this I was sure.

As we reached
the base of the cement stairs that led up to the back door, he stopped.
 

“I guess this is
where I leave you.”

He looked down
and tentatively took my hand in his.
 
His
touch still felt odd, somehow unnatural, but at that moment I didn’t care.
 
I looked down at my hand in his then allowed
my eyes to travel up to his face.
 
If I
wasn’t mistaken, he looked like he wanted to kiss me, but something was holding
him back.
 
There was a strange tension in
his body that seemed at odds with the tender look in his eyes.
 
It made me think he was restraining himself
from something.
 

Was he shy?
 

No possible way
, I answered myself.
 

Than why did he
look so hesitant, so timid in his demeanor all of a sudden?

I’d been
fighting against any hint of allowing myself to have romantic feelings for
Daniel ever since … well, ever since he first strolled up to the podium that
day in class.
 
Something deep down inside
me screamed it wasn’t right, but had he kissed me at that moment, I’d have
shoved every bad feeling to the back of my mind and embraced him gladly.
 
A part of me longed for his touch, but for
now that part was safely shoved in a box, the lid tightly shut.
 
Yet my resolve seemed brittle, as if I could
hear it loudly rattling around inside that box.

He looked at my
hand as he held it up.
 
“I can feel your
pulse,” he said softly.
 
“The warmth of
the blood in your veins.”
 

He continued to
softly hold my hand in his as he traced one of the veins in my wrist with his
finger.
 

As he held my
hand, I could feel nothing in his except the strange sensations his touch
brought out in me.
 
But I was lost
anyway.
 
The pounding of my heart drown
out every other sound on the earth.
 
There was only him.

“Can I call you
tomorrow?” he asked softly, hesitantly, almost as if he expected me to say
no.
 

I nodded
yes.
 
There was no way I could utter an
intelligent word, let alone string an entire sentence together while I was
caught in his gaze.

“Good night,” he
whispered staring down into my eyes.
 

He took a step
away still holding my hand, then let go as he reluctantly turned and started
back towards his car.
 
As he slowly
walked away, he looked over his shoulder at me a couple of times.
 
I could tell because I met his glance each
time as I walked up the stairs.
 

I knew it was
now or never.
 
If I didn’t get these
ridiculous ideas out of my head this instant, there was no way I could ever
have a relationship with Daniel, friend or whatever else there might be between
us.

He was about
half way to his car now and as I gained the top of the stairs, I quickly
reached into my bag and pulled out my keys.
 
Attached to them was a small pocket knife.
 
Shoving all logic and reason aside, I opened
it to expose the cutting blade and dropped my purse.
 
Taking a deep, fortifying breath, I looked
down at the knife in my right hand, and the open palm of my left.
 

Could I really do this?

Then I shifted
my gaze up.
 
Daniel was only a dozen feet
from his car but easy to see under the street lights.
 
While keeping my eye on him, I used the knife
to make a deep gash in the palm of my left hand, then tightly squeezed my hand
so that the blood began to drip onto the concrete below.
 

Instantly,
Daniel stopped mid footstep.
 
Almost as if
in slow motion, I watched as his head angled slightly up and off to the left as
he raised his chin as if sniffing the air.
 
Then he disappeared in a blur.
 

Almost
instantaneously, he appeared on the other side of the metal banister in front
of me.
  
Boring down into me with an
almost inhuman intensity, his eyes were no longer blue, but black and darkly
sunken into his head.
 
The veins
surrounding both eyes almost looked as if they were filled with black ink and
spidered
out from his black eyes like he was wearing some
kind of mask.
 
He wasn’t breathing, which
given that every muscle in his body was tenser than I’d have thought humanly
possible, seemed impossible.
 
It was then
that I realized it was my hand that he was staring at.
 
Shaking ever so slightly, it seemed obvious
he was fighting an overwhelming urge to grab at it.
 

My back to the
door, I stood there motionless, paralyzed.
 
What was it that held me there?
 
Was it fear, astonishment, surprise, shock, revulsion?
 
Most likely a lopsided mixture of all of
them.
 
