The Publicist Book One and Two (12 page)

“How do you know it’s time?” Mac could hardly hear her. Her voice was low and fraught with emotion.

“You just know,” he said. “Sort of like we know now. We should really finish our hot chocolate, you should go back to your apartment, and I should go to mine. But I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that. I want you to come home with me, and I want to hold you and make love with you, and then I want to wake up with you.”

Kate wanted that, too. More than she could even put into words.

Mac continued, “The smart thing would be to end this. But I’ve never been smart, and for whatever reason, I lose every bit of reason I have when I’m in a room with you.”

Kate spoke, looking down at her cup. “What happens when I fall in love with you? Which I will.” She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in. “Being with you is like dating someone with an unknown expiration date. You know it will end; you just don’t know when.”

“We will cross that bridge when we come to it,” he offered. “Everything ends, Katie. I learned that years ago when I sat by my twelve-year-old friend and watched him die. Nothing lasts forever.” Mac covered her hand with his, and it made her spine tingle. She needed to be with him right now more than she needed to breathe.

“I want to take you home so badly,” he smiled, “but I want to enjoy this, too. This quiet, cozy place, just being here with you. Let’s sit here for a while, and then you can decide. Whatever you choose, I will understand.” Mac lifted the cup to his lips, still holding her hand.

They sat there for another hour, just talking and sharing stories. Mac wanted to know what it was like growing up in Arizona. Kate shared stories of blistering hot summers and the always-welcome fall. Mac talked about his life, skirting his marriage, but spoke of his sons and how proud he was of them both.

Finally, he said, “We should probably go, Kate. It’s getting late and I’m betting Maeve is ready to lock up.”

When Kate looked at the time, she was shocked that it was almost ten o’clock. “How did it get so late?”

“Time flies, doesn’t it?” Mac stood up. “You getting these?” He pointed to her stack of books.

“Honestly, I haven’t even looked through them, but I think I will anyway. She said they’d be perfect for me, and I have a feeling she’s right.”

“Maeve usually is.” Mac picked up his stack of books, and she followed him to the register.

Maeve appeared from the back room.

“You two ready to go?” she smiled. “No rush here. I’ll stay open as long as you want, although it’s getting nasty out there.”

Neither of them had noticed that the snow was falling hard now.

“I was going to suggest taking a cab,” Mac pulled out his wallet to pay for his books. “But, I think a subway will be safer.”

…

They walked through the falling snow to the subway stop, and then descended into the subway tunnel.

“We’ll take the R train,” Mac suggested. “It stops in the Village, so it’ll take you anywhere you need to go.”

Kate didn’t respond. She knew that he was giving her an out—not that Kate wanted that, per se, but it was gallant that he offered. A train finally screeched to a halt in front of them and they got on.

“What’s your stop?” she asked.

“Lex and Fifty-Ninth.”

Kate nodded. With each stop, Mac kept expecting her to hop off. But she didn’t. Finally, when his stop approached, she got off with him and smiled.

“First times can always be brushed off as an accident. Second times are intentional.” Kate dug her hands deeper in her pockets, smiled, and walked ahead of him up the stairs.

“You’re sure?” he asked when they emerged onto the street.

“No, Mac. I’m not sure of anything when I’m around you. But I know this. I know that if I don’t go home with you I’ll spend the rest of the night wishing I had. And if I do, I’ll probably spend half a second wishing I hadn’t. So, I’ve opted for the lesser pain. At least right now, tomorrow be damned.”

“You really are something, Katie Mitchell.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

Kate woke up with a problem. She wasn’t sure what she should do. Should she swing her legs out of bed, grab her purse, and go? Mac slept beside her, his legs curled around hers. She’d rather stay, but Mac had left right away. However, that was Friday and they both had to get to work. She watched him sleep and pondered: To leave or not to leave?

“Hey, Katie, you look deep in thought.” Mac was watching her. “What’s up? You’re not thinking about leaving, are you?” He threw a strong arm across her shoulders.

Kate leaned into him. “I wasn’t sure what to do,” she said softly

“Well, you should stay and let me make you breakfast.” Mac trailed a finger across her naked breast. “Or, we could make love again. That works, too. Although, if we’re voting here, breakfast would come in second.”

Kate laughed; Mac was always good at making her laugh. And now he was good at other things, too. “I’m actually starving.”

“You are right. Let’s go refuel.” He kissed her gently, then pulled the sheet off his lean, toned body, and Kate watched him reach for a t-shirt and shorts. He handed her a robe. “Much as I’d love to watch you walk around my apartment naked.”

