The Publicist Book One and Two (7 page)

Mac was right. What the hell was she doing? Two glasses of champagne and half a Cosmo had gone straight to her head. She needed to rein it in.

“Sorry, you’re right. It’s none of my business.”

Mac’s eyes softened as he looked at Kate. For the first time in a long time, he wished he were single and able to scoop her up and carry her out of this bar and home to his bed. The carnal urge overtook him suddenly, and he fought it off with every ounce of his resistance. Seeing someone at work had never boded well for him in the past. His last relationship, which had ended over a year ago, was a disaster. She’d wanted more—a lot more: A home, a wedding, and a bunch of kids. Mac couldn’t give her any of it. She’d been devastated. While he tried to fix the relationship, he realized he couldn’t, nor should he. If she really wanted those things, then he needed to let her go so she could find them. It was the least he could do. So they broke up, but it became too difficult to work together so she moved on. Mac hadn’t fallen in love, but he’d been in very deep like. The space she left when the affair ended had left him feeling hollow and more alone than he’d felt in a long time. Since then he’d had a lot of “offers” to see other women but had turned them all down, vying to never go down that emotionally charged road again. Until now. Until he started watching this smart, beautiful, and feisty publicist claw her way into a better position in the company. For years, Mac had passed her in the hall; they’d share some idle chatter, but nothing more. Then it changed, gradually at first, but he found himself looking forward to seeing her come into the office and present at sales meetings, and then finding ways to bring a smile to her face.

“You seem lost in thought, Mac,” Kate finally said, trying to end the obvious silence between them.

When Mac didn’t respond, she continued, “Can I ask you one more question, Mac?”

He regarded her with caution and smiled. “Nothing ever good followed a request like that.” He sipped his beer.

“What’s your story? Why are you here with me instead of at home, with your wife?”

The word “wife” hung between them. Mac exhaled slowly, a breath of regret, and a cloud seemed to pass over them. Already, Kate was sorry she’d let her Cosmo lead the conversation.

“My marriage…” he paused, not sure how much he should divulge to her. The picture was never pretty, and he knew that the entire scene made him look less of a chivalrous guy than he’d hoped to portray. But something about Kate made him want to confess. Finally, the words almost tumbled out.

“My marriage is not a good one, but I’m not going to sit here and tell you that she doesn’t understand me because she does—probably better than anyone else ever has. Nor am I going to tell you that she’s an evil witch who fights with me all the time, because she’s not. She’s probably one of the most kind and gentle people you’d ever want to meet. It just doesn’t work between us and hasn’t for a long time.”

Kate was startled at his revelation. “Then why do you stay, Mac? You must love her.”

“I love her, but I’m not in love with her. That ended years ago. It’s complicated, Kate, but I stay because I have to. Leaving would kill her, although she and I haven’t been together or married in that sense in over twenty years.”

Kate felt her cheeks redden; this was far more information than she was comfortable with. How can two people stay in a relationship for over twenty years and not be intimate? And why in the world did he stay? The questions swirled through her mind, desperately wanting to be answered.

“Relationships are complicated,” she said finally, hoping to end the conversation and push it into a different direction.

“So what about you, Kate?” It was obvious Mac wasn’t going to let this go.

“What about me?”

Mac grinned, “It’s okay. We can change the topic. I’m just curious why you haven’t been snapped up yet.”

Kate looked over Mac’s shoulder at the painting that hung behind him on the wall. ‘Because I’m always attracted to the wrong men,’ she wanted to say. Her eyes found his again.

“Just busy, Mac. You know, with work.”

“That’s an excuse and you know it.”

Kate shrugged, “It’s the truth, Mac. Very few men have the bandwidth to deal with a woman who has her own career.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Not really. I mean, it’s one thing to have a job, but this is my career and I intend on doing it for a long time. I’m also pretty damned good at it if I do say so myself, and that kind of confidence is intimidating.”

“It’s not to me,” Mac said in almost a whisper. Where the hell did that come from, he wondered.

But Kate, as classy as she was, only smiled, patted his arm, and said, “Thanks Mac. But, no offense, you don’t count; you’re married.” And with that, Mac understood his place in her life. As long as he was connected to someone in marriage, he’d never be connected to Kate in any other way than a professional one. For the second time that night, Mac wished like hell that he were single.

…

Mac dropped Kate off at her apartment at one a.m. Her phone had been returned to her, although Kate had already forgotten that he’d locked it in the trunk. The evening had been fun, and while she hadn’t wanted it to end, Kate knew better than to close down the bar with him. But, she’d seen another side to Mac that night—one she hadn’t expected. She assumed now from their conversation that the rumors were true. Mac was seeing other women. It’s likely that’s why he kept the apartment in the city. But the idea of Mac cheating on his wife didn’t disgust her as she expected it would. Whether it was the alcohol working its magic or her hormones ricocheting inside her body, she felt she almost understood him. He never said a negative word about his wife, which made him seem less deceitful somehow.