Deep down inside I could feel my
heart pounding so loud I thought it would burst out of my chest.
 
When I started to feel dizzy, I suddenly
realized I wasn’t breathing and inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with precious
and most necessary oxygen.
 

This momentary
waver of my attention from his eyes broke our spell and I watched his head as
it snapped up to my face. Black eyes, like an animals, stared at me, almost
unrecognizing the features of my face.
 
He tilted his head ever so slightly to the right as if examining me for
the first time.
 
Indeed this was the
first time I’d seen this thing.
 
This was
not the Daniel I knew.
 
The soft blue
eyes of that Daniel could never look at me like this.
 

Then in a raspy,
guttural voice, he spoke.
 

“Get inside.”
 

It was a
command, not a request.

Keeping my eyes
locked on him, I slowly bent down and picked up my bag.
 
I wasn’t entirely sure he, or it, wouldn’t
pounce on me.
  
What would happen if he
did?
 

I stood up, but
didn’t move to open the door, I was caught in his eyes, just as surely as I was
caught in a trap.

“Now!
 
Before it’s too late!”
 

His voice was
louder now, with an angry, urgent insistence behind it.
 
He hadn’t moved a muscle, but I could see his
hands as they tightly clasped the metal banister.
 
It was acting as a barrier between us, as if
it were the only thing preventing him from devouring me whole.
 

A moment later,
I was somehow able to break free of his stare.
 
Somehow I found the strength to quickly fumble with my keys in the lock before
quickly slamming the heavy metal door shut behind me.
 
I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, and
when I reached the second floor landing, I paused for a fraction of a second to
listen for any sound that he had followed me.
 
Hearing only silence, I sprinted down the hall to my room, slammed the
door behind me and locked the deadbolt.
 
Leaning against the solid wood door, I slowly slid down to the floor,
hugging my knees to my chest I found myself staring into the darkness of the
empty room.
 

What had just
happened?
 
It couldn’t possibly be. These
things just weren’t true.
 
They were
myths, stories told to scare children.
 
They had to be.
 

I couldn’t think
the word let alone say it out loud.
 
But
part of me knew it was true, the part that always knew there was something
different about him besides his good looks.
 
It was the part I recognized the first time I’d seen him in the hallway
outside the Professor’s office, when I saw the predator in his eyes.
 
And yet, it was the same Daniel who’d wanted
to take my hand.
 
The same man who’d
murmured ‘You have no idea what it took for me not to finish the job.”

I sat there for a
long time, just listening for some sign of him.
 
How long exactly, I don’t know.
 
Eventually, when I hadn’t heard a sound out of the ordinary for what
seemed like an eternity, I crept across the floor and crawled into my bed.
 
On the way, I’d grabbed an old scarf I didn’t
like and wrapped it around my hand.
 
It
had stopped bleeding, but was still a nice gash I’d have to deal with in the morning.
 
I kicked off my shoes and pulled the covers
up over my head to hide from the overwhelming thoughts swirling around inside
my mind.

What would I do
if he actually called me tomorrow?
 
The
thought occurred to me that I should just pack up my car tonight and run home
to Wading River, but what would I say to my parents when they asked why.
  
Mostly I just wanted to pretend tonight had
never happened.
 
But I knew that just wasn’t
possible anymore.

Against my will,
I found myself imagining what it would have been like if Daniel had kissed
me.
 
How his lips would have felt against
mine.
 
What it would feel like in his
embrace, his arms wrapped tightly around me.
 
My traitorous imagination combined with my hormones wondered how it
would feel if his hand started at the base of my neck and slowly trailed down
my spine.
 
I think I’d moan, but instead
I shuddered under the covers seeing his lifeless black eyes staring back at
me.
 
I’d seen myself reflected in
them.
 
He wanted me, wanted me
desperately, but in that dark moment at the top of the stairs, it was not in
the way I wished he would.
 

I closed my eyes tightly trying to
will
myself into unconscious sleep, but it didn’t work.
 
Finally a few hours later, I drifted off, too
exhausted to dwell on him any longer.