Kate slipped into the robe while her eyes wandered the bedroom. She hadn’t had time to take much of it in when they arrived. It was large enough for a king bed, which wasn’t always the case with a New York apartment. In fact, she rented a place once years ago that had a bedroom so small the double bed nearly blocked the door. Manhattan apartments were notoriously small and overpriced, but Mac’s apartment was newer and big, with lots of double paned windows to keep out the noise and the traffic dust. The bedroom was furnished with a slight Asian flair—clean lines, minimal but expensive furnishings, and lots and lots of space.

I could get used to this
, she thought as she realized that her entire apartment could fit in his bedroom.

The living room was spacious with heavy, overstuffed burgundy leather couches and big windows. It was comfortable and neat without being stuffy. There was a fireplace and a smaller dining room that was connected to the kitchen by a breakfast bar. Kate noticed picture frames but was almost afraid to look and see who was in them. When she got closer, she couldn’t help herself. She almost breathed a sigh of relief. Mac and his boys. Mac and his dad who had passed away two years before. His mother who died before Kate met him. All of this life behind the man, this personal side of him she’d wondered about but never knew. She was glad there were no pictures of Carolyn; she didn’t need to see her right now. Seeing pictures of his wife right now would break the spell.

“My boys are coming next weekend,” he almost read her mind. “Coffee?”

Kate nodded.

“Do you see them much?”

“Not as often as I’d like to now that they’re in college, but we’re close and I’m grateful for that.”

Kate sat on a barstool at the breakfast counter and watched Mac cook. He grabbed eggs, cheese, mushrooms, and some tomatoes and started mixing them all together. It had been a while since someone had cooked for her.

“So, what’s on tap for today, Kate?” Mac smiled over his shoulder at her.

“Well, I need to go see Allan and give him Edward’s agreement.”
“You have to do that today?” he asked.

“Yeah, well, Edward seemed keen on getting this ‘wrapped up by Monday,’” she said, her voice slightly mocking.

Mac flipped the omelet; it was the most perfect omelet she’d ever seen.

“Right.” He turned to her, handing her a steaming mug of coffee. “I was hoping we could spend the day together.”

At first, Kate didn’t know what to say. Mac smiled.

“It’s okay, Katie, we can do that.”

“I just…didn’t…I thought—”

Mac came around the bar and turned her stool to face him. “That since we’re having an affair we can’t spend daylight hours together?”

Kate nodded.

“You’re probably right. Maybe we shouldn’t, but I want to. God knows how impulsive I can be when I’m around you.” Mac ran a finger across her lips.

“But, aren’t you worried about…”

“About what? Being seen? It’s always on my mind.” He looked away for a minute, almost embarrassed by the thought. “So, how about we have breakfast. Then, you go see Allan, and then come back here and we’ll go do something.”

“What did you have in mind?” Her lips tugged at the corners.

“Not sexual. Let’s see if we can spend twenty minutes together without ripping each other’s clothes off.”

“We did last night,” she offered, thinking back to Maeve’s cozy bookstore.

“Right. See?” he smiled as he walked back into the kitchen. “We have the ability to be around one another without being naked, but let’s not make it a habit, okay? I love making love to you.”

Mac slid the omelet onto a plate and handed it to her. Kate’s cheeks were red. “You’re blushing. Keep it up and I’ll really give you something to blush about.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Kate stood in line at Trader Joe’s off of Fourteenth Street. The line curled around the aisles but seemed to be moving in a pretty organized fashion. She nudged the basket at her feet along as the people in front of her kept moving ahead. The papers Edward had given her were folded and tucked neatly into her purse. A white corner of the envelope peeked out, reminding her of the task that lay before her.

It was a ritual that she’d stop and get Allan some food before she dropped by, and despite it being Saturday and the store packed with shoppers, she didn’t want to arrive empty-handed. Or rather, she didn’t just want to pop in with Edward’s missive and then leave. This had to look like a regular visit. Kate sighed. If it were a regular visit, she wouldn’t be on acting as Edward’s messenger boy. Kate pondered how she would tell Allan. During the few years she’d known him, he hadn’t really mentioned the contract, except occasionally referring to it as an “unpleasant tether” that connected him to a publisher and an industry he wanted nothing to do with. Still, Kate knew that he kept up with publishing and that part of him would never leave it.

Publishing was like that; once it got into your system, it would take an exorcism to get it out. Most people never left the industry, although she’d known some publicity people that got sick of being the focal point for fame and would retire into other areas like editing or becoming a literary agent. She wasn’t really sure which was the lesser of the two evils. It was all about creativity and the ego—often a lethal combination. She once knew a publicity person who ended up working in the technology sector.

When Kate asked her if she’d ever return to publicity, she replied, “Oh God, no.” Sometimes the industry took a hard toll.

A skinny young kid with a flag waved her on to a register.