“It didn’t work,” is what he had said. The why and how was still a mystery to her, but at least she knew now what she was dealing with. Sort of. She still didn’t understand a lot of what MacDermott Ellis was about. But then, he was a mystery to most everyone else, too. Mac let very little of his private life be known to anyone. He seldom talked about his boys and never talked about his wife.

Kate watched the car speed away and disappear into traffic. For whatever reason, she didn’t want to go inside yet. Instead, she pulled her coat around her to keep away the chill of the cold night air. She tried to calm her mind as it retraced the evening, wondering if she’d gone too far with her questions. That’s when it hit her. The reason she couldn’t move inside, and why she stayed on the sidewalk and stared at the car that had long since been swallowed up in the late-night traffic.

Secretly, she hoped Mac would ask the driver to turn the sedan around.

Chapter Fourteen

“I can’t believe that loser Bernie did that to you,” Grace said, dipping her tea bag into her cup. They met at Zoe’s Shack and Coffee House just about every Sunday morning, except when Kate was traveling or Grace had a painting to finish. It was an eclectic place in the Village. On Saturday nights, they’d highlight a local artist. During the week, they’d invite authors and poets in to do readings. Occasionally, Kate would secure Zoe’s for a local author or someone traveling to the area. Not too often, because the publicity department frowned on signings in anything other than a chain store. At their Sunday morning meetings, Grace always brought her own tea bags and just asked for a cup of hot water. Kate would watch the servers, some of them puzzled, hand her friend the steaming cup. Grace didn’t trust coffeehouse tea bags. Besides, she had a preference: Spiced Green Tea. There was only one place in New York she could get it, and Grace was always well stocked. Kate never drank tea; a large latte with an extra shot and always non-fat milk was her drink of choice.

Kate sipped her coffee; it was just the jolt she needed to wake her up after spending a somewhat sleepless night tossing and turning. She didn’t dare tell Grace why she couldn’t sleep.

“I was horrified, Gracie. I swear I didn’t know what I was going to do.”
“So what happened?”

Kate hesitated before she answered, “Mac showed up with the books.”

Grace cocked her head, “Mac?” she said, letting his name hang in the air.

“He saved the day, Grace. Thank God he found some copies, or my head would have been on the chopping block. I’m just glad it’s over.”

“And what did Mac want in return for saving the day?”

Kate took another sip of her latte. “Why do you always have to distrust Mac? He did a nice thing, and then he took me out for a drink.”

Kate regretted that last sentence as soon as it was out of her mouth. She was tired and confused, and she didn’t need to be descended upon by her best friend. Kate put her hand up.

“Wait, before you start in on me about Mac, let me say that it was a perfectly chaste evening.”

“Nothing about Mac is ‘chaste,’ Katie, and you know it.”

“We had fun. It was nice to get to know him in that setting, especially since we’re going to be working closer together on that new book.”

Grace was silent, staring into her cup.

“Kate, listen. I’m not trying to stir up trouble. I just want you to be aware of men like Mac. They are smooth and clever and will have you out of your panties before you even know what hit you. Once he’s got you out of them, he’ll dump you like third period French.”

Kate had already become accustomed to the lecture, and she knew the rumors, but the Mac she spent the evening with had been nothing but a gentleman.

Finally, Kate said, “Gracie, I know you’re just looking out for me. I promise I’m not interested in Mac that way. He’s just a colleague—nothing more. He saved an event for an author. We had a drink to celebrate, which, by the way, I really needed. And that was that.”

“So, you mean he never brought up his wife or his marriage?”

Jesus, when would this inquisition be over? Her head started pounding.

“No, he didn’t,” Kate lied to try and end the conversation. She didn’t want to lie to Grace, but her need to end the direction this was taking outweighed her desire to tell the truth.

Grace put a gentle hand over her friend’s.

“Just be careful, Katie. Mac’s a pro at this. I just don’t want you hurt, and I think you like him more than you’re willing to admit.”

“I’ll be careful. I promise. And I’m not interested in him at all,” Kate said.

But they both knew that was a lie.

Chapter Fifteen

Mac woke up and reached for the pillow beside him. His first thought was of Kate, and he wondered if she was still home asleep or off enjoying her Sunday. He thought back with a hint of regret that he’d opened himself up to Kate about his marriage. Maybe it was the night, the drink, or the fact that he craved the feel of a woman. Kate confused him, possibly more than any woman had before. She wasn’t his typical woman, either. She was his equal in many ways, and the idea of her aroused him.