“Number ten,” he smiled. It was her turn to check out, and with the efficiency they were known for, she was out of there and back in the bright, cold, December sun within seven minutes. Just a few blocks and she’d be at Allan’s. Usually, she looked forward to her visits, but this time she didn’t. Although she knew he would insist he didn’t care, she was certain this would break his heart.

Generally, Kate would breeze into Allan’s apartment with a cheery, “How’s my favorite author today?”

But on this particular Saturday, Kate didn’t feel her usual happy self. She hated the task that lay before her. Her heart felt heavy and hesitant. This was a mistake, she thought. Let Edward handle his own paperwork. But then, she realized if he did it would be delivered by some pimple-faced messenger with no more than a semi-grunted, “Have a nice day.”

Allan deserved better than that.

After a light knock at the door, Allan opened it with a smile.

“Why, if it isn’t my favorite publicist!” he said, his voice authentically cheery. Kate was glad. He must be taking his meds, and he was dressed, which on a Saturday morning was a rarity. Kate set down her bags, hugged him, and gave him a soft peck on the check.

“It’s good to see you, Allan. You look great!” she enthused.

“Well, my nephew is in town! Remember, I told you he was going to be visiting?” Kate eased past him to the kitchen where she found everything tidy and put away. Typical for a visit from Nicholas.

“Right, I forgot he was coming today. That’s great, Allan. Is he staying long?”

Allan followed her into the kitchen. “Through Christmas! I’m so happy he’ll be staying that long; it’s been ages since we’ve spent so much time together. He decided at the last minute to extend his trip.”

Kate was surprised. In past visits, Nicholas had only breezed in and out, which is why they’d never met before.

“When will he be here?” Kate emptied the bags, putting the food neatly away.

“Katie, my love, you don’t need to buy me food each time you visit. But I am so grateful that you take such good care of me.”

Kate smiled, “Seems you’ve already been shopping. I’m proud of you, Allan.”

Allan laughed, “You say that like I’ve never been shopping before.”

“Sorry, I just, well…”

Allan put a weathered hand over hers. “I know. I was kidding. Today is a good day. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Kate’s eyes started to burn.
A good day
, he said. Well, not for long.

“So, what time will Nicholas get here?” she asked.

“His flight arrived at JFK, so luggage and a cab ride…”

Allan looked at his watch. Kate noticed how grey he’d gotten in the last few months. When Kate met Allan he still had a full head of dark, slightly wavy hair. Now it was thinning and lighter.

“Probably an hour or so. Can you wait around?”

Kate thought about Mac. He could wait a little longer. She was sure he’d understand.

“Of course,” she smiled.

“Tea, my darling Katie?”

“Please, and I bought some of that ginger tea you love so much. Let’s have that.”

Allan set the kettle on the stove. He still loved cooking the old way. Although he had a microwave, he rarely used it.

Kate sat down at Allan’s antique table and chairs that served as a dining table. Allan’s apartment was bigger than most, with two bedrooms, a long hallway, and a reasonably-sized kitchen and living room. Usually, though, there were papers and magazines scattered everywhere. Overstuffed drawers and unread newspapers often lined the table and spilled into the living room. Allan had one small computer that was tucked away in the second bedroom. The kettle whistled. Allan set two hot mugs down and took his seat across from Kate.

“So, what’s new in the world of books, Katie?” he smiled.

“I start another big promotion coming up.” Kate lifted the tea bag, dunking it back into her cup. “Isla VonKarting, that psychic who was big about ten years ago, has a book coming out. Also, the diet guru and my darling author Janet Easter is doing a signing next weekend that I’m really looking forward to.”

“You like Janet, don’t you?”

“I do. She’s so old school—charming, always happy with whatever press I can get her, which of late hasn’t been too much, unfortunately.” Kate thought about the other authors, the ones writing the racy, hot sex scenes with half-naked men on the cover. Janet’s books often had flowers and quaint homes. Kate wondered how long Janet would be able to keep her following. It seemed everyone wanted romance novels with a highly erotic thread. Or, in the case of
Shades of Grey
, housewives living out fantasies of being tied up.

“Publishing is a helluva a business, Kate, and MD doesn’t make it any easier. I’m sure they don’t pay you what you’re worth, and they sure as hell don’t appreciate you. It took, what, seven years for you to get a star title? Insane.” Allan sipped his tea. This was her best chance to bring up the agreement.

“Speaking of MD,” Kate hesitated. Her mouth felt dry. This was going to kill Allan. She was sure of it. “That’s part of the reason why I’m here. Edward wants to let you out of your contract with them.”

Allan snorted, “You mean that philandering mess of a CEO finally figured out how to get rid of me? I was wondering how long it would take him to find the loophole.”