“Fuck,” he said aloud. The last thing he wanted was another entanglement, especially with someone he worked with. But in his heart, he knew it didn’t matter. Mac knew exactly what he was doing and what he wanted. The wheels were in motion, and no one could stop it, least of all him.

Chapter Sixteen

“What the hell were you thinking?” Kate walked into Bernie’s office, her eyes fixed on him.

“What do you mean, Kate?” Bernie blinked, looking almost lost.

“Did you
not
get my nine hundred voicemail messages?”

“I did, Kate. But I didn’t get them until later. I hear Mac saved the day, though, so all is well.”

Kate couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“No, Bernie. All is not well. I need to know what happened. Why did you short me books at this event?”

Bernie shrugged as if the question had been something far more benign than a nearly flubbed book event.

“A mistake, Kate. Nothing more. I’m very sorry, but what else can I do?”

Kate was dumbfounded. She expected more, although she knew she shouldn’t. She had hoped some shred of responsibility would find its way into Bernie’s mind and he’d realize the grief he had caused her. But he either didn’t know or didn’t care.

“Good Monday morning, you two! How is everyone today?” Edward’s voice came from behind her. The words Kate was about to spew at Bernie froze on her lips.

“Fine,” Kate mumbled and pushed past Edward to her own office. There was no sense in trying to have this discussion with Bernie while Edward was listening. She’d never win it. A publicist was just supposed to “handle it.” When she arrived at her office, she found Mac waiting for her.

Kate looked every bit as annoyed as she felt.

“Can I help you?” she asked in a tone that nearly took off his head.

“Whoa, Katie! What’s up?” Mac threw her a smile that could melt an iceberg. Right now, she felt immune to it. She wanted to be alone. She didn’t want to entertain Mac or repeat the scene with Bernie she’d just witnessed.

“This is really not a good time, Mac.” Kate walked past him to her desk and took a seat. Mac closed the door behind him, which made her blood boil even more.

“Seriously, Mac, I wouldn’t push this.”

“You had a run-in with Bernie; I saw you in his office when I got here and figured you could use a friend.”

Suddenly, Mac’s ability to know exactly what she needed was starting to bug the hell out of her.

“It doesn’t matter.” She waved a hand, hoping it would all go away. “I just need to be alone.”

“It does matter, Kate. I know how important your career is to you. Had this gone south, it could have meant, well, we both know what it could have meant.” Mac slid into one of her leather chairs. Kate wished he would leave. Nothing he was saying was making her feel any better.

“Bernie will accept responsibility for nothing. Not ever. The sooner you learn that, the better off you’ll be.”

“Not only did he not accept responsibility, but he also blew off the whole freaking incident. Like he’s forgotten an event poster instead of the one reason people were there: the books.”

“Kate, I’m not trying to diminish this. Believe me, I’m not. But, the quicker you move past it, the better you’ll be. People like Bernie get to these positions by God-knows-what means. Maybe he’s Edward’s bastard son. I don’t know. The point is, if you push this, you won’t win. He will.”

Kate knew exactly what he meant. It wasn’t a double standard. It was more than that. It was the level of respect publicity people got within a house. Basically none. Well, none until you got your first bestseller. Then you could walk on water. Bernie would have never pulled this crap on her if she’d had a slew of superstar books to her name. Then again, if she did, she’d never be working with Bernie. He’d be relegated to a lowly PR person who’d just entered the fold. Someone who didn’t know better. Someone like her.

Kate hated the way she felt—hated the way the whole situation made her feel.

“Kate, listen,” Mac said, bringing her back from her spiraling thoughts. “It’s over, and you’ll move on. When you see Bernie, you’ll just smile and pretend nothing ever happened. Okay?”

Kate nodded and took a deep breath.

“I hate this.”

Mac’s eyes softened.

“I know you do, Katie. But it’s just the game, and that’s how you play it. Now, I’m going to take you away from all of this. Next week, we’re going to Seattle to meet Michael Singer, the author of
The Continued Promise,
the book that will be your golden ticket off of this hamster wheel MD has you on.”

“How far is he in the manuscript?”

Mac stood up. “That’s what we’re going there to find out.”

“Is it imperative that I go, Mac? Sounds more like this is your shtick until the book is finished.”

Kate could hear Grace’s words in her head: “Be careful, Katie…”

The night in the bar with Mac’s guilty confession was still fresh in her mind, although Mac, himself, seemed to have forgotten all about it.

“This is a big book, Kate. I need you with me on this, every step of the way. Besides, a change of scenery will do you good.”