Kate was startled. “Wait, you knew that there was a way out of the contract?”

Allan laughed, “You bet I did. My former lawyer was a lot of things, but dumb wasn’t one of them. He pointed that out to me years ago.”

“So, why didn’t you tell MD that? I mean, if you really wanted out…”

“Because I wanted to fuck with Ed.” Allan winked at her. “I’ve known all along how to get out of that contract.”

“Allan, I’m confused. You always said it was a tether, like an albatross, something you didn’t want.”

“I didn’t want it, but I wanted to jack with Ed more. I can’t stand that bastard.” He smiled when he said it. Checkmate, Allan. He’d kept Edward in the dark and strung him along for years with an unwritten book.

Allan leaned forward. “Look, Katie, years ago when they drew up that contract, my lawyer wanted to be sure that if MD ended up being a piece of shit publisher that I’d have a way out—a way to freedom if I wrote a second book and wanted to find a better home for it, that’s all.”

“So, this doesn’t bother you, then?” Kate asked, still surprised by Allan’s revelation. She wondered now what other secrets about MD, or his relationship with Edward, he might be keeping.

Allan thought for a moment. “I guess it does, but not in the way you think. I sort of always thought I’d get inspired to write a second book. But, nothing ever came to me, so I didn’t.” He sipped his tea. “There were parts of being an author I loved: Seeing your book in a bookstore, and if you were lucky, in the window; or walking by Barnes & Noble on Fifth and signing a few copies. Did I tell you they still carry
The Fall
?”

Kate wasn’t sure how to respond, but somehow she didn’t believe Allan. If Kate knew nothing else, she knew an author’s heart. There were few authors that only had one book in them; most of them had at least two, maybe even more. Some, like Janet, had dozens. Kate knew in her heart that Allan was disappointed, maybe even more than she realized. But, he was showing a brave face for whatever reason. Probably because he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone’s pity.

“So, where is the contract. Let’s make Eddie’s day, shall we?” Kate reached for the envelope and slid it across the table. Allan opened it, grabbed a pen, and signed it.

“Aren’t you going to read it?”

He shook his head. “No need. It’s clear cut. Eddie doesn’t want anything to do with me, and the feeling is mutual. They can’t touch
The Fall
. It’s still my baby and will be until the day I die.” Allan folded the paperwork and slipped it back in the envelope.

“So, Katie, I got a new computer that I’d love to show you. Come with me.”

Kate followed Allan into his office, still puzzled by what had just happened. She followed Allan down the hall. There in his office was a shiny new Mac.

“Nicholas actually had it delivered to me as a Christmas present.” He smiled, pointing to the laptop. “He seemed to think it would inspire me to write. I’m just hoping I can still play Solitaire on this damned thing.”

Kate let out a small laugh. It was so like Allan. He needed so little to make him happy. They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Nicholas is here!” Allan seemed ecstatic. He slipped out of the office, Kate behind him, and opened his front door.

Nicholas stood as tall, handsome, and tan as Kate would have expected a California boy to be. He flashed a brilliant white smile and sported sandy blond wavy hair. He was dressed in jeans and a pale blue shirt, but he looked like he’d just come from the beach. His jacket was too light for this weather; no doubt Allan would supply him with one.

“Uncle! So great to see you. Man it’s cold in the city!” Nicholas hugged Allan and the two stood in the doorway. Kate stepped back to give them a moment, but Nicholas caught her out of the corner of his eye.

“Uncle Allan, is this Kate, the one you’re always telling me about?” He stepped inside and past his uncle. Nicholas reached to shake her hand.

“We finally meet.” A brilliant white smile almost overtook his face. Kate thought he could be a model with his perfect tan and chiseled featured. He looked almost god-like.

Kate took his hand. “Nice to meet you, Nicholas.”

“Please, only my uncle stands on formality. I prefer Nick.”

“Nicholas was your father’s name, my dearly departed brother. I have always loved that name.”

Nick rested a hand on his shoulder. “I know you have, Uncle, and you may call me anything you like.” Nick gave Allan a soft kiss on the cheek. Allan seemed to glow.

“Allan,” she said after Nick wheeled his suitcase inside, “I should go. I have some things I need to take care of.”

“I’m sorry you won’t be staying,” Nick smiled. There it was again, that blinding flash. She’d need a pair of sunglasses if she was going to spend more time with this guy.

“Well, she’ll be back for Christmas,” Allan smiled. “Thanks for dropping by, my Katie darling. It’s always good to see you.”

Kate hugged Allan hard. She still felt sad about what had just happened. Allan was no longer an MD author. His career was over, yet oddly he didn’t seem to mind. Although Kate was certain he did.